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The Kitchen Table #382 – A Real Burn Deck

Want to learn how to make a casual deck that really burns? Abe tells you how he was first inspired to make his A Real Burn Deck, complete with holes burned into the middle of its cards. Get in on this Extreme Theme!

You may not believe it, but even after more than 400 articles for StarCityGames.com there are still many things from my Magic life that I haven’t shared in article form. I like keeping many things a mystery. The best example is Abe’s Deck of Happiness and Joy, a 2500+ Highlander deck that is my pride and…well… joy. I’ve had it for more than ten years, yet the first time I actually revealed the decklist was The Kitchen Table #329, a little more than fifty articles ago! I just teased the column with it for years and years.

Today I’m going to reach into my Magic history and grab a deck from the time machine that I think you will find quite interesting. Let’s set it up.

Lots of people have a few decks they lean on for tournament play. Let’s roll the clock to 1996-1998. One of my major decks at the time was a deck built around powerful red cards called Sligh. No article has been as impactful on my Magic existence as much as that one from a popular Magic magazine. If you were around then, then you recall reading about the exploits and theory of the Sligh Geeba deck. The idea of a mana curve was so revolutionary; you read it and everything changed. The deck was designed to use all of its mana every turn, no matter what turn you were on. If it had to use cards that were judged as substandard by the people of the day, such as Ironclaw Orcs, to do it then you did it, and it worked.

Some of the most powerful red cards of all time were printed right around this era. Fireblast met Lightning Bolt and Incinerate over lunch while Mogg Fanatic took the Jackal Pup for a stroll past where Ball Lightnings played in the Wasteland with Cursed Scrolls. Yes, Cursed Scroll and Wasteland were red cards. (Not really; they went into other decks, yadda yadda.)

Any format with these cards could add whatever creatures were legal to make a powerful deck. I ran Sligh in the first version of Extended, Standard, Block (but Scroll was banned there), and the kitchen table. I got so used to playing a Sligh deck through the years that I had sideboard strategies beyond most Sligh decks. My favorite sideboard card was adding Mages’ Contest into the deck. Control never knew how to play around it, and you could eviscerate their life total or counter a spell—whichever you needed. Since I knew how to play the card and my foes didn’t, they usually wound up on the wrong side of a life exchange.

Anyway, Sligh became my go-to deck when nothing else jumped out at me. After the printing of more burn spells, the deck took on a different look. Lightning Bolt wasn’t in many of the formats, but you had Incinerate, Shock, Fireblast, Cursed Scroll and more. Ball Lightning acted more like burn than anything else at times. Burn decks were the focus of the day.

I wanted to play a different sort of burn deck. I don’t remember how I came up with the idea, but in those days I created several Extreme Theme decks. One of my favorite examples was a Highlander deck where each card was the title of a different song. When I played the card, then I sang the song. You can’t imagine how awesome it is to sing "Wonderwall" by Oasis for the tenth time in a play session after dropping Wall of Wonder yet again.

This burn deck asked for some different cards. I built it around some of the lesser-known cards of the day and gave them a chance to shine. Included were commons such as Thunderbolt, Shock, and Sandstone Warrior. In some respects, it might more resemble a really well tuned Limited deck than anything else. I don’t recall any uncommons in it, and I know that I didn’t use any rares.

What made the deck an Extreme Theme? Excellent question! I would pull it out between matches at a local card store in Morgantown, WV called The Gateway. It’s not there anymore, so let’s have a moment of silence for it. Anyway, I would pull out this beaten deck from my pocket with a rubber band around the cards. Then I would take off the band, carefully shuffle it, and begin to play.

Oh, did I forget to mention that I burnt a hole into each of the cards with a lighter?

And thus the Burn Deck was made.

I don’t remember what happened to that deck. I’m sure it was misplaced in one of the many moves I had to make back then. I hadn’t thought of it in years until a few weeks ago. I was starting a candle aflame and held a Magic card in my hand. I wondered what it would be like to burn it, and then I remembered my project from ye olde days. That sounded interesting, and I had to build a new deck!

Like the first deck, I used only commons that I had lying around and not the best cards in the format. Instead, I focused on the mana curve and cards that worked. Let’s talk about the deck, show you pictures of a few burnt cards, and then discuss how to burn a hole in a card.

The Deck


As I mentioned, I wanted a real mana curve so we have ten one-drops. Sligh wanted to use every mana every turn, so if we have an extra mana we can use it for the kicker on the Bushwhacker or the equip cost on a Flayer Husk. The Bushwhacker in particular is great in this deck either as a decent one-drop or a nice two-drop. The Furnace Scamp can slip in for some damage and is happy to sacrifice to the greater cause and dole out three more damage.

Here’s the deck:

At the two-drop spot, Goblin Shortcutter clears a path by forcing our foe to not block with an important creature. It can force through more damage after a foe has believed they’ve stabilized without using a burn spell. My other "two"-drop is Dragon Fodder’s ability to spit out two 1/1 tokens as additional bodies for the cause. Ultimately, we want to attack with creatures for as long as possible to deal enough damage to win, and this gives us two for the price of one card.  

A small number of three-drops appear. Vulshok Replica is a 3/1 for three that can play the aggressive game or you can spend two mana when you have it to spare to deal another three damage to a player. A lot of these decks deal early damage with creatures and then finish things off with spell damage. This can serve either role or both and is quite flexible. I also have a single Koth’s Courier in case our foe can be Forestwalked. I needed a one-of, and it seemed like a solid choice. I wrapped up the deck’s creatures with two four-drop Gorehorn Minotaurs, which should almost always be a 5/5 when played. That beef will really change the game in your favor, especially if a foe believes they’ve stabilized their defense.

