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CASUAL FRIDAYS #127: Hall Of Fame Tour Guides: The Sailors, The Inventors, And The Farmers

Artifacts and blue get the look-see in the latest update of Anthony’s classic series!

I was really bummed to remember Karmic Justice after I sent out last week’s white article. A few readers had suggested it some weeks ago… But it got lost in the whirl of the complex dart-throwing – er, ranking – process that precedes Hall publication.

Anyhow, Karmic Justice is fairly terrific in multiplayer, with high”rattlesnake” element.

If you need a reminder on the animal elements… Go back and read the first few elements of the Hall. Other readers don’t want to go through it all over again.

Blue

If you’ve been keeping up with the series, you know that I’m describing each card with bad poetry. This color’s chosen poetic form is naani, which I learned while scrounging the Internet for poetry forms that weren’t as cute as buttons, or pretentious as English Lit majors (Whooooops!… Just lost part of my audience).

“Naani is one of the Indian popular Telugu poems. Naani means an expression of one and all. It consists of 4 lines, the total lines consists of 20 to 25 syllables. The poem is not bounded to a particular subject. Generally it depends upon human relations and current statements. It’s not necessary to follow the rules. This poetry was introduced by one of the renowned Telugu poets Dr. N. Gopi, presently working as vice-chancellor to Telugu University, Andhra Pradesh.”

Hmmm… That’s pretty pretentious. Well, here’s the example they give on the site:

In-between four walls

A loneliness with deep silence

Became paleness

When book accosts.

No, I don’t get it, either. But it’s mysterious, you waste time trying to get through it, you get annoyed quickly – and that pretty much captures blue in a nutshell. Plus, I don’t have to spend tons of time counting syllables so closely. That, my friends, was the clincher.

30. AMBASSADOR LAQUATUS

1UU, 1/3 Creature (Legend). 3: Put the top three cards of target player’s library into his or her graveyard.

Rattlesnake: Medium, increases with time

Gorilla: Low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Very low

Plankton: Low

Milling decks are better than ever in any environment. Given the amount of mana you can put out in a casual game, the fact that you have to plow through multiple players is barely a consideration. Drop the Ambassador late; no sense in getting him killed before you can sweep nine or more cards at a time.

When you can’t win

Another door appears.

As you push it open,

It shuts on your foes.

29. UNNATURAL SELECTION

1U Enchantment. 1: Choose a creature type other than Wall. Target creature becomes that type until end of turn.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Medium-low

Plankton: Low

A really funky card that hasn’t been around for long, but has spawned an entire branch of casual decks. How good does Shoreline Raider get with this thing?!?

Head of a legend,

Body of a rhino,

Tail of a scorpion,

It fears reflection.

28. BLIND SEER

2UU, 3/3 Creature (Legend). 1U: Target permanent or spell becomes the color of your choice.

Similar cards: Several blue cards through the ages change colors or cards that name colors. Closest to Blind Seer are two greatly inferior creatures, Tidal Visionary (creatures) and Vodalian Mystic (spells).

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Medium-low

Plankton: Low

Like Unnatural Selection, but perhaps more useful since color play has a more established history in Magic, so there are more tricks you can play. Everything from Perish to gating is game.

All of the colors

A blind man sees

Can banish a black knight

Or exile a white one.

27. PLAGARIZE

3U Instant. Until end of turn, whenever target player would draw a card, you draw a card instead.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Medium-high

Pigeon: Medium

Plankton: Low

Sure, it’s a chase rare; but it’s also going to have very specific trick applications in casual decks. Think of Prosperity, as well as a neat little artifact we’ll mention down below.

What we write once rich

Is very different

From what we write

As poor librarians.

26. STUPEFYING TOUCH

1U Creature Enchantment. When this comes into play, draw a card. Enchanted creature may not play activated abilities.

Rattlesnake: Medium-low

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Medium-low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium-high

The number of creatures using activated abilities – especially with Invasion block still influencing so many decks – is huge. Try this! It absolutely wrecks Masticore.

Isn’t”Stupefy” a great hard rock song?

All I can think of

As I try to write this

Is that Dr. Gopi

Probably hates Disturbed.

25. FOG BANK

1U, 0/2 Creature. Flying. This does not deal or receive combat damage.

Similar cards: Cephalid Illusionist is the latest creature to use the Gaseous Form ability. Skywing Aven acts a lot like a Fog Bank, given how easy it is to bounce back to your hand.

Rattlesnake: High

Gorilla: Very low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Medium-low

Plankton: Low

Urza’s Saga isn’t old-school yet, but this already feels like a classic veteran move. High”rattlesnake” for the same reason many white cards rank as high snakes: The attention goes to easier opponents.

