It is all I can do not to head down to the local store (two of which are nearby) and buy up a couple hundred dollars worth of cards and tell you about my experiences playing in Spanish Magic tournaments. I long for that day. One is on the way to our gym, and as we were walking by one day they were having a ROE release tournament. Having been to the Pro Tour, I know that language is not usually a barrier to playing, but at the same time, I understand I need to know each and every card in English so I can respond appropriately. And since Wendy and I are returning to Vermont in two weeks (thank God) I feel it will be just better to wait until we return to attempt this. Until then, more Magic Online.
Checking my account, I see I have three event tickets left, which means I need to sell something, or win a two-person tournament and rebuild my fortune. I decide to join a tournament.
My opponent is exactly the type of player I despise. I’m sorry, but it’s true. His deck has Jace, Ponder, Brilliant Ultimatum, Esper Charm and tons of elimination. His only win condition that I can see is hoping I die of boredom or starvation on the other side of the screen. I win the second game with an Overrun and then, despite Vines of the Vastwood saving a couple of my guys, I eventually just concede the last game when he plays Brilliant Ultimatum for the third time and I can only think “I’m done. Laundry is more exciting than this.”
I don’t play Magic to sit endlessly, idle, bored, while you fondle your deck.
Excellent. I have returned to Magic just as U/W Control becomes the most powerful deck in Standard. Again.
I wanted to end this brief interlude to say “I would quit playing Mono Green if I wasn’t smashing so much face with it.” Now that I have lost, and cannot end with that sentence, I guess I will do some play-testing with a Green-Red deck that I put together because I cannot resist the siren call of token generators or my obvious need for direct damage.
Creatures (28)
- 4 Birds of Paradise
- 4 Sparkmage Apprentice
- 4 Dragon Broodmother
- 4 Master of the Wild Hunt
- 4 Cunning Sparkmage
- 4 Dragonmaster Outcast
- 4 Leatherback Baloth
Lands (26)
- 12 Forest
- 10 Mountain
- 4 Jungle Shrine
Spells (8)
Sideboard
As you can see, I’m a great believer in creatures that do double duty, replacing instants and sorceries with Sparkmage Apprentice and Cunning Sparkmage.
Without actually making this mistake, I immediately realize in the first few turns that Sparkmage Apprentice, Bird of Paradise, Wolf Tokens, Cunning Sparkmage, Dragonmaster Outcast… and Pyroclasm in the sideboard… is not much of a combo.
I get another scroll fondler as my first opponent for this new deck. His first turn he plays Ponder. Then he plays Explore, which is a card I need to immediately get four of. Then he plays Hailimar Depths and I’m thinking — Seriously? Then he plays See Beyond and I concede. It’s a weakness of mine, I’m sorry. Besides, my deck needs some serious work before I play this atrocity again. I like decks that, every time you want to fondle your deck, I get to burn you in the face. Hence –
Creatures (24)
- 4 Birds of Paradise
- 4 Sparkmage Apprentice
- 4 Dragon Broodmother
- 4 Master of the Wild Hunt
- 4 Cunning Sparkmage
- 4 Dragonmaster Outcast
Lands (26)
- 12 Forest
- 10 Mountain
- 4 Jungle Shrine
Spells (10)
Sideboard
LOVE the sideboard cards in Red that allow me to blast scroll-fondlers.
Before I test this, I’m going to have to break for some hair of the dog. It’s gotta be noon somewhere. Oh wait, it’s noon here. Not that it matters, in Madrid, beer is considered a breakfast cereal. Why do I need some hair of the dog? Because last night was a little rough.
Twenty bottles of wine, seventeen karaoke songs and exactly twelve hours later, the barbarian hordes have left.
For the first time ever, I am so glad my family doesn’t read this column.
We had a party on our terrace for the Madrid holiday of San Isidro. It was not our usual crowd and we seriously underestimated them. We invited ten people. Stefan brought five liters of homemade beer in a keg. We had bought seven bottles of wine and a twelve pack of beer. At seven in the evening I went out for six more bottles of wine and more beer since the keg was gone. At nine, Beth and I went out for eight more bottles of wine, another six pack of beer and two bags of jamon flavored potato chips. Oddly enough, everyone was still in good shape. But honestly, by two a.m., I was thinking, when is this going to end?
Highlights include Wendy and I singing karaoke to Rick Astley, a twenty-year-old beard was shaved (the beard was twenty-years-old, not the man), TWENTY bottles of wine and cases of beer were drunk. A sixty-year-old woman passed out on our spare couch. Wendy’s long time friend, who I was dancing with changed the words from Rick Springfield’s song “I wish that I had Jessie’s Girl” to “I wish that I had Jamie’s girl.” Repeatedly. Making her the second friend of ours that has hinted that she would like to get Wendy naked. Sadly, also making her the second girl that I could not figure out how to make that happen…
It was quite a night.
Luckily, it ended shortly after that because frankly, after twelve hours of grilling, cleaning dishes, dancing, and entertaining, I was ready to collapse. Despite the fact my plastic surgeon says I look like a child, I am not young.
