The Combat Phase – Spanish Castle Magic

As you read this, I am in sunny Madrid. I have no doubt work is pissed at me for being here. See, in six days I start my last week of work at the high school. So, I’m sure they’re asking, who takes a week off twelve days before they leave forever? Well, I do, and I have a very good excuse.

It’s my beautiful Spanish girl’s birthday. And it’s been five weeks since I last saw her. And I’m not waiting another three for when we meet up in Florida.

Hey, can I ask a favor? Yeah? Thanks!

Click this link and post “Happy Birthday Wendy!” in her comments section under her latest entry. I’d really appreciate that. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

(Cue Jeopardy music.)

Back? Okay, let’s talk some Magic then.

I continue to work on Beast Attack! Refining and perfecting. There must be a way to upgrade this a level. No one’s going to play it as a B level deck. More importantly, I’m not going to qualify with it in this shape. It has to be better. I continue to change out cards and refine it. After a couple of games where my opponent is left low on life and I have no way to punch through the last few points of damage, I even remove the Beast Attacks and the Baloths. Of course, this makes me wonder what I can name the damn thing if I remove the Beast Attacks…

I post a version to my boards that I think is A-dot-mazing.

12 Forest
1 Pendelhaven
4 Ghost Quarter
4 Chrome Mox
4 Search For Tomorrow
4 Llanowar Elves
4 Boreal Druid
4 Scryb Ranger
4 Beacon of Creation
4 Iwamori of the Open Fist
4 Kodama of the North Tree
4 Creeping Mold
4 Mwonvuli Acid-Moss
3 Overrun

Sideboard
4 Chalice of the Void
4 Krosan Grip
4 Tormod’s Crypt
3 Hail Storm

Now that looks like a thing of beauty to me. Iwamori is a house right now. That guy has no drawback in Extended. He is better than Juzam. Even back in the day, when Juzam was good and Dark Ritual fast mana was Black… he is better than that. Do you know that with Chrome Mox you can have a second turn Acid Moss or a second turn Iwamori? Suck that, Watchwolf.

Smash
You
In
The
FACE!

You know what’s a good card to play after your opponent plays Wrath of God?

Beacon of Creation.

You know what’s good to play after that?

Overrun!

You know what happens when you play a deck with 8 Elves, 4 Scryb Rangers and Beacon of Creation?

Goblin Sharpshooter. That’s what happens. That card is insane.

And you know what Iwamori lacks?

Flash. Oh yeah, and Flashback. And can’t be sacced for 4 life.

I look at my beautiful creation and it gets smashed in three 8 mans in a row. Like it was nothing. Like it didn’t have huge face smashing fatties at all. Three tournaments + 12 Tickets + 3 first round losses = Zero Packs won + keyboard-smashing frustration.

There’s too much discard. A ton of people just empty your hand, kill your Iwamori, and fly in with Ichorid. Beast Attack and Call of the Herd help against that. I am reminded of last week’s article where an opponent emptied my hand on turn 3 and I crushed him turn 5.

At one point I try adding in Elephant Guide and Moldervine Cloak, since a 4/4 Scryb is pretty good. Especially since Aggro Loam players hurt themselves pretty bad all on their own, thanks to all the fetchlands they have. I constantly get them down to three or four life, and wish I could fly in for the final points. Yeah, as for enchantments – Loam runs Hull Breach, killing your Mox and whatever Enchantment you have out making you feel pretty dumb.

Opponent – Hymn your permanents!
Jankfield – I am so bad at this game!

Enchantments are bad. Starting to think Mox are bad too.
A fast start with Elves and a Mox = Devastating Dreams for one.
Seems hopeless sometimes.
Tool.
Tool.
Tool.
Time to re-tool.

I leave work on Friday at noon. I get home and have an hour to finish packing, call Wendy, call Lorelei, check things over, and then Doug is driving me to the airport. Lorelei’s not home. I call Wendy and tell her I’m about to leave.

“Don’t come get me at the airport. My plane arrives at 9am and I don’t want you to have to get up that early.”
“Don’t be silly, or course I’m going to pick you up.”
“I can take a cab.”
“I’ll meet you at the airport at nine and we can take a cab together.”

Look, I hope people understand, but it’s time for me address something here. Last year, in an event that so very much reminds me of pages ripped from a George R.R. Martin novel, our heroine died. The heroine of this long long story. It was beyond tragic.