A rush into mist

A loss of direction

A slow retreat

With slightly damp clothing.

24. HYDROMORPH GUARDIAN

2U, 2/2 Creature. U, Sacrifice this: Counter target spell that targets one or more creatures you control.

Similar cards: There’s a (larger, flying) Gull in Torment that works like the Guardian.

Rattlesnake: High

Gorilla: Low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Medium

Plankton: Low

I hope players don’t overlook this Torment common as they build blue decks for group. Given how precious many of our creatures are, and how much we depend on them, a Guardian can be an amazing asset. It’s a shame global sweepers bust through the Guardian’s protection… But early-game creatures like Devoted Hero and Doomsday Specter are far more able to operate with this thing watching their back.

Who could have guessed

Intemperate waters

Could hold such a noble beast?

It doesn’t suit blue.

23. JILT

1U Instant. Kicker 1R. Return target creature to owner’s hand. If you paid the kicker cost, this deals 2 damage to another target creature.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: High

Pigeon: Medium

Plankton: Low

Okay, this naani format is getting on my nerves. If I pick my words just right, I think I can insult English literature majors, the mountain time zone, fruit enthusiasts, and the flavor text team at Wizards of the Coast, all at once.

“You’re not my Hanna!

You’re…a banana!

I’ll spend four mana,

To target Utah and Montana.”

It’s 2:30 a.m. Cut me some slack.

22. SUNDER

3UU Instant. Return all lands to owners’ hands.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: High

Spider: Medium

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Low

This card is singularly uninteresting… But someday, there will be a great use for it. (Right now, all I can give you are the two cards mentioned in the poem…)

To avoid Armageddon

The lands swell high

Splitting themselves

Preparing a Blood Oath.

21. WASH OUT

3U Sorcery. Return all permanents of the color of your choice to their owners’ hands.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: High

Spider: Medium

Pigeon: Medium

Plankton: Medium

A bit random, but still fun. Sort of like Story Circle, but with the fun chance of screwing yourself in the process. Sure, why not? Color-changing cards are obvious combinations with this; Sway of Illusion seems to be the favorite.

One color of five

Stands tall above

The king of the mountains

Hates to see red called.

20. ARCANE LABORATORY

2U Enchantment. Each player cannot play more than one spell per turn.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium-high

Spider: Low

Pigeon: High

Plankton: Low

Look very carefully at cards like this in the new context of Odyssey and Torment cards: Madness cards are once again very powerful, since they can be played at instant-speed on other players’ turns.

The choice looms large:

Which spell is most worthy?

Best order the agenda

As Yawgmoth would.

19. ENSNARE

3U Instant. You may return two islands you control to your hand instead of paying the casting cost. Tap all creatures.

Similar cards: Deluge from Odyssey, and Shoving Match from Masques, are both instants that can affect the same end-of-turn tap-fest that Ensnare does. Breaking Wave – does anyone remember Breaking Wave from Invasion?!? – can tap all untapped creatures, and untap the tapped ones.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: High

Pigeon: Medium-high

Plankton: Medium

You’ve taken an evolutionary step as a player when you learn to play stuff like this at the end of your last opponent’s turn. Even in groups where the ground rules demand you tap attackers before they’re declared, it’s typically worth taking an unexpected rush in the face so that you can take full advantage of this card’s surprise.

Of course, if Overrun is all the rage in your group, you won’t wait that long to cast this. (First order of business is survival!)

When final push comes

And battlefield awaits

The captain must make sure

The troops don’t get sleepy

18. WINDFALL

2U Instant. Each player discards his or her hand and draws cards equal to the greatest number a player discarded this way.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Medium

Pigeon: High

Plankton: Medium-high

Don’t forget this card is restricted. Fortunately, Megrim isn’t.

Cards fly out of hand

With reckless purpose:

To gain the most

From a sudden windfall.

17. LEGACY’S ALLURE

UU Enchantment. During your upkeep, you may put a counter on this. Sacrifice this: Gain control permanently of target creature with power no greater than the number of counters on this.

Similar cards: The root of this card is Control Magic. The best examples of”threatened” control are Dominating Licid, Overtaker, Chamber of Manipulation, and Empress Galina.

Rattlesnake: High, and increases with time

Gorilla: Medium, and increases with time

Spider: Medium-low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Low

The card that inspired growing enchantments, Legacy’s Allure can have more impact than any other two-drop if it stays out long enough. Cards will go unplayed, creatures will divert attacks elsewhere, and spot removal will get strained as your opponents face off against each other, instead of you. Don’t depend too much on the creature you’ll steal, though – someone must be saving a Terminate just for you.

