Yawgmoth's Whimsy #133: Being the Second Head

Life has a way of reminding you that everything you do – and don’t do – has consequences. For me, it was forgetting to inherit great wealth, so I have to work for a living. Not only does work eat nine to ten hours a day, plus commutes, but it also requires you to do totally non-Magic things, like bathing. There’s just no time left to sling spells.

Kids – working life sucks. Never, ever, graduate from college.

Anyway, all that explains why I’m playing casual games online now. It’s not my preference. Real life starts with “Hey, how ya doing? How’s the kids?” and moves on to jokes and general blathering. Magic: Online starts with “hi, gl, hf” – or nothing. About half the players do not chat at all. Socially, MTGO is a bust – but when there is no real-life option…

An aside: How cool would it be to have live voice chat during MTGO games? Of course, that would require servers and the bandwidth to support it. The US has crappy broadband. (In the USA, the average home gets dial-up only; cutting edge is DSL at 500kbps. Japan has 1Mbps connections as a common occurrence, pushing for 80 percent of homes at 20Gbps within a couple years.) Voice chat requires bandwidth, which would require a supporting infrastructure – not gonna happen. But I digress.

I have built decks for a number of multiplayer formats online. I usually play Two-Headed Giant, since the games are not overly long and because I don’t have any of the board sweepers or other cards to do well at bigger free for all games. Besides, Two-Head is fun.

I still don’t have a very big online collection. I have played a fair number of leagues, and a handful of drafts, and at this point I have three or four of most Mirrodin block commons, 1-3 of most of the uncommons, and a weird selection of rares. Kamigawa Block is even worse. That makes it hard to build highly-focused decks – but it does make it seem like old times. I remember years of building theme decks, or framing out deck structures, then trying to find cards that would work. (Look at some of my early articles for examples.)

The most common Two-Head format in the multiplayer room is Extended, so that’s the first deck I built. I played a mono-green deck, since the majority of the good cards I have opened are green, and because I like the color. The other reason was that aggression was pretty much the only role open to me in multiplayer. I did not have the cards to be the control player, or the partner to answer the opponents’ threats, or to race to a game-winning combo. That left either the partner who provided enough threats to keep the opponent directly opposite occupied, or the partner who basically sat there and did nothing. The second role was not appealing, even if I have seen it a lot online.

My very first online deck was pretty bad. I was playing such all-stars as Nantuko Disciple and Trained Armodon, because that’s what I had. Here’s a slightly later incarnation, as best I can recall it:

1 Birds of Paradise (FOIL!)

3 Rushwood Dryad

3 Elvish Pioneer

1 Humble Budoka

2 Vine Trellis

1 Gnarled Mass

2 Trained Armodon

3 Horned Troll

2 Wood Elves

2 Sakura-Tribe Elder

2 Spined Wurm

1 Llanowar Behemoth (FOIL!)

1 Fangren Firstborn

1 Viridian Zealot

1 Spitting Spider

1 Moss Kami

1 Thorn Elemental

3 Predator’s Strike

1 Beacon of Creation

1 Strength of Cedars

1 Kodama’s Reach

1 Giant Growth (FOIL!)

1 Reclaim (usually used to Reclaim Predator’s Strike)

1 Vulshok Battlegear

1 Naturalize

22 Forests

Of course I played the foils because they were foils. Shiny!

Yes, that list is less than sixty cards – it’s just what I remember. The rest was filler – even worse than what was listed. Probably Rampant Growth, maybe Craw Wurm. Yes, it is nothing special – okay, it’s a mediocre to bad draft deck – but it was what I could build. On the plus side, it curved nicely, had enough tricks, and could often overwhelm an opponent with a slow, defensive start.

Good games would start with Elvish Pioneer, Wood Elves, Fangren Firstborn, then attack for nine on turn 4 and Predator’s Strike whatever was being blocked. I could keep escalating from there, and often smash people for a ton fairly quickly.

Oh, yes, I also had a Rude Awakening. Smash, Smash, opponent finally clears all my threats, but at low life. Rude Awakening!

A lot of opponents concede to that spell.

Of course, other games consisted of me playing Elvish Pioneer on turn 4, and Llanowar Behemoth on turn 6, while my opponent was flying over with Exalted Angels and just waiting to Wrath of God away my board, if necessary. Which it usually wasn’t, unless my partner was doing better.

