I was really bummed to remember Karmic Justice after I sent out last week’s white article. A few readers had suggested it some weeks ago… But it got lost in the whirl of the complex dart-throwing – er, ranking – process that precedes Hall publication.
Anyhow, Karmic Justice is fairly terrific in multiplayer, with high”rattlesnake” element.
If you need a reminder on the animal elements… Go back and read the first few elements of the Hall. Other readers don’t want to go through it all over again.
Blue
If you’ve been keeping up with the series, you know that I’m describing each card with bad poetry. This color’s chosen poetic form is naani, which I learned while scrounging the Internet for poetry forms that weren’t as cute as buttons, or pretentious as English Lit majors (Whooooops!… Just lost part of my audience).
“Naani is one of the Indian popular Telugu poems. Naani means an expression of one and all. It consists of 4 lines, the total lines consists of 20 to 25 syllables. The poem is not bounded to a particular subject. Generally it depends upon human relations and current statements. It’s not necessary to follow the rules. This poetry was introduced by one of the renowned Telugu poets Dr. N. Gopi, presently working as vice-chancellor to Telugu University, Andhra Pradesh.”
Hmmm… That’s pretty pretentious. Well, here’s the example they give on the site:
In-between four walls
A loneliness with deep silence
Became paleness
When book accosts.
No, I don’t get it, either. But it’s mysterious, you waste time trying to get through it, you get annoyed quickly – and that pretty much captures blue in a nutshell. Plus, I don’t have to spend tons of time counting syllables so closely. That, my friends, was the clincher.
30. AMBASSADOR LAQUATUS
1UU, 1/3 Creature (Legend). 3: Put the top three cards of target player’s library into his or her graveyard.
Rattlesnake: Medium, increases with time
Gorilla: Low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Very low
Plankton: Low
Milling decks are better than ever in any environment. Given the amount of mana you can put out in a casual game, the fact that you have to plow through multiple players is barely a consideration. Drop the Ambassador late; no sense in getting him killed before you can sweep nine or more cards at a time.
When you can’t win
Another door appears.
As you push it open,
It shuts on your foes.
29. UNNATURAL SELECTION
1U Enchantment. 1: Choose a creature type other than Wall. Target creature becomes that type until end of turn.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Medium-low
Plankton: Low
A really funky card that hasn’t been around for long, but has spawned an entire branch of casual decks. How good does Shoreline Raider get with this thing?!?
Head of a legend,
Body of a rhino,
Tail of a scorpion,
It fears reflection.
28. BLIND SEER
2UU, 3/3 Creature (Legend). 1U: Target permanent or spell becomes the color of your choice.
Similar cards: Several blue cards through the ages change colors or cards that name colors. Closest to Blind Seer are two greatly inferior creatures, Tidal Visionary (creatures) and Vodalian Mystic (spells).
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Medium-low
Plankton: Low
Like Unnatural Selection, but perhaps more useful since color play has a more established history in Magic, so there are more tricks you can play. Everything from Perish to gating is game.
All of the colors
A blind man sees
Can banish a black knight
Or exile a white one.
27. PLAGARIZE
3U Instant. Until end of turn, whenever target player would draw a card, you draw a card instead.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Medium-high
Pigeon: Medium
Plankton: Low
Sure, it’s a chase rare; but it’s also going to have very specific trick applications in casual decks. Think of Prosperity, as well as a neat little artifact we’ll mention down below.
What we write once rich
Is very different
From what we write
As poor librarians.
26. STUPEFYING TOUCH
1U Creature Enchantment. When this comes into play, draw a card. Enchanted creature may not play activated abilities.
Rattlesnake: Medium-low
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Medium-low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium-high
The number of creatures using activated abilities – especially with Invasion block still influencing so many decks – is huge. Try this! It absolutely wrecks Masticore.
Isn’t”Stupefy” a great hard rock song?
All I can think of
As I try to write this
Is that Dr. Gopi
Probably hates Disturbed.
25. FOG BANK
1U, 0/2 Creature. Flying. This does not deal or receive combat damage.
Similar cards: Cephalid Illusionist is the latest creature to use the Gaseous Form ability. Skywing Aven acts a lot like a Fog Bank, given how easy it is to bounce back to your hand.
Rattlesnake: High
Gorilla: Very low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Medium-low
Plankton: Low
Urza’s Saga isn’t old-school yet, but this already feels like a classic veteran move. High”rattlesnake” for the same reason many white cards rank as high snakes: The attention goes to easier opponents.
A rush into mist
A loss of direction
A slow retreat
With slightly damp clothing.
