I’ve reached the halfway point of this series. Of my twelve sealed decks, I have dissected and discussed six.
This is the seventh.
When I started this, I knew it’d be taxing. Twelve articles on twelve card pools, each forming a deck, each discussing card choices. And each containing humour, albeit in my own somewhat bludgeoning style.
I’ll not lie to you… it’s been difficult.
For a start, the same cards appear in pool after pool. Just how many ways can I tell you that Lifted by Clowns is a bad card? Or that Villainous Ogre is a decent creature with drawbacks? There’s a fine line between explaining things for the first-time reader, and patronizing those who’ve been with me from the start. When I begin each article, I never know how I’ll describe my choices, how I’ll put across my thought-processes, how I’ll keep my reader engaged. Luckily, I think I’ve delivered… so far.
At base-camp, I gazed up toward the summit, the eager light of hope in my eyes. I took a deep breath… and I climbed.
This Englishman went up a hill… but he’s coming down a mountain.
Let’s face it: it’s all downhill from here.
The climb, however, has been most rewarding. My fellow mountaineers have been with me, step after step, aiding my ascent with each forum post. I’m glad to say that we’ve reached the summit, folks. We’ve plated the flag, and we’re still going strong.
Of course, the descent is also tricky, but I’m sure we’ll make it. And afterwards, there are new challenges, new peaks to climb.
There’s still work to be done, but the path is clearer now.
So shoulder your backpack and hitch up your socks.
We have a mountain to conquer.
…
Take this list, grasp the candle, and bang on.
White:
Ethereal Haze
Harsh Deceiver
Kabuto Moth
Kami of Ancient Law
Kami of the Palace Fields
Kitsune Blademaster
Kitsune Diviner
Lantern Kami
2 Otherworldly Journey
Silent-Chant Zubera
Vigilance
Blue:
Callous Deceiver
Consuming Vortex
Field of Reality
Peer Through Depths
Reach Through Mists
Sift Through Sands
2 Soratami Mirror-Guard
2 Thoughtbind
2 Wandering Ones
Black:
2 Befoul
Blood Speaker
Cruel Deceiver
2 Cursed Ronin
Kami of the Waning Moon
Midnight Covenant
2 Night of Soul’s Betrayal
Numai Outcast
Rend Flesh
Seizan, Perverter of Truth
Swallowing Plague
Villainous Ogre
Red:
Akki Avalanchers
Battle-Mad Ronin
2 Blind With Anger
Brothers Yamazuki
Crushing Pain
Desperate Ritual
Ember-Fist Zubera
Frostwielder
Hearth Kami
Ronin Houndmaster
Stone Rain
Strange Inversion
Tide of War
Uncontrollable Anger
Unearthly Blizzard
Green:
Burr Grafter
Commune with Nature
Dripping-Tongue Zubera
2 Feral Deceiver
Jukai Messenger
Lure
Moss Kami
Orbweaver Kumo
Sachi, Daughter of Seshiro
Sakura-Tribe Elder
Serpent Skin
Thousand-legged Kami
Time of Need
Vine Kami
2 Wear Away
Artifact:
Hankyu
Junkyo Bell
Some nice cards there, I’m sure you’ll agree. Hopefully, this pool is nothing like as twisted as the last.
Gentlemen… start your engines!
…
…
A joke for you-
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No tomatoes.
*a lone wolf howls in the distance*
…
…
Card Stuff
White
The last two card pools saw me play White, even though I was without the double-whammy of Kabuto Moth and Kitsune Blademaster. Okay, so both pools included double Cage of Hands (and we all know a song about that, don’t we, children?), but the two three-drop blokes mentioned above are key to an offensive White strategy with a defensive tinge.
This pool has Kabuto Moth.
And Kitsune Blademaster.
*happy jig*
So, given this information, do you think I’ll play White? Let me put it this way…
Does a bear s**t in the woods?
Is the Pope a Catholic?
In fact, does the Pope s**t in the woods? Who knows?
Of course I’m playing White. Especially since we have other spiffing guys to stroke. And some bottom-feeding bilge to spank.
- Kami of Ancient Law: Ah, good old Neil of Cleansing. A 2/2 for two, standard weenie fare. Of course, in Limited, the old 2/2 for two is commonplace. Yes, this guy ain’t no Wild Mongrel, but he serves a valuable purpose. He kills the Cage and the Prison and the Serpent Skin. He’s a beauty.
