Does zero truly exist? It is the absence of something, but if there is an absence, then that means there is nothing. And does that mean that nothing is a thing? Maybe, but the very word ‘nothing’ breaks down into ‘no’ and ‘thing’. At the very least, we understand that there is a lack of something.
In Magic, on the other hand, zero is so much more than nothing. It is the dream mana value. There’s no math needed when you cast something that costs zero, and that includes some of Magic’s most powerful and iconic cards.
But when we look past those, what do we have left? I wanted to take a look at some of the other zero-mana-value cards in Magic that spark joy, some that y’all might not know of!
Ashnod’s Coupon
Let’s start out with my favorite zero-mana-value card of all time: Ashnod’s Coupon. When I look at this card, I get the biggest grin on my face. I truly love this card. It captures the essence of the local game store (LGS) experience. Everyone has at one point had someone look at them and go, “Hey, can you grab me a drink?” or “Hey, you can just pay me back with a drink.”
Tapping and sacrificing Ashnod’s Coupon makes it so that target player buys you a drink. Sure, according to the errata, you have to pay for it, but let’s just ignore that part of the card, shall we? The terms and conditions on the bottom absolutely kill me, and while, yes, this isn’t a legal card, it still captures a piece of LGS culture that has stayed prominent since 1998.
The Kobolds
This list is full of funny silver-bordered pieces, so in order to balance them out, I have to talk about some legal cards, specifically the Kobolds. These cards, aside from Rograkh, Son of Rohgahh, are old as sin, coming out in Legends.
We have Crimson Kobolds, Crookshank Kobolds, and Kobolds of Kher Keep. These are serious Magic cards, but boy howdy, do they kill me. All of them cost zero mana and are 0/1 Kobolds, and yet they all look different! Crimson Kobolds looks like a Hyena/Werewolf hybrid. Crookshank looks like a weird purple Goblin. And don’t even get me started on the Kher Keep gang. They look like a gang of children trying to steal my lunch money. The lack of cohesion plus the hilarious, archaic Oracle text makes me love these three cards so much.
Jack-in-the-Mox
I know, I know. I said I wasn’t going to talk about Moxen in this article, but I have to make an exception for the iconic Jack-in-the Mox! Originating in Unglued and reprinted in Unsanctioned, this card does exactly what an Un-card should do. It’s an inside joke to enfranchised Magic players. It does everything ever Mox does (and more) and features the return of Dan Frazier with his iconic Moxen art.
Back in the olden days of Magic, this card was wild and wacky, but in the year of our Lord 2024, this is a card I could see actually being made, as we have tons of die-rolling and coin-flipping in black-bordered sets. I love this card because it represents a clear line of how card design has evolved over the years.
Urza’s Contact Lenses
I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. Urza was taking some detailed notes when he attended that seminar on branding. Dude has his name (and face) on everything. He has the Liberator, Sunglasses, a Bauble, a Chalice, you name it! He has everything, so it should be no surprise that he has some Contact Lenses.
This card essentially functions as an artifact version of Telepathy. I will say that the clapping ability does puzzle me. Is this a reference to that clap-on light from the 80s? When you clap on, hands are revealed, and when you clap off, they are put away? I am honestly unsure (please let me know what you think), but I still find this to be such a funny little jab at Urza’s narcissistic desire to be known. If he were on Earth, he’d definitely have an alpha male podcast where he sells listeners on his Armor, his Filter, his Fun House, his Hot Tub, his Incubator, and all his other stuff.
Blacker Lotus
And of course, we have to end on the most iconic zero-cost card. That’s right, it’s Blacker Lotus. Screw Black Lotus! It has nothing on Blacker Lotus. This card flies in the face of everything a Black Lotus stands for. Black Lotus represents wealth, prestige, a collector’s item to be valued and protected. Blacker Lotus says who cares, as it begs you to rip it to shreds…literally! Another thing that makes this silly little card special is that it features art by Christopher Rush, the artist of the original and iconic Black Lotus. Like the other cards on this list, it is silly, yet also captures a small bit of heart from the origin of Magic itself.
Zero Is the Magic Number
When we think of cards with zero mana value, we think of the Alpha Moxen, Jeweled Lotus, Black Lotus, and Mana Crypt. We think of cards maintaining an insane power level. But they aren’t the only ones. There are handfuls of other cards that have the same mana value, but are either completely ridiculous or joke cards. I find it fun to look at the two side by side. Not everything is a Jeweled Lotus. Sometimes we get a Bone Saw, and that’s okay. Happy mathing, deckbuilders!
