{From Right Field is a column for Magic players on a budget or players who don’t want to play netdecks. The decks are designed to let the budget-conscious player be competitive in local, Saturday tournaments. They are not decks that will qualify a player for The Pro Tour. As such, the decks written about in this column are, almost by necessity, rogue decks. They contain, at most, eight to twelve rares. When they do contain rares, those cards will either be cheap rares or staples of which new players should be trying to collect a set of four, such as Wrath of God, City of Brass, or Birds of Paradise. The decks are also tested by the author, who isn’t very good at playing Magic. His playtest partners, however, are excellent. He will never claim that a deck has an 85% winning percentage against the entire field. He will also let you know when the decks are just plain lousy. Readers should never consider these decks "set in stone" or "done." If you think you can change some cards to make them better, well, you probably can, and the author encourages you to do so.}
Prologue: Any scientist or artist will tell you that it’s best to look at failures not as failures but as opportunities to learn. Thomas Edison used to say that, “I have not failed. I’ve just found ten thousand ways that won’t work.” This keeps you sane, especially when you know that you’re going to miss your goal a lot. The Wright Brothers, for example, didn’t just design some wings and a fuselage, load up the ol’ plane, head to North Carolina, and – Voila! – human flight. They spent many years and many crashes figuring out things like the wings needed to be flexible and that the pilot needed to be able to shape the wings during flight. There are a lot of failures in Magic, too.
Millstones and Dampened Thoughts
It should be obvious as you peruse my archive that I like decks that are different. Usually, that means playing beatdown decks or, at worst, aggro-control decks that feature few (if any) rares. Sometimes, it means doing something completely out of left field for me. For example, in December, I played a Millstone-type deck with Dampen Thoughts and Mesmeric Orbs, and did quite well. (Yeah, yeah, I know that Millstone decks aren’t new, but they make up such a small part of any given environment that we would say that they’re negligible.) I had a lot of help designing that deck from my friend Jeff Wiles.
Jeff has been playing Magic since about four hours after Dr. Garfield invented the thing. In every format, he tries to find a Millstone deck. When Odyssey block was Standard legal, he had a blast with his G/W Millstone deck thanks in large part to Dwell on the Past.
I wasn’t surprised, then, when I saw that Jeff Wiles had written a small piece on another web site that suggested using Dampen Thought with Ire of Kaminari for KBC. It was pure genius. Forget Milling the other guy. Mill yourself. Dump those Arcane cards into your graveyard, and cast a giant Ire of Kaminari for the win.
That deck, though, only featured Champions and Betrayers. I wanted to know what Jeff would add from Saviors. So, I e-mailed him. I didn’t hear back for a week or so. I e-mailed him again. No response. With the third e-mail, he sent back:
“What in the name of Roselyn Sanchez are you blathering about? I haven’t written an article since I did my last multi-player piece for StarCity back in Spring of 2002.”
I sent back an e-mail with the link. “Are you seriously trying to tell me that you didn’t write this piece about a Millstone-type deck? It’s your type of deck. It even has your name on it.”
Jeff replied, “That is scary in a Twilight Zone kind of way. I didn’t write that. The guy just has my name.”
Apparently, if your name is Jeff Wiles and you play Magic, you like Millstone decks.
There’s a Difference Between Being Alone and Being Lonely
I was on my own then. I don’t like being on my own. It’s lonely, and people look at you funny, especially at restaurants. It’s not so bad when it comes to Magic, though. I’m usually all alone out in right field anyway.
The first card that caught my eye was Murmurs from Beyond. It’s a three-mana, instant-timed card-drawing spell that gets you three cards into your deck and helps fill your graveyard. It’s like Thirst for Knowledge, but it’s common and Arcane. Boo-ya!
What’s Up with Your Capitalization? – Off-topic yet still relevant
People actually ask my why I capitalize certain words. For example, in the last paragraph, Arcane is capitalized. Oooo, there it is again! Why do I do that? Years ago, when I was in college and writing for a small, local paper that went under after a couple of years (not my fault), I learned a couple of things about writing on technical issues. The editor of the science section always capitalized terms of art. Those are terms that mean something specific to that field but which may have other meanings outside of that field. He did this to signify that the term being used was the arcane, term of art and not the mundane, common term. I liked that idea. Apparently, he’s not the only one. Our esteemed editor Ted Knutson requires that color and land names be capped, too. I do the rest because it seems right. There is a difference between First Strike and first strike. First Strike is a Magic term that means that creature deals all of its combat damage before creatures that don’t have First Strike deal theirs. The term first strike means a preemptive attack, typically in a military setting with connotations of nuclear arms being involved. Arcane is the same way. (I also take my e.e. cummings prerogative and capitalize other words that many people don’t. To me, the seasons are living entities unto themselves. I will always consider Spring and Fall the proper way to write those words because I consider them to be proper names. Besides, days of the week, like Thursday, are capitalized. What’s more important: Tuesday or Summer?)
