It was the aftermath of PT: London. I’d placed an uninspiring 3-3 record, mirroring my performance in my previous two tours. I stood, pint in hand, as my Magic-naive brother barraged Teddy Cardgame with questions.
"Ted," he asked, slurring slightly, "Is Craig any good at Magic?"
Ted paused, a little too long.
"He could be," came the reply, which is of course a fancy way of saying “No.”
Here we cut to a few weeks later. English Nationals fast approached, and I’ve donned my Practicing Hat. Tooth, Red, Erayo Affinity, Beacon Green, Mono-Blue… each match-up was tested to oblivion. I even worked on a metagame-breaking deck of my own creation, an Ogre/O-Naginata Suicide Black Type Two build I cleverly dubbed “Black Fist,” only to find that while it annihilated Tooth and Nail, it lost to every other deck on the planet.
Eventually, I chose to run with Tooth and Nail. I’ll get to the build in due time, but first a little reasoning behind my weapon of choice…
Firstly, I believed it to be the best deck in the field. It won the Greek Nationals, and the Italian, and the French. Results like that cannot be ignored.
Second, it’s still a blast to play. Ramping to Insano-Mana, tapping it all for some hideously large effects, getting to say the words “Kiki-Jiki”… it’s all good.
Third, and most importantly, I got the Fear.
A Note on The Fear.
In testing, my team-mate Matt Harper ran with the Red Deck. It was a similar build to the one that placed 3rd at French Nationals, making room for Molten Rain in the maindeck. I myself made a gauntlet copy of the French build, and ran it against Tooth and Nail again and again.
Traditionally, I’m a lover of the Red spells. My only decent PT outing, Houston in 2003, saw me place 30th with the then-unheard-of Red Deck Wins. Indeed, whenever I show for a Constructed event, the first question on everyone’s lips is "how many Mountains are you playing today?" Yes, I’m an ordained Minister in the High Church of Paskins… and yet during my testing, I hated the Red deck.
It seemed to display all the hallmarks of Red decks past… an explosive and unbeatable God-draw, powerful utility creatures and a heavy dose of direct damage. But it also displayed the failings of Red decks past… inevitable defeat in the long game, susceptibility to sideboard hatred, and draws which coughed up mana source upon mana source leaving you dead in a ditch with your opponent on twenty life.
After last year’s Nationals, in which the Goblins leapt up and bit me in the arse, I just couldn’t face it. Despite arguments from my team-mates, I forsook the Mountain for the Forest.
Here is my decklist. Take note, I’ll be asking questions later.
Tooth and Nail
Maindeck
1 Kiki-Jiki Mirror-Breaker
4 Sensei’s Divining Top
1 Okina, Temple to the Grandfathers
1 Boseju, Who Shelters All
7 Forest
4 Urza’s Tower
4 Urza’s Power Plant
4 Urza’s Mine
Sideboard
1 Plains
3 Worship
Before we dive into the stagnant lake of match reporting, a few words on my various choices:
a) I took, as a base, the list that won the French Nationals. If it’s good enough to take the crown there, it has obvious merit.
b) I decided to drop the Viridian Shamans, as they appeared less than stellar in most matchups. Sure, they were good against Erayo Affinity, but often too slow. Yes, they did blocking duty in the Red matchup, and maybe took out a pesky Sword of Fire and Ice, but upping the Vine Trellis count to four and the Oblivion Stone count to three seemed the right thing to do. At first, the Sex Elves loved-up the sideboard, before hitting the showers completely.
c) How about that for an anti-Red sideboard? Troll Ascetic, Kodama of the North Tree, and feckin’ Worship. I tried the Sun Droplet plan at first, but found then next-to useless. Also, the untargetable guys seemed the value against Fractured Loyalty.
d) I steered clear of a full transformational sideboard, as making the sleekest combo deck in the format into just another random beatdeck did not feel strong. With any luck, my Red opponents would neglect LD spells in order to combat the massive creatures they perceived to be threatening.
In total, three members of Team Leeds would be gracing the golden fields of Donnington Park for the English Nationals. We had three grindlings, but none managed to climb that final hill to glory.
Craig Smith, who goes to great lengths to inform MTGO players that despite sporting the name CraigS he is not me, tested Rats and Beacon Green for days before binning the lot on the morning of the event and playing a Red-Green abortion called “Hostile Witness.”