24. HYDROMORPH GUARDIAN
2U, 2/2 Creature. U, Sacrifice this: Counter target spell that targets one or more creatures you control.
Similar cards: There’s a (larger, flying) Gull in Torment that works like the Guardian.
Rattlesnake: High
Gorilla: Low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Medium
Plankton: Low
I hope players don’t overlook this Torment common as they build blue decks for group. Given how precious many of our creatures are, and how much we depend on them, a Guardian can be an amazing asset. It’s a shame global sweepers bust through the Guardian’s protection… But early-game creatures like Devoted Hero and Doomsday Specter are far more able to operate with this thing watching their back.
Who could have guessed
Intemperate waters
Could hold such a noble beast?
It doesn’t suit blue.
23. JILT
1U Instant. Kicker 1R. Return target creature to owner’s hand. If you paid the kicker cost, this deals 2 damage to another target creature.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: High
Pigeon: Medium
Plankton: Low
Okay, this naani format is getting on my nerves. If I pick my words just right, I think I can insult English literature majors, the mountain time zone, fruit enthusiasts, and the flavor text team at Wizards of the Coast, all at once.
“You’re not my Hanna!
You’re…a banana!
I’ll spend four mana,
To target Utah and Montana.”
It’s 2:30 a.m. Cut me some slack.
22. SUNDER
3UU Instant. Return all lands to owners’ hands.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: High
Spider: Medium
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Low
This card is singularly uninteresting… But someday, there will be a great use for it. (Right now, all I can give you are the two cards mentioned in the poem…)
To avoid Armageddon
The lands swell high
Splitting themselves
Preparing a Blood Oath.
21. WASH OUT
3U Sorcery. Return all permanents of the color of your choice to their owners’ hands.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: High
Spider: Medium
Pigeon: Medium
Plankton: Medium
A bit random, but still fun. Sort of like Story Circle, but with the fun chance of screwing yourself in the process. Sure, why not? Color-changing cards are obvious combinations with this; Sway of Illusion seems to be the favorite.
One color of five
Stands tall above
The king of the mountains
Hates to see red called.
20. ARCANE LABORATORY
2U Enchantment. Each player cannot play more than one spell per turn.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium-high
Spider: Low
Pigeon: High
Plankton: Low
Look very carefully at cards like this in the new context of Odyssey and Torment cards: Madness cards are once again very powerful, since they can be played at instant-speed on other players’ turns.
The choice looms large:
Which spell is most worthy?
Best order the agenda
As Yawgmoth would.
19. ENSNARE
3U Instant. You may return two islands you control to your hand instead of paying the casting cost. Tap all creatures.
Similar cards: Deluge from Odyssey, and Shoving Match from Masques, are both instants that can affect the same end-of-turn tap-fest that Ensnare does. Breaking Wave – does anyone remember Breaking Wave from Invasion?!? – can tap all untapped creatures, and untap the tapped ones.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: High
Pigeon: Medium-high
Plankton: Medium
You’ve taken an evolutionary step as a player when you learn to play stuff like this at the end of your last opponent’s turn. Even in groups where the ground rules demand you tap attackers before they’re declared, it’s typically worth taking an unexpected rush in the face so that you can take full advantage of this card’s surprise.
Of course, if Overrun is all the rage in your group, you won’t wait that long to cast this. (First order of business is survival!)
When final push comes
And battlefield awaits
The captain must make sure
The troops don’t get sleepy
18. WINDFALL
2U Instant. Each player discards his or her hand and draws cards equal to the greatest number a player discarded this way.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Medium
Pigeon: High
Plankton: Medium-high
Don’t forget this card is restricted. Fortunately, Megrim isn’t.
Cards fly out of hand
With reckless purpose:
To gain the most
From a sudden windfall.
17. LEGACY’S ALLURE
UU Enchantment. During your upkeep, you may put a counter on this. Sacrifice this: Gain control permanently of target creature with power no greater than the number of counters on this.
Similar cards: The root of this card is Control Magic. The best examples of”threatened” control are Dominating Licid, Overtaker, Chamber of Manipulation, and Empress Galina.
Rattlesnake: High, and increases with time
Gorilla: Medium, and increases with time
Spider: Medium-low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Low
The card that inspired growing enchantments, Legacy’s Allure can have more impact than any other two-drop if it stays out long enough. Cards will go unplayed, creatures will divert attacks elsewhere, and spot removal will get strained as your opponents face off against each other, instead of you. Don’t depend too much on the creature you’ll steal, though – someone must be saving a Terminate just for you.
Beasts emerging
Grow fiercer and greater
As does temptation
For mercenary riches.
