Jurassic Park was a large part of my childhood. I remember snuggling up in blankets watching the movies on VHS with my parents. The movies used to terrify me as a child and enthrall me as a teenager. The practical effects were everything to me, so to see these terrifying Dinos on Magic cards is exciting (if a bit jarring to me).
My feelings on Universes Beyond change with each set drop we get, and we’ve only seen three teasers for the Jurassic World Collection (three-letter code: REX), and yet, I find myself incredibly excited for what’s to come. Sooooo, let’s speculate!
So I know we only get 26 Jurassic World cards, so I only wanna cover the highlights, starting with one of the most iconic moments in the franchise. I want to see a card depict one of my favorite scenes: Clever Girl. I know we are definitely gonna get some Velociraptors in this group of cards (more on that later), but I am practically begging to see this particular moment.
The Velociraptors were arguably the scariest part of the first film. Their razor-sharp teeth, talons, and intellect made them a formidable opponent to the terrified attendees of the park. They even managed to trick and kill the badass Muldoon (aka if Chuck Norris and Steve Irwin had a baby).
While I’d love for this to be a creature card, I definitely see this as being an instant that has another creature you control fight another target creature. It just has that gotcha energy that instants have, and I really hope I’m right about this.
The Barbasol Can
I genuinely have no idea how this would work in terms of licensing because it’s a brand within a brand, but if there is no Barbasol Can, we riot. This can has been through the wringer in this franchise, being washed away after a Dilophosaurus attack and eventually making its way to a shelf in Jurassic World: Dominion.
This card absolutely has to be an artifact that does something with DNA counters. Something like, pay mana to tap it and place a DNA counter on it. Then you can pay an absurd amount of mana and sacrifice it to get Dinosaur creature cards onto the battlefield equal to the number of DNA counters on the can. I’m gonna be honest with you, I think I just designed a dope card, and if I nailed this design and we see it among the 26 cards, I should get an award for Best Psychic Prediction.
This is somewhat related to the Barbasol can, in the sense that they were both part of the same iconic scene. As a child, watching Dennis Nedry be blinded and eaten off-screen by the Dilophosaurus gave me legit nightmares. I do not recommend reading this part of the original novel because it is even more gruesome and horrifying than what we saw in the movie.
There are a handful of iconic Dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies, and I firmly believe that the Dilophosaurus is one of those creatures. Maybe it gives other creatures -1/-1 counters (à la Infect). I see it being a small creature, maybe a 2/3, but it definitely has to do something with -1/-1 counters. It weakens its prey by spitting venom, so why not translate that mechanically? If we don’t get a Dilophosaurus creature, I really hope that we at least get a depiction of this horrific moment…for funsies.
Trembling Glass of Water / Objects in the Mirror
These two scenes are without a doubt the most iconic scenes of the entire franchise. They have become immortalized in pop culture, being parodied in multiple movies, shows, and video games. These two scenes will forever be burned into my brain…so why not have them pop up in REX? When it comes to these two scenes, I find it hard to predict how they could be translated to Magic.
The glass of water scenes makes me think of trample and the mirror scene makes me think of haste. Maybe instants that temporarily give a creature trample or haste until end of turn? Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me what these cards would do, so long as we see them translated in some shape, form, or fashion.
Blue and/or the Velociraptors
This is inevitable. Let’s be honest with ourselves. The Velociraptors have essentially become the mascot of the franchise (I would argue larger than the T. rex nowadays). It makes sense that we should see some depiction of a Velociraptor in REX. My hope is that we see the Velociraptors in the kitchen. My fear is that we see Blue.
Why is this a fear? Well, it all comes down to personal preference, but I really don’t vibe with the revitalization of the franchise. When Jurassic Park was teased as coming soon in Universes Beyond, I was excited. I was less so when I saw that we are getting an Indominus Rex card. This tells me that we are definitely going to see some new franchise characters depicted in cards.
As a Jurassic Park lover, the World trilogy ended up being a huge disappointment to me. I really don’t want to see Chris Pratt on a Magic card or see the random weird clone girl on a card either, but who knows? While I’m not excited about it, I feel as though Blue is an inevitability among these cards. I think she will be legendary, definitely have haste, and maybe even have an ability titled Beta (as Owen Grady is the alpha). While I am hoping for a more classic depiction of the raptors, I would prefer Blue over Owen Grady, Claire Dearing, and Maisie Lockwood.
Beyond the Connection
I could go on and on with predictions and speculations on card design, but you’d be here for at least another two hours minimum. Jurassic Park inspired little baby Chase to want to be a paleontologist. While I make a living creating content about a children’s card game, I find this IP visit to have somewhat reignited that interest in me. And that’s what Universes Beyond is all about. It’s about making connections to things that we love, whether as a child or an adult. We are all connected by one great nerdy web, and as of right now, I think Universes Beyond is only strengthening those connections. Now… how cool would it be to see the Jurassic Park Jeep as a Vehicle?!
Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Happy gene splicing, deckbuilders!