End Grammar Lesson
I liked the idea of drawing cards and filling my ‘yard. I had actually been looking at the card as one for a KBC Reanimator deck that an acquaintance has been working on. (Sorry. Can’t divulge any more. I promised.) The applications to the Ire of Kaminari are obvious.
Aren’t they?
Believe it or not, I kinda missed that one. I was looking at Ideas Unbound for the Ire deck. Then, I got an e-mail from Andrew Oyen. He and a friend had built a KBC deck that had only one rare and no creatures. In fact, it’s even pretty short on uncommons. The rare is Mikokoro, Center of the Sea.
By the way, if you don’t have your four copies of that, I’d suggest getting them now. They are better than you’d ever expect. You think four’s too many because it’s Legendary? Trade one or two away. They’re gonna be hot.
This is the deck that Andrew sent me:
23 Land
1 Mikokoro, Center of the sea
9 Mountain
13 Island
0 Creatures
37 Spells
2 Spiraling Embers
4 Ire of Kaminari
4 Glacial Ray
4 Lava Spike
4 Reach Through Mists
4 Peer Through Depths
4 Murmurs from Beyond
4 Ideas Unbound
2 Consuming Vortex
2 Eye of Nowhere
3 Hinder
After seeing the list, the inclusion of Murmurs from Beyond became obvious in that “gee, now that you mention it, why, yes, Kelly Carlson is hot” kind of way. There is almost never a good pick they can make. Besides, the Murmurs end up in the ‘yard anyway, and it’s Arcane. Take this play that happened during my very first game of testing. At the end of my opponent’s third turn, I tapped out to play Murmurs. I had no other lands in hand. Murmurs turned up – in order – another Murmurs, Glacial Ray, and an Island. My opponent, of course, had no way to know that I had no other lands in hand. Even if he picked the land, though, I get another Murmur with which to dig. Who chooses a land to dump when that given your opponent business spells? Of course, if he picked either of the business spells, I had my fourth land and a Glacial Ray in hand. Plus, there was lots of other nastiness. As expected, he had me dump the Murmurs. Yes, more fuel for my Ire.
Heh. I like that. Maybe I’ll call the deck something like that.
I also wondered about the two-and-two split between Consuming Vortex and Eye of Nowhere. Typically, when you see that in a decklist it’s because the deckbuilder just couldn’t make up his or her mind and didn’t have time to test things out. Andrew and his friend had tested this, though, and had a good explanation. First, both can hit creatures, so no loss there. The Eye, though, is the only one that can hit, say, a Jitte. Why not run four Eyes then? The Eye costs double Blue and is a sorcery. Consuming Vortex, while limited to creatures, is an instant and can be Spliced onto Arcane spells. The Eye can’t. I tried it, and it worked well for me.
After playing a couple or four test games, though, I started running into a few problems with the deck. Mostly, it was the land mix. I kept getting too many Mountains. This deck likes double-Blue early. While double-Red early is nice for Splicing Glacial Ray onto Lava Spike, it isn’t as important to the deck to play that trick early. That’s good at pretty much any time. So, I did some tweaks, tested some, tweaked some more, later, rinse, repeat, and I ended up with:
Fuel for the Ire
23 Lands
3 Tendo Ice Bridge
1 Mikokoro, Center of the Sea
11 Island
1 Minamo, School at Water’s Edge
6 Mountain
1 Shinka, the Bloodsoaked Keep
0 Creatures
37 Other Spells
3 Sensei’s Divining Top
4 Reach Through Mists
4 Lava Spike
4 Glacial Ray
4 Ideas Unbound
2 Consuming Vortex
2 Eye of Nowhere
4 Murmurs from Beyond
3 Evermind
3 Hinder
4 Ire of Kaminari
I went with Evermind for two reasons. First, as nice as Peer Through Depths is, it gets one card. Evermind gets a card every time you Splice it. Second, it’s a new toy, and I wanna play with it!