16. ABOSHAN, CEPHALID EMPEROR
3UU, 3/3 Creature (Legend). Tap a Cephalid you control: tap target creature. UUU: Tap all creatures without flying.
Similar cards: In an effort to be less random with my similar card and title card choices, I’ve separated out these from the instant-style tapping effects (see Ensnare and similars, above). So here, we have the permanents that threaten the tap: Cephalid Retainer, Rhystic Deluge, and the original Flood.
Rattlesnake: Very high
Gorilla: Medium-high
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium
As we get more and more cephalids, Aboshan will become even better… But there are enough quality squid for this thing to be killer. (Best bet are Cephalid Scouts, which fly so they aren’t affected by the second ability, and help you dig through your library to find their king.) Even without his brethren, Aboshan can rule the ground, and threaten wide-open defenses at will.
The clever mage,
Cornered by thieves,
Holds up a sleeping potion.
“Who wants to drink first?”
15. ALEXI, ZEPHYR MAGE
3UU, 3/3 Creature (Legend). XU, Tap, discard two cards from your hand: return X target creatures to their owners’ hands.
Rattlesnake: Very high
Gorilla: High
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Low
I might rate Aboshan higher in the future, depending on how I see it play over time; but I haven’t seen anything yet to convince me that there is a better blue multiplayer creature than Alexi. The fact that she can set an entire army back horribly, leave a defender completely open for a full round, and even save herself gives her dimensions that no other creature can compare to. The only place where she falls short of Aboshan’s power: she has to tap to use her ability. This is less a statement of how”bad” Alexi is than it is a statement of how mediocre most blue creatures are in group. (There are, after all, only six creatures on this list.)
The cleverer mage,
Cornered by thieves,
Bounces their ugly heads
Without asking questions.
14. TURBULENT DREAMS
UU Sorcery. As an additional cost to play this spell, discard X cards. Return X target nonland permanents to their owners’ hands.
Similar cards: Distorting Wake used to own this slot; it’s an X spell that works more slowly, and can be equally – if not more – devastating in the late game. Evacuation is an instant that sweeps away all creatures. Waterfront Bouncer is the early-game, mini-Alexi.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: High
Spider: Very high
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium-low
This Hall of Fame entry is proof that, despite my occasional mistypes and errors in memory, that I do try to check every detail of every card I put up here. I actually had this typed out in the first draft as an instant that returned creatures only (sort of a poor man’s Vengeful Dreams!), separate from and lower than Distorting Wake. But upon actually reading the card in my self-edit stage (yes, a self-edit stage… Where do you think all of these parenthetical asides come from?!?!), I saw how far off I was. I then blended this with the Wake, corrected the errors, found myself with an extra slot in the Hall…and in stepped Laquatus, fat and happy.
The cheaper your cards
The easier it is
For you to wake up
From blue-tinted nightmares.
13. FORBID
1UU Instant. Buyback: Choose and play two Basking Rootwallas. (Just making sure you’re paying attention.) Counter target spell.
Similar cards: the only other instant counterspell that you can use over again is the Odyssey flashback contribution, Fervent Denial. Creatures like Ertai and the two Stronghold spellshapers (Machinist and Biologist) give you additional capability here.
Rattlesnake: Very low, but increases with each use
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Very high, but decreases with each use
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium
Along with Mystic Snake and Suffocating Blast, this card is proof that countermagic can work in group play. Look back up at the rules text to see my thoughts on this card’s interactions with madness.
No. No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No. No.
12. CAPSIZE
1UU Instant. Buyback: 3. Return target permanent to owner’s hand.
Similar cards: Temporal Adept, Tradewind Rider, and Time Elemental can all give you repeated bounce of any kind of permanent. Dematerialize is a mediocre two-shot, at sorcery speed.
Rattlesnake: Very low, but increases with each use
Gorilla: Medium-high
Spider: Very high, but decreases with each use
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium-low
Still one of the best commons ever printed.
End of turn, bounce that.
End of turn, bounce that.
End of turn, bounce that.
End of turn, bounce that.
11. EQUILIBRIUM
1UU Enchantment. Whenever you cast a creature spell, you may pay 1 to return target creature to owner’s hand.
Rattlesnake: High
Gorilla: Very high
Spider: Medium-low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium-low
Does anyone play this without Aluren anymore? We used to be so innocent. Rules reminder: The creature you play to trigger Equilibrium cannot return itself.
The inner ear of blue
Has the wrong bones
And does not sense
When scales have tipped too far.
10. TELEPATHY
U Enchantment. All other players play with their hands revealed.
