Dear Ted,
This is Emily, Jon’s girlfriend. I write you because this little contest my boyfriend is involved in has, without hyperbole, thrown our lives into upheaval. He’s not a good sleeper even in the best of circumstances. Last month, I bought these really nice European pillows. They weren’t cheap. Jon claims to like them, but I always wake up in the middle of the night to find that the pillow has completely slipped out from under him, and that his head is instead resting on his folded arms.
I want nothing more than to yell “HEY ***HOLE PUT YOUR FAT ****ING HEAD ON THE GODDAMN PILLOW AND STOP WASTING MY MONEY,” but I do not, because, well, I wuv my widdle cuddlebug, and the last thing I want to do is shout at him. But he has taken to checking your fine website at midnight. Every night.
He compulsively looks at his own articles intermittently, merely to see his own name in print. I recently woke up to him mumbling, “Of course I gave her a fake license plate number, you idiot, I didn’t want her joyriding to goddamn Mexico while I was in D.C.” This is a lot to deal with on top of dating a Magic player, which has its own specific set of downfalls: He “goes into the tank” on every turn of every game of Fluxx. Once, we were playing Rummy with my family, and when he went to take a card out of the discard pile, he said “Regrowth.” When we play poker with friends, he shuffles his cards in his hand, and they make that
damn
flicking noise. But I digress. The real reason I’m writing is—
You single?
Warmest regards,
Emily
That’s my girl!
My charge this week is to bring the analyzin’ SCHLERETH-STYLE (read: poorly) and talk about a draft archetype that isn’t infect, ostensibly because you can be bad at Magic and still be able to write about it. Good-bye, game plan!
Triple-SOM is a weird format, and one I’m still trying to get my head around. One strategy that I find myself utilizing a lot in the 8-4s on MODO is drafting blue. Blue
always
seems to be open. Volition Reins, a first-pick in any other Limited format, goes as late as fifth, while Vedalken Certarch and Lumengrid Drake are commonly found in the 8-10th pick range. Blue is probably the worst color in the format, but it gains a lot of its value back by just being under-drafted. It’s really easy to be the only blue player at any given table, which is what I’ve found in the 8-4s. Even if it’s the weakest color, if you’re the only one at the table drafting it, your deck is bound to be good. That’s a tough one to mess up.
So I like drafting blue metalcraft, just because I know I can always take the good artifacts early and wheel the good blue cards, even the really good ones like Darkslick Drake. What color to pair it with depends heavily on what you’re passed. Sure, if you crack a Venser, the Sojourner or a Hoard-Smelter Dragon, then the choice is easy, but if you’re not good enough at Magic to crack those, then the call is green, and not just because, as my friend David put it in one of our chats on MODO, “green is f***ing dank,” it’s because, well, you’re tapping down guys with Vedalken Certarch and bouncing them with Lumengrid Drake. What better to capitalize on that with than a 4/4 for two mana?
Here’s a decklist I recently drafted in an 8-4:
2 Carapace Forger
2 Chrome Steed
1 Copper Myr
2 Lumengrid Drake
1 Neurok Replica
1 Perilous Myr
1 Silver Myr
1 Snapsail Glider
1 Soliton
3 Sylvok Replica
2 Vedalken Certarch
1 Wall of Tanglecord
1 Dissipation Field
1 Heavy Arbalest
1 Rusted Relic
3 Tumble Magnet
That deck was pretty good. A little light on removal, but whatever. A Slice in Twain or a Volition Reins would’ve been nice, but I really can’t complain. I wish draft had a waiver wire like fantasy football. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been building a deck and thought, “I’d love to pick up a Volition Reins off waivers,” I’d have enough money to buy this great site, whereupon I’d hold
weekly
talent searches, all of which I would win (I would appoint Diebold in charge of counting the votes).
Soliton and Heavy Arbalest are two undervalued cards that make a ridiculous combo. I won at least three games with this deck just by going over the top of their creatures when they were at seven. I always try and draft this combo in all of my blue decks, and you should, too. It’s really too good to miss out on. If you untap with a Soliton wearing a Heavy Arbalest, it is haaaaard to lose. I like choosing between a one-sided Wrath Of God or eight to their dome. I often just choose both.
I like to draw first with this deck, just because I like to run sixteen lands with it, and drawing first helps me keep a lot of those two-landers. Hey– if drawing first works for LSV, it works for me.
This deck is not only well positioned because the colors are under-drafted, it’s just good in the metagame. Both the blue and green Replicas, other than having the best abilities, (okay, so the black one is good too) have huge butts and will often stall games out by themselves, and if they don’t slow you down, then they can at least hold the ground until the Vedalken Certarchs or Tumble Magnets show up. The game plan in most games is to hold off the early beats of these aggressive decks that are so in vogue in the 8-4s, and then beat with some 4/4s.
The poison matchup goes like this: if they don’t start with turn 2 Plague Stinger, they’re in trouble. If they do, then they might get in three poison counters before it starts getting tapped down, and that’s if I don’t have Snapsail Glider or Wall of Tanglecord. The only thing that can conceivably bring them back from being behind is Tel-Jilad Fallen, but that guy usually just comes down too late to not get bounced by a Lumengrid Drake. Poison is probably the hardest matchup.
MVP: Vedalken Certarch, artifacts
That aggro B/R deck poses a much easier matchup just because my Replicas don’t wither away. All my creatures outclass theirs. Even their ace in the hole, Skinrender, is just a 3/3. Multiple Instill Infections can be rough, but this is still an easy matchup.
MVP: Probably Chrome Steed
That W/B equipment deck can be annoying, depending on their flying creature count. Kemba’s Skyguard and Glint Hawk can be annoying, and Necrogen Censer really accelerates their clock. Draft those late Wing Punctures and bring them in against this deck. Arrest is a pretty bad card for them just because it doesn’t affect metalcraft in any way. If they swing in with Sunspear Shikari and try and get you to bite on a trade, just do it, because all he needs is one equipment to put a game out of your reach. Your tappers will get Arrested in this match. Focus on keeping lots of artifacts on the table, and save your Lumengrid Drakes for your own Arrested men. Unless you’re about to lose, wait until you can play Lumengrid Drake and then the guy you bounced in the same turn. The race is what matters here, which is why bouncing their Kemba’s Skyguard is usually no good. This is also pretty important–
Don’t let yourself get blown out by Soul Parry in game 2.
MVP: Peyton Manning
The red decks aren’t that great against you because a lot of their cards can’t really take out your early threats. Don’t run Chrome Steed out when you only have three artifacts, one of which is a 1/1. You’re just begging to get your ass kicked by Arc Trail.
Do not do it.
The nice thing about this deck is that it’s hard for them to blow you out with Arc Trail; your three-drops have, for the most part, three toughness. The best you can hope for is that they’ll blow that Arc Trail on killing a mana Myr and dealing two to you, which I don’t think is ever right.
I’ve said this a lot with people I play with, and some might consider it a bold statement, but here it is: Unless you’re killing two guys or killing your opponent (that turn) with Arc Trail, you’re playing it wrong. Oxidda Scrapmelter is really the only card you have to worry about, and it’s pretty obnoxious, but he hits early enough for you to regain your footing and find a Tumble Magnet to stave him off.
MVP: You, as long as you’re not retarded
Jon Corpora
Pronounced Ca-pora
@feb31st