I suppose if I were to stick to topicality, this column should be about the changes to the legendary creature/planeswalker rules announced last Thursday. On the other hand, I was topical last time with "Sliverlicious," and Doug Beyer already has said that Vorthos is making a sacrifice so a broader wedge of players will have a better gameplay experience. Instead of rehashing thoughts about legendary rules changes—in any event, while I’m not as thrilled as these two young ladies, neither am I worried, certainly less so than I am about neo-Slivers and Megantic Sliver in particular*—I’ll give some thoughts from the past few days about memorials (the Magic kind) and the StarCityGames.com Standard Open held this past Saturday in Fort Worth.
*"Megantic." Should mean "big," right? I mean, it has "mega" right there at the start! I can’t find it in any (paper) dictionary, though, nor online except as the name of the SS Megantic, an ocean liner of the White Star Line (yep, think Titanic—most of their ships ended in "-ic") that went between England and Canada. Apparently it was named after a Lake Megantic in the Canadian province of Quebec; that name derived from the (First Nations) Abenaki language and equates to "where the fish gather."
I can read the use of "Megantic" one of two ways, both of which start with someone perusing the ship names of the White Star Line. First possibility: someone got taken in by the "false friend" mega at the start, and "megantic" didn’t get caught before the card saw print that way, in which case I’m kind of disappointed. Second, more outlandish possibility: the submission was deliberate, a way to make a Sliver say "so long, and thanks for all the fish" since the Slivers’ nature was altered forever, in which case I must officially disapprove of it yet still note its sly subversive genius. Which version do you prefer?
Memorial
Monday was Memorial Day in the United States, the national commemoration of its war casualties with its roots in the U.S. Civil War. In other English-speaking countries, World War I is the most common touchstone for similar holidays. Anzac Day is a little more than a month gone in Oceania. For British Commonwealth nations, Remembrance Day will come on November 11th. On that day, when poppies sprout on lapels in England and elsewhere, the USA will have its Veterans Day, which honors all veterans living and dead. (Never mind how backlogged the VA claims system is. America loves its veterans. Just roll with it.)
It is natural enough for Magic, as a game of fantasy combat, to have a variety of memorials. There is only one card actually named "Memorial," though—Akroma’s Memorial, first printed in Future Sight and subsequently in Magic 2013.
Obvious shout-out is obvious.
Expanding the search for "memorial" to flavor text brings out two more on-point cards: the Mercadian Masques version of Revive (which with its reference to a crew member of the Skyship Weatherlight is an air force counterpart of sorts to the game’s many armies) and the visually dramatic Martyrs’ Tomb with its triplet exhortation: "Honor the brave who fought / Honor the dead who fell / Honor the world they saved."
The combination of "Martyr" in the title and "inscription" in the flavor text inspire a couple of new searches. Starting with "inscription," Ancient Tomb’s admonition says much about the Vec and their beliefs: "There is no glory to be gained in the kingdom of the dead." The Commander and Planechase versions of Ghostly Prison offer a solemn plea for peace. While the flavor text of Ishi-Ishi, Akki Crackshot is engineered to be funny to humans, from within the context of akki goblin society I see the cave inscription as sincere, not humorous. Goblins are sapient, and they have feelings too.
Go away, Braids. You’re not helping.
Searching for "martyr" gives some more complicated results. Simplest is Martyrdom, but I can’t tell what’s going on between the two images. The first is straightforward enough: the armored, sword-wielding knight is stepping in front of two people. The second, though, makes it look like the people he was protecting took the knight’s sword from him and stabbed him right through the chest—where he’d theoretically have armor. Yeah, I don’t know, either.
I don’t get this.
While Martyrdom deals in the tempting language of causes, the card Martyr’s Cause has bitter flavor text bordering on the sick, real Ambrose Bierce stuff. (The utter lack of flavor text from his infamous work, The Devil’s Dictionary, must be rectified as soon as possible.) Bierce was a veteran of the Civil War who had seen some of its most pointlessly death-dealing battles; one can only wonder how much more virulent his words might have been had he seen the viciousness and even larger-scale slaughter of World War I. Wilfred Owen, author of "Anthem for Doomed Youth" among other poems, is the source of the flavor text for the 9th Edition version of Cruel Edict, a card I’ve written about before.
"My subject is War, and the pity of War. The Poetry is in the Pity." — Wilfred Owen
This is not an exhaustive list of memorials in Magic, of course. In a certain sense, all of Portal Three Kingdoms may be taken as a memorial to the generals and emperors who shaped China’s fate during that turbulent time. Sakura-Tribe Elder speaks to the warrior-burying traditions of the orochi, or snake-people, of Kamigawa. Where funeral traditions are mentioned in Magic, associations with battle are near inevitable, and the exceptions, such as Invasion-era Obliterate and Vigil for the Lost, are notable as such.
In lieu of a proper transition, here’s a clip of two British youngsters who like country music singing together on a talent show.
