Single Card Spotlight: Brimaz, King Of Oreskos

Congrats to Tom, aka Wilko. You win.

You see, two weeks ago, Wilko was the first one on the dog pile for this here new column. He said he wanted me to talk
about Brimaz, King of Oreskos, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him down.

See, Brimaz is perfect–no, I’m not going to do the purr pun. Get out.–because he is legal and relatively competitive in every single format in
existence. Don’t believe me? Get a load of this, you naysayer!

Legacy

Death and Taxes

Phil Gallagher

2nd Place at Star City Games Invitational Qualifier on 01-11-2015

Legacy

Creatures (26)

Lands (23)

Spells (11)

Sideboard

Let’s start with Legacy, since it’s better than whatever your favorite format is. Ooh, burn.

Aside from Craig Wescoe, who in their right mind would play Brimaz in a format where you can Griselbrand on turn 1?

The thing about Death and Taxes is that it has a lot more going on than meets the eye. What it lacks in explosive game-breaking cheatery, it makes up for
with absurd amounts of efficiency. It doesn’t do a lot of things you would normally expect to see done in Legacy, but it does things that work against those things very well.

The deck has a tight core, but one of the interesting decision points of the archetype is its complete infidelity at the three-drop slot:

The deck is always waffling on which of these three-drops it wants to play, and they all obviously have their advantages and drawbacks. Personally, I can’t
imagine opting for Mirran Crusader or Brimaz, King of Oreskos over Flickerwisp at the moment, and I don’t know why more lists haven’t squeezed in a few
copies of this in the maindeck:

One of my favorite moments during Magic games is when players have that “awful realization” face. Brow-curled confusion precedes it, and eye-rolling and
self-loathing follow immediately after. Exiling an opponent’s creature with Flickerwisp while there’s a Containment Priest on the battlefield is one of
those moments.

Now granted, this trick isn’t a whole lot more than Mangara of Corondor was already doing (another timeshare holder in the three-drop vacation slot of this
deck), but I think with the new ban on Cruising–and thus, the return of Wasteland sometimes doing something-that Death and Taxes is another one of the
many benefactors.

So what does all this have to do with Brimaz? Truth be told, I just don’t get it. He seems like a reasonable ally to have around, but it is based purely on
his stupid modern-Magic rate, which in Legacy isn’t usually enough to cash the check. His big claim to fame was being able to attack and block without a
lot of mental gymnastics involved against the Pyro decks that made a bunch of little creatures. If those decks fall out of favor a bit with the loss of
Cruise, a lot of Brimaz’s niche utility is lost. Dig Through Time will almost certainly be the parachute that these decks try to deploy to stop the free
fall, but against a deck with Thalia, Wasteland, and Rishadan Port, I’m not sure you actually care about a deck that goes up top with a spell that costs at
least double blue.

You could also do worse than Brimaz and his disposable sidecar friends when blocking against a Batterskull, but I’m not sure you’re winning with that
boardstate underway regardless. Besides Porting them or Wasting them out of the back-and-forth bounce battering that usually follows, you’re buried by
tempo loss and their lifegain no matter what.

Another thing to keep in mind is that with delving becoming non-mandatory, Tarmogoyf should get better again, and that means Brimaz is not only a bad
Tarmogoyf, but a horrific loss of tempo against other fair creature decks as well. In those situations, I’d much rather just to take to the air with
Flickerwisp and Serra Avenger. Making the game an air race seems a lot better than sweating buckets as Brimaz looks at you nervously from the ground.

These are all arguments against Brimaz against other fair decks. Against unfair decks, it’s understood that he’s a joke.

In other words, Brimaz probably belongs in the sideboard of this deck for the time being unless the metagame somehow trends the same way it was been
trending despite the loss of Treasure Cruise. I like fair decks a lot, but Brimaz is nauseatingly fair even for me. I could see him being a reasonable
clock if that’s all you’re in the market for (lost cause matchup that you’re just trying to hammer away at?), but how much better is he there than Mirran
Crusader? At least Crusader matches up better against Tarmogoyf and certain lines from the Infect deck.

Maybe I’m just not a cat person.