- Kitsune Diviner: 0/1 for one that doesn’t produce mana. The card is decent, as his ability can hold off dragons. The artwork, however, is questionable. The Diviner is a fox. A fox with boobs. Now, I’ve seen many a fox, but never one that was stacked. Now I’m confused, and a little aroused.
- Harsh Deceiver: I’m not a fan of this card. In fact, most of the Deceivers flatter to deceive. The Feral Deceiver has a nice ability, and the Cruel Deceiver is a 2/1 for two… but this guy? Wow, combat trick! He can untap and block, and most likely not kill anything! Then again, he has a place: after all, he’s one guy who can hold off the mighty Blademaster. And he’s got a big round cuddly face. Or faces.
- Kami of the Palace Fields: A 3/2 flying, soulshifting first-striker? Yeah, he’ll do. Six mana is a little pricey, but he blocks and kills almost every other flyer in the set. And I’m a sucker for guys with big hats.
- Lantern Kami, I’d like you to meet Suntail Hawk. He has a few questions about copyright law to ask you… <a fight ensues>. He’s the 23rd man, at best.
- Silent-Chant Zubera? How can you have a silent chant? Isn’t a silent chant just the same as standing there with your mouth open? Let’s see, what does he do… two life, eh? Gotta get me some o’ that action! Even if you have a Zebra fetish, there are more beautiful Zebras on which to vent your infernal lusts.
So that’s the guys. What of the spells?
- Hey you there! Yes, you: the guy eating pizza with his shirt off. Come with me on an Otherworldy Journey… a journey into the Mind of Rosewater!!! Mwahahahahahaaaaa!!!! No-one has ever visited there and lived to tell the tale!!!!… erm, yeah. Play this card. It saves your guys from removal and banishes pesky blockers for your alpha-strike turn.
- Typical. The White Wizards graciously donate Disenchant to Green, and what do they get in return? Bloody Fog. If you need to play this card, you’ll most likely lose anyway. It saves you for a turn, but the guys will keep coming.
- Vigilance is a new keyword. Form now on, Serra Angels have Vigilance. I would be much happier if this card was called Does Not Tap To Attack. Stay vigilant: do not let this card into your deck.
We have an excellent basis for White here. We’re missing some notables: Cage of Hands, Mothrider Samurai, Mr Magoo (Nagao), three Yoseis… but we could be doing a lot worse.
Blue? Woohoo!
Blue
I don’t like Blue. I never have.
Blue is the color of scum, pure and simple. Picture the scene… (cue wibble effect)
Craig: I know, let’s play a game!
Mike: Ok. <pulls out two Magic decks> Do you know how to play Magic?
Craig: No. Is it fun?
Mike: It’s the best game on Earth.
<Mike explains the rules. The sit down to play>
Mike: I’ll play the Blue deck, you play the Green one.
Craig: Okay.
<the game proceeds apace>
Craig: I’ll cast a… what does that say… “Llanowar Elf.”
Mike: <flashing a Blue card> No. My turn? Untap, draw, land, yours.
Craig: Ok, I’ll cast a Trained Armado-
Mike: <flashing a Blue card> No. My turn? Untap, draw, land, yours.
Craig: Hmm… I’ll cast a Gori-
Mike: <flashing a Blue card> No. My turn? Untap, draw, land, yours.
Craig: I’ll cast a-
Mike: <flashing a Blue card> No.
Craig: I’ll ca-
Mike: <flashing a Blue card> No.
Craig: I-
Mike: <flashing a Blue card> No.
<the game continues for hours, until…>
Mike: Aaaaand… I win! Gee, wasn’t that fun?
<Craig nods his head and draws the knife>
Teaching someone to play a game… and not letting them play. That’s low.
I shun Blue. It’s a mutual deal: the Blue cards hate me too. They never appear in the right order when I succumb to my darker side and run with countermagic.
In Limited, I avoid Blue if possible. Luckily, this pool makes it easy. There’s no Teller of Tales, therefore Blue is out of the window straight away. So what do we have?
- The best cards in this Blue pool are the 3/1 flying beaters, double Soratami Mirror-Guard. Their ability is weak, and they’re pretty vulnerable, but you can’t argue with 3/x flyers for four mana. They do exactly what it says on the tin.
- The Callous Deceiver is average. It may fly, it may block, it may trade with a guy… but it will never win you the game on its own. Defensive blearg.
- The Wandering Ones trigger spirit abilities, but as a 1/1 for one they’re god-awful. I’d only consider playing these if I were paired against an attractive lady. Then, once I’ve cast them and she’s passed out through excessive laughter, I can steal her shoes.