Weekend
As shown by my appearance on Quick Questions, I was in attendance for the StarCityGames.com double Standard Open weekend in Fort Worth, albeit only for the Saturday round. (The Trinity Railway Express between Dallas and Fort Worth doesn’t run on Sundays.) Nonetheless, in just five rounds played, I had a great time.
After a mildly inauspicious start involving a rare late train that required me to run the full length of the Fort Worth Convention Center just to get to the venue on time, I received that sweetest of first-round opponents: ***BYE***. The lucky break gave me a chance to catch my breath and then un-catch it while exploring the Water Gardens, the trippy "what-the-1970s-thought-the-future-would-look-like" concrete environment adjacent to the convention center.
Active and quiet pools are great places to go to get off tilt, and for those with excess energy, climbing the 20-inch-high steps of the Mountain is a fun jaunt. Since I have plenty of excess energy that I am trying to lose from about my midsection and elsewhere, I climbed to the top and enjoyed the view for a few minutes. As the Mountain was controlled by the City of Fort Worth and not myself, I was ineligible to tap it for red mana.
Round 2 gave me an off-camera feature match against one Daniel Molina. It was his first feature match, and he was nervous. I did my best to put him at ease, but my deck rather worked at cross-purposes to that. He was playing Grixis Control, whereas I was playing G/W Midrange (think a less well built and less successful version of the following Jose Cervantes Saturday Top 8 list):
Creatures (26)
- 4 Avacyn's Pilgrim
- 4 Thalia, Guardian of Thraben
- 2 Sigarda, Host of Herons
- 4 Silverblade Paladin
- 4 Sublime Archangel
- 4 Loxodon Smiter
- 4 Voice of Resurgence
Lands (24)
Spells (10)
So what does Grixis not want to see? First game: second-turn Voice of Resurgence. Second game: second-turn Voice of Resurgence, third-turn Voice of Resurgence.* Add the perfect spot removal for the little board presence he could muster (a Selesnya Charm to drop Desecration Demon, a Plummet to send Olivia Voldaren packing) and it was just nasty for him. He was really cool, so I felt a little bad about how I beat him. It didn’t last long. I had a lot of rounds ahead of me.
*Ok, that should’ve been the transition: "This is The Voice! Da da da daa!"
My third round was against Shawn Richard, a quality Jund player. High on the list of things Jund does not forgive: the nine mana-source, four business-spell draw. I had it both games, so that was a quick tumble from the top tables for me.
My fourth round was the most fun match of Magic I’ve had in months. Jacob Dougan took me on quite the roller-coaster ride that involved a second-turn Farseek into a third-turn Rhox Faithmender (what?) into a fourth-turn Thragtusk (gaining ten life is some good…) into a fifth-turn Progenitor Mimic copying said Thragtusk. (Can’t. Stop. Laughing.)
Fortunately, I drew a Selesnya Charm to stop future Progenitor Mimic shenanigans, but the damage—well, life gain, really—was done. To try to make progress, I had to overcommit to the battlefield, and after a Supreme Verdict that was it. Luckily for me (and alas for him), his deck’s mana was unkind to him in subsequent games, giving me the match victory and forcing him to wait until after the results slip was signed to show me the Sylvan Primordial lurking in his deck for future fun times.
That match was hilarious, but it also took something out of me. After Jack Stewart and his Aristocrats deck dispatched me in two quick games (sample game plan: removal, removal, Boros Reckoner, Boros Reckoner), I dropped and went to catch the train back to Dallas. I was so out of it that when Mr. Stewart caught up to me as I was leaving, I didn’t even recognize him! I apologized to him face-to-face, but I’ll do it again here.
After a nice train ride back to Dallas, I hopped off at Victory Station to have a small plate and one of my favorite drinks (pineapple juice with a shot of hibiscus syrup, neat) at Cook Hall. I’d been planning to walk back to my apartment (it’s a 1.5-mile hike from there to Victory Station, which I’d made that morning), but a freak rainstorm both put a damper on that plan and gave me a certain inspiration: why not go visit a restaurant I’d heard of in the Arts District for my main course?
After settling my tab, I rode yellow to an extraordinarily well reviewed place called Tei-An. I arrived a bit too early and spent half an hour chilling by the Meiji-era tanuki statue sheltered in the courtyard, but once I got inside I had a nice bowl of soba(piping hot, plain broth, topped with duck breast) and a delicious ice cream and honey dessert.
While I was eating, yet another rainstorm came through, and instead of my planned walk back I took yet another cab. It was just as well; by the time I got home my legs were sore, and they remained sore two mornings later. I hadn’t walked enough beforehand, and I paid the price. I’ll have to walk more in advance of the next StarCityGames Open Series.
I hope you enjoyed this "split article" of mine. Join me in two weeks when I…well, I have no idea what wacky thing Magic’s going to do to the Vorthos population next, so we’ll just have to see. That said, I hope there aren’t any more surprises for a good long while. Between Slivers and legends, I’ve had quite enough excitement for one season.
As always, thanks for reading.
— JDB
@jdbeety on Twitter