I’m sure that you’ve probably heard of the hit musical Les Miserables. It takes place in the early 1800’s in France and follows the life of Jean Valjean and those around him through a turbulent time in French history. It is an excellent play with truly fantastic music that I’ve recently fallen completely in love with. Normally, this wouldn’t affect you – but the fortuitous arrival of the United States tour in my home town has spawned a greater enthusiasm for the play, and I have to have a receptacle for that enthusiasm.
Now, since so many millions have seen the play (and you all look to me to be intelligent, theater-going types), there’s a good chance you’ll know what I’m talking about. And, if you don’t have any idea who Inspector Javert is, perhaps I can bring Cameron Mackintosh* a little bit more money by introducing you to this wonderful performance.
So sit back, let yourself drift backwards a hundred years and to the world of France as we see life from a less happy angle than usual.
Prisoner 24601
2BB
Creature – Prisoner Legend
Prisoner 24601 cannot attack or block. Prisoner 24601 cannot be targeted by spells or abilities.
During your upkeep, put a Service counter on Prisoner 24601.
Remove 19 Service counters, pay 4 life: You win the game.
6/4
“You know what that means.””Yes, it means I’m free.”
Jean Valjean
2WWW
Creature – Benefactor Legend
T: Prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn to creatures you control.
Put a -1/+1 counter on Jean Valjean: Regenerate target creature. Use this ability on once each turn.
6/4
“Believe of me what you will. There is a duty that I’m sworn to do.”
~Jean Valjean
Inspector Javert
1UB
Creature – Inspector Legend
Inspector Javert cannot be blocked.
During your upkeep, if you weren’t attacked last turn, put a Folly counter on Javert. Otherwise, remove all Folly counters from Javert. If there are five Folly counters on Javert, sacrifice Javert.
UU, T: Tap target creature. That creature doesn’t untap during its controller’s next untap step.
BB, put a +1/-1 counter on Inspector Javert: Destroy target attacking creature. Use this ability only once each turn.
1/4
“God be my witness, I never shall yield ’til we come face to face.”
~Inspector Javert
Fantine
1WW
Creature – Mother Legend
During your upkeep put a -1/-1 counter on Fantine and put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. If this results in Fantine being put in the graveyard, gain control of target creature.
Pay two life: Put a +0/+1 counter on Fantine.
1/3
“Your mother gave her life for you, then gave you to my keeping.”
~Jean Valjean, to Cosette
Monsieur Thernardier
UUBB
Creature – Urchin Legend
Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature you control, T: Put a -1/-2 counter on target creature.
T: Destroy target creature. It cannot be regenerated. Use this ability only if you control at least four other black creatures.
Sacrifice a creature that you do not own: Destroy target creature. It cannot be regenerated.
“I raise my eyes to see the heavens, and only the moon shines down.”
~Thernardier
(Apprently urchins are so small that they don’t actually get stats – The Ferrett)
Enjolras
4GR
Creature – Revolutionary Legend
During your upkeep, put a Revolutionary token into play. Treat this token as a 1/1 white creature.
All Revolutionaries get +1/+1.
Sacrifice a Revolutionary: Deal one damage to target creature or player.
When Enjolras leaves play, sacrifice all Revolutionaries you control and deal two damage to target creature or player for each Revolutionary removed in this way, divided any way you choose.
4/4
“With all the anger in the land, how long before the judgment day? Before we cut the fat ones down to size – before the barricades arise?!”
~Enjolras
Marius Pontmercy
2UW
Creature – Revolutionary Legend
When Marius comes into play, choose one: Marius gets +*/+*, where */* is the power and toughness of target creature, or Marius cannot be the target of spells or abilities.
T: Gain control of target creature with a power less than 2. That creature is a Revolutionary in addition to its creature types.
1/3
“Do I follow where she goes? Do I join my brothers there? Or do I stay, and do I dare?…”
~Marius
Cosette Fauchelevent
1WW
Creature – Lover Legend
0: Choose a legend. That creature gains +1/+4 until end of turn. Use this ability only once each turn.
“I saw him once, and once will do.”
~Cosette
(Cosette isn’t statted, either! – The Ferrett)
Eponine Thernardier
2W
Creature – Urchin Legend
When Eponine comes into play, put X -1/-1 counters on Eponine, where X is equal to the number of creatures in play minus one..
All creatures you control get +2/+3.
Sacrifice Eponine: Target creature gains protection from any color/colors of your choice until your next upkeep.
T: Look at target player’s hand. If there is a legend card there, sacrifice Eponine and put that legend into play under your control.
1/4
“Without him, I feel his arms around me, and when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me.”
~Eponine
Gavroche Thernardier
1UG
Creature – Urchin Revolutionary Legend
X, T: Put X Revolutionary tokens into play under your control, where X is equal to the number of Revolutionaries in play under your control. Treat these tokens as 1/1 white creatures. At end of turn, sacrifice all creatures put into play in this manner this turn.
Sacrifice Gavroche: All creatures you control get +1/+3 until end of turn.
Sacrifice Gavroche: All Revolutionaries you control get +2/+2 until end of turn.
3/1
“Think you’re poor? Think you’re free? Follow me, follow me!”
~Gavroche
Friends of the ABC
XRG
Creature – Revolutionaries
When Friends of the ABC comes into play, put X Revolutionaries into play.
Friends of the ABC’s power and toughness are each equal to the number of Revolutionaries you have in play.
*/*
“Red: The blood of angry men. Black: The dark of ages past. Red: A world about to dawn. Black: The night that ends at last.”
~Friends of the ABC
Barricade
Legendary Land
XX, T: Deal X damage to target creature, where X is the number of Revolutionaries in play.
All Revolutionaries get +1/+1
If Barricade is put into the graveyard from play, remove all Revolutionaries from the game.
If there are no Revolutionaries in play, sacrifice Barricade.
“You in the Barricade listen to this: No one is coming to help you to fight. You’re on your own!”
Meeting in the Sewers
3BW
Sorcery
Destroy target creature target opponent controls. It cannot be regenerated.
Put a creature from your graveyard into play under your control.
“It’s you, Javert. I knew you wouldn’t wait too long. A faithful servant at his post once more. This man has done no wrong, and he needs a doctor’s care!”
~Valjean, to Javert
Storming the Barricade
1BR
Instant
Destroy target legendary land or legendary creature.
“There’s a grief that can’t be spoken – there’s a pain goes on and on. Empty chairs and empty tables … now my friends are dead and gone.”
~Marius
One Day More
WUBRG
Sorcery
Play One Day More only if you control five or more legends.
Put a One Day More token into play. During your upkeep, if you control a One Day More token, you win the game.
Tomorrow, we’ll discover what our God in heaven has in store. One more dawn … one more day … one day more!
Well, there you have it. I hope that those of you who enjoy the show had as much fun thinking about it in Magic terms as I did. And, for those of you who aren’t lucky enough to have heard the music from the show yet, I highly suggest you check it out.
Until next time!
Daniel Crane
[email protected]
* – Creator of Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, and many more hit shows.