Similar cards: Wandering Eye is a creature that reveals all hands. An enchantment further up the list could also fit here…
Rattlesnake: Medium-high
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Low
Pigeon: High
Plankton: Very high
Information is king for blue. This card may get rolled into #1 in the next edition of the Hall; but I like the fact that your hand stays hidden enough to keep it separate for now.
I see what you see,
But you do not see
What I can see.
See what I mean?
9. PSYCHIC BATTLE
3UU Enchantment. Whenever a player chooses one or more targets, each player reveals the top card of his or her library. The player who reveals the card with the highest converted mana cost may change the target or targets. If two or more cards are tied for highest cost, the target or targets remain unchanged.
Rattlesnake: Very high
Gorilla: High
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Very high
Plankton: Medium-high
You can go two ways with this card: First, you can just throw it in a deck and have a random blast seeing who gets to target what, and when. Second, you can build your deck around it and completely control the targeting in a group game. I didn’t think much of that second strategy until I helped my bud Theo build not one, but two Psychic Battle decks. The first, black/blue, was nice (Avatar of Woe, Plague Wind, etc.) but lost to concerted creature attacks. The second, green/blue, can be absolutely insane, since it gets not only beef like Penumbra Wurm and Verdant Force, but also Sylvan Library and Worldly Tutor. Scroll Rack is killer, no matter which color you use.
When blue needs brainpower
It turns not to evil,
Nor good, nor burn…
But to fat green.
8. PROPAGANDA
2U Enchantment. Whenever an opponent attacks you, he or she must pay 2 for each attacking creature.
Similar cards: Collective Restraint works better in rainbow decks. War Tax never works as good as either one.
Rattlesnake: Very high
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Very high
Plankton: Low
So many of my readers just love this card, and so do I. I don’t think I need to explain it; but email me if you’re confused as to why this works so well. Or just try it yourself, and see what happens.
“Phyrexian soldiers:
Your government hates you.
Your President’s a jerk.
Go attack over there.”
7. REINS OF POWER
2UU Instant. You and target opponent each untap and gain control of all creatures the other controls until end of turn. Those creatures gain haste.
Similar cards: Cultural Exchange is an interesting option from Odyssey, giving you the chance (at sorcery speed) to exchange equal numbers of creatures. It works a bit differently from Reins and almost got its own slot; but in the end, for both cards you need many of the same elements.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: High
Spider: Very high
Pigeon: Very high
Plankton: Medium
Along with the #2 and #3 artifacts on the list below, this card is a huge reason why Stronghold was one of the most amazing multiplayer sets ever. What you do with the creatures you borrow is up to you; hints are in the following poem…
A demented altar,
A fling with a cyclops,
A reprocessed hand,
All follow the Reins.
6. STASIS
1U Enchantment. Players skip their untap step. During your upkeep, you may pay U. If you don’t, sacrifice this.
Similar cards: Embargo is another, inferior enchantment that has you lose life rather than slowly tapping islands. Rising Waters is an enchantment that echoes elements of both Winter Orb and Stasis.
Rattlesnake: Very high
Gorilla: Very high
Spider: Medium
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Low
Play this at your own risk, because so many people hate it. It’s a tricky card in that it’s hard to be original with it. But I think every person ought to try a Stasis deck, at least once, to get a feel as to why blue loves to be blue.
A suspended world
Sees no fruit growing,
No beasts roaming,
And most players yawning.
5. MISDIRECTION
3UU Instant. You may remove a blue card in your hand from the game instead of paying the casting cost. Target spell with a single target now targets a legal target of your choice instead.
Similar cards: Divert is the latest variant of Deflection. The only creature that showcases this ability is Silver Wyvern… Hey, Wizards, how about a reprint, or a similar finisher?
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: High
Spider: Ultimate
Pigeon: High
Plankton: Medium-low
Putting this card somewhere other than #1 is proof to you all that I do my best to remove favoritism from the rankings. This is without a doubt the blue card that I love best. I’ve used it so much in our group, the fellow in our group who loves blue best (Theo) doesn’t even touch it. This is part the occasional respect we show each other in our group once someone demonstrates”ownership” of a card; and part his disgust at my constant abuse of this trick. I’m really out of hand, so I don’t blame him.
A beautiful answer to Congregate, Urza’s Rage, and about a million other cards you can’t stand when someone else plays them. We all know you would do a better job picking the target anyway, so why be bashful? The card disadvantage in the early game is mere spit. The ability to shock as early as turn one puts this card as blue’s ultimate”spider.”
“I’ll hit that thing there.”
“What, this thing here?”
“No, I want that thing there.”
