I’m a man primarily known for my tournament reports. It’s what I enjoy writing the most, and I know that they’re my best articles. My performance at Kyoto and subsequent tournament report is what put me on the map at this here website, but my proudest tournament report was my Pro Tour Amsterdam report. The reason for that isn’t because of my finish (finishing dead last is never fun), but because it’s an article that I can’t believe I actually wrote. I read it often and still laugh at some of the stuff I put in there. The article was inspired by Ffej, and while I’ll never be half the writer he is, it sure was fun trying.
But this story I’m about to tell is one that many don’t know. This is the tournament that got me addicted to competitive Magic.
This is the report of Grand Prix Cleveland circa 2002.
Let me set the scene.
The format:
Odyssey Block Constructed
The decks to beat:
Spells (30)
Spells (25)
Creatures (26)
- 4 Anurid Brushhopper
- 4 Wild Mongrel
- 4 Arrogant Wurm
- 4 Basking Rootwalla
- 4 Glory
- 2 Phantom Centaur
- 4 Spurnmage Advocate
Lands (24)
Spells (10)
Lands (25)
Spells (35)
- 4 Chainer's Edict
- 3 Upheaval
- 3 Zombie Infestation
- 4 Standstill
- 2 Skeletal Scrying
- 4 Circular Logic
- 2 Cunning Wish
- 4 Innocent Blood
- 4 Aether Burst
- 2 Envelop
- 3 Deep Analysis
Sideboard
Some notes about the format:
1.) U/G Madness/Speculation was the deck to beat. It had the best most broken draw in the format (Careful Study + Basking Rootwalla(s), Wild Mongrel + Arrogant Wurm/Circular Logic/Roar of the Wurm). The problem was the mana. Odyssey Block didn’t have access to Yavimaya Coast or City of Brass, so drawing all Islands or Forests was a very real possibility. However, U/G Madness had Jund syndrome in that it could be operated by a complete moron and still draw perfectly and relentlessly crush its opponent. It was much harder to play than Jund, but it still had unbeatable nut draws.
2.) Mono-Black Control was the other deck to beat. For those of you who always try to build Mono-Black Control when a new set comes out, the Mad Russian’s deck is what you should be looking to achieve. Sadly you’ll never accomplish that because Cabal Coffers is never coming back. The only way Mono-Black Control will ever be as dominant as it was back in 2002-2003 is if R&D decide to
print a black-based set because black was so underpowered that they had to dedicate an entire set to it to catch it back up with everything else.
That isn’t going to happen,
so for the love of God,
stop trying to make fetch happen.
3.) UZI is still one of the best deck names of all time. UZI = Upheaval + Zombie Infestation.
4.) Red was an unplayable color in this Odyssey Block Constructed. It had nothing respectable to sleeve up and was dismissed by the entire deckbuilding and writing community.
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Who I was at the time:
16-year-old youngster with very limited access to the internet. The only internet I had access to was down the street at my best friend’s house or on my father’s computer that he used for work. Rarely was I allowed to use the computer to check for Magic information, as my parents felt that Magic was a game I got to play for fun but not much else, but my father understood my passion for the game. My father, much like myself, is both awesome and a dork. He currently owns over 10,000 comic books, so he understood my obsession with dorky stuff.
I played at the local shop in Strongsville, Ohio, called Ground Zero Comics. It’s still the best card store I’ve ever been to and probably will ever go to. Maybe it’s the nostalgia. Maybe it’s because it’s what I called home every day after school. Maybe it’s because the owner, Marcus Benn, was the coolest guy ever to a bunch of 16-year-old nitwits who wanted to get good at Magic. But I’ll defend that store as the best card store ever until the day I die.
I wasn’t much different then than I am right now. I didn’t like to play the best deck then, and I don’t like to play the best deck now. I love beating the best deck(s) by being more prepared and thinking outside the box. Sometimes this leads to success and sometimes it leads to failure, but I’ll always do things my way and be comfortable with the decisions I make.
Basically, there was no way I was going to play U/G
anything
or Mono-Black Control.
Everyone said red was unplayable eh? I beg to differ!