So the blokes in Blue are weak. I suppose the 3/1 flyers may make a splash, but I’m loath to splash creatures. What of the spells?
- Frankly, the only goer among them is the Consuming Vortex. Not that I’m consumed with pleasure every time I pull one, of course. It’s simply a decent card. It bounces, and splices. Play it, if the pool allows it.
- Peer Through Depths. Reach Through Mists, Sift Through Sands, Root Through Bins. These spells are largely unspeakable. If you need emergency 23rd filler card-drawing, then look no further. However, if you’re sane… steer clear.
- Thoughtbind is a counterspell. I hate counterspells. Thoughtbind is your friend? I hate you.
- Field of Reality. Yeah, just what we want in a fantasy game… a Field of Reality. I get enough reality at home, thanks. I’m on pills for my nerves.
Two Blue guys, one Blue spell… the rest? Arse flapjacks. I may splash this, I suppose, if I’m feeling sad.
Black
In the last pool, we had a 6/5 for five mana. His name was Seizan, he was a showgirl… A 6/5 for five is good no matter what the drawback.
This pool? We’re into Seizan two.
*rimshot*
Yeah, Seizan is nice. Yeah, your opponent gets the extra cards before you do. Yeah, if your opponent kills Seizan the turn after you play him then you’ll have sticky love-egg all over your face…
But a 6/5. For five mana.
How can you not play him?
As for the rest…
- The Cruel Deceiver is a 2/1 for two. I’d play that even if he didn’t have a chance of killing anything he blocked.
- Villainous Ogre? See articles one through six. Three-Two-Woohoo! No-Blocking-Shocking. Beware the flamingos!
- Kami of the Waning Moon? Goon. Buffoon. Poltroon. In spirit.dec, he’s alright. Strangely, he’s excellent with Seizan.
- The Blood Speaker is a 3/2 for four. While the Villainous Ogre comes out one turn quicker, the Blood Speaker doesn’t skimp on defensive duty. Plus, he fetches a Demon. And we have Seizan… which is nice.
- Oh, feel the angst in the room. Double Cursed Ronin! These tortured souls forever wander the Kamigawan night, searching for eternal rest and salvation. Well, I hate to disappoint them, but they’ve come to the wrong place. These guys are passable. If played cagily, they’re One Tough B*stard, but if you throw caution to the wind and pump like crazy, their mouths start writing checks their bodies can’t cash. Play them, in heavy black especially.
- Numai Outcast? Outcast is right. Never.
The Black guys give us some nice options, and they have decent bodies in all slots on the mana-curve. I’d love to see a Nezumi Cutthroat in there. I’d also like to see Courtney Cox in Hustler, but that’s not happening either.
We have the guys, but the strength in Black is the removal. How do we fare on that front?
*flicks through the cards*
Hahahahahahahahahaha!
- Double Befoul, double Befoul, la la la la double Befoul. Yeeee-HAH! I have ex-or-CIZED the demons! This house is cle-ah!
- To add depth to the Befoul twins, we have a tasty Rend Flesh. Although it’s a close call, I believe the Flesh to be slightly stronger than the Spirit. After all, killing a spirit usually leads to a) dragon side-effects, or b) soulshifted guys returning. And of course, the Rend Flesh is arcane. An obvious card to play.
- In the above weren’t enough, we also have a Swallowing Plague! Yes, it’s double Black, but it is undoubtedly the bomb. In a pool like this, with nice Black in depth, We Love Tha Plague!
- Night of Soul’s Betrayal times two?! Double borderline Constructed rare? Cool! Sadly, it does nothing for this deck.
- We also have another card, called Midnight Covenant, but as it’s rubbish I won’t dwell on it.
We.
Are.
Playing.
Black.
If you get strong cards in multiples, you have to play them.
Red
Two Blind With Anger?
Goodbye Blue splash, hello Red!
Okay, so this card is regarded as the strongest in the set. But is it? I’m not arguing, mind: I’ve never actually played a game with it. Is it really all that and a bag of grits? I mean, Grab The Reins it ain’t.
I’m sure I’ll play it, of course. It’s definitely powerful. But the best?
Answers in the forums, folks!
The other Red cards… previous pools have taunted me, supplying nothing deep or consistent. Sure, I’ve pulled a dragon once or twice (heh), but there’s never been any support. This time, the pickings are a little fatter.
- Hearth Kami is a 2/1 for two. As you may have guessed, I’m a fan of 2/1s for two. Especially backed with decent removal. Late game, the Kami also has some function, possible removing a tricky piece of equipment.