Matt Harper went with the Red deck. The deck I hated playing.
And so, after a two-hour drive and an overpriced coffee, it was time to shuffle up and play.
Round One: Chris Stocking, playing the Red Deck.
I sit opposite Chris. He’s a smiley man, friendly and ready to chat. As with each and every match, I win the roll and opted to play.
I lead with Urza piece, playing Sensei’s Divining Top. In my hand, some accelerants and little else. Not a shocking hand by any means, just lacking a little gas.
Chris draws a card, lays a mountain. My game-plan becomes clear: cast Tooth and Nail as quickly as damn possible, or die to the red spells.
Thankfully, my turn 2 Vine Trellis seems to have value. Indeed, after sending a Shock to my face, Chris’s turn 2 Slith Firewalker stays at home. I feel safe, as few of the Red Decks pack Volcanic Hammer these days, relying on burn that does either two or five damage. Chris’s next turn, I block the Slith with the Trellis like a brave little soldier.
Tap two, Volcanic Hammer. The Trellis hitches home.
Still, it’s far from over. After taking minimal beatage from the Slith, I accelerate some more with a Sakura-Tribe Elder. I know I can make the Tron the following turn and clear the board with an Oblivion Stone. Chris makes Zo-Zu the Punisher before attacking, yet the super-monkey Elder sticks around to deny the Slith another counter. The land count grows, the life-score diminishes.
Untap, draw, make the Urzatron (taking two from Zo-Zu). Lay down the O-Stone, with mana to boom, and pass the turn.
Sure enough, Chris swings and the World disappears. He makes a land, and casts the card that would eventually spell my doom… Jinxed Choker. Something I’d not tested against, perhaps foolishly. I read the card, and scream at my lack of patience (and Viridian Shaman).
Frantically, I begin scrabbling for the Tooth and Nail, for the Oblivion Stone, for the Eternal Witness, for anything. I remove all the counters I can, while Chris takes the damage and makes monsters. Eventually, I draw the Tooth and Nail, but it’s too late to save myself from choking to death.
I’m one-nil down in my first match. Not to worry, I tell myself. I have the Sideboard from Hell against those pesky Red Mages. Let’s see how they handle the Troll Ascetic/Worship combo.
As we shuffle up, I make with the funnee.
“So, Chris Stocking,” I say, pregnant with intent. “Chris… Stocking.”
“Yup,” he says, looking a little dejected. He’d heard it before, it was obvious… but I carry on grimly.
“So, like, is your middle name ‘Mas’ or something?”
“Yay!” he says, raising a weak smile.
“I bet you’ve heard that before,” I say.
“Yes,” he says, without a trace of humor.
I tell him that my middle name is Ewaigy (as in Craig Ewaigy Stevenson), but he ignores me.
Game two, my hand has none of the sideboard lovin’, but a grand chance of making a superfast Tron and Tooth. I keep, make Tower/Top, and pass the turn.
Mountain, Mox, Firewalker, swing.
No matter. I make a land, fetch another puzzle-piece with a Sylvan Scrying, and pass the turn.
Mountain, Molten Rain, swing.
The beats keep coming, and my life keeps dropping. I cast Reap and Sow to assemble the full Urzatron, knowing I’ll be dropping to four life after the resultant swing from Chris. Unavoidable, but at least he’d be down to a single card when I cast Tooth and clear the board.
Chris swings me down to four, and passes the turn, grimly clutching his remaining card. Maybe, just maybe…
I make with the Tooth, entwining the Nail to slap down a Mephidross Vampire and a Triskelion. A little judicious pingage, and the board is clear. I pass the turn with my fingers crossed.
At the end of my turn, my opponent uses his last card to send a Magma Jet to my face, reducing me to two. Chris scryes and cries, depositing both cards on the bottom of his library. Then he untaps, draws a card, and Magma Jets me into the loser’s bracket.
Score: 0-1 (0-2)
Chris was a touch lucky with his godly start and excellent rippage skills, but I couldn’t complain. Four life is a terrible position for those facing down the Red Machine, and Chris had manoeuvred me there with skill. He had a number of outs against me in that position, and I suspect that I needed to be the lucky one to wrench that particular game from the flame. Where in God’s name were my bloody Worships?