Beasts emerging

Grow fiercer and greater

As does temptation

For mercenary riches.

16. ABOSHAN, CEPHALID EMPEROR

3UU, 3/3 Creature (Legend). Tap a Cephalid you control: tap target creature. UUU: Tap all creatures without flying.

Similar cards: In an effort to be less random with my similar card and title card choices, I’ve separated out these from the instant-style tapping effects (see Ensnare and similars, above). So here, we have the permanents that threaten the tap: Cephalid Retainer, Rhystic Deluge, and the original Flood.

Rattlesnake: Very high

Gorilla: Medium-high

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium

As we get more and more cephalids, Aboshan will become even better… But there are enough quality squid for this thing to be killer. (Best bet are Cephalid Scouts, which fly so they aren’t affected by the second ability, and help you dig through your library to find their king.) Even without his brethren, Aboshan can rule the ground, and threaten wide-open defenses at will.

The clever mage,

Cornered by thieves,

Holds up a sleeping potion.

“Who wants to drink first?”

15. ALEXI, ZEPHYR MAGE

3UU, 3/3 Creature (Legend). XU, Tap, discard two cards from your hand: return X target creatures to their owners’ hands.

Rattlesnake: Very high

Gorilla: High

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Low

I might rate Aboshan higher in the future, depending on how I see it play over time; but I haven’t seen anything yet to convince me that there is a better blue multiplayer creature than Alexi. The fact that she can set an entire army back horribly, leave a defender completely open for a full round, and even save herself gives her dimensions that no other creature can compare to. The only place where she falls short of Aboshan’s power: she has to tap to use her ability. This is less a statement of how”bad” Alexi is than it is a statement of how mediocre most blue creatures are in group. (There are, after all, only six creatures on this list.)

The cleverer mage,

Cornered by thieves,

Bounces their ugly heads

Without asking questions.

14. TURBULENT DREAMS

UU Sorcery. As an additional cost to play this spell, discard X cards. Return X target nonland permanents to their owners’ hands.

Similar cards: Distorting Wake used to own this slot; it’s an X spell that works more slowly, and can be equally – if not more – devastating in the late game. Evacuation is an instant that sweeps away all creatures. Waterfront Bouncer is the early-game, mini-Alexi.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: High

Spider: Very high

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium-low

This Hall of Fame entry is proof that, despite my occasional mistypes and errors in memory, that I do try to check every detail of every card I put up here. I actually had this typed out in the first draft as an instant that returned creatures only (sort of a poor man’s Vengeful Dreams!), separate from and lower than Distorting Wake. But upon actually reading the card in my self-edit stage (yes, a self-edit stage… Where do you think all of these parenthetical asides come from?!?!), I saw how far off I was. I then blended this with the Wake, corrected the errors, found myself with an extra slot in the Hall…and in stepped Laquatus, fat and happy.

The cheaper your cards

The easier it is

For you to wake up

From blue-tinted nightmares.

13. FORBID

1UU Instant. Buyback: Choose and play two Basking Rootwallas. (Just making sure you’re paying attention.) Counter target spell.

Similar cards: the only other instant counterspell that you can use over again is the Odyssey flashback contribution, Fervent Denial. Creatures like Ertai and the two Stronghold spellshapers (Machinist and Biologist) give you additional capability here.

Rattlesnake: Very low, but increases with each use

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Very high, but decreases with each use

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium

Along with Mystic Snake and Suffocating Blast, this card is proof that countermagic can work in group play. Look back up at the rules text to see my thoughts on this card’s interactions with madness.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

12. CAPSIZE

1UU Instant. Buyback: 3. Return target permanent to owner’s hand.

Similar cards: Temporal Adept, Tradewind Rider, and Time Elemental can all give you repeated bounce of any kind of permanent. Dematerialize is a mediocre two-shot, at sorcery speed.

Rattlesnake: Very low, but increases with each use

Gorilla: Medium-high

Spider: Very high, but decreases with each use

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium-low

Still one of the best commons ever printed.

End of turn, bounce that.

End of turn, bounce that.

End of turn, bounce that.

End of turn, bounce that.

11. EQUILIBRIUM

1UU Enchantment. Whenever you cast a creature spell, you may pay 1 to return target creature to owner’s hand.

Rattlesnake: High

Gorilla: Very high

Spider: Medium-low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium-low

Does anyone play this without Aluren anymore? We used to be so innocent. Rules reminder: The creature you play to trigger Equilibrium cannot return itself.

The inner ear of blue

Has the wrong bones

And does not sense

When scales have tipped too far.

