Monday, June 1
I arrive in Honolulu, Hawaii. I check into my hotel and find that the other people I am staying with (Matt Westfall, Brian Six, Kevin Boddy) have already beaten me there. After some riff raff with the idiotic front desk agent, I gain entry into my room. The room is garbage. It is not what was advertised on the website. I knew I should have tried to find a Hilton. Don’t ever stay at the Aqua Waikiki Wave Hotel.
I meet up with Westfall, Six, and Boddy at Waikiki Beach. It’s completely insane. I thought these kind of beaches only existed in the movies! We lie out for a while and then hit a seafood buffet called Taodi. When we arrive at Taodi, we are informed that we only have 30 minutes to eat before they close. We accept their challenge and start running around like it’s the Legend of the Hidden Temple and the other customers are temple guards. Exactly fifteen minutes later, we all realize that 30 minutes is a lot longer than we thought, and decide that slowing down to actually enjoy our food is probably a better idea than mimicking vacuum cleaners. However, this does not stop one Brian Six.
Six has decided nothing is going to stop him from destroying Taodi. Nothing! First, he tore through the sushi tables. Then he mangled the teriyaki chicken area. Next, he demolished the skewered shrimp. But none of that compares to what he did to that poor poor chocolate fondue fountain. Fingers in and out, hoping no one was watching. One second he’s ramming bananas in there. The next it’s jumbo marshmallows. Where has his dignity gone?
Tuesday, June 2
Breakfast time. Apparently there is some place with macadamia nut pancakes and coconut syrup that you must go to while in Honolulu. We head there and run into LSV and some other So-Cal folk. We all get the all-you-can-haumph pancake breakfast, and Six decides to show some self-control.
I go shopping after breakfast and pick up some sick Oakleys and beach shorts for the week. The stores in Honolulu are awesome, and you find some things there that you don’t find in the continental United States. If I had more money, I would have bought a lot more things that I simply didn’t need.
We walk Waikiki Beach at night and take in how beautiful the ocean is at night. Words don’t really do Honolulu justice at night. It is just too gorgeous.
I go on a night-time adventure. Believe what you choose.
Wednesday, June 3
Westfall rents a car and we decide to head to the north shore. Waimei Bay is the destination, and it is sick. I don’t know how to swim, and I had a blast. The waves were really big for this time of year, and I got destroyed by them. The others went cliff-diving, and by the end I had so much sand in my afro I couldn’t get it all out.
The Dole Plantation was our next stop. Apparently, they have the world’s largest outdoor maze. We decide doing the maze would be pretty fun and took part in the activity. It would have been a lot more fun if we hadn’t eaten beforehand. Fifty-six minutes later, we all were in search of the men’s room.
Mazes defeated – 1
Pineapple consumed at the DOLE PLANTATION – 0
Toilets begging for mercy – Several
Thursday, June 4
The day before the PT. Time to get down to work. After consistent prodding by Six, Five-Color seems like the best deck. I am on board with it, though I hate Five-Color decks more than anything in the world. Talk picks up at the LCQ about the deck, and Uril, the Miststalker shoots up to $25. I still like the deck quite a bit, because it is extremely powerful and makes all spot removal in the format dead, which was a goal of mine at the beginning of the format. Here is the list I played:
Five-Color Control
4 Wall of Denial
2 Uril, the Miststalker
1 Empyrial Archangel
4 Terminate
4 Esper Charm
4 Maelstrom Pulse
4 Captured Sunlight
4 Bituminous Blast
3 Traumatic Visions
3 Cruel Ultimatum
1 Naya Charm
4 Exotic Orchard
4 Jungle Shrine
4 Rupture Spire
3 Seaside Citadel
3 Swamp
2 Arcane Sanctum
2 Island
2 Jungle Shrine
2 Mountain
Sideboard:
4 Celestial Purge
3 Countersquall
3 Thought Hemorrhage
2 Identity Crisis
1 Arcane Sanctum
1 Progentius
1 Traumatic Visions
I actually liked my decklist a lot for this tournament. I think not playing Bloodbraid Elf is correct, since it turns on your opponent’s removal, and the three damage you might get in is irrelevant. The entire goal of this deck is to resolve a Cruel Ultimatum. Nothing else. Once you resolve a Cruel Ultimatum, it is very difficult to lose. Every game that I cast it, I won. Every game that I didn’t, I lost.
Thursday night, it seemed like Five-Color was picking up in popularity, and I had no idea how to win the mirror match. I, like many others, got pretty worried and went into the tank on the best possibly ways to win the mirror. Everything was killable by Maelstrom Pulse, and nothing could get through Wall of Denial. Gerry T and I thought about it for a while, and considered things like sideboarding Savage Hunger to put on Uril, the Miststalker so that it could kill a Wall of Denial; sideboarding Thraximundar to destroy Wall of Denial; and even sideboarding a Progentius since it just would never die and was a great card if games came down to decking. In the end, everyone was far too worried about it, since there wasn’t that much Five-Color Control, and it is pretty hard to lose if you resolve Identity Crisis.
