Mama said knock you out.
I’m gonna knock you out.
LL Cool J
Greetings, all, from sunny Nagoya. It’s good to see you guys again. Planar Chaos has just hit the shelves, and many of you are going to be getting ready for Friday Night Magic or upcoming Two-Headed Giant tournaments. Sealed is going to be a critical skill to brush up on, and I’ll be contributing a few pieces to this esteemed site to help you get up to speed. Yes, the Ferrett comes at you every week with his column aimed for Limited novices and journeymen. I am green with envy when I read his prose. However, his crowd-pleasing tendencies yield a slight tendency to gloss on the highlights, without spending a lot of time telling you why he skips over the cards he deems unworthy. This makes for a jazzy read.
Well, I’m not going to go so lightly on the content. Humor, schmumor. Leave no card behind!
Wizards picked a fine time to release Planar Chaos. With the post-holiday buzz dying down and mercury dropping in thermometers, the Magic community’s been laying low and itching for the new flavor. Our new set packs much more excitement into the boosters than its predecessor, Time Spiral. The reinterpretations of the old through a fractured mirror hit harder than the straight up reprints. Classics are good, but better with a twist. This set’s got more gumption than Bugs Bunny, and I love it.
The Timeshifted card frames are freaking amazing. They’re a lot more intense than the regular card frames. The subtle fluffy clouds of White’s text frame jumped out and wrenched the attention out of my little head. Like an Orb song with a big, nasty Roland TR-909 backing it up. The Blue "drop in the bucket" circles brings back nostalgic memories of the water-drop from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Red’s intensity bleeds through the paper, almost as if the card itself will burn you. Black’s darker and gloomier. Green’s saturated with intensity. But how about the text?
The Timeshifted cards are rich, tense, and splashy. Cards you thought you left in your old leather bomber jacket’s pocket turn up in your Levi’s. With a dollar bill wrapped around them. Now that’s what opening a pack of Magic should be like.
I hope Wizards runs more new frames for the cards. Many Japanese collectible card games have a lot of slick fronts that push the limits of intensity, but they’re also tough to read. Magic’s always hedged a little too closely, sticking to the conservative side. With Planar Chaos’s new hotness, they’ve found the magic middle.
But enough with the praise for the wrapping paper. How does the set handle on the road? We’ve gotta scratch the surface to scan for substance. Time Spiral handed us a great big present by forking over some golden classics. They were ripped from memory, with all the warmth and the promise of a whole new life. But Planar Chaos took a whole new set of classics and slapped a whole new set of paint. And new mana symbols. How dominant would White have been in Masques block with a 5/5 untargetable brute on tap? Back in the day, Black’s weenie armies of Erg Raiders, Black Knight, Bad Moon, Order of the Ebon Hand, and Knights of Stromgald roamed the earth, slaying unwitting mages with speed and zest. Who could stop that team cold? Why, the Whirling Dervish. Unlike that simpleton White Knight or his pumping brethren, he could actually halt the dire menace in its tracks. It took a while, but finally that Green nebbish came over to the winning team.
The biggest change I’ve noticed is that there are fewer one-mana Suspend thugs who hit the table.
Two packs with Corpulent Corpses, Ivory Giants, and Keldon Halberdiers leave the pool. White picks up a replacement with Shade of Trokair, and Green picks up another high quality suspend card with Giant Dustwasps. I’m sure you’ll have to brace yourself for when he comes into play.
(Jokes like that are what happens when you’ve been teaching English as a foreign language for too long. Brace, suspend… braces, suspenders… oh, never mind.)
The next change is an upgrade in the quality of Slivers. The new brood has some crazy abilities. My pick for the most exciting is Necrotic Sliver. This is so much better than any of the previous other Sliver sacrifice effects to date.
This card pool’s one of several I’m testing the format with. My build’s got one prominent feature. Will yours share it, or go down a different path? Maybe your build’s better than mine. Bring your thoughts to the forums. Just keep it clean and civil.