10. TELEPATHY

U Enchantment. All other players play with their hands revealed.

Similar cards: Wandering Eye is a creature that reveals all hands. An enchantment further up the list could also fit here…

Rattlesnake: Medium-high

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Low

Pigeon: High

Plankton: Very high

Information is king for blue. This card may get rolled into #1 in the next edition of the Hall; but I like the fact that your hand stays hidden enough to keep it separate for now.

I see what you see,

But you do not see

What I can see.

See what I mean?

9. PSYCHIC BATTLE

3UU Enchantment. Whenever a player chooses one or more targets, each player reveals the top card of his or her library. The player who reveals the card with the highest converted mana cost may change the target or targets. If two or more cards are tied for highest cost, the target or targets remain unchanged.

Rattlesnake: Very high

Gorilla: High

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Very high

Plankton: Medium-high

You can go two ways with this card: First, you can just throw it in a deck and have a random blast seeing who gets to target what, and when. Second, you can build your deck around it and completely control the targeting in a group game. I didn’t think much of that second strategy until I helped my bud Theo build not one, but two Psychic Battle decks. The first, black/blue, was nice (Avatar of Woe, Plague Wind, etc.) but lost to concerted creature attacks. The second, green/blue, can be absolutely insane, since it gets not only beef like Penumbra Wurm and Verdant Force, but also Sylvan Library and Worldly Tutor. Scroll Rack is killer, no matter which color you use.

When blue needs brainpower

It turns not to evil,

Nor good, nor burn…

But to fat green.

8. PROPAGANDA

2U Enchantment. Whenever an opponent attacks you, he or she must pay 2 for each attacking creature.

Similar cards: Collective Restraint works better in rainbow decks. War Tax never works as good as either one.

Rattlesnake: Very high

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Very high

Plankton: Low

So many of my readers just love this card, and so do I. I don’t think I need to explain it; but email me if you’re confused as to why this works so well. Or just try it yourself, and see what happens.

“Phyrexian soldiers:

Your government hates you.

Your President’s a jerk.

Go attack over there.”

7. REINS OF POWER

2UU Instant. You and target opponent each untap and gain control of all creatures the other controls until end of turn. Those creatures gain haste.

Similar cards: Cultural Exchange is an interesting option from Odyssey, giving you the chance (at sorcery speed) to exchange equal numbers of creatures. It works a bit differently from Reins and almost got its own slot; but in the end, for both cards you need many of the same elements.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: High

Spider: Very high

Pigeon: Very high

Plankton: Medium

Along with the #2 and #3 artifacts on the list below, this card is a huge reason why Stronghold was one of the most amazing multiplayer sets ever. What you do with the creatures you borrow is up to you; hints are in the following poem…

A demented altar,

A fling with a cyclops,

A reprocessed hand,

All follow the Reins.

6. STASIS

1U Enchantment. Players skip their untap step. During your upkeep, you may pay U. If you don’t, sacrifice this.

Similar cards: Embargo is another, inferior enchantment that has you lose life rather than slowly tapping islands. Rising Waters is an enchantment that echoes elements of both Winter Orb and Stasis.

Rattlesnake: Very high

Gorilla: Very high

Spider: Medium

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Low

Play this at your own risk, because so many people hate it. It’s a tricky card in that it’s hard to be original with it. But I think every person ought to try a Stasis deck, at least once, to get a feel as to why blue loves to be blue.

A suspended world

Sees no fruit growing,

No beasts roaming,

And most players yawning.

5. MISDIRECTION

3UU Instant. You may remove a blue card in your hand from the game instead of paying the casting cost. Target spell with a single target now targets a legal target of your choice instead.

Similar cards: Divert is the latest variant of Deflection. The only creature that showcases this ability is Silver Wyvern… Hey, Wizards, how about a reprint, or a similar finisher?

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: High

Spider: Ultimate

Pigeon: High

Plankton: Medium-low

Putting this card somewhere other than #1 is proof to you all that I do my best to remove favoritism from the rankings. This is without a doubt the blue card that I love best. I’ve used it so much in our group, the fellow in our group who loves blue best (Theo) doesn’t even touch it. This is part the occasional respect we show each other in our group once someone demonstrates”ownership” of a card; and part his disgust at my constant abuse of this trick. I’m really out of hand, so I don’t blame him.

A beautiful answer to Congregate, Urza’s Rage, and about a million other cards you can’t stand when someone else plays them. We all know you would do a better job picking the target anyway, so why be bashful? The card disadvantage in the early game is mere spit. The ability to shock as early as turn one puts this card as blue’s ultimate”spider.”

