Right now, I am on a plane, and this makes me the happiest man alive. I am using a laptop on my way to Japan, where I will compete in the 2005 World Championship for Magical cards. You’ll note that “compete” isn’t exactly an accurate description what I’ll be doing over the next few days… But I figure you won’t keep reading if I use terms like “flounder” or “belly-flop like a whale.” Someone will get the wrong idea, try to harpoon my ass, and serve me up in some swishy Tokyo restaurant. No, this trip is the greatest thing ever, right?
Well, eight hours into this ten-hour flight and I can’t claim to be on top of the world. What I suspect lies at the end of this flight keeps me from being completely suicidal. I mean, who flies for eight hours? I don’t even remember the first movie I saw on this flight, and neither can Julian (Brown-Santirso, second place, 2005 New Zealand Nationals.) While I’m typing this, Julian is looking up the movie using the in-flight magazine. Oh, right –Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The movie was okay, and I heart that Johnny Depp chap, but it really had nothing on the original version. The second movie shown was Bewitched, but I snoozed through that. The third film was another Will Ferrell vehicle titled Kicking and Screaming. Oh man, I felt like kicking and screaming after seeing that.
Let me describe my seat before I continue on about the awful state of in-flight entertainment. I’m in seat E of one of the exit rows on a 767, so that puts me dead in the middle of the isle. Julian is supposed to be in seat D, but he ninja’d over to the two spare seats on the left, and Luke (Tsavousis, third place, 2005 New Zealand Nationals) has moved from seat F to the aisle seat. This has left me alone in the middle, and I have no foot space to be kicking or screaming even if I wanted to. Now you’re probably thinking, “How rude! Who would even want to kick and/or scream on internationally-bound aircraft?” Not to worry though, I’m not that rude – I don’t have any people in front of me.
There’s a two-foot by three-foot projection screen no more than a yard in front of my face. Right now, it’s showing me a map of our flight towards Japan. Right now, the little airplane on the screen is past the Philippine Sea, and is sneaking up on Osaka and Tokyo. My retinas are suffering from prolonged exposure to Will Ferrell at a distance of no more than thirty-six inches. The map shows that we have only fifty minutes until we reach our destination of Yokohama. I guess I have around twenty minutes before I need to power this laptop down, which gives me just enough time to whine about Mr. Bean.
I don’t know if Mr. Bean has ever been shown in America (It has – Ben), but the fact that America hasn’t declared outright war on England tells me that most of you are fortunate enough not to have seen this show. Mr. Bean is an almost-silent slapstick comedy show centered around the antics of a goofy buffoon played by Rowan Atkinson.
Rowan Atkinson was the genius behind the character Blackadder – an effing brilliant comedy. There were four series of Black Adder, and while the first series was not quite so amazing, the other three are classic British comedy. In Black Adder, Rowan Atkinson plays The Blackadder – Prince Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh. Prince Edmund is mad tech and sarcastic clown prince extraordinaire. By contrast, the character of Mr. Bean is everything the portrayal of the Blackadder isn’t. Mr. Bean is certainly unfit for viewing, given that I’ve been cramped for most of the waking day.
It’s been a long day as well. It started with a seven-hour, back-breaking flight from Melbourne to Narita. This followed closely after a two-and-a-half hour, spine-torturing flight from Christchurch to Melbourne. I believe I topped off this day of suffering with only ninety minutes of sleep the night before – which itself came after a frenzy of last-minute sorting-of-cards and frantic packing.
That should you at least some idea of how well organized I am for this trip. Specifically, I am not. I felt ten times more organized for New Zealand Nationals than I am for this jaunt about the Pacific… But then again, Nationals was only a twenty-minute drive from my house. Okay, I’m not being entirely fair to myself. I did have to hook up some flights (done six weeks ago), book rooms in Japan (done six days ago), and prepare for the tournament itself. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m woefully unprepared for Worlds – a much worse feeling than having forgotten to eat breakfast before Nationals this year. I am prepared to be beaten upside the head by the eighteen or so people fortunate enough to be paired against me.
The one thing I did know, coming into Worlds, was that I didn’t want to be playing control mirror matches all day long. Professional players would mop the floor with me. With that one decision in mind, I set out to find an acceptable aggressive deck for the Standard portion of the event. Well, I still haven’t found one. I will be playing a bad deck in Standard – I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow after day one – but I full expect to be thrashed within an inch of my life.
Oh, and salt will be sprinkled into my wounds. By Will Ferrell. And Mr. Bean.
Fast-forward – I’m off the plane and have safely made it to my hotel room. I’m staying in the Yokohama Sakuragicho Washington, which is only a ten-minute walk from the Worlds venue. Good times. I am delighted to have a view of the famous Pan-Pacific Hotel from my window.
Getting here wasn’t the easiest, as the New Zealand National team (myself, Julian and Luke) managed to get thoroughly lost. We took a bus from the airport to the Yokohama Station, but had no clue how to advance to our hotel from there. Fortunately, a really nice young Japanese woman took pity on us, as we frowned disapprovingly at a station map on the wall. She led us up and down and around the labyrinthine station, until we were finally aboard our needed train.
We did try to sneak an early peek inside the tournament venue, but it was closed. We’ll have to wake up early and make sure we’re there on time for the late registration. We also need to buy sleeves. Still, even after the long trip and late arrival, we’re here. That is pretty darn good in my books. Good times, good times!
Talk to you tomorrow,
Ray
/(blisterguy)
//(actually in Japan)