Creatures (43)
- 1 Evil Eye of Orms-by-Gore
- 1 Shadowmage Infiltrator
- 1 Aetherflame Wall
- 1 Bogardan Rager
- 1 Bonesplitter Sliver
- 1 Castle Raptors
- 1 D'Avenant Healer
- 1 Errant Doomsayers
- 1 Firemaw Kavu
- 1 Ivory Giant
- 1 Keldon Halberdier
- 1 Knight of the Holy Nimbus
- 1 Nantuko Shaman
- 1 Penumbra Spider
- 1 Pit Keeper
- 1 Sage of Epityr
- 1 Serra Avenger
- 1 Shadow Sliver
- 1 Slipstream Serpent
- 1 Spinneret Sliver
- 1 Stronghold Overseer
- 1 Telekinetic Sliver
- 1 Aquamorph Entity
- 1 Aven Riftwatcher
- 1 Blood Knight
- 1 Brain Gorgers
- 1 Calciderm
- 1 Deadwood Treefolk
- 1 Fungal Behemoth
- 1 Ghost Tactician
- 1 Giant Dustwasp
- 1 Keldon Marauders
- 1 Lavacore Elemental
- 1 Needlepeak Spider
- 1 Poultice Sliver
- 1 Prodigal Pyromancer
- 1 Ridged Kusite
- 2 Saltfield Recluse
- 1 Sinew Sliver
- 1 Tidewalker
- 2 Vitaspore Thallid
Lands (2)
Spells (30)
- 1 Fire Whip
- 1 Aspect of Mongoose
- 1 Assassinate
- 1 Bewilder
- 1 Conflagrate
- 1 Curse of the Cabal
- 1 Detainment Spell
- 1 Fortify
- 1 Grapeshot
- 1 Mindstab
- 1 Mystical Teachings
- 1 Phyrexian Totem
- 1 Psychotic Episode
- 1 Rift Bolt
- 1 Spirit Loop
- 1 Sprout
- 1 Tendrils of Corruption
- 1 Think Twice
- 1 Thrill of the Hunt
- 1 Traitor's Clutch
- 1 Truth or Tale
- 1 Dawn Charm
- 1 Dismal Failure
- 1 Erratic Mutation
- 1 Healing Leaves
- 1 Melancholy
- 1 Piracy Charm
- 1 Retether
- 1 Utopia Vow
- 1 Vampiric Link
Build amongst yourselves.
Welcome to tonight’s Cheeky Dot Show!
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Let’s analyze what’s desirable, what’s tolerable, and what’s dross. I pay special attention to the new cards on the block.
Black
Solid: Stronghold Overseer, Pit Keeper, Melancholy, Mindstab, Tendrils of Corruption
Decent: Ranged Kusite, Assassinate, Vampiric Link
Poor: Brain Gorgers, Evil Eye of Orms-by-Gore, Curse of the Cabal, Psychotic Episode, Traitor’s Clutch
This Black has got some reasonable removal, but few quality creatures. Stronghold Overseer is a finisher that’s nigh unstoppable with a massive deterrent against swinging back, but he can’t do the job alone. Tendrils of Corruption is the second best Black removal spell in the format. Melancholy’s mana upkeep cost pushes the limit of "Solid" classification, but I’ll keep it there for the moment.
By the way, never splash for Melancholy if you’re splashing for just one Black card.
Mindstab’s value has gone up slightly, since the number of quality madness cards available has decreased. The tempo of the format will almost guarantee hitting for full value on turn 5 or 6. There aren’t as many Dark Witherings or Gorgon Recluses going around.
Ridged Kusite (sponsored by Ruffles Potato Chips) has a reasonable cost as an on-board trick that mucks with your opponent’s combat math, but as a 1/1 he’s too vulnerable to the many effects that sweep the board. Not my idea of a good time, but if you’ve got a hole in your two and three drops he can hold the fort on defense until your four drops start hitting the table.