“Nooo…you want this thing here.”
4. STANDSTILL
1U Enchantment. Whenever a player plays a spell, sacrifice this. If you do, each of that player’s opponents draws three cards.
Similar cards: A distant cousin, Hesitation, used to be in old versions of the Hall. It counters the next spell played. Like Standstill, it plays off the idea of slowing down the game a bit and pushing current time/board advantage.
Rattlesnake: High
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Ultimate
Plankton: Very high
While enemies watched,
The smart army set busy
Healing sick, flinging chains,
And swearing druids’ oaths.
3. COWARDICE
3UU Enchantment. Whenever a creature becomes the target of a spell or ability, return that creature to owner’s hand.
Similar cards: Sunken Hope is an automatic one-creature-per-turn bounce.
Rattlesnake: Ultimate
Gorilla: Very high
Spider: Medium
Pigeon: Medium
Plankton: Medium-low
An absolute nightmare for many games, this is still a very elegant card – and it’s not like you’re being a total jerk… I mean, people can still play whatever they want, right? Okay, if you’re playing with en-Kor creatures, you are a total jerk. But you’re also probably having a blast, and your friends have got to give you some props every once in a while.
Creatures that cannot be targeted are, of course, nice complements (or countermeasures) to Cowardice.
Jolted by fierce merfolk,
Frightened by masticores,
The hosts fled, replaced
By strange insects.
2. UPHEAVAL
4UU Sorcery. Return all permanents’ to their owners’ hands.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: Ultimate
Spider: Very high
Pigeon: Medium-low
Plankton: Medium-high
Perhaps the most surprising sorcery you can cast, Upheaval almost always blows people away the first time you cast it… And even later, when they start to expect it. As the ultimate reset, Upheaval is one of only two cards that affects every permanent on the board. (The other one is red’s Apocalypse, which is in the Hall as a similar card to Obliterate.) It’s more fun than its red cousin, since it lets people restart the game with the seven most necessary and cost-effective cards possible.
I actually rated this lower than Standstill when I first looked at Odyssey. (See my article with Bennie Smith in Scrye from about half a year ago.) I don’t know why I did this. Folks, when you first look at a set, strange things go through your mind. I can’t explain all my neuroses; I can only record them in print for your amusement.
Gravity fails us all,
We float to the heavens,
And watch helplessly
As rootwallas rage.
1. ZUR’S WEIRDING
3U Enchantment. Players play with their hands revealed. Whenever a player would draw a card, instead reveal it. Any other player may pay 2 life to put that card into its owner’s graveyard. If no one does, that player then draws the card.
Rattlesnake: High
Gorilla: Very high
Spider: Low
Pigeon: High
Plankton: Ultimate
Ben Bleiweiss actually did a great write-up of this card earlier this week on magicthegathering.com, as one of the best cards that never really made it in tournament play. Check out all the interactions he suggests. The potential of this card is enormous, both in power and fun. With enough life, anyone can stop any card they want. How can you argue with that?
See all, know all, stop all.
Be seen, be known, be stopped.
Zur would have made
A great Congressman.
ARTIFACTS
Here’s the deal with artifacts: Odyssey and Torment do nothing for us. (Sandstone Deadfall came close, but no cigar.) So instead of blowing an additional week – or even too much of this one – with detailed explanations, I’m keeping the list of 25 I had last time, and showing their rules text and animal ratings. In a very few places, I will write a few words – but I will talk primarily about these artifacts in relation to other Odyssey and Torment cards. That way, I’m not wasting your time.
Oh, and the poetry. The format here will be acrostic, which lets you”build” a word. Just read the first letter of each line, down vertically:
A poetry form
Completely
Readable, but
Only if
Some words are not
Too long.
I’ll use the titles of the
Cards for each.
A quick word on an eternally excluded card:
Laugh at me
If you will, but
Foul wording,
Endless combinations, and
Lost time arguing rules
Inhibit this artifact.
Never in the Hall.
Ever.
25. CHIMERIC IDOL
3cc Artifact. 0, Tap all of your lands: This becomes a 3/3 artifact creature until end of turn.
Similar cards: Chimeric Staff and Chimeric Sphere.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Low
Chimeras
Have the most fun
In the wake of
Massive effects, like
Evacuation and
Rout…and,
If you’re freakish,
Catastrophe (land mode),
Intruder Alarm,
Devastation,
Overburden, and
Legerdemain (for a Masticore).
24. WORRY BEADS
3cc Artifact. At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
Similar cards: Whetstone and Millstone.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Low
Threshold, anyone? This is a basically mediocre card that makes milling decks workable, and has interesting interactions with new Odyssey block cards.