- Ronin Houndmaster is my kind of card. A 2/2 hasted beatstick for three mana… it’s always fun to swing with the quick lads. If playing red, I’d run Smithers in a heartbeat.
- The Zebras are obtaining quite a cult following. My compatriot Piemaster wrote an article in which he drafted an entire deck of them. While I am yet to be wholly convinced, they serve a definite purpose. The Red Zebra is the second strongest of the two, and would sit in my two-drop slot with pride.
- A two-drop guy who certainly shouldn’t be proud is Battle-Mad Ronin. Attacks each turn if able? Pull yourself together, man. Show a little discipline.
- The Brothers Yamazaki are fabulous, if you have two of them. On their own, they’re less enticing. I’d play a single Brother in an emergency… but I’d be hoping to avoid it.
- Frostwielder is the token Red pinger of the set. I’d happily run her in any base-Red build. But let’s face facts: she’s not a Sparksmith. And she’s not a Spikeshot. Compared to her illustrious forefathers, she’s naught but a tuppenny whore.
- Akki Avalanchers? Oh, wretched Wizards, what have you done to my beloved Goblins?
The Red guys are the best we’ve seen for a while… but even then, they’re nothing too exciting. They curve out, but they don’t quite make it to Broadway.
Aside from the Blind With Angers, we have little in support spells. For a start, we have no burn… and in Red, that’s baaaaaaaad.
- Perhaps the best of the remaining bunch is the Uncontrollable Anger. It’s an instant speed pump effect, but it does throw chaos into the arena. Each turn, the enchanted guy will keep sending sideways. Of course, he’ll be bigger, and probably pull out a fair creature-trade… but if you need the blockers, then this spell is knockers.
- Desperate Ritual? Such an apt name. You’d have to be desperate to run with it, and if you did you’d be ritually derided.
- Stone Rain isn’t for Limited. Unless they’re playing five colors, or have some funky legendary land that pisses you off. It’s board stuff, and no mistake.
- Unearthly Blizzard is a Falter effect, and thus is a semi-decent card. I, however, would not run it, especially in a card pool so rich in removal. In a low-power deck, this card will mise a win here and there… but a lot of times will see it festering in your hand while your opponent smashes face and ribs.
- Crushing Pain: Can anyone say Card Disadvantage? Okay, so it tackles the untacklable… but I still don’t like it.
- Tide of War? Coin tossing is toss.
- Strange Inversion does something weird. I’m not even going to read the card again. Into the bin it goes.
Red, in tooth and claw, presents us with options. While I think it’s a little underpowered to make a main color, its splash potential is obvious.
Green
Green needs guys, in varying size. If you’re wise, you can spring a surprise before your opponent’s eyes and beat him where he lies until he cries.
*happy rhyming dance*
So, let’s begin the top forty countdown, starting with the biggest and baddest of the guys in the pool.
Devastatin’ Dave, the Turntable Slave… spin those Wheels of Steel.
- At a whopping eight mana, we have the Thousand-legged Kami. This guy is obviously some relation to the Hundred-Talon Kami. If they had children, they’d be Hundreds and Thousands. The five-thousand-toed guy is a 6/6, with a hefty soulshift… but he has no evasion. Next!
- At seven mana, we have the Vine Kami. He’s hard to block, but at a tiny 4/4 he’s nothing too deadly. He soulshifts up a dead Dragon, but he’s too expensive to be truly playable.
- At six mana, we have the eminently playable Moss Kami, a 5/5 trampler who’s easily splashed. His friend, the six mana Orbweaver Kumo, is the best of the spider-type creatures in the set. In a base green deck, he’s a valuable addition.
- At five mana, we have… nothing! Go team!
- At four mana, we see the usual fight for supremacy. This pool sees a triangular battle between Raymond Burr Grafter, Feral Deceiver and Sachi, Daughter of Seshiro. My money is on the Feral Deceiver, folks. He has a relevant ability, and he can regenerate. While Raymond packs a punch, he’s a one-trick pony. I’d play him, of course… but the Green Deceiver wins by a nose. As for Sachi… she’s still in the changing room, crying on her brother’s shoulder.
- At three, we have another empty roster. I think I’ve forgotten what Kami of the Hunt looks like.
- The two-slot is populated by the best card in the set: Sakura-Tribe Elder. He blocks, fetches land… he’s super-duper! Alongside the elder we have the dribbling Zebra, who’s borderline-playable if that.
- The final cog in the Green machine is the one and only Jukai Messenger. This guy still hasn’t got the message. Give it up, fella! You’re no use to anyone!