Vampiric Link doesn’t get my juices flowing. It’s not even half as reliable as Pacifism, because the Linked creature still hangs out for blocking duty. If you’ve got a lot of fliers, it may find a home in your deck, but most of the time leave the Link home.
I will never, ever play Curse of the Cabal suspended. It’s too easy to work around. If I have a defensive enough deck that craves to hit the late game and is guaranteed to get there, it’s a slightly different story. Leave this one for the kitchen tables.
Blue
Solid: Aquamorph Entity, Erratic Mutation
Decent: Slipstream Serpent, Telekinetic Sliver, Dismal Failure, Piracy Charm, Think Twice
Poor: Sage of Epityr, Shadow Sliver, Tidewalker, Bewilder, Mystical Teachings, Truth or Tale
Aquamorph Entity is not the most mana-efficient card, but its versatility wins me over. Erratic Mutation favors comparably to most bounce spells, because it gets rid of the creature. It even finishes most fatties reliably if they’re found blocking. If you’re playing blue, but not either of these spells, give yourself a stern lecture.
If your mana curve falls short on four and five drop creatures, it’s quite reasonable to play Dismal Failure. It’s solid in the late and mid-game, but you’ve got to be sure to establish board dominance. Since it’s an uncommon, your opponent won’t usually expect it.
Piracy Charm only makes my "decent" list because it can kill a Prodigal Pyromancer or other annoying one drop. One-shot evasion or a single discard doesn’t offer a lot of interest. I want to hedge my bet, though. This is one of the weaker charms.
Telekinetic Sliver’s overall value went down, as Planar Chaos increases the chances of seeing playable slivers in your opponent’s deck. The Sliver tribe fails to present sufficient numbers in this pool to make Telekinetic Sliver of sufficient worth.
Tidewalker is absolutely terrible. It’s only good in mono-Blue decks, and you’ll only want to play it in the late game. It’s rare for me to see a card I want to instantaneously rip up on first sight, but here it is.
Blue disappoints me.
White
Solid: Calciderm, Castle Raptors, Knight of the Holy Nimbus, Saltfield Recluse, Serra Avenger, Dawn Charm, Fortify
Decent: Aven Riftwatcher, D’Avenant Healer, Errant Doomsayers, Ghost Tactician, Ivory Giant, Poultice Sliver, Sinew Sliver
Poor: Detainment Spell, Retether, Spirit Loop
Now we’re talking. With a good mix of early and late creatures, coupled with two potent instants, White is easily deep enough to play as a main color. If only there were more fliers…
Calciderm is not quite as good as its predecessor, Blastoderm. Blastoderm usually hit and took out two opposing creatures and got through once. But he never had to deal with those pernicious Saprolings. How often do those accursed guys keep spawning? That doesn’t mean I’d kick him to the curb, but I’d consider using him as a defensive measure than just running him out on turn four when facing off decks with big Green uglies. Otherwise, it’s hard to think of a better turn four play.
By the way, don’t allow your opponent to try to use Fury Charm to remove time tokens off your Calciderm. I’ve seen opponents try it only to feel the fury of a judge. (Well, it wasn’t all that painful, really, but on the other hand the opponent did get to see the trick.)
Saltfield Recluse is almost twice as good as D’Avenant Healers, in that he turns a Grey Ogre off every turn. He even blocks a Hill Giant. And he’s easier to play. If you’re playing white as a non-splash color, he should make the cut every single time.
I shouldn’t have to tell you Dawn Charm is amazing. Fog’s one of the most powerful tempo effects around. White/Black decks or White/Red decks with an abundance of first strikers can make Fogging even more ridiculous. Regenerating a guy is never a poor option. Rare will be the situation when someone counters a Disintegrate with this spell, but you never know. Which will be the most powerful option of the three in Limited games? You tell me in the forums.