Why play it?
Odyssey strategies including
Roar of the Wurm,
Recursion like
Yawgmoth’s Agenda,
Bearscape tokens,
Early plays like
Anurid Scavenger…and
Dwarven
Shrine?!?
23. TANGLE WIRE
3cc Artifact. Fading 4. At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player taps an untapped artifact, creature, or land he or she controls for each fade counter on Tangle Wire.
Rattlesnake: Medium-low
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Medium-low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Low
To survive
An early
Nantuko Shade rush,
Goblin Medics
Love to trip wires
Each turn.
What else works?
Immobilizing Ink?
Retraced Image?
Elegant mammals like Graceful Antelope?
22. CALTROPS
3cc Artifact. Whenever a creature attacks, Caltrops deals one damage to it.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Low
Control has an
Ally in this card.
Lashknife Barrier heals.
To pump, use Narcissism.
Reincarnation can see a
Ouphe turn into a
Petradon.
Sting with a Bullwhip as needed.
21. CURSED TOTEM.
2cc Artifact. Players cannot play any creature abilities requiring an activation cost.
Similar Cards: Null Rod does the same thing for artifact abilities.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Medium-low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium-low
Can’t
Use
Repentant Vampire’s threshold ability,
Spiritmonger’s colorchange or regen,
Ertai, the Corrupted’s locks, or
Discard effects of Wild Mongrel.
Triggered
Or continual abilities are fine:
Treva the Renewer,
Eladamri Lord of Leaves, and
Mindslicer.
20. ARMAGEDDON CLOCK
6cc Artifact. During your upkeep, put one doom counter on this. At the end of your upkeep, this deals X damage to each player, where X is the number of doom counters on this. During any upkeep, any player may pay 4 to remove a doom counter from this.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium-high
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium
Similar Cards: Copper Tablet is an automatic one to everyone, unadjustable.
CoP: Artifacts is an old school combo.
Lifegain is loathsome, but understandable.
Odyssey block combos include
Clever Transcendence tricks and
Kamahl, Pit Fighter beatdown.
19. BARBED WIRE
3cc Artifact. At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, Barbed Wire deals 1damage to that player. 2: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt by Barbed Wire this turn.
Rattlesnake: Medium-high
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium
When played in team,
It really shines.
Restricted Sol Ring is
Everything you need.
18. DRAGON ARCH
5cc Artifact. 2, Tap: Put a multicolored creature card from your hand into play.
Similar cards: Quicksilver Amulet and Belbe’s Portal, for differing conditions and mana costs, also put creature cards into play at instant speed.
Rattlesnake: High
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Low
Do not play until
Round seven.
Activation threat will
Guarantee survival.
Only gold cards will work, so
Noble Panther looks good.
At the higher end,
Rith is king, and
Cromat will
Have a chance to play abilities.
17. LEGACY WEAPON
7cc Artifact. WGRBU: Remove target permanent from the game. If Legacy Weapon would be put into the graveyard from anywhere, shuffle it back into your library instead.
Rattlesnake: High
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Very low
Plankton: Medium low
Late game dominance,
Even if you
Get only four colors early.
Add
City of Brass and
Yavimaya Elder to smooth mana.
What do you target first?
Enchantments that deny mana, then
Ashnod’s Altar styled combo pieces, then
Phyrexian Reclamation and
Other recursion like Ichorid; finally,
Nomad Decoys and other minor control elements.
(Okay, that’s the least poetic acrostic you’ll ever see. But Legacy Weapon isn’t a very poetic card.)
16. SMOKESTACK.
4cc Artifact. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a soot counter on Smokestack. At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player sacrifices a permanent for each soot counter on Smokestack.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium-high, increases with time
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Very low
Synergy with other cards
Makes this different than
Old-school standbys like Wrath.
Keep counters high, and use
Eternal cards like
Squee, Devoted Hero,
Treefolk (Weatherseed),
Avenging Angel, as well as
Cantrips like Aven Fisher and
Kingfisher.
15. STORM CAULDRON
5cc Artifact. Each player may play an additional land during his or her turn. Whenever a land is tapped for mana, return it to its owner’s hand.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: High
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium
A good intermediate step toward an Upheaval!
Sensing now that
Too many acrostics may be
Overkill, I’ve been occasionally
Reducing these double-word deals to a
Mere one word.
(And you thought that
Long-suffering readers
Of Casual Fridays wouldn’t
Notice your
Guileful reduction of poem-related
Information?