For spells, a mana curve applies as well. We have eight one-drop removal spells. The recent Pillar of Flame stops any recursion shenanigans from undying to Bloodghasts. Burst Lightning can play the role of a Shock or be kicked to a more powerful burn spell if you have it later in the game. Both of these assist the deck well.

I included a single copy of Harvest Pyre because too many often interfere with each other. Just one copy is sure to never be redundant, and we have no other means of using the graveyard. It will kill one creature quite well. I also added two Thunderbolts and two Staggershocks. One is homage to the old deck and suffices while the other gives you two removal spells for one card and investment of mana. Each of these later spells really helps the deck.

Lava Axe is perfect in this deck for so many reasons. Just two means you shouldn’t tend to draw them when you don’t need them. You’ll find that playing one against someone puts the fear of an Axe in their head. Your opponent will play around it and put themselves in a bad board position so that they can keep their life total at ten or so. This deck doesn’t have the sheer force of older burn spells. I’ve killed people in tournaments with a Bolt and two Fireblasts at eleven life after they thought they had stabilized. This deck can’t do that, but Lava Axe tells your foe it can and scares them. You don’t have to have many to take people out. You’ll also note that most of the other burn spells are at two damage. An observant foe may allow their life total to drop dangerously low to six or fewer life not expecting anything big and then bang—Lava Axe to the face!

Demolish is an unusual choice, but I wanted some answer to problem artifacts and lands. This gives you an emergency answer, and in a pinch you can always use it to Stone Rain a land and keep going when you are devoid of better targets. Like Lava Axe, once you start casting spells on lands people become confused. They think you have a different deck and alter their plan. They’ll often play their land differently.

The final card for this deck is Teetering Peaks. It’s a perfectly good bump for a creature to add that extra two damage. I find it also works well with both Goblins. Goblin Bushwhacker kicks for haste and pumps the team so you play this to increase the damage load from your surprise 2/1 hasty guy or an extra two from someone else. Or the Goblin Shortcutter can be played, you prevent your foe from blocking with their creature, and you drop this, pump a creature by two, and get in extra damage through a suddenly open defense. It also works normally with burn or early in the game before defenses have rallied, so it’s always good. It’s one of the better cards in here, and I like it.

I also really like how Flayer Husk plays, because after the creature dies you can amp up any other creature for extra mana. This deck enjoys that extra bump of damage and survivability.

Anyway, that’s the deck. Now let’s look at another picture and talk about the mechanics of playing with burnt cards.

How to Burn a Hole in a Card

Here’s how I do it. Take a lighter and place the tab that controls how big the flame is to the middle. This is like Goldilocks—you don’t want it too strong or too weak, but just right. Now grab a card of your choice. Hold the card parallel to the ground in your off hand and the lighter in the other. I aim the light at the white circle on the back of the card so that I’ll have a burn halfway up. Do that for about two seconds and pull away just as you see the front smoking.

Two cards, front and back, are shown here, zoomed it so you can see the detail.

Now turn the card over and place the lighter on the spot you just started. Sometimes you won’t see anything, but you know about where it is. A quick two seconds with the lighter marks your spot. Flip it back over and repeat for two seconds. This time, the card is likely to start on fire. Blow it off and flip one final time to the front and light again. Blow any flames down into embers and burn away a circle into the center of the card.

Your result should be a card with a burnt hole in the middle but little damage to the rest of the card. What I did for a lot of these cards was to let the fire burn for a bit. On the first return to the back, don’t blow out flames but immediately flip it back over and light it on the front so you will have it burning from both sides. Let that go on for two seconds or so then blow it out, and you’ll have a larger hole and scorch marks on the card. You can see both a smaller hole and a large one I let burn in the photo above.

About 15% of cards do something odd when you set a lighter to them. Instead of burning like paper and other inflammable materials do, some cards bubble up and then pop. A Magic card is actually two cards glued together, and a few burns bubble in the middle and separate the two halves. When this happens burn both sides symmetrically, but if you like the look stay with it. (Did you know the word inflammable does not mean, "Unable to catch fire," but actually means, "Able to catch flame quickly?")

After you’ve torched your cards, let them stay in a sink somewhere safe. Lingering embers may erode a bit more of the card. Come back after a few hours and tap them repeatedly against the sink wall to remove any ashes. Place the deck into a deck box at first. I have mine in a Lorwyn Tournament Pack box. You’ll have to push the cards down to fit because the burning expands the cards. Expect your hands to soil a little with soot. The first few times you play the deck sooty hands will follow, but that’ll wear off over time.

Shuffle the deck with some care because the cards are structurally weaker. I try to burn most of my cards where the art hits the bar and hits the top of the text box but without burning through the important bits of a card such as the name, casting cost, and text box. I sometimes stray into the box a bit just for fun, and I often cover up obvious info. What basic land type is this Mountain card? I wonder!

I shuffle on the sides of the cards rather than a traditional riffle. I often mix the two halves together in my hand rather than a table shuffle. Pile shuffling may help as well, but the stacks can fall over easily. As you play the deck more, it becomes more physically compliant.

If you want to make your own deck, go ahead! You can find lots of cheap commons from the recent sets to build around. I’m sure your deck stock has plenty of choices! Remember, don’t take Magic so seriously. Go out and burn a card!

Until later,
Abe Sargent