“I’ll hit that thing there.”

“What, this thing here?”

“No, I want that thing
there.”

“Nooo…you want this thing
here.”

4. STANDSTILL

1U Enchantment. Whenever a player plays a spell, sacrifice this. If you do, each of that player’s opponents draws three cards.

Similar cards: A distant cousin, Hesitation, used to be in old versions of the Hall. It counters the next spell played. Like Standstill, it plays off the idea of slowing down the game a bit and pushing current time/board advantage.

Rattlesnake: High

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Ultimate

Plankton: Very high

While enemies watched,

The smart army set busy

Healing sick, flinging chains,

And swearing druids’ oaths.

3. COWARDICE

3UU Enchantment. Whenever a creature becomes the target of a spell or ability, return that creature to owner’s hand.

Similar cards: Sunken Hope is an automatic one-creature-per-turn bounce.

Rattlesnake: Ultimate

Gorilla: Very high

Spider: Medium

Pigeon: Medium

Plankton: Medium-low

An absolute nightmare for many games, this is still a very elegant card – and it’s not like you’re being a total jerk… I mean, people can still play whatever they want, right? Okay, if you’re playing with en-Kor creatures, you are a total jerk. But you’re also probably having a blast, and your friends have got to give you some props every once in a while.

Creatures that cannot be targeted are, of course, nice complements (or countermeasures) to Cowardice.

Jolted by fierce merfolk,

Frightened by masticores,

The hosts fled, replaced

By strange insects.

2. UPHEAVAL

4UU Sorcery. Return all permanents’ to their owners’ hands.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: Ultimate

Spider: Very high

Pigeon: Medium-low

Plankton: Medium-high

Perhaps the most surprising sorcery you can cast, Upheaval almost always blows people away the first time you cast it… And even later, when they start to expect it. As the ultimate reset, Upheaval is one of only two cards that affects every permanent on the board. (The other one is red’s Apocalypse, which is in the Hall as a similar card to Obliterate.) It’s more fun than its red cousin, since it lets people restart the game with the seven most necessary and cost-effective cards possible.

I actually rated this lower than Standstill when I first looked at Odyssey. (See my article with Bennie Smith in Scrye from about half a year ago.) I don’t know why I did this. Folks, when you first look at a set, strange things go through your mind. I can’t explain all my neuroses; I can only record them in print for your amusement.

Gravity fails us all,

We float to the heavens,

And watch helplessly

As rootwallas rage.

1. ZUR’S WEIRDING

3U Enchantment. Players play with their hands revealed. Whenever a player would draw a card, instead reveal it. Any other player may pay 2 life to put that card into its owner’s graveyard. If no one does, that player then draws the card.

Rattlesnake: High

Gorilla: Very high

Spider: Low

Pigeon: High

Plankton: Ultimate

Ben Bleiweiss actually did a great write-up of this card earlier this week on magicthegathering.com, as one of the best cards that never really made it in tournament play. Check out all the interactions he suggests. The potential of this card is enormous, both in power and fun. With enough life, anyone can stop any card they want. How can you argue with that?

See all, know all, stop all.

Be seen, be known, be stopped.

Zur would have made

A great Congressman.


ARTIFACTS

Here’s the deal with artifacts: Odyssey and Torment do nothing for us. (Sandstone Deadfall came close, but no cigar.) So instead of blowing an additional week – or even too much of this one – with detailed explanations, I’m keeping the list of 25 I had last time, and showing their rules text and animal ratings. In a very few places, I will write a few words – but I will talk primarily about these artifacts in relation to other Odyssey and Torment cards. That way, I’m not wasting your time.

Oh, and the poetry. The format here will be acrostic, which lets you”build” a word. Just read the first letter of each line, down vertically:

A poetry form

Completely

Readable, but

Only if

Some words are not

Too long.

I’ll use the titles of the

Cards for each.

A quick word on an eternally excluded card:

Laugh at me

If you will, but

Foul wording,

Endless combinations, and

Lost time arguing rules

Inhibit this artifact.

Never in the Hall.

Ever.

25. CHIMERIC IDOL

3cc Artifact. 0, Tap all of your lands: This becomes a 3/3 artifact creature until end of turn.

Similar cards: Chimeric Staff and Chimeric Sphere.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Low

Chimeras

Have the most fun

In the wake of

Massive effects, like

Evacuation and

Rout…and,

If you’re freakish,

Catastrophe (land mode),

Intruder Alarm,

Devastation,

Overburden, and

Legerdemain (for a Masticore).

24. WORRY BEADS

3cc Artifact. At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard.