Open games – with random partners – are weird. Sometimes the partners are amazing and win the game on their own. Sometimes they do nothing. Sometimes they surprise you.

One game, my partner played a bunch of lands, some Sakura-Tribe Elders, a Kodama’s Reach, some card drawing and had cycled a Krosan Tusker. He wound up with nearly a double Domain in play, but his only non-land permanent was a Seedborn Muse – which was immediately burned to a crisp. He did practically nothing else all game, while the opponent flew in with assorted little fliers for more than enough damage to kill us. (The opponent had an interesting combo – white fliers, Soulcatcher’s Aerie, and Spawning Pit to sacrifice fliers to. Unfortunately for him, I killed the Aerie, but his horde of 1/1 fliers still did us in.)

Another partner had a huge deck – well over a hundred cards. He started playing stuff like Talismans and Myrs, while his opponent smashed him with a few random creatures. I was worried that although I had my side covered and had done a dozen points of damage, he might lose it for us. Finally, about turn seven, he played Seething Song, then dropped and activated Myr Incubator. He made sixty-six tokens, and on his next turn, played Myr Matrix and smashed the opponents to -96 life.

I have never seen anyone attack with almost six dozen 2/2 Myr before. It took him a while to declare them all as attackers, but it was still pretty cool. (I might have felt differently if he was my opponent, of course.)

Anyway, over time I acquired more cards. I played in a fair number of leagues, a few drafts, and bought a couple cards in the MTGO auction room, and a couple from another site I can’t name here. (I’d buy from StarCityGames but I can’t, because they don’t handle digital cards.) Here’s what I was playing, a couple weeks prior to the Ninth Edition release:

3 Elvish Pioneer

4 Sakura-Tribe Elder

3 Rushwood Dryad

2 Gnarled Mass

3 Troll Ascetic

3 Eternal Witness

3 Nantuko Vigilante

2 Fangren Firstborn

1 Rhox

1 Moss Kami

3 Beacon of Creation

3 Predator’s Strike

2 Kodama’s Reach

1 Giant Growth

1 Blanchwood Armor

1 Rude Awakening

1 Sword of Fire and Ice

22 Forests

It only had one Blanchwood Armor and no Llanowar Elves, because I wasn’t going to buy them when I was going – I assumed – to get them in Ninth Edition limited. Of course, I only found one Blanchwood Armor in all my Eighth Edition drafts (and I play a lot), and still have none after the first week of Ninth Edition leagues, but that’s life. (I do have one Umezawa’s Jitte, but I am not playing it here. I have enough rare/expensive/chase cards for casual play already.)

Nantuko Vigilantes are incredible. Having a Disenchant effect is important, when either opponent could have a Jitte, Hondens, or some other annoying enchantments or artifacts. When those are not around, then the Vigilante is a colorless damage source that beats for two. I also own a Viridian Zealot, but having the creature stay around and attack for three after killing the artifact or enchantment makes the Vigilante better.

Besides, Zealots are expensive – Vigilantes are cheap…. In dollars, that is. In terms of mana cost, the difference is not that significant in multiplayer. Multiplayer is often a slower format. (Or at least they are when the games don’t involve sixty-six 2/2 Myr tokens.)

After a while, mono-green beatdown got a bit boring. It worked, although it could struggle against decks with lots of board sweepers, but it paled. I decided to add a second color.

I had a Beacon of Immortality. In online two-headed games, Beacon of Immortality doubles the collective life total, so it is close to broken. In it went. I also have Kodama’s Reaches and Sakura-Tribe Elders, plus a couple Elfhame Palaces, so color is not be a problem. However, the inclusion of the Plains and Elfhame Palaces means that the Beacons aren’t quite as good. I needed a replacement.

I have two Pristine Angels – one opened in league play, the other a gift from someone who liked my weekly series on starting MTGO. That was a great gesture, and it is nice to get a chance to play with them. He also supplied some Loxodon Warhammers, which are also pretty sweet in two-headed play.

I dubbed the deck “Stupid Lifegain Deck,” both because Lifegain is a nOOb trick, and because Beacon of Immortality is stupid in online Two-Headed games.

Since Pristine Angels require instants to untap, I added a few more. I assumed I would have white mana once the Angel was in play, so Blessed Breath looked like the best option of the cards I owned. After further thought, however, I may replace them with either Healing Salve (which keeps the lifegain idea going) or Shelter (once I get them) because of the cantrip effect. Healing Salve would also allow me to save my partner or my partner’s creatures.