– The Ferrett)
14. THRAN WEAPONRY
2cc Artifact. Echo. You may choose not to untap Thran Weaponry during your untap step. 2, Tap: All creatures get +2/+2 as long as Thran Weaponry remains tapped.
Similar Cards: Infinite Hourglass.
Rattlesnake: Medium-high
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: High
Three months ago,
Hard questions on this
Rocked me on Level I Judge
Assessment.
Note the following:
When you tap this,
Every creature in play,
As a set,
Pumps together.
Once the ability resolves,
No new arrivals
Receive the bonus.
Yes, that’s Level III-confirmed.
13. TEFERI’S PUZZLE BOX
4cc Artifact. At the beginning of each player’s draw step, that player counts the cards in his or her hand, puts them on the bottom of his or her library, and then draws that many cards.
Rattlesnake: Medium-high
Gorilla: Medium-high
Spider: Medium
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Medium-high
Plagiarize has another combo –
Use it while you can!
Zur’s Weirding will make things even
Zanier, but who knows if it works?
Let cards go to the bottom –
Eventually, you’ll see them again.
12. VISELING
4cc, 2/2 Artifact Creature. During each opponent’s upkeep, that player takes one damage for each card in his or her hand minus four.
Similar cards. Rackling is the opposite number, penalizing empty hands. Iron Maiden and Wheel of Torture are the non-creature artifact versions of these cards. They are both based on classics – Black Vise and The Rack.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Medium-high
Spider: Medium-low
Pigeon: High
Plankton: Low
Vaults”mass draw” decks
Into respectability for group play
Sensible complements include
Evacuation, and
Land denial such as Sunder.
Indentured Djinn seems obvious,
Noetic Scales is a bit more subtle.
Gurzigost is a great countermeasure.
11. ANGEL’S TRUMPET.
3cc Artifact. Attacking does not cause creatures to tap. At the end of each player’s turn, tap all untapped creatures he or she controls that did not attack this turn. Angel’s Trumpet deals 1 damage to that player for each creature tapped this way.
Rattlesnake: High
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Medium-high
Plankton: High
Aggressive artifacts:
Not very common.
Get the game moving.
Expect early exits, and
Let walls do their work.
Serra Angels don’t belong here –
Tramplers,
Ragers with haste,
Utility creatures,
Masters of first strike, and
Powerful flyers are
Efficient choices.
Tap out? No such thing!
10. JINXED IDOL
2cc Artifact. During your upkeep, Jinxed Idol does 2 damage to you. Sacrifice a creature: target opponent gains control of Jinxed Idol permanently.
Similar cards: Jinxed Ring penalizes losing cards to the graveyard; you sack a creature to donate it as well.
Rattlesnake: High
Gorilla: Medium-low
Spider: Medium-low
Pigeon: High
Plankton: Medium-high
Just one extra creature
Is all you
Need.
Xenic Poltergiest can scramble your
Egg from Odyssey into
Desperately needed Idol breakfast!
9. WINTER ORB
2cc Artifact. Players may not untap more than one land during their untap phase.
Rattlesnake: Low
Gorilla: Very high
Spider: Medium
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Negligible
Obvious with Stasis.
Reach for something more innovative (Mungha Wurm?)
Be careful of the backlash.
8. PHYREXIAN SPLICER
2cc Artifact. 2, Tap: Choose flying, first strike, trample, or shadow. Target creature with that ability loses it until end of turn. Another target creature gains that ability until end of turn.
Rattlesnake: Very high
Gorilla: Medium
Spider: Low
Pigeon: High
Plankton: Medium
See that flyer over there?
Pull its abilities away,
Latch them onto a creature of yours.
Instant super-man!
Combat phase is best timing,
Even if you’re not involved.
Reinforce your play with Ghitu War Cry.
7. HORN OF GREED
3cc Artifact. Whenever a player plays a land, that player draws a card.
Rattlesnake: Medium-low
Gorilla: Medium-high
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Low
Plankton: Very high
Have a problem with this card?
Only a killjoy would
Rack and Ruin this, unless
Nev’s Disk was the other artifact.
6. HELM OF AWAKENING
2cc Artifact. All spells cost 1 less to play.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: High
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Medium-low
Plankton: Very high
How could this be bad?
Every player
Likes cheap spells.
Mongrels cost G!
5. HOWLING MINE
2cc Artifact. During each player’s draw step, that player draws an additional card.
Similar cards: Well of Knowledge gives each player an opportunity to pay mana for more cards.
Rattlesnake: Medium-low
Gorilla: High
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Medium-low
Plankton: Ultimate
Many players run four
In complete altruism
Never Disenchant, unless
Excellent reasons exist.