If I was dead set on Death and Taxes at the Invitational in Richmond later this spring, (and being that it’s a fair deck with a lot of little bozos, I’m
not saying I’m not), I’d probably be messing with the usual gaggle of bums:

The sideboard would probably include a Brimaz or two, though I’d be shocked if I boarded them in more times than even something dinky like Mana Tithe or
Sunlance. Let’s get on with it.

Standard

This is more the cat man’s wheelhouse. See, something very interesting is happening with Standard. Picture the classic overextension scenario where one
player keeps marching a bunch of troops into a control player who has been holding the Wrath the entire time. I think we’re approaching a metagame where
the same dynamic is taking place.

The format continues to throw little donkeys headfirst into a three-mana wrecking ball. Who survives that, you may ask?

Dammit, not him again! The other guy!

There, that’s more like it.

You see, the power level of Monastery Mentor has people foaming at the mouth to continue their brigade of token-making nonsense. On top of that, Whip
decks are playing with the understood endgame of Hornet Queen-ing the place out. Red decks have more tools than before, Warrior decks are bound to pop up
somewhere eventually, and most importantly of all, Goblin Rabblemaster is still the default three-drop for all the red-centered decks that won’t overplay
Anger of the Gods because of the utter lack of synergy.

Enter the cat’s pajamas.

Mardu Control

Danny West

Test deck on 01-22-2015

Standard

Creatures (6)

Planeswalkers (2)

2 Chandra, Pyromaster

Lands (25)

Spells (27)

Sideboard

We’re still in the infantile stages of the format where it’s hard to say where all the pieces fit. Then again, before Fate Reforged, the format was still
expanding, so maybe this format has no other destination besides expansion. It’s like the atomic structure of the Universe except with more rhinos.

At any rate, when there are only five-mana wraths, a three-mana soft alternative feels pretty good. Every creature in this deck survives the ongoing
onslaught of misery, and W/U Heroic should lose a lot of the gusto it has against other decks by walking into Crackling Dooms and the like here. Having a
thousand kill spells to weave through their protection is also a welcome asset.

The biggest concern I’d have in the abstract is Abzan Aggro. Tasigur, the Golden Fang and Anafenza, the Foremost both come down early, and this deck is
loaded with burn that looks embarrassing against those cards. If your removal lines up well early (Lightning Strike for Fleecemane Lion, Crackling Doom for
Tasigur,etc.), then it’s possible you’ll be fine. Stormbreath can go on defense until you find a trump if nothing else.

The sideboard is a bit of a mish-mash, as is always the case when you’re dealing with young formats. One of the things I like to do when I’m unsure about
how matchups or the metagame are going to shake out is to sideboard a handful of powerful cards to do some heavy lifting for me. I may not know exactly
what my opponent is doing in the first few weeks of a format, but if the matchup doesn’t feel particularly dynamic or lopsided either way, jamming Sorin
and Elspeth together should do the trick a lot of the time regardless of what else is going on. End Hostilities can’t really compete with the utility of
Crux of Fate when you’re deploying Stormbreath Dragons, and Nyx-Fleece Ram is an oft-forgotten wall to stop the bleeding against the all-in aggro decks
you’ll play against in the early rounds of an Open or at local events where metagames are less defined and midrangey.

And Brimaz? Well, he’ll do fine. He’s low enough on the curve to blockade the bad guys until you draw the Anger, and with so many efficient answers to
Siege Rhino, he shouldn’t have much trouble getting through. Burn spells will eventually do the job if he and Stormbreath can’t. Should further testing
show Siege Rhino to still be too annoying, it may be correct to move away from so many burn spells and toward more hard removal.

Vintage

Stop.

Modern

The delve cards are banned! All aboard the liberation station!

The format is open for business, and that means a handful of fringe decks are going to stop being fringe decks. This will leave a hole in the tier 2 or 3
area that will soon fill with new stupid fringe decks. Accordingly, I thought I’d make a stupid fringe deck.

Cat Zoo

Danny West

Test deck on 01-22-2015

Modern

Creatures (25)

Planeswalkers (3)

3 Ajani, Caller of the Pride

Lands (22)

Spells (10)

Sideboard

It’s a shame Leonin Arbiter and Steppe Lynx don’t get along, because then I’d really have something. I also feel that Stoneforge Mystic should be unbanned
so long as it is only used in conjunction with Kemba Kha decks. You heard me.