Similar cards: Whetstone and Millstone.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Low

Threshold, anyone? This is a basically mediocre card that makes milling decks workable, and has interesting interactions with new Odyssey block cards.

Why play it?

Odyssey strategies including

Roar of the Wurm,

Recursion like

Yawgmoth’s Agenda,

Bearscape tokens,

Early plays like

Anurid Scavenger…and

Dwarven

Shrine?!?

23. TANGLE WIRE

3cc Artifact. Fading 4. At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player taps an untapped artifact, creature, or land he or she controls for each fade counter on Tangle Wire.

Rattlesnake: Medium-low

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Medium-low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Low

To survive

An early

Nantuko Shade rush,

Goblin Medics

Love to trip wires

Each turn.

What else works?

Immobilizing Ink?

Retraced Image?

Elegant mammals like Graceful Antelope?

22. CALTROPS

3cc Artifact. Whenever a creature attacks, Caltrops deals one damage to it.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Low

Control has an

Ally in this card.

Lashknife Barrier heals.

To pump, use Narcissism.

Reincarnation can see a

Ouphe turn into a

Petradon.

Sting with a Bullwhip as needed.

21. CURSED TOTEM.

2cc Artifact. Players cannot play any creature abilities requiring an activation cost.

Similar Cards: Null Rod does the same thing for artifact abilities.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Medium-low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium-low

Can’t

Use

Repentant Vampire’s threshold ability,

Spiritmonger’s colorchange or regen,

Ertai, the Corrupted’s locks, or

Discard effects of Wild Mongrel.

Triggered

Or continual abilities are fine:

Treva the Renewer,

Eladamri Lord of Leaves, and

Mindslicer.

20. ARMAGEDDON CLOCK

6cc Artifact. During your upkeep, put one doom counter on this. At the end of your upkeep, this deals X damage to each player, where X is the number of doom counters on this. During any upkeep, any player may pay 4 to remove a doom counter from this.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium-high

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium

Similar Cards: Copper Tablet is an automatic one to everyone, unadjustable.

CoP: Artifacts is an old school combo.

Lifegain is loathsome, but understandable.

Odyssey block combos include

Clever Transcendence tricks and

Kamahl, Pit Fighter beatdown.

19. BARBED WIRE

3
cc Artifact. At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, Barbed Wire deals 1damage to that player. 2: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt by Barbed Wire this turn.

Rattlesnake: Medium-high

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium

When played in team,

It really shines.

Restricted Sol Ring is

Everything you need.

18. DRAGON ARCH

5cc Artifact. 2, Tap: Put a multicolored creature card from your hand into play.

Similar cards: Quicksilver Amulet and Belbe’s Portal, for differing conditions and mana costs, also put creature cards into play at instant speed.

Rattlesnake: High

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Low

Do not play until

Round seven.

Activation threat will

Guarantee survival.

Only gold cards will work, so

Noble Panther looks good.

At the higher end,

Rith is king, and

Cromat will

Have a chance to play abilities.

17. LEGACY WEAPON

7cc Artifact. WGRBU: Remove target permanent from the game. If Legacy Weapon would be put into the graveyard from anywhere, shuffle it back into your library instead.

Rattlesnake: High

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Very low

Plankton: Medium low

Late game dominance,

Even if you

Get only four colors early.

Add

City of Brass and

Yavimaya Elder to smooth mana.

What do you target first?

Enchantments that deny mana, then

Ashnod’s Altar styled combo pieces, then

Phyrexian Reclamation and

Other recursion like Ichorid; finally,

Nomad Decoys and other minor control elements.

(Okay, that’s the least poetic acrostic you’ll ever see. But Legacy Weapon isn’t a very poetic card.)

16. SMOKESTACK.

4cc Artifact. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a soot counter on Smokestack. At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player sacrifices a permanent for each soot counter on Smokestack.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium-high, increases with time

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Very low

Synergy with other cards

Makes this different than

Old-school standbys like Wrath.

Keep counters high, and use

Eternal cards like

Squee, Devoted Hero,

Treefolk (Weatherseed),

Avenging Angel, as well as

Cantrips like Aven Fisher and

Kingfisher.

15. STORM CAULDRON

5cc Artifact. Each player may play an additional land during his or her turn. Whenever a land is tapped for mana, return it to its owner’s hand.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: High

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium

A good intermediate step toward an Upheaval!

Sensing now that

Too many acrostics may be

Overkill, I’ve been occasionally

Reducing these double-word deals to a

Mere one word.

(And you thought that

Long-suffering readers

Of Casual Fridays wouldn’t

Notice your

Guileful reduction of poem-related

Information?