Creatures (19)
Lands (22)
Spells (19)
Sideboard
My thought process:
Besides the fact that I was sixteen? I wanted to be a world-beater! I wanted to prove to everyone that red was playable and that they were going about it the wrong way. The lists that I saw were trying to Madness out Arrogant Wurm, Violent Eruption, and Fiery Temper with very little success because there wasn’t a good discard outlet throughout green and red besides Wild Mongrel. I tried a different approach, and after some games with my friends at the store, I was convinced I was going to win my hometown Grand Prix.
Who cares if I didn’t know any better! I was sixteen, baby. Dreams can’t be crushed at sixteen!
Why I included the cards that I did (through the eyes of a sixteen-year-old):
Sylvan Safekeeper – Fuels Grim Lavamancer and made some of Mono-Black’s removal terrible.
Wild Mongrel – The best creature in Magic at the time. I’d be foolish not to play it
Browbeat – A no-win decision for the opponent. Why weren’t more people playing this card?!
Reckless Charge – It’s like a Lightning Bolt. I was on the fence about playing it, but it seemed pretty sweet.
Jeska, Warrior Adept – It one-ups Arrogant Wurm. I get to stack first-strike damage and then shoot it down! And when I’m not doing that, I get to ding them for one or kill their Basking Rootwalla.
Phantom Centaur – Suck on this Mono-Black!
Flaming Gambit — Mono-Black doesn’t have any creatures. It’s a Fireball with flashback!
Flash of Defiance – A way to finish off G/W Madness. Sweet!
Flaring Pain – Moment’s Peace is going to be played by the pros. I’ll teach them a lesson they’ll never forget!
Price of Glory – I have no idea, but it seems pretty good.
Why I included the cards that I did (through the eyes of a 24-year-old):
Sylvan Safekeeper – It fuels Grim Lavamancer, but all of Mono-Black’s removal was non-targeted. Awkward…
Wild Mongrel – Got this one right.
Browbeat – If there are no good cards in your deck, what does it matter if you draw three more of them? The best part is that every opponent got this decision wrong during the Grand Prix.
Reckless Charge – The best card in my deck hands down.
Jeska, Warrior Adept – If they had Wonder in their graveyard, this plan wasn’t too good. Turns out everyone with a functioning brain played four Wonders.
Phantom Centaur – Again, all of their removal that was relevant was non-targeted.
Flaming Gambit – Actually was double Fireball against Mono-Black Control.
Flash of Defiance – Completely insane.
Flaring Pain – LOL at me. Trying to teach people lessons. What the hell was wrong with me!?
Price of Glory – I played the GP with a twelve-card sideboard. Well played all around.
In the Grand Prix Trial I played Friday night after school; I had Lava Blister in my sideboard. I tried to Lava Blister a Cabal Coffers, but my opponent casually, confidently, and professionally paid six life and continued kicking my @$$. It was then that an acquaintance (and now my best friend) Joseph Gagliardi, Mike Aten, Tim Aten, and some others from the rival shop in Cleveland (Compendium or SS for those in the know) had a chat with me:
Joe: Lava Blister isn’t gonna get it done. Perhaps you should try Phantom Centaur?
Tim: Yea like, play some real cards bro. Psht!
Mike: I am the biggest idiot that walks planet Earth. No one likes me. The truth is that I don’t even like myself.
Ced: C’mon Mike, that can’t be true.
Mike: /slaps my deck out of my hand and jumps up and down on the de-sleeved cards. I am a giant
jerk,
too. Cut Lava Blister you f*cking idiot!
Joe: That was a bit much…
Tim: No kidding…
End Scene
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My deck for round 1 was the finished product above. I certainly had no byes, as I was a complete doofus and didn’t realize that my rating meant anything at that point in time.
Rd 1 vs. U/G Madness
Coming into the tournament, I thought my U/G Madness matchup wasn’t just good. I thought it was
very good.
Then my opponent did the following:
Turn 1: Island, Careful Study discarding two Basking Rootwallas
Turn 2: Forest, Wild Mongrel
Turn 3: Forest, Attack with the team and Madness in Arrogant Wurm
Turn 4: Yavimaya Coast, discard Roar of the Wurm, flashback Roar of the Wurm
1-0
Wait did you miss it?
Turn 4: Yavimaya Coast, discard Roar of the Wurm, flashback Roar of the Wurm
I’m sorry, but Yavimaya Coast isn’t a legal card in Odyssey Block Constructed. And the judge I called agreed. What a mize!