This deck is essentially a normal Zoo deck that borrows from the G/W Aggro deck of last season (meaning it plays Ajani, Caller of the Pride to unfairly
kill you out of nowhere) and tries to have as explosive a start as possible. It’s like Affinity, but without everyone in the room sideboarding eight hate
cards against you. Speaking of Affinity, that Nacatl Savage isn’t going to do a damn thing against it, but I just couldn’t help myself. Meow.

I think the key to making this deck not terrible probably lies in either maximizing the manabase for all-in aggro (Plated Geopede?), or abandoning it for a
metagame-tailored Hate Bears deck that brings the Arbiter back in. You should also note that Ajani is a great way to make your Steppe Lynx actually do
something past turn 3. Elspeth, Knight-Errant may be warranted as a one-of to further mitigate its midgame troubles. Then again, if you want to plan for
the midgame, why are you even playing this?

And how about that Cavern of Souls value! If you don’t feel like actually thinking or playing correctly, just name Cat. You’re probably right, and nobody
ever scratched their head when “Lhurgoyf” was named. Also, don’t act cute when you use Cavern to cast an Ajani. You’re not fooling anyone, you sly devil.

Since we’re already talking about Tarmogoyf, it’s probably a good time to use it as an excuse for there only being one Grim Lavamancer. Sure, lots of decks
use Tarmogoyf and Nimble Mongoose alongside playsets of Lavamancer, but that’s not the universe I want to live in. Full disclosure: if Grim Lavamancer was
a cat, I’d play four anyway.

Meow!

Tiny Leaders

Now, I won’t spend much time talking about this format, but it is gaining steam in certain circles, and it is quite neat. You can check out the rules here, should you be so inclined. The short of it is that it’s Commander with 50-card decks, ten-card
sideboards, and everything has to have a converted mana cost of three or less. The banned list is included in the link.

Meow with me.

Brimaz, King of Oreskos

Danny West

Test deck on 01-18-2015

Tiny Leaders

Spells (10)

Sideboard

Everyone still seems on the fence as to whether or not this format will take off. Honestly, I don’t care one way or the other because it doesn’t have to.
While you can certainly spike your deck up with the most efficient spells imaginable, the fact remains that a current-border Lightning Bolt is never going
to be a $50 card. If you disregard the manabase for most of these decks, that’s only a few dozen cards to acquire each. A local rule we’ve been messing
with is that we can only use non-basics that enter the battlefield tapped. It keeps people from being priced out of the format by dual lands and fetches
and such. I’m building a few Tiny Leaders decks just with stuff I have lying around. If this format continues to be an outlier that people know about but
don’t want to invest too much toward, it’ll make the format that much more enjoyable. A tremendous amount of the staples for this would-be format are
commons and uncommons. It’s going to be a budget format unless you’re trying really hard to make it otherwise.

In other words, talk to the folks in your playgroup about what they want to do with it. Keep it fun and friendly.

Commander

Gratuitous Commander list incoming:

The Lion King (Krond the Dawn-Clad)

Danny West

Test deck on 01-21-2015

Commander

Creatures (26)

Planeswalkers (1)

1 Ajani, Mentor of Heroes

Lands (36)

This deck tells a story penned by modern thriller novelist Bill Shakespeare, in which Krond the Dawn-Clad (played by James Earl Jones) dies trying to save
his son Brimaz (portrayed by Jonathan Taylor Broderick) from a gang of devil-may-care cows tripping and falling off of a cliff somewhere. The plot takes an
ugly turn when Brimaz, fresh off of a hallucinogenic bender with a pig and a weasel, finds out that his black sheep uncle funded the gang of clumsy cow
assassins. He then realizes he must look within himself to find the Elton John-laden montages that will form the circle of life it takes to save the
galaxy.

There’s no point in continuing this article because I’m positive that’s the best paragraph I’ve ever written about anything.

Single Card Spotlight: Brimaz, King Of Oreskos

Legacy

Creatures (26)

Lands (23)

Spells (11)

Sideboard

Standard

Creatures (6)

Planeswalkers (2)

Lands (25)

Spells (27)

Sideboard

Vintage

Modern

Creatures (25)

Planeswalkers (3)

Lands (22)

Spells (10)

Sideboard

Tiny Leaders

Creatures (22)

Lands (18)

Spells (10)

Sideboard

Commander

Creatures (26)

Planeswalkers (1)

Lands (36)

Spells (37)