The Ferrett)

14. THRAN WEAPONRY

2cc Artifact. Echo. You may choose not to untap Thran Weaponry during your untap step. 2, Tap: All creatures get +2/+2 as long as Thran Weaponry remains tapped.

Similar Cards: Infinite Hourglass.

Rattlesnake: Medium-high

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: High

Three months ago,

Hard questions on this

Rocked me on Level I Judge

Assessment.

Note the following:

When you tap this,

Every creature in play,

As a set,

Pumps together.

Once the ability resolves,

No new arrivals

Receive the bonus.

Yes, that’s Level III-confirmed.

13. TEFERI’S PUZZLE BOX

4cc Artifact. At the beginning of each player’s draw step, that player counts the cards in his or her hand, puts them on the bottom of his or her library, and then draws that many cards.

Rattlesnake: Medium-high

Gorilla: Medium-high

Spider: Medium

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Medium-high

Plagiarize has another combo –

Use it while you can!

Zur’s Weirding will make things even

Zanier, but who knows if it works?

Let cards go to the bottom –

Eventually, you’ll see them again.

12. VISELING

4cc, 2/2 Artifact Creature. During each opponent’s upkeep, that player takes one damage for each card in his or her hand minus four.

Similar cards. Rackling is the opposite number, penalizing empty hands. Iron Maiden and Wheel of Torture are the non-creature artifact versions of these cards. They are both based on classics – Black Vise and The Rack.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Medium-high

Spider: Medium-low

Pigeon: High

Plankton: Low

Vaults”mass draw” decks

Into respectability for group play

Sensible complements include

Evacuation, and

Land denial such as Sunder.

Indentured Djinn seems obvious,

Noetic Scales is a bit more subtle.

Gurzigost is a great countermeasure.

11. ANGEL’S TRUMPET.

3cc Artifact. Attacking does not cause creatures to tap. At the end of each player’s turn, tap all untapped creatures he or she controls that did not attack this turn. Angel’s Trumpet deals 1 damage to that player for each creature tapped this way.

Rattlesnake: High

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Medium-high

Plankton: High

Aggressive artifacts:

Not very common.

Get the game moving.

Expect early exits, and

Let walls do their work.

Serra Angels don’t belong here –

Tramplers,

Ragers with haste,

Utility creatures,

Masters of first strike, and

Powerful flyers are

Efficient choices.

Tap out? No such thing!

10. JINXED IDOL

2cc Artifact. During your upkeep, Jinxed Idol does 2 damage to you. Sacrifice a creature: target opponent gains control of Jinxed Idol permanently.

Similar cards: Jinxed Ring penalizes losing cards to the graveyard; you sack a creature to donate it as well.

Rattlesnake: High

Gorilla: Medium-low

Spider: Medium-low

Pigeon: High

Plankton: Medium-high

Just one extra creature

Is all you

Need.

Xenic Poltergiest can scramble your

Egg from Odyssey into

Desperately needed Idol breakfast!

9. WINTER ORB

2cc Artifact. Players may not untap more than one land during their untap phase.

Rattlesnake: Low

Gorilla: Very high

Spider: Medium

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Negligible

Obvious with Stasis.

Reach for something more innovative (Mungha Wurm?)

Be careful of the backlash.

8. PHYREXIAN SPLICER

2cc Artifact. 2, Tap: Choose flying, first strike, trample, or shadow. Target creature with that ability loses it until end of turn. Another target creature gains that ability until end of turn.

Rattlesnake: Very high

Gorilla: Medium

Spider: Low

Pigeon: High

Plankton: Medium

See that flyer over there?

Pull its abilities away,

Latch them onto a creature of yours.

Instant super-man!

Combat phase is best timing,

Even if you’re not involved.

Reinforce your play with Ghitu War Cry.

7. HORN OF GREED

3cc Artifact. Whenever a player plays a land, that player draws a card.

Rattlesnake: Medium-low

Gorilla: Medium-high

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Low

Plankton: Very high

Have a problem with this card?

Only a killjoy would

Rack and Ruin this, unless

Nev’s Disk was the other artifact.

6. HELM OF AWAKENING

2cc Artifact. All spells cost 1 less to play.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: High

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Medium-low

Plankton: Very high

How could this be bad?

Every player

Likes cheap spells.

Mongrels cost G!

5. HOWLING MINE

2cc Artifact. During each player’s draw step, that player draws an additional card.

Similar cards: Well of Knowledge gives each player an opportunity to pay mana for more cards.

Rattlesnake: Medium-low

Gorilla: High

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Medium-low

Plankton: Ultimate

Many players run four

In complete altruism

Never Disenchant, unless

Excellent reasons exist.