Friday, June 5
Round 1 versus Solari, Rafael [USA]
Game 1, Rafael doesn’t cast a spell until turn 7 and it’s a Blightning. Rafael kept a heavy removal hand because he expected me to be playing an aggressive deck like I always do. One Cruel Ultimatum later, and we are on our way to game 2. I guess I know what it’s like to be Chapin for once.
Game 2, my mana was pretty poor and I couldn’t cast Cruel Ultimatum at all. Awkward.
Game 3, the game has gone on for a little while. I removed Rafael’s splashed Realm Razers with Thought Hemorrhage and know he has Fleshbag Marauder in his hand. His board is Sprouting Thrinax, Putrid Leech, and Bloodbraid Elf. I cast Captured Sunlight, deciding that I really need to hit a Celestial Purge here to have a chance to win the game, as I have a Cruel Ultimatum in my hand. My plan works, and I am able to cast Cruel Ultimatum next turn as long as he doesn’t rip…
Rafael: “Blightning you.”
0-1
Round 2 versus Keith, Jody
Jody is a cool guy from New Orleans who came with Top 8 competitor Tom Ross. Jody didn’t do anything until turn 4, where he summoned Ranger of Eos for Noble Hierarch and Wild Nacatl. The problem is, I wasn’t doing much of anything either. Sarkhan Vol came to play, and so did the five dragons, and I was left thinking what went wrong.
It was after this game that I had really just given up on the tournament. That game, he didn’t do anything until turn 4, and it was never close. Sarkhan Vol; Elspeth, Knight-Errant; these, plus other expensive cards, just demolished me. The game went long, which is the goal of my deck, and I was never in it.
Game 2, Jody really didn’t do anything of consequence and I resolved Cruel Ultimatum.
Game 3 was a very frustrating one. He led with Wild Nacatl on the play, and then a Dauntless Escort on turn 3. All my lands were coming into play tapped, so I was a turn behind when I really needed to cast Maelstrom Pulse on turn 3 to keep up. On turn 4, I had Countersquall up and ready for his inevitable planeswalker, but he simply attacked me for six and passed the turn. On my turn, I Maelstrom Pulsed his Dauntless Escort and passed. The next turn, he played a Plains and cast Elspeth, Knight-Errant, and put me down to two life. I killed his Wild Nacatl with another Maelstrom Pulse and then Realm Razer came and ate all my lands. This game would have been close if I got to Countersquall a planeswalker when I needed to, but he didn’t have the correct mana to cast Elspeth, Knight-Errant. Annoying!
0-2
Round 3 versus Kochurov, Andrey [RUS]
I don’t remember much from this match, as I was already tilting pretty badly. The things that I do remember was that he was four-color Jund splashing Ajani Vengeant and Captured Sunlight, and I got destroyed both games.
One thing I do recall from game 2 was that I Thought Hemorrhaged his Anathemancers, and left Andrey with only Blighting and Sprouting Thrinax to cascade into. Vomit.
0-3
Round 4 versus Rubin, Ben [USA]
Ben was playing the Esper aggro deck that Herberholz and co. came up with. I wasn’t too familiar with the deck, but wasn’t too scared to be playing against it either. Game 1, I resolved a Cruel Ultimatum and – surprise surprise – I won.
Game 2, Ben went off with Thopter Foundry. And by “go off,” I mean he drew one. That card is really good, and pretty tough for my list of Five-Color to beat, since I didn’t have access to Jund Charm/Infest.
Game 3, Ben got off to a really slow start, and the game went long, but once again I didn’t win. Timely Countersqualls and Thopter Foundry did me in.
0-4
Round 5 versus Chan, Wayne [CHE]
At this point, I actually need to keep playing to try to get another pro point to get closer to Level 4. I am so tilted I don’t even want to play, but I strive on anyway. Wayne is playing what looked to be Five-Color Jund. Nothing notable happened in this match, as I resolved Cruel Ultimatum and he was mana screwed game 2.
However, when I sideboarded, I planned to bring in Celestial Purge and Thought Hemorrhage for Traumatic Visions and Terminate since that is how I was sideboarding against Jund all weekend. When I drew my opening hand, not only did it have a Terminate, but a Traumatic Visions as well. That’s right – I brought out my board cards, took out the maindeck cards, shuffled back in the maindeck cards, and put the board cards back in my deckbox by accident. Is it any surprise that I did so poorly at this tournament?
1-4
Drafting was uneventful. I opened a Martial Coup and a Dragon Broodmother. I was five-color and my deck was pretty good. I cast Martial Coup for six twice in the six games I played, and lost both of those games. I dropped from the tournament at a healthy 2-5, and was glad to call it a day.