Rd 2 vs. U/G Madness
Ah yes, U/G Madness again. And the same start that happened last time happened again game 1 of this match:
Turn 1: Island, Careful Study discarding two Basking Rootwallas
Turn 2: Forest, Wild Mongrel
Turn 3: Forest, Attack with the team and Madness in Arrogant Wurm
Turn 4: Island, discard Roar of the Wurm, flashback Roar of the Wurm
Except there was no Yavimaya Coast. Sweet Christ, how was I going to win?
A judge came over. The same judge from last time. I didn’t even call him over. He wanted to have a word with my opponent. Perhaps it was about the unrelenting ass-kicking he was giving me?
His decklist is filled out incorrectly you say? So he gets a match loss now, and I escape the jaws of defeat? Well I don’t mind if I do!
2-0
Yes, this all actually happened!
Rd 3 vs. U/W Punisher
There was a U/W aggro deck built by some foreigners that contained Battle Screech. It destroyed me.
2-1
Rd 5. vs. Who knows/cares
Turn 3, I cast Browbeat. He took five.
Turn 4, I cast Browbeat. He took five.
Turn 5, I cast Browbeat. He took five.
Turn 6, I cast Browbeat. I drew three and killed him with three Firebolts.
Rd 7 vs. Alex Shvartsman
I was X-1 at this point and terrified. I’d heard of Alex Shvartsman via the internet but had never seen him before. He was way better than I was. I didn’t give myself much of a chance.
He was playing Mono-Black Control, so I ended up winning fairly easily. It turns out that a sorcery-speed removal deck isn’t a big fan of Elephant Guide, Reckless Charge, Call of the Herd, Phantom Centaur, or Flaming Gambit. Imagine that.
6-1
Rd 8 vs. Adam Prosak
A name you all should know! I didn’t know Adam then, but we were both so happy we had the chance to draw into Day 2 that we immediately took it. This was back in the day when you could miss Day 2 of a GP if you had no byes and went X-2. We were both too happy and too scared to risk it, so we drew, high-fived each other and rode our unicorns home. In that moment, the world was perfect.
6-1-1 and into Day 2!
I was on top of the world. Day 2 of my very first Grand Prix in my hometown? Life couldn’t get any better. I decided it was time to play more Magic! There was a dual-land tournament, and I had a pretty sweet Standard deck, so I was going to keep right on playing. Forget sleeping for Day 2! There was more winning to be done!
I ended up playing deep into the night, making a bunch of mistakes in the match that mattered, and not winning. Shocking…
The clock struck 4 am. Joe, Mike, and Tim were still at the site, and I didn’t have a ride home. They packed me into their car and drove me back to my pad. I got home around 4:30 am, set my alarm clock for 7:30 am, and passed out.
The next morning, I woke to my mother coming into my room:
Mom: Hey Ced. Your friend Adam is on the phone.
Me: What does he want?
Mom: He says you’re supposed to be at that tournament you were at yesterday? Round 1 started already, and you’re not there? Any idea what he means?
F*****************************************************CK!
Ya know that feeling ya get when you’re running late? The feeling Conley Woods got in Amsterdam. The feeling I got at Worlds when the bus was behind schedule. That panic? Well it was here, and it came in a big way.
I ran downstairs to my dad.
Me: We need to go to the IX Center
right now!
Dad: What’s going on?
Me: Tournament. I’m supposed to be there. I screwed up!
Dad: Got your stuff?
Me: Yeah
Dad: Faye, I’ll be right back
If you MapQuest my house (20805 Burgandy Drive, Strongsville Ohio) to the IX Center (6200 Riverside Dr, Cleveland, OH) the amount of time it takes to get there is 21 minutes. 21 minutes is dead on. I’ve made that drive a million times, and it takes exactly that amount of time to get there.
My dad got me there in nine.
And when I got out of the car?
Dad: Go in there, and kick some ass.
I ran through the doors with terrible R/G deck in hand hoping I hadn’t been dropped. The judges said they didn’t drop me, but I forfeited the last round, and if I missed another, I’d certainly be dropped from the tournament.
It was time to get down to business!
Rd 10 vs. B/G Braids/Genesis
This B/G Braids, Cabal Minion + Genesis deck had a lot of discard and Rancid Earth to stunt mana. I remember being down a game and getting myself Braids, Cabal Minion locked game 2. I kept playing the game out because I was taught to never concede. My training paid off as my opponent eventually missed a Braids, Cabal Minion activation. I called a judge over because that’s what you were supposed to do if a Braids trigger was missed.