If you would like to see what I did then, and what I have done since to honor that heroine, and people’s reaction to my actions, the entire story is on my website. If you want a good cry, I suggest you go read that.

Unlike just about everything in my life, I kept my grief private. It is not written. It seems some people had a rough time not being able to experience that grief with me. I write about everything. People read about my life. They follow along with the massive failures as well as the stunningly, almost lottery-winning good luck that leads to success. They cheer, they weep, they laugh, they cry.

This was all explained to me by my incredibly wise and giving friend, Lorelei. Some people feel a chapter is missing, since there isn’t a chapter about my grief. They didn’t get to go through that with me. So, it comes as a shock when I continue on with my life. It comes as a shock that I have a girlfriend. I just want people to understand, accept, and not judge me when they find out –

The story has a new heroine. I hope you will welcome her.

Anyway…

Doug drives me to airport, and long time readers know how much I hate flying. I’m getting used to it, though. Doesn’t bother me as much as before, since I’m learning it’s an irrational fear. Safest way to travel. Superman even says so.

Oh my God, was that movie awful! Brian Singer’s version of Superman is a Deadbeat Dad who is trying to seduce Lois away from the new man in her life? Singer’s explanation of Superman and Clark both disappearing for five years, and reappearing at the same time, is NOTHING?! Is to IGNORE IT?! Superman lifts an entire ISLAND made of Kryptonite into the sky? Then, when he falls to Earth, they put him in a darkened hospital room?!

So much anger. Superman is my favorite superhero. Always has been. Always will be. And the director who made the absolutely fantastic X-Men I and II makes a movie as bad as Ang Lee’s “Hulk.”

How is that possible?

And the critics gave it good reviews.

So much hate.

Anyway. I’m getting better at flying, but I’m not perfect. I go to the airport bar and a woman who looks like the American personification of “Grandma” is tending bar.

“Yes deary, what can I get you?”
I sh** you not. That’s what she said.
“Double shot of Jack Daniels.”
“Oh my.”
I sh** you not.
I drain it in one gulp.
“Oh my!” she says.

I make it through security with zero hassle. The guards are talking about Taco Bell versus Hooters. No, I don’t understand either. I sit in the secure area for thirty minutes before we can board. I’m seated next to a good-looking blonde who appears to be about my age. I chat her up, since I’m now thin and getting carded when I buy alcohol in a strange place. We sit on the runway for 45 minutes.

Turns out we have a lot in common. Her mom died of cancer five years ago. She’s a cancer survivor. She works in a high school as a computer teacher. Separated from her husband. Heading to Florida to meet up with a girlfriend she met playing online games. After about 30 minutes of this it’s clear she wants me. So I tell her about Wendy and flying to Madrid. Moving to Madrid in a few weeks. How great she is. Her face droops.

(Am I kidding, or is this artistic license? I don’t know, what do you think makes a better story? Just kidding. It’s all real. She wants me bad.)

The flight goes fine. No turbulence, and I’m not nervous even though my Jack wore off long before we even got into the air. I get inside JFK and she’s waiting for me.

“Here’s my card. I’d love to read your next book when you get it finished.”

Yeah baby, thanks but I’m taken.

I head to Burger King for some sustenance, and by the time I get to my terminal, they’re allowing us to board. Some good. And… another delay. We sit on the runway for an hour. Forty-five minutes later they start serving drinks. I’m not nervous at all, but I do want to sleep. I get a couple shots and it still takes me an hour to fall asleep, and I sleep fitfully the whole way there.

Yeah, okay, time for some code. Because, you know, this is a Magic site. Wendy watches me play Magic Online sometimes, but doesn’t know how to play yet. She gets the basics, but we haven’t actually played a game. This trip, I have four decks put together with very basic cards that illustrate the strengths, weaknesses, and themes of each color. Here’s the code part. By the time you read this, we still will not have had a chance to play Magic.

So anyway, I get off the flight, we’re thirty minutes late, I get through customs without so much as a glance, and there is my beautiful Spanish girl. Smiling at me behind the rail. Ah, to be back in Madrid. Some good. Madrid has its problems, though.

What am I going to do without some insanely funny sidekick to entertain my readers? I’m not a good writer. I’m a reporter. I’ve just been blessed to hang out with comedians. It used to be Alan Webter, now it’s Joshie. I better hope to find someone funnier than me in Spain that needs a straight man, or my articles are going to suffer. For instance – Thursday is Hot and Sour soup day with Joshie, Dan, and Sam. They are wishing me well on my week away, and subsequent follow-up long term away. Joshie always has to chime in with something high-dash-larious.