Truthfully, there was very little chance of me doing well at this Pro Tour. I didn’t like any of the decks, and hated the format. I am a player who has to enjoy what he is doing to do well in any given tournament. This is a reason I play Kithkin at every tournament and do fairly well with it; I enjoy playing it. I hated every minute of playing that Five-Color deck, and as a result did poorly because my heart just wasn’t in it. I didn’t like any of the cards, didn’t like how the deck played or what it was trying to accomplish, and even though I’m positive my decklist was good for the tournament, I didn’t have the slightest idea how to sideboard, or even what land to play first.
An aside about this Block Constructed format. It is terrible. I am glad I never have to play it again, and I’m ecstatic that it isn’t a Pro Tour Qualifier format. Cascade is a pretty bad mechanic, and makes the games far too random. There are some games where your opponent will cast Enlisted Wurm, and there are other games where your opponent will cast Enlisted Ultimatum:
Enlisted Ultimatum
4GW
Put a 5/5 green and white wurm token into play, then deal four damage to target creature, then put a 3/2 green and red elf token with haste into play, then destroy target nonland permanent and each permanent with the same name.
If this were a card, would it be banned?
The fact that this can actually happen is really stupid. You can playtest for hours upon hours and there isn’t a thing you can do about this if it happens. I guess you can make the same argument for mana screw/mana flood, but I feel like this is different.
Normally I am not one to complain about what R&D do, because they have been at this for years. They have done so many good things for Magic and they rarely make mistakes. Everyone always gets in an uproar about abc and xyz when R&D bring something new to the table, but it always ends up just fine. Personally, I am simply not a fan of the Powers That Be taking the skill out of the game, and I honestly believe that that is what cascade does. When every bad beat story is, ” My opponent cast X spell with cascade and cascaded into X, and I lost.” we have a problem on our hands. There is a reason that the Top 8 of Pro Tour: Honolulu was draft.
Saturday, June 6
I wake up to play a PTQ with Kithkin:
4 Figure of Destiny
4 Goldmeadow Stalwart
4 Knight of Meadowgrain
4 Wizened Cenn
4 Cloudgoat Ranger
4 Path to Exile
4 Glorious Anthem
4 Spectral Procession
3 Ajani Goldmane
17 Plains
4 Windbrisk Heights
2 Mutavault
2 Rustic Clachan
Sideboard
4 Forge[/author]-Tender”]Burrenton [author name="Forge"]Forge[/author]-Tender
4 Ethersworn Canonist
4 Stillmoon Cavalier
3 Reveillark
My sideboard was thrown together hastily, as I had no idea what I wanted to sideboard for the tournament because I didn’t have a good read on what people would be playing. I’m not going to go very in-depth into the games, because I don’t remember them all that much. I went 3-2-drop, beating BW Tokens, W/b Kithkin, and Five-Color Bloodbraid, and losing to UW Reveillark and BG Elves.
My loss to Reveillark was obvious, as that matchup is atrocious, but my loss to BG Elves was due to me mulliganing to six game 1 and five game 2, and my opponent having numerous Imperious Perfects. I don’t blame the loss to Elves on mulliganing, so much as Imperious Perfect is a huge problem for Kithkin. Before, it didn’t matter because you could swarm Elves well enough with Spectral Procession. Now that Elves has access to Maelstrom Pulse, the combination of the two is a nightmare, and seems really hard to beat unless I am on the play and start quickly.
Sunday, July 7
I join the draft challenge and draft a pretty sick RGw deck. However, I decide to throw away my first round match by forgetting to put counters on my Retaliator Griffin so that I can kill my opponent with Soul’s Fire. Sure, there is an excuse as to why I forgot to add said counters (I had to call a judge to see what Glassdust Hulk did, because I didn’t want to read the one on the table to tip off my opponent that he was missing the interaction with Thopter Foundry and should have had me dead two turns ago) but, in the end, excuses are useless. I forgot the counters, so I deserved the loss.
As you can see, this weekend didn’t really go as planned. I was playing pretty sound Magic before this tournament, but I didn’t have my A-Game when I needed it most. I have no one to blame but myself, and I know that I need to work even harder if I want to obtain my goal of Level 6 this season.
I had a ton of fun in Honolulu and I recommend hitting there, and Seattle, if given the chance. Both places are amazing!
Next week, we will talk about my performance at the StarCityGames.com $5000 Standard Open in Atlanta, and the PTQ the next day; why Brian Kibler could never look as good as me in a suit; why the new rules changes don’t matter because everyone is going to keep playing anyway; and so much more!
Teaser Alert!
“Our goal this time was much more subtle – to change the most unintuitive parts of game play such that players’ first instincts were more often correct.”
Translation: We don’t want players to think. Just do what you think is correct, and it probably will be.
“Because Magic is a game most often played without access to a rulebook.”
Translation: Those of you who read a rulebook before learning how to play any game? You are stupid.
“In 99.9% of Magic games, of course, you’ll never even notice mana burn is gone.”
Question: If we won’t notice that mana burn is gone, why does it need to leave?
I’ll be a little more controversial next week…