There aren’t any recruiters in this pool, so Aven Riftwatcher is merely an eight-point lifeswing sorcery for three mana. I still rate it as highly playable, but I’d avoid playing it on turn 3 if possible.
Poultice Sliver and Sinew Sliver are superlative buys for their cheap costs. Remember, though, if these Slivers are too much of a drawback, consider marching them into the Valley of Death. Sometimes your opponent will be able to better exploit the Sliver brood than you, and therefore it might be worth it to deny your opponent the benefit of having the extra abilities.
Ghost Tactician is a lot better in Sealed deck than it is in Limited, thanks to a slower pace. He blunts attacking armies and helps you set up for a solid alpha strike, if you’ve got a lot more men. Naturally, he’s at his best working in concert with Thallids and Saprolings. (Chalk this up to the recurring theme of Wizards trying to make W/G a playable combination in Limited.)
Retether? Don’t make me laugh. Unless you’ve got four Enslaves in your deck, don’t even bother. (And if you are playing four Enslaves in your deck, I’m sorely tempted to call shenanigans.)
Add to this well known stars like Knight of the Holy Nimbus, Serra Avenger, Castle Raptors, and Fortify, and you’ve got all the makings of a solid backbone for the deck.
Green
Solid: Deadwood Treefolk, Giant Dustwasp, Penumbra Spider, Spinneret Sliver, Utopia Vow
Decent: Nantuko Shaman, 2 Vitaspore Thallid, Aspect of Mongoose, Healing Leaves, Thrill of the Hunt
Poor: Fungal Behemoth, Sprout
Giant Dustwasp isn’t Errant Ephemeron (a card I utterly underrated in my last Sealed article, to my unending embarrassment). But it’s still topped off with Awesome Sauce. It’s also a lot more reasonable to play straight up on turn 5. Play this guy every time, you’ll never go wrong.
Deadwood Treefolk is an absolutely ludicrous card advantage engine. He’s like Firemaw Kavu, except without the echo. (And if you have a Firemaw Kavu, more power to you.) He’s a guy who always makes the main if you’re playing green, and he’s extremely splashable. Not quite on par with a Meloku the Clouded Mirror or a Blaze, but he’s up there.
I’ve nothing but good things to say about Utopia Vow. You don’t want to play it in the early game on your opponents, but hold it back for a truly ugly lug. And yes, it can be productive to put this on your own creatures. I’ve slapped this on my own Pendelhaven Elder on turn 3 more than once to get my mana production back on track, and that call won the game each time. It’s not as hard as it looks to get the card working properly.
If you have non-land mana producers, keep in mind you can get your Nantuko Shaman and your free card for 2G, no waiting necessary. I saw this happen more than once on Magic Online last week.
Vitaspore Thallid is thoroughly unexciting. If you have lots of Fungus allies and big fugly men, play him. But with the abundance of pingers like Prodigal Pyromancer, Fledgling Mawcor, Zealot il-Vec and Subterranean Shambler, are you really sure he’ll get to do his thing? Besides, all the good men like Durkwood Baloth, Pouncing Wurm, and Havenwood Wurm (technically) have haste built in already. I am sorely tempted to demote him. He’s a far cry from an 0/5 defender.
Yes, you can play Stupid Pet Tricks with Healing Leaves and Kavu Predator. Don’t count on it happening, however. (Besides, we don’t have any Predators.)
Green offers a lot of reasonable quality creatures, and if we pair it with White, we get access to Thrill of the Hunt. It could be done, but there’s probably a better option.
Red
Solid: Blood Knight, Firemaw Kavu, Fire Whip, Grapeshot, Keldon Halberdier, Needlepeak Spider, Prodigal Pyromancer, Rift Bolt
Decent: Aetherflame Wall, Bogardan Rager, Bonesplitter Sliver, Conflagrate
Poor: Keldon Marauders, Lavacore Elemental
This batch of Red reeks of awesomeness. We’ve got two reusable ping sources with Prodigal Pyromancer and Fire Whip. Firemaw Kavu is a one-creature death squad, and we’ve even got Grapeshot and Rift Bolt backing it up. However, you knew all that already.