English Nationals 2005, and I’m 0-1. Nothing to worry about… but still a little concerning. In the first game, my lack of maindeck artifact spot-removal proved to be a worry… would I rue the loss of my Sex Elves?
My team-mate Matt was 1-0 with the Red Deck. The deck I maybe should’ve picked up and played.
Round Two: Matt Babbcock, playing Tooth and Nail.
Matt is a youngish chap, with long dreading hair swept back in an alice-band. He looks remarkably like a twelve-year-old Nick West, but then again, Nick West looks like a twelve-year-old Nick West. Jesus, I’m getting old.
As we shuffle up, Matt informs me that this is only his third ever tournament. His first was a pre-release, his second was Regionals. And here he is.
Game one, I begin with strength: Tronnage, Top. Sadly, Matt follows suit. We spin the top for a turn, and I find acceleration. This leads to a turn 4 Plow Under on my opponent’s two Urzatron pieces. I follow this up with a turn 5 entwined Reap and Sow, and a turn 6 Eternal Witness and Plow Under. Things are looking good. All I need is a business spell. I spin the Top.
Land, land, shuffle effect.
Next turn, I use the shuffle effect, and try again.
Land, land, Plow Under.
Next turn, I plow my opponent’s land (who has yet to make the Tron, despite having everything he needs on various turns), and try again.
Nothing.
Zip.
Nada.
Eventually, the turn before Matt inevitably assembles his Tron, I hard-cast Sundering Titan to nuke his lone Forest. Hey, it’s a beatstick, yes?
Matt untaps, draws, makes his Tron and slips down a Duplicant.
Again I spin the top, praying for my only out (Oblivion Stone). Nothing. I’m forced to take seven. Matt then makes his own O-Stone, leaving me as tongue-tied as his sister Peggy. I know I’m screwed.
Next turn, the Top spits out an O-Stone of my own. I dig it up and play it, knowing the only thing that’ll fix this mess is if Matt makes a mistake. I blow my Stone, but Matt isn’t falling for it. He uses his own to give fate protection to his 7/10 Duplicant, and I die in short order. I’ve 25 cards left in my library, and all four Tooth and Nails reside in the bottom 10.
Of course, those 25 cards don’t contain a Duplicant of my own. Or any Viridian bloody Shamans. What the hell am I doing?
For game two, I bring in my Creeping Molds, and my Trolls to combat any transformational sideboard nonsense.
Again, I have the goods to speed up to an early Tooth and Nail. I’ve even the luxury of an early Reap and Sow to deprive my opponent of Mana. With a first turn Sensei’s Divining Top and three shuffle effects, it shouldn’t matter that the Tooth isn’t in my opening grip.
I Reap and Sow my opponent on turn 3, and assemble Tooth mana the following turn. My Top, however, decides that I can go f**k myself. Land, land, land… shuffle… land, land, land. Matt, without a Top and hindered by my early Reap shenanigans, casts Tooth and Nail with entwine on turn 6, and I’m officially an Ornithopter.
Score: 0-2 (0-4)
Things were not going to plan. I’d lost both matches thus far, matches I’d tested and in which I felt relatively confident. So far, it seemed that I’d read the metagame correctly, at least as far as my own matchups. So what was going wrong?
There were holes in my decklist, that much was obvious. The Viridian Shamans were sorely missed, and a Duplicant (at least in the sideboard) would have made a fine addition. It seemed that my twisting and tinkering had led me down a nasty back-alley peopled with gap-toothed thugs and cackling hags.
And Red, red, red… lovely red… it was doing so well. Oh mighty Mountain, was I wrong to have forsaken thee?
My team-mate Matt was 2-0 with the Red Deck. The deck I probably should’ve picked up and played.
Round Three: My Nemesis, playing White Weenie.
I slink my way toward table fifty-something. It was dark down there. Apparently, at the other end of the hall, some people were playing Magic. How nice for them.
Sadly, I forgot to take the name of my third-round foe. He was a nice guy, as most of my opponents seem to be. I think that’s probably because I have a friendly face.
If I may go tangential for a second… whenever I mingle with the great unwashed, be it to shop or sight-see or simple travel from A to B, I’m invariably the fella who gets accosted by the warbling tramp, or the shining fanatic, or the drug-addled psycho. I’m forever tailed by the weird and wonderful. My girlfriend tells me it’s because I smile a lot and seem approachable, but I think it’s because I exude insanity like so much Hai Karate. Whatever the reason, I appear to be a Mecca for those with no agenda.