It is the next day and I need some cereal before play-testing.
The first game is against a deck I want to build. Essentially, Eldrazi Temple, Eye of Ugin, Overgrown Battlement and huge fat monsters. I draw a lot of land and the spawn of Cthulu eat me.
Why am I playing this crap? I want to go back to my mono Green deck. Fine, I’ll give in to reader pressure and try another game with my two color deck. How is this not working anyway?
In the next game, I play a very nice guy and we are having a great chess match. He is playing White Weenie and I have two Cunning Sparkmage. They are some good against White Weenie. I also play a first turn Dragonmaster Outcast and I am very excited because I have never seen him in play on my side of the board. So, of course, he’s dead soon after. But that’s okay because I have two Dragon Broodmothers and enough land to play them. I kill some of his crap, he kills some of mine and then I finally get to play a Broodmother.
Um, why do you guys keep secrets like this from me?
Each upkeep?
As in – his and mine?
Why has no one told me they reprinted Verdant Force as a Red Dragon?
I have found a new calling; it is time for me to put some serious work into this deck.
Let’s try this —
Creatures (28)
- 4 Birds of Paradise
- 4 Dragon Broodmother
- 4 Borderland Ranger
- 4 Master of the Wild Hunt
- 4 Cunning Sparkmage
- 4 Dragonmaster Outcast
- 3 Pilgrim's Eye
- 1 Ondu Giant
Lands (24)
- 10 Forest
- 10 Mountain
- 4 Jungle Shrine
Spells (8)
Sideboard
The thoughts that go through my head as I build this are many and varied. Overrun? Trumpet Blast? Less focus on tokens? More direct damage? Llanowar Elves, yes or no? Is Lady Gaga the anti-Christ? Shouldn’t I get something eat today besides liquid breakfast cereal? Am I onto something or has this deck been built a dozen times already? More land or more land-fetching? I guess we’ll see.
Game one in the Tournament Practice Room —
Test game one is unreal.
He plays Mountains and Font of Mythos. I think “What is this crap?” In response, I start Bolting him for all I’m worth. Then he Burst Lightning, Lightning Bolts me, I untap, draw three cards and he plays two Runeflare Traps and kills me. How cool is that? I tell him his deck is awesome and GG. He says thanks.
Test two is bizarre. Playing against Jund, I split a Fireball on a bunch of things, the interface says damage is two and yet, nothing dies. He attacks for the win. My opponent sends me a tell “hahaha, cya newb” and concedes the match so he doesn’t have to play me anymore. Ah, the joys of being anonymous on the internet. I am betting he would not say such things to my face.
Test three is against U/B – Ponder, Howling Mine, Tome Scour, Hedron Crab, attempt to run you out of cards, which he does just before the turn I would have killed him.
So, I’ve won zero games. Impressed yet?
Next game is U/W Tome Scour, Howling Mine, Halimar Excavator dot deck. I’m starting to see a familiar theme here. I finally win one but I’m seeing that Evan Erwin is a genius and my dream of returning to Magic when there is a combat phase is pretty much over. While I am loving this new deck, I cannot help but remember “When I cast Overrun, I win.” This new deck is mid-range and that’s not going to cut it in today’s environment.
Game 2 he Spreading Seas my first three lands and then plays Jace. While I am trying to figure out how I am going to deal with that, he gets tired of me tapping and untapping lands so he just concedes so he won’t have to play my bad newbish self anymore.
I keep wondering why I’m playing this deck. Super Friends destroys mid-range decks. This is definitely a mid-range deck. And I miss my Overrun.
Wendy is going to be home soon from the dressmaker, and I want to try out one more deck. Elves are pretty fast. Let’s try those. My opponent is, once again, playing U/x and I smash him in five turns. Is there ANYONE not playing Blue this week? Is there any reason I shouldn’t just be trying to kill my opponent as fast as possible when everyone is trying to make U/x work?
I get up this morning and check StarCityGames.com for info, and read three articles about three different U/x decks (All with 4 copies of Jace) and how everyone is going to be playing U/x or Jund at GP: Washington.
I try some elves again this morning and wisely play an Eldrazi Monument to fly over for the win on turn 6.
Vampires kill me in the next game, and I’m just not feeling it. I rework the deck some more and just don’t like it, and it uses too few Eldrazi cards. I need to revisit some other decks.
I just played this against Jund.
Creatures (31)
- 4 Llanowar Elves
- 4 Elvish Archdruid
- 4 Master of the Wild Hunt
- 4 Arbor Elf
- 4 Leatherback Baloth
- 4 Khalni Hydra
- 3 Mul Daya Channelers
- 4 Pelakka Wurm
Lands (23)
- 23 Forest
Spells (6)
Sideboard
I feel like Stella just got her groove back.
In the second game, when someone cascades into a Doom Blade, targets your Leatherback Baloth, and you get to draw four cards and gain five life — that is a good feeling. Or when someone tries to Maelstrom Pulse your two Llanowar Elves and you cast Vines of the Vastwood foiling that plan — that is also a good feeling. And then you play Pelakka Wurm. That is nice.