With the slower format of Sealed, don’t be afraid to play Bogardan Rager. It trades with virtually any attacking creature. Why do people not appreciate Enrage for one less with a 3/4 attached? It’s a mystery to me.
There isn’t anything confusing or subtle about Needlepeak Spider or Prodigal Pyromancer. Keldon Marauders doesn’t excite me at all, as he rarely hits for the full five. Lavacore Elemental just doesn’t have any sort of consistency in the long game.
It’s big, and it’s dumb. That’s Red for ya.
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This is what I came up with in twenty minutes. The results shouldn’t surprise you.
1cc: Ivory Giant, Keldon Halberdier
2cc: Blood Knight, Errant Doomsayers, Knight of the Holy Nimbus, Serra Avenger, Sinew Sliver, Dawn Charm, Fire Whip, Grapeshot
3cc: Aven Riftwatcher, Poultice Sliver, Prodigal Pyromancer, 2 Saltfield Recluse, Fortify, Rift Bolt
4cc: Bonesplitter Sliver, Calciderm, Needlepeak Spider
5cc: Castle Raptors
6cc: Bogardan Rager, Firemaw Kavu
With the lack of evasive creatures or fire-and-forget removal spells, we’ve got to go with the two most efficient colors, Red and White. There’s a lot of pinging available, so we shouldn’t have too many problems with utility creatures, but big ugly creatures are going to prove to be a headache.
I always include a chart with converted mana costs, to indicate how most games should play out in the first six or seven turns. Ravnica’s Convoke mechanic was worth a nearly-universal one-mana discount. Suspend spells are extremely to figure out as well. However, depending on your mana configuration, you may find that there are cards with an actual mana cost that is far higher than the one printed on the upper right corner.
1: CC
2: CCCCCSSS
3: CCCCCSS
4: CCC
5: C
6: CC
Just Missed the Cut: Ghost Tactician
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I am not amused. I don’t like this deck, as there’s too many ways for it to go wrong. Sacred Mesa shuts it down. Pyrohemia or Sulfurous Blast are absolutely ridiculous against you. (And I hear that Black has a rare mass-kill spell now. I can’t remember what it’s called, though, for the life of me.) There’s little evasion, and an opponent sandbagging tricks will be able to throw you off your game plan. This deck only does one thing, and while it’s competent at that one thing, it won’t win any awards. But brutal efficiency is not something to cast aside. There’s a lot of punch in that package.
We’ve got a small Sliver package. With all three on the table, they’re regenerating 5/3s. Unfortunately, they have a lot of potential to leak to the other side of the table. Such is the eternal dilemma of Slivers in Limited.
Looking back now, I committed an error. It would have been smarter to splash a single Green card, Deadwood Treefolk, backed by a Forest and the Fungal Reaches. The Treefolk are a legitimate bomb, and we do actually have the Firemaw Kavu to combine with it. And it’s useful in the late game, when you’re far more likely to have drawn a Green mana source. It should replace Blood Knight, due to the weenie’s overly finicky mana cost. And yeah, I probably should have ran the Thrill of the Hunt as well. But I wouldn’t ever splash Spinneret Sliver. Yes, it’s an efficient Sliver bear. But you’ll almost never have a chance to play it until the point when its impact is nil.
With that said, the abundance of aggressive two drops and three drops will allow you to punish any incompetent deckbuilder. It’s as fast as a Sealed deck can get without sacrificing too much long game reach. In a seven round PTQ, a competent player piloting this build would have to be quite lucky to make the Top 8. It isn’t inconceivable, but it’s unlikely. The deck doesn’t reliable tools to overcome serious roadblocks. There’s hardly any evasion. Playing this deck will be a challenge, but then again, who likes easy victories?
Agree? Disagree? Maybe you’ve spotted something that I haven’t. Bring your ideas to the forums.