The Green guys seem nice in parts. They miss out on the three-drops, which seems to be a curse of this block. I’d also miss the Big Green Monks, but the four-slot is pretty crammed as it is.
In the support cards, Green gives us the following:
- Double Wear Away. For the sideboard, or course.
- Everyone’s favorite forum topic, Commune with Nature. I’d run it, but to be fair I took some convincing. This card has a similar function to Time of Need, and if I were playing G/B, I think I’d run with both to maximize the chance of rooting out my Seizan.
- Lure. I love Lure. In fact, you might say I can’t resist the lure of Lure. Hehe! Did you see what I did there? It works on so many levels. Sometimes I’m so witty, I even impress myself.
- Serpent Skin is another card I’ve previously maligned. However, it has its supporters in the forums. Scott Wills came up with a fabulous argument for including this card, especially in a G/B deck. On turn 3, if you’re lucky enough to have a Cutthroat in play, your opponent will always block it if able. Serpent Skin is usually game over, there and then. I’d run this, I think.
Green is pretty strong in this pool, I feel. But is it strong enough to oust the other colors?
Before we find out, a cursory nod to the artifacts in the pool:
Artifact
Junkyo Bell? The death toll sounds for thee.
And Hankyu? No thank-you.
…
So that’s that. Card pool seven, laid bare for your enjoyment.
And what of my build? Four color madness again, do you think?
Follow the dots and see…
…
…
…
Thankfully, today’s card pool was a little simpler than the nightmare of Tuesday. Although I still believe there are a number of strong decks available from these cards, I finally plumped for the following W/B/r deck:
White (8):
Kitsune Diviner
Kami of Ancient Law
Kabuto Moth
Kitsune Blademaster
Harsh Deceiver
Kami of the Palace Fields
2 Otherworldly Journey
Black (11):
Cruel Deceiver
Villainous Ogre
Kami of the Waning Moon
2 Cursed Ronin
Blood Speaker
Seizan, Perverter of Truth
2 Befoul
Swallowing Plague
Rend Flesh
Red (4):
Hearth Kami
Ronin Houndmaster
2 Blind With Anger
Land (17):
7 Swamp
6 Plains
4 Mountain
Creatures: 15
1cc = 1
2cc = 3
3cc = 4
4cc = 4
5cc = 1
6cc = 1
7cc = 0
8cc = 0
Some nice guys, some quality removal, some quick beats, some late game… it’s all good.
Apart from, y’know, the bad:
I hate splashing for creatures, especially low casting-cost creatures. The Hearth Kami and the Ronin Houndmaster are only good cards when they come out on their respective turns of two and three. Of course, the Kami is nice if my opponent has a troublesome artifact, and the Houndmaster is nice if my opponent overextends, so maybe I’m being a little harsh on them. I’d still rather have another Blademaster and a Cutthroat…
Again, I include the sub-par Kami of the Waning Moon. However, this build sees him with fourteen triggers, and he’s fantastic with Seizan on the prowl. Kill a guy, swing for six unblockable seems pretty strong to me.
…erm…
…ahh…
Other than that, I think it’s nice!
Here are some of the good things about the build:
Like a shapely lady, this build has a nice curve.
Like a war museum, this build has a few bombs.
Like an up-and-coming boxer, this deck comes out fighting.
Like a haulage firm, this build has removal by the vanload.
There are also a few questions about the build:
- Should I play Ember-Fist Zubera in place of the Hearth Kami?
- I’m not a fan of splashing the two Red guys. I’d rather these were on-colour cards. But what could they be, really? Numai Outcast? Ethereal Haze?
- Is there a case for Lantern Kami in this deck?
- Should I maindeck Red, maybe going for a 6/6/6 split, or R/B/w?
- Have I undervalued the Green?
I’m sure all these questions, and more, will be tackled in the forums. Come join us.
I’d like to think I’d make top eight with this deck. While it lacks the sheer power and game-breaking spells of previous pools, it appears well-oiled and sleek. Sure, we ain’t droppin’ no dragons… but the cards we have are solid. It’s not always about the bombs. It’s better to have a decent deck than a win-condition surrounded by chaff. After all, you won’t draw your dragon every game.
With a couple more cards, notably Cage of Hands and Nezumi Cutthroat, this deck would be fabulous. Without them, it’s merely “good.” At a PTQ, I’d be more than happy with this pool, and this deck.
Until round three, of course.
Then I’d get spanked by a twelve-year old and his pet Kokusho.
Until the next pile…
Thanks for listening.
Craig Stevenson
Scouseboy on MTGO
[email protected]