Judge: It’s a game loss.
Me: /speechless
Opponent: Furious… at himself.
He was so mad that he’d forgotten the stupid trigger. He had Genesis and Braids, Cabal Minion going so there was certainly nothing I could do to escape as he pecked me for two damage every turn. He kept saying under his breath how dumb he felt and reached for the match slip. He signed it 2-1 in my favor, stood up with his friends and started yelling at them and himself. The scene was absurd. Words cannot explain his anger. Trust me.
I sat there for a minute and thanked God for how lucky I’d just gotten. I had one out, and I managed to hit it. Then I took a deep breath, stood up, and went to hand the match slip in. It was then that it hit me.
That was only Game 2.
He won Game 1!
The dude was long gone. What was I supposed to do? I told the judge what happened, and the judge said that match result slips were final. There was nothing he could do.
Is this real?
7-2-1
Rd 11 vs. Matt Rubin
Another pro. I was awestruck. I’d heard of Matt Rubin, and I knew he was good. Unfortunately for Matt, he was playing Mono-Black Control. I crushed him in comical fashion.
8-2-1
Rd 12 vs. Ben Stark
Another pro. Another Mono-Black Control deck. The difference between my match with Matt and Ben is that Ben was unbelievably friendly. Not to say that Matt was unfriendly, because he wasn’t, but if you’ve ever met or played against Ben, you know that he is a naturally nice person. I was intimidated by Ben’s reputation, and he told me not to be nervous at the beginning of our match. Whenever he Diabolic Tutored, he asked me what I thought he was getting, and if I was right, he’d show it to me. It was a good-natured match, but it was one Ben couldn’t win. He complimented me on my deck after I won and wished me luck.
Not much has changed about BenS. I think that’s a good thing.
9-2-1
Rd 13 vs. Eugene Harvey
Another pro! This match wasn’t for Top 8, but at the time I thought it was. I didn’t know anything about tiebreakers at the time, but my friends all told me if I won, I was going to make Top 8!
Eugene was playing some sort of Mirari’s Wake deck with Burning Wish for such hits as Time Stretch, Kirtar’s Wrath, and Firecat Blitz.
I remember losing game 1, but not really sure how. Game 2 is less hazy because I remember killing him in response to a Time Stretch by sacrificing lands to Sylvan Safekeeper to power up Grim Lavamancer. Game 3 is the one I remember the most.
I had Eugene on the ropes. I had just Flaring Pained a Moment’s Peace, and it was looking like he was going to die the next turn. I especially remember him being surprised I had Flaring Pain which made me feel better about the situation. He didn’t have very many cards left in his hand, and I remember having a Flaming Gambit in hand in case he had a crazy creature to play.
He drew his card, cracked a smile, and cast a Time Stretch. Two turns of fun later, and I was staring down six Wurms from a Crush of Wurms + Mirari activation.
Now I’m not sure if he topdecked it or not, but when you’re sixteen, “a win away from Top 8,” and have a Flaring Pain in the graveyard for the Moment’s Peace in his graveyard, it sure as hell feels like he peeled it. Lord knows I didn’t know any better.
9-3-1
Rd 14 vs. G/W Madness
I remember one thing about this match. My opponent said “You’re not gonna like this!” before he flashbacked Roar of the Wurm and left blockers back to ensure he didn’t die the next turn while being able to kill me with Glory the following turn.
I drew my card for the turn, put a smUG sixteen-year-old, sh*t-eating grin on my face and said, “You’re not going to like this!” as I tapped two mana, windmill-slammed Flash of Defiance on the board and killed him for exactsies. I then pointed to his tapped Wild Mongrel and said “I probably wouldn’t have attacked with that,” signed the slip and walked away triumphant.
I knew I was a smartass, but from the age of sixteen? Really?
10-3-1 20th place
Red was so unplayable in Odyssey Block Constructed that Matt Cavotta was giving a piece of original artwork to the person who finished the highest with red cards in his/her deck. When I found out I finished in twentieth place, my friends assured me that I had won. Who was psycho enough to play red at this tournament, let alone do well with it?
Matt Schmaltz was. He got nineteenth.
If that doesn’t sum up my Magic career, nothing will. I’ve always been close but never quite close enough.
And that, ladies and gentleman, is how I got addicted to competitive Magic.