I’m still playing my Foil Giant Growth, although I may break down and get a couple Wax/Wanes. They, like everything from Invasion block, are way too expensive, but the versatility is very nice.

Two-Headed Lifegain

Peter Jahn

Test deck on 09-04-2005

Casual

Creatures (21)

Lands (20)

Spells (18)

When I opened my Copperhoof Vorracs in league play, I was pissed. I wanted Oblivion Stone, or Solemn Simulacrum, or Tooth and Nail. However, Growing Boy (as he was called in playtesting) is always kind of silly in multiplayer, and he’s much more fun when his power and toughness are calculated automatically. He has been well over twenty power already – but that’s usually just during an opponent’s untap step.

The only better online multiplayer green fattie is Forgotten Ancient. Forgotten Ancient grows extremely quickly, especially if you get him out early in the game. (Not that I have one, yet, but I have faced them.)

I trotted this deck out a couple times. I did get some wins, and some opponent concessions. At one point, an opponent had dropped a turn 3 Royal Assassin, and it tied up nearly everything. However, that kept my Prismatic Angel home to block, so life totals stayed high. When I finally did draw an instant, it was Beacon. Untapping the Pristine Angel took us to eighty-six life. (Angel of Mercy was in there somewhere.) Later on, a Troll wielding a Warhammer finished the deal.

I did not make any changes to the deck prior to the Ninth Edition release events. Sometimes when I played it, it felt underpowered – usually against great, expensive decks with board sweepers (like the guy with the all-foil deck, including foil fetchlands and foil Pernicious Deeds.) More often, I felt like I was overpowered for the casual rooms, and that my deck was unnecessarily rare-filled.

I played in a couple Ninth Edition release leagues (but never had enough uninterrupted time to play in the premier events.) I scored a Glorious Anthem, Beast of Burden, and Verdant Force, all in the same league. (Yes, when you get all three in play at once, it is pretty sick.) I also got a Brushland to replace the Mirrodin’s Core.

The other addition Ninth Edition has produced is Serra’s Blessing. This card isn’t great in duels, but it is pretty good in multiplayer. It also “combos” well with Pristine Angel. The only real drawback is that it becomes almost impossible to get the Loxodon Warhammer on the Pristine Angel when Blessing is in play. So far, I have only one Blessing, but I will add more when I get them.

Here’s the current version.

Two-Headed Lifegain

Peter Jahn

Test deck on 09-04-2005

Casual

Creatures (22)

Lands (20)

Spells (18)

I have had 6/2 trampling, vigilant, untargetable, regenerating Troll Ascetics in play. They seem to give opponents some trouble. I also had a vigilant Pristine Angel out at the same time. I lost that game, though – that was the one where my partner drew nothing, and we were killed by a horde of weenie fliers.

As I acquire more cards, I can see this deck improving. I will play more Serra’s Blessings, and fewer Blessed Breaths. The Birds of Paradise may leave, because the opponents react to the foil Birds (but I only own two birds total, so if I want to play Birds, I have to play the foil one.) (Or sell the foil one – but it’s shiny!) The other reason to lose the Birds is that I want some method of controlling fliers and clearing the skies. Arashi, the Sky Asunder is one possibility, as is Silklash Spider – it depends on which I open or trade for first. I also want to add some Wax/Wanes, and maybe add another Glorious Anthem if I can get one. The Sword of Fire and Ice is great, but I may get rid of it so that I have no targets for artifact hate at all. Finally, I have been keeping my eye open for a Forgotten Ancient, which is totally insane in multiplayer.

I may also make this into a Singleton deck. It is reasonably close already, and people are less likely to complain about a raft of good cards in Singleton. Here’s a start.

Singleton Lifegain

Peter Jahn

Test deck on 09-04-2005

Casual

Creatures (20)

Lands (23)

Spells (18)

Once I can get some, I will probably replace Rampant Growth with Seek the Horizon, City of Brass with Nantuko Monastery, and some random, marginal creature with Forgotten Ancient. I am probably forgetting some other good cards, but we’ll see.

Why play Singleton? In the above decklist, I only own one copy of twenty-two of the cards being played – eighteen if you count non-foil versions. Singleton is a great excuse to avoid four-ofs, since you have no choice in the matter anyway. It is also an answer to opponents that whine about the power level of your deck.

Besides, Singleton Two-Headed sounds like fun.

PRJ

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