Ah, Ravnica cards. I’ve already told you who the cool kids are, the ones who (despite their Slipknot shirts and/or greasy hair) deserve to sit with you at the lunch table. Now I’ll let you know about those three or four members of your crew that, though they linger around and try to convince you that they’re cool, really ought to be chilling with the fat kids and science nerds over across the other side of the cafeteria. I’m talking about the cards whose moms buy them expensive clothes and $30,000 vehicles in a desperate, fleeting attempt to mask the fact that they have no personality, and no intrinsic value, whatsoever.
I want to talk about the cards that never make my maindeck – or almost never do – that nevertheless invoke a triumphant windmill-slam from the geniuses drafting around me, complete with the confident-yet-irked grin on their face that betrays some kind of unspoken sense of superiority. You know that look. The knowing, “Gawd, how awful can these people be” half-ass smirk that asks dismissively how its wearer could possibly deign to be in the presence of such obvious inferiors.
If you’re one of those people, prepare to have it slapped off your face. There are some cards in Ravnica that really should be sitting in your board, no matter how good they seem at first glance.
First, though, a quick note on sideboarding: when you’re in a Pro Tour Qualifier, playing for a slot in Pro Tour: Czechoslovakia, it’s probably not a good idea to mistakenly draw a card from said sideboard. I apparently thought that it would be a great plan, though, and skillfully earned a game loss on turn five of the first game of, oh, the final. Yes, good madams and sirs, another finals appearance for yours truly over this past weekend without an envelope to show for it. Even though I am five-for-five on Top 8 appearances at non-Grand Prix Pro Tour Qualifiers over the last six months, I have yet to earn an invite since last March. Those, gents, are mad skills.
Cry more, it’s fine, learn to play, et cetera. And I would like some cheese with my whine, kthnxbye.
Ahem. The cards:
Gaze of the Gorgon
I guess this is fine in Sealed, if you have no other removal whatsoever. In Draft, remember this maxim: Friends Don’t Let Friends Run The Gaze. Representing this trick is as obvious as the “surprise plot twist” in an M. Night Shyamalan film (OMG they are allergic to water, that is incredible!) and is perhaps even less effective than that. Especially with common bounce such as Repeal in the format, Gaze almost always ends up Time Walking its caster, while giving the opponent card advantage. It’s not like a normal Giant Growth, because those usually cost one or two mana, and thus you can normally do something about their attempting to wreck you. Four is the price of a legitimately-sized threat, not an easily-telegraphed combat trick. Seeds of Strength and Gather Courage are fine because Courage is free, and Seeds distributes itself over several men. Gaze typically just makes its caster wrap his arm around the back of his head and forcefully pile-drive his face into the gaming table, wondering why on earth he put this pitiful spell into his deck.
Nobody ever triple-blocks right into this guy. Sure, you can technically use it to save one of your men from a damage-based removal spell, but even then you’re usually out-tempoed. All in all, this is a very marginal trick that doesn’t find a home in very many archetypes.
Fists of Ironwood
Alright, now this has every good player who reads this shaking his or her head in dismay at the writer’s idiocy for criticizing this obviously incredible card. It’s like Raise the Alarm, right?
No, go kill yourself.
This card was insane in triple Ravnica Drafts, or in Rav-Rav-Rav Sealed. You’d use it as part of the sickest engine ever to convoke out gigantic men on turn 4, bashing heads as if you were playing Affinity. You now have one Sealed Deck with which to grab your Convoke guys, meaning that you are very lucky to get any more than two of Guardian of Vitu-Ghazi, Siege Wurm, Conclave Equenaut, Root-kin Ally, and Overwhelm. Thus, most of the time, the Fists aren’t fueling some ridiculous engine. In addition, you’re not always going to have the Skysweeper or Frenzied Goblin to drop this bad boy on turn 2, so it’ll perform the vital function of Sitting In Your Hand. How solid. By the time you nut this out on a Ghor-Clan Savage or something comparable, you don’t really need the 1/1s all that much. Obviously it’s still insane on a Bramble Elemental, but really, what isn’t? This card might make your deck still a good percentage of the time, but be wary before you automatically include it in your pile of cards. Seeds of Strength, on the other hand, is still a pretty solid combat trick, but this token-generator just isn’t anywhere near as good as it used to be… especially if they remove your man in response.
Peel from Reality
This card is sick, if you can use it properly.
Read that last clause, because it’s incredibly important. If you are R/U or U/B/r, and have access to Steamcore Weirds, Ogre Savants, and Vedalken Dismissers, then this spell is obviously insane. If not, however, this is the worst bounce spell ever printed. Dematerialize makes this guy look like Repulse.
It’s fine in the Dimir aggressive deck, because most of the time you send into their man, stack damage, bounce your guy and their other defender, replay your dude on the same turn, and Time Walk them by making them re-cast their bearl. No matter the mechanics, you’re generally playing the card on your own combat step. This means that you have the first chance to bounce the guy back, and the chief you’re bouncing is usually cheaper than the ham on their side of the table.
It’s in the Dimir Mill deck that this card is truly a steaming pile. You generally have to use it to save your guy from removal, because it’s just the nut low in combat since all of your creatures cost four or more mana, and they’re all predominately blockers. Even in the best-case scenario, you’d probably rather have some countermagic, since tapping four in your main phase means you’re not leaving mana up for counters/effects, casting card-drawing, etc. Even worse, they have their second main phase to drop a Strands of Undeath and wreck your man, or even a Shrieking Grotesque to force you to make a difficult choice. Obviously some of the time you’ll have land in your hand and everything will be fine, but the point is that if you’re casting this card reactively then it shouldn’t always be in your deck. Bear in mind that it has to compete with Repeal.
Of course, it’s insane against the Pillory/Faith’s Fetters decks, or the moron who plays a hundred Magemarks, but that’s why it’s in the sideboard: you can, after all, bring it in.
Conclave’s Blessing
Are you serious?
I hope that I am seeing things and that actually nobody plays this card, but I keep seeing it on Magic Online and I get concerned. I am not missing anything, right? It is actually the worst Sandskin-on-your-own-guy ever, correct? It’s a creature enchantment…that only boosts toughness… and only sometimes. So if you block, and they kill one of your other guys, the guy this enchants generally dies as well and you just fell to a three-for-one. Hmm. Okay.
I am sure that nobody who reads this series plays this card, because you’re taking time out of your day to read Magic strategy and thus must have some kind of head on your shoulders. Nevertheless, people keep playing it, so I’m doing my good deed of the day to bring it up. Just rip this one to shreds whenever you see it. Trust me.
Tomorrow: Guildpact. Love.
-Zac