Andre said that he had tried the Ice Bridges and didn’t like them. They colored-hosed him too much. While I didn’t have them online, I did some quick goldfishing with a paper version of the deck. I didn’t have any problem with colors using only three Bridges. Still, I could see going down to two.
If Arcane’s So Good, Why the Hinder?
Some spells have to be countered. For example, Cranial Extraction is extremely bad for this deck, especially if the caster knows to call “Ire of Kaminari.” Kodama of the North Tree is another. Once it hits, you can’t target it. That means you can’t bounce it.
What’s Up With You and the Legendary Lands That You Can’t Use?
Some folks have noticed that lately my decks have included a copy of a Legendary land from Champions even when I can’t use it. For example, in the Green/Red Fork You deck, I had Okina and Shinka even though the only Legendary creature in the deck, Kodama of the North Tree, can’t be the target of spells or abilities. Since these lands have none of the typical drawback of non-basic lands (e.g. they come into play tapped, hurt you, don’t untap, et al), they function as a Mountain or Forest. They also work as defense against an opponent who can use their Okina or Shinka. Remember the new Legend rule.
Luckily, other than the Ice Bridges and the Center of the Sea, I have all of these cards online. I loaded it up and played it. It took me two games to realize that I’d be playing this at our Friday night Magic tournament (not to be confused with Friday Night Magic, another of those arcane, terms of art).
Why?
Because, for the first time ever, I won a game with no cards left in my deck.
Here’s how it went down. Thanks to the massive card drawing of the deck, I was able to stay in the game for – obviously – a long time. I was, for example, picking off creatures with two Glacial Rays Spliced onto a Reach Through Mists. My opponent had gotten me down to four cards in my deck. I had three Ires in the graveyard. One had been cast early on to rid myself of some bothersome creature. The other two had been dumped off of Murmurs. I drew for the turn. It was Reach Through Mists. I had three cards left in my deck. I had two Everminds in hand. The fourth Ire had to be one of the three left. I cast the Reach, Splicing on both Everminds. With no cards in my deck, I cast Ire for, um, a lot. That was all I needed to tell me that this would be my deck for the week’s KBC tourney.
First, Though, Some Tips on Playing the Deck
Oh, geez, did you see that? Yup. That was yet another first-turn Lava Spike. Why do people do that? Folks, don’t cast Lava Spike on the first turn. In fact, you should try to never cast it without being able to Splice something onto it, unless, of course, it ends the game. It doesn’t matter when you do damage directly to your opponent. Three damage is three damage. So, why not wait until it can be five damage (Splicing on a Glacial Ray) or seven damage (two Rays) or three damage and a card (Evermind)?
Friday Night’s Just as Good as Saturday Night for Fighting
Once I was at the new venue, I waited a while for the other players to arrive. My pal Joe was the third man to get there, and we played a test game. He had his U/B Reanimator deck that I still won’t discuss. I beat him, and I was feeling good. I just adore winning with cheap, janky decks.
Then the tournament started.
I went on one of the worst losing streaks of my Magic “career.”
In round one, I played against Daniel Cooper and his Tallowisp deck. I knew what was in it because it looked almost exactly like the one I wrote about in last week’s piece. He even had main deck Masako, the Humorless. Way to go, boy-eeee!
I lost two games to none. Game one was close, but I just couldn’t cast the final Ire for enough to kill him. In game two, I simply got color hosed. I had nothing but Mountains and a Tendo Ice Bridge. Yes. Really. Even with all of those Islands and Minamo, School at Water’s Edge. It turns out that Tallowisp in and of itself is tough for this deck to deal with, regardless of whether the ‘Wisp ever gets your opponent an Enchant Creature card. That toughness of three is hard for this deck to deal with, given that Glacial Ray is the typical creature kill spell. (You don’t want to have to use Ire to kill creatures, but it happens.) This three-toughness problem will come up again, I assure you.
I got paired up against Joe in round two. As often happens, even though I beat him in testing, he clobbered me, zero to two, when it counted. This match was more about my deck not having the answers in terms of countermagic and bounce for all of the threats he had. Quash worked once on a Goryo’s Vengeance in game two, but that didn’t stop him from hard-casting some beefy nastiness. Too many threats + Not enough answers = Match to Joe.
