Following up from the thinly-disguised space-filler from a couple of articles ago, I thought I’d throw in a few more ‘persons as Magic cards’ – you know the concept, I mean the title fair gives the game away, no?
Anyway – I know this is asking for trouble, but can anyone out there produce some decks that could break these cards wise open? Actually, the sillier the better!
Ok. Now that I’ve got that out in the open, I suppose you lot will be wanting some sort of prize?
Let me think about it…in the mean-time here are the guys:
Monica Lewinsky
1UW
Creature – Aide
1/2
W, Tap: Tap target creature with Power of 3 or more; that creature does not tap during their controllers next untap phase.
Gene Kelly
1WU
Creature – Screen Legend
1/4
Tap, Tap, Tappity-tappity Tap: Target creature gains Protection from Blue until end of turn
"Let the stormy clouds chase…"
Elizabeth Taylor
3WR
Creature – Deluded Old Hag
1/4
As long as there is another creature in play, Elizabeth Taylor thinks she is a Legend.
0: Elizabeth Taylor and one target creature you control gain Banding until end of turn; at end of turn, sacrifice the targeted creature.
"Let me whisper those three magic words in your ear: Pre Nuptial Agreement!"
Mike Long
B(Spell, Spell)B(Spell, Spell) etc
Creature – Playa
2/1
0: Mike Long becomes creature-type Scapegoat until end of turn.
0: Shuffle your deck or shuffle your opponent’s deck.
1: Mike Long cannot be the target of spells or abilities until end of turn; any player may play this ability.
1: Mike Long can be the target of spells or abilities until end of turn; any player may play this ability.
"Lady Luck? She moved into my apartment block last week and BOY! is she friendly!"
Madonna
1WW
Creature – Opportunist
1/1
1WW, Tap: Pick a target creature in play apart from Madonna; put a 0/1 Baby token in play under your control – the baby has all of the abilities and colours of the targeted creature.
"Like a virgin? Hardly!"
Jim Morrison
2BB
3/1
Creature – Misunderstood Icon Who Liked To Get His Knob Out
If Jim Morrison is in any graveyard at the end of a turn, all creatures in play must go visit him and leave messages all over the head-stone etc
Biggles
WW (Whiter than White)
Creature – Schoolboy Hero
2/1
W: Biggles gains flying until end of turn
(Not so) W: Biggles has a dubious relationship with his ‘chums’ Algy and Ginger until end of turn
"Bingo! Whizz-bang! Chocs Away!"
James Dean
1BW
Creature – Rebel Without A Cause
2/2
If James Dean is put into any graveyard from play, put posters of him on every student’s wall in perpetuity
Marilyn Monroe
1W
Creature – Goddess
1/1
If Marilyn Monroe is put into any graveyard from play, spend the next 25 years claiming she was murdered and her death faked to look like suicide etc etc ad infinitum
W, Tap: Destroy target Elton John record
"Boo boop-be-boop"
Omeed Dariani
2WR
Creature – Writer
2/4
Protection from Blues
0, Change the flavour text on target permanent to something more appropriate: Omeed Dariani gets +1/+0 until end of turn
"Shoulda been the flavour text on…"
Jamie Wakefield
GGGGGG
Creature – Icon
4/3
Ramble.
GGGGGG, Remove Jamie Wakefield from the game: Put an Asheron’s Call License into play – treat this as a 0/9 green creature that counts as a Wall with the ability: "Asheron’s Call License can block any number of creatures. Each creature blocked by Asheron’s Call License loses its statistics and abilities and becomes an Asheron’s Call License."
1G: Shuffle Jamie Wakefield into your library. You may only do this if Jamie Wakefield has been removed from the game during the current game, and only when Jamie Wakefield has been removed from the game.
"Yadda-yadda-yadda blah blah blah"
Bagpuss
WRWR etc
Creature – Saggy Old Cloth Cat (Baggy and a bit loose at the seams, but Emily loved him)
6/6
When Bagpuss becomes tapped, tap all other creatures that you control.
When Bagpuss becomes untapped, untap all other creatures you control.
"When Bagpuss goes to sleep, all his friends go to sleep"
Albert Einstein
3W
Creature – Genius
1/1
0, Tap, Remove Albert Einstein from the game: Take an extra turn before this one
"E=MC2"
Until the extendable pipe-rod of Life frees the unpleasant blockage in the sewer of Destiny…
Ciao babies,