I begin, as I have each game thus far, with Urza piece and Top. My opponent lays a Plains, and passes the turn. White Weenie, methinks. I’m proven right soon after, when he casts a main-phase Raise the Alarm during his second turn. These guys are boosted by the lilting chorus of a Glorious Anthem, but partially contained by my turn 2 Trellis.
More guys come down. More beats are dealt.
More land is fetched. More Tron is assembled.
Eventually, at a healthy seven life, I cast Tooth and Nail with entwine for Laurel and Hardy, the board-sweeping Triskelion and Mephidross Vampire.
While in the process of Wrathing his team (being a good boy and letting each ping resolve), my opponent telegraphs a Shining Shoal. With four Plains and a Blinkmoth Nexus, and holding two cards, I convince myself I need to be a little cagey in my play. Thus, when presented with the opportunity, I simply swing with the Mephidross Vampire.
“Ah well, you know I’ve got it,” he says, targeting the Vampire with the Shoal and taking me down to four life.
During my second main phase, I cast my second Tooth and Nail with entwine, fetching Little and Large a.k.a the Sundering Titan/Kiki-Jiki combo, and reduce his land count to one Plains and a Blinkmoth.
The following turn, my opponent has two cards. I nuke his remaining Plains, and swing with the team. I’ve got my first win on the board, and am feeling a little better.
Or am I?
My opponent smiles, and casts Shining Shoal for 4, revealing Hokori, Dust Drinker.
A.
Second.
Shoal.
And a four-mana guy.
I shake my head, and concede the game. How lucky!
NB: Yes, I know I played this one like a complete twit. I know I should’ve won this game a myriad of differing ways, on any of the three or four turns that led up to the second Shoal. Hell, I know I should’ve won this one on the very turn the second Shoal was played. But I bottled it. My head, and my arse, went. I saw the second Shoal, the red mist descended and I scooped up the cards. More on that later.
One-nil down, and I board in my Worships. And my Troll Ascetics. And my Kodama of the North Trees. I leave a couple of Teeth in the deck, as with a Worship down I still need to win, but I remove the Sundering Titan/Kiki-Jiki combo. Two Teeth should be fine, as the Worship will buy me ample time. And no-one boards in enchantment hate against Tooth and Nail. Even artifact hate is questionable, because if the Tooth player casts his signature spell, it’s usually Goodnight Irene.
Game two sees my first opening grip devoid of the marquee Top. However, I have land, creatures and two Worships. Things look good.
White Weenie screams across the table with its customary speed. My life takes a pounding, but I’m not worried. I drop an early Sakura-Tribe Elder, and fetch him back with an Eternal Witness. The following turn, I make Worship. The turn after, I make a Troll Ascetic. My opponent has laid down two Pithing Needles, naming Triskelion first and Troll Ascetic (in reaction to my 3/2 regenerator) second. I’m not worried. I’ve got this game in the bag. He takes me to the obligatory one life and lays a flier.
I untap, draw, make land, make some random dudes. I can take my time. I’m safe. In two or three turns, I’ll Tooth and Nail for the win.
My opponent untaps and draws a card. He looks at me with raised eyebrows. He almost looks afraid.
“I’m really really sorry about this,” he says.
Terashi’s Grasp.
Swing and a win.
I smile and shake my head. Today is just not my day.
As I sign the slip (after congratulating him, as I’m not a bad sport to people’s faces), I have to ask…
“Did you board in the Terashi’s Grasps?”
“Yes,” he replied, sounding sheepish.
“Can I ask why? Surely they’re sup-par against Tooth and Nail?”
“To be honest,” he said, lowering his head, “I’m running with three in the board, but I only brought in one.”
I stared at him.
“Just the one? Why?”
“Well, I had five cards to take out, but I could only find four to put back in. I just put the Grasp in at random.”
He paused, and had the good grace to look ashamed.
“I’m really sorry,” he said, sounding genuine. “That was a really bad beat.”
Yes, my friend.
Yes it was.
