CASUAL FRIDAYS #145: The Pearl Hall Of Fame

The first thing you need to know about white is that Wizards really ought to keyword”attacking does not cause [this] to tap.” It’s a simple word: Vigilance. I use it in the database version of the Hall, so now you’ll know what I mean.

The second thing you need to know about white is that Type I casual players have had very little to add to their monowhite decks for the last, oh, three blocks. Yeah, I’d put rebels as the Last Great White Mono-Mechanic. (This would hold for multiplayer and Standard/Block tournament play.) Only two new cards are in the top ten for white… And then nothing else since Prophecy.

That’s not to say that white doesn’t get interesting ideas from time to time. Gustcloak, while at face value an inferior combat mechanic to classic non-tapping vigilance, may do some intriguing things in group play. For now, I’m keeping a potential bomb like Gustcloak Savior off the Hall – but I’d be willing to entertain lobbying. My gut tells me that tapping to send an alpha strike at an opponent now comes with a tiny bit less cost – if he doesn’t block, he might die and you have one less opponent to worry about. If he does block, you probably still have a defense. Beyond that, it’s a real corker for the defender. If I take the strike, my attacker is left wide open for the rest of the field. If I block, I may lose a creature or two and his forces reload to defend.

Here is the (for now, gustcloak-free) Hall for white:

The Order Of Things

This color is all about law and order, and its heavy-gorilla cards represent that. The classic sweep cards – Wrath of God and Armageddon – are represented in other cards that tend to do more – in particular, Mageta, the Lion and Balance. (Also representing Wrath of God: Rout, whose instant speed merits a slot; and Akroma’s Vengeance, which outshines Purify. Armageddon also gets a cousin in Limited Resources.)

But for all of that, white’s gorilla rating is far below the other four colors (which all rate 4.0 or over). The reason is because beyond those select few cards, white doesn’t seek to shatter the board. It’s all about protecting resources, not smashing them.

And to compensate, the rattlesnake rating is far above the others. Part of this is the ability to put out permanents that threaten stiff retaliation (like Parallax Wave or Glory making blocking schemes useless), and part of this is the”invulnerable” mechanic of white seen in Solitary Confinement and Story Circle.

One thing I noticed while constructing white’s list was how many old-school cards were getting picked off, or set aside as similar. This isn’t disdain for the elderly among you – this is simple arithmetics. We are approaching the point where cards released after I did the first edition of the Hall (right after Exodus) is challenging the number of cards released before then. Add to that the clear intention of Wizards to make more multiplayer-friendly cards in recent years, and you’ve got some old cards running scared.

Spongebob Whitepants

Two of the most unusual cards in the Hall – Wishmonger and Oath of Lieges – may surprise you from being rated so highly. They’re an unusual mix of pigeon, plankton, and cockroach -“the more of us there are, the more that can repeatedly activate this kinda cool effect!” And all I can think of when I describe these animal elements together is Spongebob Squarepants singing the hokey F.U.N. song with the eeevil Plankton. This makes me think of Plankton’s verses (“F is for fire, burning the town down/U’s for uranium…bombs!/N is for NO SURVIVORS…!”), which cracks me up.

So Wishmonger and Oath of Lieges both make me laugh. Now you know why.

Well, Glory Be!

Can I just spend a paragraph on Glory here? Good night! This thing is a beating in group play. The mana requirement is not insignificant – I have a B-w deck that’s having trouble activating it as much as I’d like – but I cannot even begin to tell you how ferocious this thing has been. It keeps opponents’ armies away, helps my own aggressive offense past potential blockers, and sends removal elsewhere… And that’s before it dies! Once it can give protection, it is a ringing bell of doom for your last couple of opponents. I have Genesis with the tiniest of point advantages over Glory, but at times I’m absolutely certain that Glory is the best of this excellent creature cycle. What a terrific mechanic incarnations are for group play!

White”Bread-And-Butter” Staples

From what’s happening to white’s staples, I would agree with many readers (and R&D staff) that white has been getting shafted lately. The apparent movement of Disenchant to green makes sense from a color perspective, but raises serious questions about how well white can continue to supply good utility to decks of all types. While we can hope that more efficient weenies and flyers help fill some of the gap, they’re going to have to get really good. (Whipcorder and True Believer are pretty good starts on the ground; the air force still needs work.)

Then again, who am I kidding? White is my least favorite color. Beyond a sort of Soviet-Union-collapse, who-is-our-enemy-now feel, what do I care if the Bleach Boys tank?

The staples:

• Swords to Plowshares, the efficient removal that some Internet voices don’t understand is too good to reprint,


• Disenchant, the next source of whining for white mages as they see it move to green,


• Soltari Visionary, a beautiful wrecking ball to enchantment-based decks,


• Wall of Glare, which like the next entry is unspectacular but highly efficient in the early game,


• Angelic Wall, which like Diving Griffin can hold the air until help arrives,


• Shelter, a swell combat trick or response to most removal,


• Whipcorder and an excellent rebel to use in finding him, Defiant Vanguard,


• Mother of Runes, which may not survive before going active like Benevolent Bodyguard can,


• Embolden, which acts as both surprise and threat (and just missed the Hall), and


• (the rare) Serra Angel, the original vigilant card.

When it comes to white weenie, you’ll also want to look up rares like Savannah Lions and Paladin en-Vec. My comment about Swords notwithstanding, I’m curious to see how close Wizards can push white removal toward it. Chastise is not good enough, but it’s getting close. I’d be curious to see how Wizards would price an actual Swords now, and/or how far they would be willing to go at a price of W (and Unified Strike won’t cut it). The truth is out there – we just haven’t found it, yet.

Find A Mistake? Act Like A White Mage

With four more parts of the Hall to go, this is a good time to tell my more anal-retentive readers that it’s open season on any mistakes or inconsistencies you find in the Hall. At the end of this series, I’ll release a single spreadsheet with all cards listed together. While I’ve had my stuff proofed by friends and editors, so many cards, so many entries, and so much sorting and other silliness means sometimes mistakes happen. So if in any of the Halls you find a casting cost that isn’t correct, or find a comment that doesn’t seem to match the card, or whatever, please let me know quickly. You’ll be doing me, and other readers, a favor.

Peace,

Anthony Alongi

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