Oddly enough, the Overruns might have to go. I feel the need for more synergy in the sense that cards like Khalni Hydra and Leatherback Baloth and Pelakka Worm all combo very well with Momentous Fall and Living Destiny. A suddenly kicked Vines of the Vastwood on a 7/7 or 8/8 trampler should be effective enough to win the game, right? Vines also could combo well with 4 Giant Growth or Might of Oaks in the sideboard. Side out some of the bigger guys against Super Friends or anyone running Jace and turn the deck into Stompy. As was pointed out to me in the forums, against Polymorph decks, Vines of Vastwood main is a beating.
The beginnings of this deck just have all the cards I love right now, with the ability to just win against some things. I want to be able to attack with a deck that, if needed, will just kill you with +4/+4 and +3/+3 on some weenies while you play land fetch tricks and look at the top three cards of your library. I also cannot escape the fact that Leatherback Baloth is huge. Mul Daya Channelers are amazing every game, being a 2/2 that taps for two mana or a 5/5 monster. Master of the Wild Hunt is a must kill card for every deck. And as you well know, having a deck filled with 4/5’s, 5/5’s, 7/7’s, and 8/8’s is fun for me. And with Vines of Vastwood and Momentous Fall, I actually have a way to either protect them, or draw a lot of cards, which wouldn’t be as important in a deck not like this. And with monsters costing seven and eight mana, Living Destiny is a perfect sideboard card against the other fast beat decks, like Red.
I rework it slightly into this.
Creatures (28)
- 4 Llanowar Elves
- 4 Master of the Wild Hunt
- 4 Arbor Elf
- 4 Leatherback Baloth
- 4 Khalni Hydra
- 4 Mul Daya Channelers
- 4 Pelakka Wurm
Lands (25)
- 25 Forest
Spells (7)
Sideboard
I miss my Overruns. but this just feels more strategic to me. You know what I just did in its first test run? I cast a Mul Daya Channelers on the second turn, and on the fourth I sacrificed it for five life and five cards. Tricky McTrickster, that’s me! Jamie Wakefield actually using card-drawing spells — who would have ever thought that?
And yes, I know, everyone is wondering why all basic Forests? Because I really like lands that don’t enter the battlefield tapped or cause me pain. Because I like games where I get a 4/5 or a 5/5 on turn 2. Because that’s just the way I roll. And without a ton of tokens, there’s not that much need for the Vastwood.
Then I tried this in the two-person tournament room against a mono White deck. He was mana boned in the second game, but the first was kind of competitive. I have creature superiority, but he has some threats. My top card becomes a Llanowar Elf so my Channelers become 5/5. I attack with everything, he blocks very carefully and then uses Path to Exile on my Pelakka Worm. Well, he TRIED to use it but I countered with Vines of the Vastwood, with kicker, to bash him for eleven instead.
I know names are powerful, and I wish I had time to read the forums again and thank the people by name that suggested this card to me, but I am running out of time so I must just say “Thank you. Thank you very much.”
I entered the two-person tournament room again and lost the third against Red, but only because I drew two Living Destiny and nothing bigger than three mana to cast with it.
Admittedly, I also just lost a game to Super Friends, but the deck showed promise. He beat me in a very long first game, the second game a 5/5 Channeler and Baloth punched him in the face a couple of times, but in the third, I got a very slow start. I think the sideboard needs to be tweaked for even more speed. Still, it was a lot of fun.
“I make my Gideon Jura have ten loyalty and make your Pelakka Wurm attack him.”
“Okay, Giant Growth my Wurm, say goodbye Gideon! And now, since you have a Baneslayer Angel on the board, and I don’t care if you Wrath her away, I will cast another Pelakka Wurm going up to 34.”
“Okay, I will attack, then cast Day of Judgment.”
“Okay, I will draw two cards. Untap, play Khalni Hydra.”
“When you attack, I will Exile your Khalni.”
“I will cast Momentous Fall and draw a full grip.”
And yet, somehow I still lost.
I have been looking for this deck. I have been wondering if I can get up to speed enough to hit the first qualifier the weekend after we get home, and what will I play? I will need to order cards from StarCityGames.com, but what? What will I need?
This deck is what I need. These cards. This is what I will be playing, with slight modifications as play-testing continues. Most of the cards are useless in any other deck, yet, (IMHO) all of them come together like a fine recipe when put together. You have to be playing a ton of land and creatures to see how powerful Channelers are. Baloth is just amazing, and really only works in Mono Green. With all the elimination in the format, Momentous Fall and Vines of Vastwood are just stunning at either protecting a huge threat, or drawing you a bunch of cards. Living Destiny can only work in a deck with such huge creatures. You will never convince me that Pelakka Wurm is not a good card. Going up to 34 life and drawing two cards is just too fun. Khalni Hydra? Yeah, make that work in another deck.
All it needs now is a clever name.
Jamie C. Wakefield
www.JamieWakefield.com