Score: 0-3 (0-6)
After three rounds of Constructed play, it was all over bar the shouting. Sure, if I won eight straight matches I could probably ID the ninth and find my way into the top eight… but I’m no Tomi Walamies. Traditionally, my Limited game has been my weakness (even though my Limited rating currently eclipses my Constructed counterpart by a clear one-hundred points). I gave it a go, of course, but it just wasn’t to be.
I’ll spare you the details, unless you clamour for them in the forums. Suffice to say, I finished the day out of contention.
It seems that Tooth and Nail was not the one for me. The deck itself didn’t perform to my expected standard, and as for my own play… I’ll analyse my performance in a moment, but suffice to say that, before the tournament, I didn’t realize it was possible to both suck and blow at the same time.
Matt went 3-0 with the Red deck. The deck I definitely should’ve picked up and played.
…
So, it’s time for the big question… What Went Wrong?
For starters, I mis-built the deck. Perhaps my most heinous crime in this area was removing the maindeck Viridian Shamans. I had a grim inkling that this was a patented Bad Idea, but the pull of the Undertoad isn’t always terminal. I closed my eyes, and bolted on regardless.
The deck was the wrong choice, for me at least. We know that the most powerful deck will come under the searing spotlight of hatred… we just hope it remains the most powerful in spite of this. As for me, the warning signs were there. In testing, Craig Smith pointed out that the Tooth deck was making me play with extreme timidity, which has never been my problem. If anything, I’m too reckless a player.
I was also intensely unlucky. I know that Bad Beat tales are largely boring, but my game two against White Weenie? That was savage. Of course, there’s a touch of Gadiel about such whining… I’ll leave it at that and address a far more pertinent problem:
I was f**king RUBBISH.
I played like a Muppet. And not a cool Muppet, like Fozzie or Gonzo. Not even one of the few decent new Muppets from Muppets Tonight. I played like one of the chorus Muppets, lurching in the background of the big-band finale, threadbare and overused, recognized but unheeded and unsung.
Taking the first game against White Weenie as an example, I could’ve killed my attacker in response to the Shining Shoal. Hell, the turn before I could’ve targeted my Mephidross Vampire with Kiki-Jiki and trod the path of the Infinite Ping. But no, I virtually gave my opponent the game through a combination of tawdry mis-plays and shocking oversights.
Facing facts… I didn’t deserve to do well.
I’ve a plan for improvement. As real-life playtesting can be sporadic at best, I’ve decided to invest some time (and limited resources) into improving my MTGO collection. The ability to play Constructed MTGO is largely denied to me at present, as I own exactly seventeen rare cards (but hey, one of them’s a Kiki-Jiki). I plan to expand my collection as and when, but sometimes the Green Mile is long.
I also plan to read more, and write more, and visit the forums (as both troll and contributor) much more often. My Sealed game improved dramatically during the Sealed Revealed series… what’s to say I can’t transfer that to other aspects of Magic?
But this is for the future. For the present, I must simply lick my wounds. I’ve a Block Constructed PTQ this weekend, and I’ll be back with tales from that no matter how I fare. I’ve a deck that crushes the Gifts Ungiven deck, with which I made a recent Semi-Final before falling in a close match to White Weenie, and I’ll be running with that. I’ll say more next week (partly because the deck is not of my own design, and partly because I need to throw it against some GP Taipei nonsense before I’ll be truly happy).
I’ll round this up with Matt’s Red Deck listing. It’s pretty generic, and I’m not pretending that it’s optimal… but it did him proud when the chips were down. Now if only the poor chap could draft… (hehe, only kidding fella).
No Messin’ Red
Maindeck
16 Mountain
Sideboard
2 Unforge
2 Shatter
1 Shivan Dragon (tech!)
At the end of Day One, I sat on a 3-4 record. Dejected, defeated, and despondent. According to Teddy Cardgame, I “could be good.” To be honest, at that particular moment, I found it hard to agree with his claim.
Craig Smith and I headed for the exit, and the long ride home, as the final round was grinding to a halt. As we wended our wearisome way, we passed a plasma-screen. It blared with the standings after Round Six.
At the head of the pack with a glorious eighteen points… the one and only Dan Paskins. I’ll leave him to spin the tale as only he can, but I still raised a smile. With Tooth and Nail, I felt I’d been royally bummed by Chinese tigers. But the Red guys, the glorious Red guys… they were doing Dan proud.
If that doesn’t tell you what to play, then nothing will.
Thanks for listening
Scouseboy on MTGO