“I think you and Wendy are going to make it.”
“I think so too. That whole ‘madly in love with her’ thing kind of helps.”
“Unless she has some horrible flaw you’re not aware of.”
“She doesn’t.”
“What if she has a penis?”
“She doesn’t!”
“Well, have you checked?”

How can you respond to that with anything other than a disbelieving stare and then laughter? I could say “Yes, I’ve been there, there’s no penis” but based on the impish grin on his face I’m pretty sure it was a rhetorical question.

I’m getting way off track here. Where was I? Oh yeah…

Yeah, as for enchantments – Loam runs Hull Breach, killing your Mox and whatever Enchantment you have out, making you feel pretty dumb.

Opponent – Hymn your permanents!
Jankfield – I am so bad at this game!

Enchantments are bad. Starting to think Mox are bad too.
A fast start with Elves and a Mox = Devastating Dreams for one.
Seems hopeless sometimes.
Tool.
Tool.
Tool.
Time to re-tool.

I change the deck to include tramplers and fatties. I lose. Then I lose again. And one more time.

I change the deck back to Call of the Herd and Beast Attack and then face off against mono blue counters.

Oh
Yeah
Baby….

Despite Hiber(insane)nation and Draining (insane) Whelk, a Chalice of the Void for two shuts off his Memory Lapse, Remand, Counterspell and Mana Leak.

Go Go Narrow Decks!

I win the 8-man. Go Go Beast Attack! GO GO BEAST ATTACK!

Thank you Richard Feldman and Zac Hill! I had tried Chalice of the Void before, but not in this deck. But so far in the side, it’s been invaluable in multiple matches. It allows me to beat counters, and Affinity in the following round when a Chalice for two makes him concede. I think it was their excellent analysis of when and where to use the Chalices, in what match-ups, and their blatant man-love for the card, even in the main. I follow their fine example and move the Loaming Shamans to the side and the Chalice to the main.

Watch what this does against TEPS (That Extended Piece of S… Oh yeah, family site.)

MLGreen joined the game.
MLGreen chooses to play first.
MLGreen keeps this hand.
Recital keeps this hand.
MLGreen skips their draw step.
MLGreen plays Forest.
MLGreen plays Boreal Druid.
Turn 1: Recital.
Recital plays Geothermal Crevice.
Turn 2: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Forest.
MLGreen plays Chrome Mox.
MLGreen plays triggered ability from Chrome Mox.
MLGreen plays Mwonvuli Acid-Moss targeting Geothermal Crevice.

Turn 2 I now have five mana on the board, while he has zero.

This is why I don’t add more land to the deck. Yes, I know it’s tempting. Yes, I know there are times when you have to mulligan to zero. But those times are few, and it’s a risk you have to take in order to thicken your quality draws in the late game.

Turn 2: Recital.
Recital plays Tinder Farm.
Turn 3: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Forest.
MLGreen plays Ravenous Baloth.
Turn 3: Recital.
Recital plays Tinder Farm.
Turn 4: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Mwonvuli Acid-Moss targeting Tinder Farm.

How can he recover from this? C’mon. Tell me how sexy this deck is. Tell me this isn’t fun.

MLGreen plays Forest.
Turn 4: Recital.
Recital plays Geothermal Crevice.
Turn 5: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Chalice of the Void. (X is 2).

Why doesn’t this guy just concede? While not actually serving to the head, this feels just like smashing him in the face. To the temple! Oh! Recover from that combo boy!

Turn 5: Recital.
Recital plays Chrome Mox.
Recital plays triggered ability from Chrome Mox.
Recital plays Chromatic Sphere.
Turn 6: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Pendelhaven.
MLGreen plays activated ability from Pendelhaven targeting Boreal Druid.
Turn 6: Recital.
Recital plays Rite of Flame.
Recital plays Chrome Mox.
Recital plays triggered ability from Chrome Mox.
Recital plays Chromatic Star.
Recital plays triggered ability from Chromatic Star.
Recital plays Channel the Suns

Let’s just cut to the chase.

Recital plays Rite of Flame.
Recital plays Chromatic Sphere.
Recital plays Chromatic Star.
Recital plays Rite of Flame.
Recital plays Seething Song.
Recital plays Tendrils of Agony: targeting MLGreen.

Wow. That is so not the way I thought the game was going to end…

I side in some Krosan Grips.