4. BEAST OF BURDEN
6cc, */* Artifact Creature. * equals the number of creatures in play.
Rattlesnake: Medium
Gorilla: Very high
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Ultimate
Plankton: Low
Before panicking,
Unleash an Earthquake.
Reams of tokens will
Die, leaving an
Enfeebled Beast in dire
Need of CPR.
3. ENSNARING BRIDGE
3cc Artifact. Each creature with power greater than the number of cards in your hand cannot attack.
Rattlesnake:
Gorilla:
Spider: Ultimate
Pigeon:
Plankton:
“Ultimate spider” doesn’t mean a lot when it comes to artifacts; but this is pretty much the nastiest surprise you can spring on a group game, especially early on. Instants you can flush out of your hand (including madness-ready spells), creatures that pump like Nantuko Shade, and a host of other elements make the Bridge an excellent candidate for new multiplayer decks.
Bees and Bats,
Regeneration through Patchwork Gnomes,
Ice (or Fire) for opponents’ Tims,
Discard through Bottomless Pit or Compulsion, and
Ghitu War Cry with goblin hordes, are all
Excellent win conditions.
2. PORTCULLIS
4cc Artifact. Whenever a creature comes into play, if there are two or more other creatures in play, remove that creature from the game. When Portcullis leaves play, return to play under their owner’s control all creatures removed from the game with Portcullis.
Rattlesnake: Very high
Gorilla: Very high
Spider: Medium-low
Pigeon: Very high
Plankton: High
Printing out this card’s
Oracle
Rulings is
Tradition for the Hall.
Clever players
Use many of the
Leaves-play, enters-play tricks.
Last time I checked, the
Inimitable Faceless Butcher
Sets off triggers both directions.
* If the creature that triggered Portcullis is no longer in play when the ability resolves, then it fails to do anything. [Duelist Magazine #25, Page 31]
* Creatures which are phasing in will not trigger this card’s ability. [D’Angelo 98/04/13]
* You only check the count of the number of creatures in play during resolution. The creature will not be removed if the count is 2 or less. [D’Angelo 98/04/17]
* If Portcullis phases out, and something prevents one of the creatures from coming into play (for example, a Clone has no target), then the creature remains out of play and can try to enter play again the next time Portcullis leaves play. [bethmo 98/05/02]
* The”when Portcullis leaves play” is not part of setting the creature aside, so it does not happen if Portcullis’ abilities are at the time it leaves play. [D’Angelo 99/06/01]
* If multiple creatures come into play at the same time, Portcullis triggers for each creature. [bethmo 99/05/26]
* If multiple creatures come into play at the same time, Portcullis sees the creature count as being the new total after all the creatures are in play. Don’t handle this like creatures coming into play one at a time. [bethmo 99/05/26]
* If multiple creatures come into play at once, due to Living Death for example, then Portcullis will trigger on all of those creatures. The player controlling Portcullis decides the order to resolve the Portcullis triggers and therefore chooses which two creatures stay in play (assuming that none were already in play… if some were already in play he might not really get a choice). All the others get yanked by the Portcullis. [D’Angelo 98/06/11]
* If any creature comes into play which has a”comes into play” ability (see Rule E.3), that ability is still applied even if Portcullis removes that creature from play before you resolve the ability. [D’Angelo 98/06/11]
* If any creature comes into play which has a”comes into play” ability (see Rule E.3), you need to use the timing rules for triggered abilities (see Rule A.4) to determine the order to put the triggers on the stack. The rule is that first the current player does all of their triggers in any order they choose, then the other player does all of theirs in any order they choose.
* [D’Angelo 99/06/01] The result is that if the current player controls Portcullis, they can do their creatures'”comes into play” abilities before or after Portcullis removes creatures from play, while the other player always resolves their creatures'”comes into play” abilities before Portcullis. If the other player controls Portcullis, the current player always does their creatures'”comes into play” abilities after Portcullis, then the other player can do their creatures'”comes into play” abilities before or after the Portcullis removes creatures from play.
* Note – Also see Comes Into Play Abilities, Rule E.3.
1. NEVINYRRAL’S DISK.
4. Nevinyrral’s Disk comes into play tapped. 1, Tap: Destroy all artifacts, creatures, and enchantments.
Similar cards: Powder Keg.
Rattlesnake: Ultimate
Gorilla: Ultimate
Spider: Low
Pigeon: Medium-high
Plankton: Medium-high
Deed’s older brother,
It reigns
Supreme as
King of the artifacts.
NEXT WEEK: We close out the Hall with lands and black cards.
Peace,
Anthony Alongi
[email protected]
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