Next up was Craig Wescoe. Given that my record against Craig is one win and the oh-my-gosh-you-have-got-to-be-kidding losses, I didn’t think this would be a win for me. I got one thing right that night. I did lose. Craig was playing that mono-Black Ogre-Demon deck. I gotta admit that I like that deck. It plays a lot of commons and uncommons, but even the rares are fairly cheap. It’s definitely my kinda deck. (Foreshadowing?) In game one, I got both color and total-amount-of-mana hosed. I was completely outclassed in game two as he hit me hard with Psychic Spear on turn 1, Distress on turn 2, Takenuma Bleeder on turn 3, and Yukora, the Prisoner on turn 4. I had no chance. Again, the three on the backend of the Bleeder and the Raving Oni-Slave were killers.
Now, before I continue, I don’t want anyone to think that I’m downplaying any of these players’ decks or abilities. It’s entirely possible that even with enough mana in the proper colors, I would have lost. My deck just made it easier.
I played Ed Greer in round four.
That’s right kids. I went on to round four even though I was 0-3 in matches and 0-6 in games. Ed obliged by helping me continue the streak with his own Ogre-Demon beats. He was aided and abetted by more color hosing in game one and lack of removal in game two.
The themes of the night were these. The colors in the deck are awful. There’s not enough removal for the fast beatdown decks in the environment. There’s not enough control for the combo decks.
Do you see how much I love you guys? I went 0-4 (0-8) just to test a deck for you. You’re welcome.
Post-Party Party
I was still wired when I got home. I made sure Luanne and the cats were all sleeping snuggly in my bed. (They were.) Then, I fired up my computer.
What had happened? I read Andrew’s e-mail again. Hmmmm . . . . I see where he specifically mentions not using Tendo Ice Bridge because it hurt him worse than it helped him. I looked back at my notes and noticed that much of the color hosing happened because I had to use an Ice Bridge early and then didn’t have enough colored mana later. All of the Splicing is very color intensive. Look at the five-mana play where you can cast Reach Through Mists while Splicing on Glacial Ray and Evermind. That costs 2UUR.
I popped onto Magic Online and fired up the deck sans Ice Bridges to see if earlier testing had been an anomaly or if the tournament was. I lost my next four matches, two to nothing. Now, I was on a mission. I was going to make this deck work.
The first thing I did was change around the lands, dropping a Mountain for an Island. (The online version without the Ice Bridge already had two Islands and one Mountain in those slots.) I lost three more matches but, thankfully, none were to color hosing. I surveyed the damage. What was the problem now? It seemed that the sorceries were making me tap out on my turn too much. I also didn’t have enough countermagic. Remember Kodama of the North Tree? If he hits early, this deck loses. He hit. A lot.
I dropped the Eyes for the final two Vortexes. I dropped Ideas Unbound for Hisoka’s Defiance. I lost three more matches, 2-0. When I looked up, it was after 3 A.M.
Uh-oh. Luanne was not gonna be happy if I was drag-azzin’ around the next day. I was sure that I had both landscaping and junk shopping chores even though I hadn’t been told about them at that time. I went to bed for my five hours of shut eye.
On Saturday afternoon (when Luanne had her nap; I wore her out), I tweaked the deck some more. I lost more matches. Sunday afternoon came, and I played more online. This time, my friend Bill Bryant was online. He suggested the Honden of Seeing Winds for the Everminds and the Honden of Infinite Rage for the Lava Spikes.
What? Drop the Lava Spikes? But, but, but, they enable Splicing! Turns out it was a good idea. I won my first match after that. From Friday night to Sunday afternoon, I was 1-33 in matches using some variation of the Fuel for the Ire deck. At the end of Sunday night, I was 3-47.
Conclusion: This Deck Bites
After fifty matches, four of which hammered my already pathetic rating, I can say conclusively that you should not play this deck. It loses to so many cards and strategies that it’s just not worth it. Here’s an incomplete list of problems:
Cranial Extraction naming Ire of Kaminari kills this deck;
Umezawa’s Jitte kills this deck;
Sosuke’s Summons kills this deck;
White Weenie rushes kill this deck;
Meloku kills this deck;
Red weenie rushes kill this deck;
Red direct damage kills this deck;
Kodama of the North Tree kills this deck; and
Lifegain kills this deck.
If you think you won’t be facing any of those cards or decks, the Ire deck might work. Otherwise, leave this at home for the casual games. Me, I’m ready for beatdown this week. I wanna cast guys and turn them sideways. I wanna deal damage in discrete packages related to combat, not twenty-four points with one spell. I wanna say “grrrrrr.”
As usual, you’ve been a great audience. Does anyone have any cocoa butter? I’ve been badly burned.
FromRightField-at-AOL-dot-com