Game 2.

MLGreen plays Chrome Mox.
MLGreen plays triggered ability from Chrome Mox.
MLGreen plays Llanowar Elves.
Turn 1: Recital.
Recital plays Tinder Farm.
Turn 2: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Pendelhaven.
MLGreen plays Call of the Herd.
Turn 2: Recital.
Recital removes Lotus Bloom from the game with 3 time counters.

Holding two Krosan grips, an Acid Moss, and a Search for Tomorrow.

Recital plays Geothermal Crevice.
Recital plays Chromatic Sphere.
Turn 3: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Search for Tomorrow.
Turn 3: Recital.
Recital plays triggered ability from Lotus Bloom.
Recital plays Duress: targeting MLGreen.
MLGreen discards Mwonvuli Acid-Moss.
Recital plays Sulfur Vent.
Turn 4: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Chalice of the Void (X is 1).

Setting it to two didn’t work last time, let’s try it at one this time.

Turn 4: Recital.

Let’s just cut to the chase again.

Recital plays a whole bunch of stuff generating a huge Storm.
Recital plays Seething Song.
Recital plays Infernal Tutor.
Recital plays Burning Wish.
Recital plays Tendrils of Agony targeting MLGreen.

Okay, yes, that sucked. But I think my point of actually showing you getting owned like a… like a… like something that gets owned really hard, is that the deck can beat That Extended Pile of S… but sometimes TEPS just wins anyway. But as you can see, it has the cards to do so. It has the ability.

This is getting long, and Wendy wants to go for a run soon. Let me finish up this little journal entry.

Wendy takes me back to her white marble-floored apartment and we drink a couple bottles of wine and play Magic for three hours, and then take a three-hour nap. I wake up and she’s reading “A Storm of Swords” next to me. I get some coffee and we play a couple more games of Magic, and then it’s time for some food.

We head over to a restaurant right next to her apartment, but they’re closed. It’s too early for dinner in Madrid. It’s only 8:30 pm.

A lot of things are different in Madrid.

Did you know there’s no Sprint or Verizon Wireless? I thought those were global companies. Nope. I need a whole provider.

You know what families do on a Sunday night? They all go out for a stroll. Can you imagine being in an American city and nine o’clock at night entire families are going for a leisurely walk?

Milk isn’t refrigerated until opened.

Wendy has 2-3 gallons in her cupboard.

When I pour cream into my milk, the expiration date is July 7, 2007.

Hot and Sour soup has a lot more vegetables in it. Still tastes almost the same, but crunchier.

Living statues that beg. I walked by a statue. Mono colored. Covered in mud or wet clay. Wendy says, “Ah, a living statue.”
“What, that’s a person?”
“Yes.”

I look closer. There’s a small plate of coins in front of her. I drop three in. Her hand raises slowly, robot like and waves to me once. It takes thirty seconds. I can’t stop giggling.

Lets finish this up with some Magic.

As far as non-sexual things go, there is one thing that makes me extremely happy in the morning. Smashing face at Magic. Winning an 8 man Extended tournament with a deck of my own design, right when I get up, almost insures that I am going to have a good day.

My opponent is playing that Zoo Variant that uses Tribal Flames and Gaea’s Might.

Game 1 is a quick loss for me. I get a slow draw; he comes out of the gate both barrels firing.

Game 2 is best summed up like this:

MLGreen plays Forest.
MLGreen plays Chrome Mox.
MLGreen plays triggered ability from Chrome Mox.
MLGreen plays Chalice of the Void (X is 1).

Which shuts off over half his deck.

MLGreen plays Chalice of the Void. (X is 2).
CoolJets has conceded from the game.
Playback finished… Exiting

Next round I play a guy playing very few basic land. Like. One.

MLGreen plays activated ability from Ghost Quarter targeting Skycloud Expanse.

He goes and gets an Island.

MLGreen: Damn, you have basics. Oh well
MLGreen plays activated ability from Ghost Quarter targeting Urza’s Mine.

He goes and gets nothing. Sweet.

MLGreen plays activated ability from Ghost Quarter targeting Urza’s Tower:

And again, of course, he goes and gets nothing.

MLGreen: but not so many…
Bard_Taliesin has conceded from the game.
Playback finished… Exiting

We actually go to three games, but Beast Attack and Call of the Herd don’t much care about Wrath or light Counterspells.

Here’s the version I’m playing now. Enjoy.

Jamie