4. BEAST OF BURDEN

6cc, */* Artifact Creature. * equals the number of creatures in play.

Rattlesnake: Medium

Gorilla: Very high

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Ultimate

Plankton: Low

Before panicking,

Unleash an Earthquake.

Reams of tokens will

Die, leaving an

Enfeebled Beast in dire

Need of CPR.

3. ENSNARING BRIDGE

3cc Artifact. Each creature with power greater than the number of cards in your hand cannot attack.

Rattlesnake:

Gorilla:

Spider: Ultimate

Pigeon:

Plankton:

“Ultimate spider” doesn’t mean a lot when it comes to artifacts; but this is pretty much the nastiest surprise you can spring on a group game, especially early on. Instants you can flush out of your hand (including madness-ready spells), creatures that pump like Nantuko Shade, and a host of other elements make the Bridge an excellent candidate for new multiplayer decks.

Bees and Bats,

Regeneration through Patchwork Gnomes,

Ice (or Fire) for opponents’ Tims,

Discard through Bottomless Pit or Compulsion, and

Ghitu War Cry with goblin hordes, are all

Excellent win conditions.

2. PORTCULLIS

4cc Artifact. Whenever a creature comes into play, if there are two or more other creatures in play, remove that creature from the game. When Portcullis leaves play, return to play under their owner’s control all creatures removed from the game with Portcullis.

Rattlesnake: Very high

Gorilla: Very high

Spider: Medium-low

Pigeon: Very high

Plankton: High

Printing out this card’s

Oracle

Rulings is

Tradition for the Hall.

Clever players

Use many of the

Leaves-play, enters-play tricks.

Last time I checked, the

Inimitable Faceless Butcher

Sets off triggers both directions.

* If the creature that triggered Portcullis is no longer in play when the ability resolves, then it fails to do anything. [Duelist Magazine #25, Page 31]

* Creatures which are phasing in will not trigger this card’s ability. [D’Angelo 98/04/13]

* You only check the count of the number of creatures in play during resolution. The creature will not be removed if the count is 2 or less. [D’Angelo 98/04/17]

* If Portcullis phases out, and something prevents one of the creatures from coming into play (for example, a Clone has no target), then the creature remains out of play and can try to enter play again the next time Portcullis leaves play. [bethmo 98/05/02]

* The”when Portcullis leaves play” is not part of setting the creature aside, so it does not happen if Portcullis’ abilities are at the time it leaves play. [D’Angelo 99/06/01]

* If multiple creatures come into play at the same time, Portcullis triggers for each creature. [bethmo 99/05/26]

* If multiple creatures come into play at the same time, Portcullis sees the creature count as being the new total after all the creatures are in play. Don’t handle this like creatures coming into play one at a time. [bethmo 99/05/26]

* If multiple creatures come into play at once, due to Living Death for example, then Portcullis will trigger on all of those creatures. The player controlling Portcullis decides the order to resolve the Portcullis triggers and therefore chooses which two creatures stay in play (assuming that none were already in play… if some were already in play he might not really get a choice). All the others get yanked by the Portcullis. [D’Angelo 98/06/11]

* If any creature comes into play which has a”comes into play” ability (see Rule E.3), that ability is still applied even if Portcullis removes that creature from play before you resolve the ability. [D’Angelo 98/06/11]

* If any creature comes into play which has a”comes into play” ability (see Rule E.3), you need to use the timing rules for triggered abilities (see Rule A.4) to determine the order to put the triggers on the stack. The rule is that first the current player does all of their triggers in any order they choose, then the other player does all of theirs in any order they choose.

* [D’Angelo 99/06/01] The result is that if the current player controls Portcullis, they can do their creatures'”comes into play” abilities before or after Portcullis removes creatures from play, while the other player always resolves their creatures'”comes into play” abilities before Portcullis. If the other player controls Portcullis, the current player always does their creatures'”comes into play” abilities after Portcullis, then the other player can do their creatures'”comes into play” abilities before or after the Portcullis removes creatures from play.

* Note – Also see Comes Into Play Abilities, Rule E.3.

1. NEVINYRRAL’S DISK.

4. Nevinyrral’s Disk comes into play tapped. 1, Tap: Destroy all artifacts, creatures, and enchantments.

Similar cards: Powder Keg.

Rattlesnake: Ultimate

Gorilla: Ultimate

Spider: Low

Pigeon: Medium-high

Plankton: Medium-high

Deed’s older brother,

It reigns

Supreme as

King of the artifacts.

NEXT WEEK: We close out the Hall with lands and black cards.

Peace,

Anthony Alongi

[email protected]

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