Hark! Forsooth, ‘tis Tuesday, and I have returned for thy daily repast of deck. Thine eyes do shine at the mention of this holy artifice that doth so consume thy time. Thou art welcome to share mine table as we break forth new ground with yonder cards.
Yestereve we examined a deck most random. Today we shall embark on a similar journey into the realm of Chaos. Surely thou are willing to enjoy another take on yestereve’s procedure?
I understand that the dice most trusted need be used in order to scry into the ether. Verily, the divination stones have fallen and show the number of the trinity, 03. I say unto thee that this sign doth represent a set most ancient. The archaic Antiquities has arisen.
Again, the divination stones are cast. This time landing evenly on a score. The twentieth card in Antiquities doth be Clockwork Avian….
Hold on a second. Clockwork freakin’ Avian? You can’t make this stuff up. Of all of the random cards in the entire game of Magic that I could have rolled, and I get Clockwork Avian the day after getting Clockwork Swarm.
No. Stars, I defy you. NO! I refuse to relent to fate. I’m rerolling. This time I got a 49. Orcish Mechanics. That’s much better.
Clockwork Avian… *mumbles*… not on my watch…
The first thing I decide is that my Orcish Mechanics need friends. They are orcs with catapults, so I figure that they need more artillery friends. After that, it’s simply a matter of fleshing out the deck:
Creatures (20)
Lands (8)
Spells (32)
There are certain ideas and deck archetypes that go back to the very beginning of Magic itself. For example, playing a Cockatrice or Thicket Basilisk then slapping a Lure on it to kill every creature. This combo goes back to the dark ages of Magic, when combos were casual.
Another common combo from this era was Stasis/Birds of Paradise/Instill Energy. You could use Instill Energy to untap Birds and keep a Stasis going forever. Want more early combos? How about Hurricane and Circle of Protection: Green? Howling Mine and Black Vise?
I mention this because I used another old, old classic in this deck. The old Circle of Protection: Red with Orcish Artillery. The Circle will also protect you from the Cannoneers and the Flame Rifts.
When using the Orcish Mechanics, you need to have sac-able artifacts. However, a card like Pyrite Spellbomb doesn’t fit, because it can sacrifice on its own to deal two damage, so it skips the Orcish Mechanics stage.
Artifact lands work, and I tossed in eight. I also have Thopter Squadron, Roterothopter, the Darts, and the Talons. Remember that you can move counters off the Squadron to make a token creature, then sac the token creature. I expect the lands and Thopter tokens to be the typical sacrificial lambs to Orcish Mechanics.
I tossed in a quartet of Shrapnel Blast. With all of the artifacts floating around, it seemed like a good call at the time.
With all of the Orcish damage being doled out alongside damage from Darts and Flame Rifts and Shrapnel Blasts, I thought adding a pair of Talons of Pain would be a nice choice. It’s a beautiful adjunct to a nice damage-oriented deck like this one. Remember that the Talon of Pain triggers for each opponent dealt damage. If you play a Flame Rift at a multiplayer table with five players, then you’ll get four counters. (One for each opponent. You don’t get one for damaging yourself, silly.)
The Thopters are a nice touch in addition to the other creatures and burn in the deck. As artifacts, they can fuel various effects. As flyers, they add another dimension to this deck’s assault. The Roterothopter’s a great, cheap creature, while the Thopter Squadron plays very nicely with other cards in the deck.
Remember, the only White card in the deck is a Circle of Protection: Red. You don’t need White mana to activate it, so feel free to sac an Ancient Den once you have one or more in play.
There are other options for our friends here. You could play Greater Realm of Preservation, for example, and protect yourself from any Black damage that gets sent your way.
Some multiplayer groups loathe hosers like Circle of Protection: Red. In my opinion, certain hosers can be played… if they adhere to the following conditions:
1) When the hoser really isn’t a hoser, like Slay or White Knight.
2) When the hoser is easily handled by the given color, like Circle of Protection: White. Any White deck that complains should be reminded of the legion of ways White has to remove enchantments.
3) Finally, when the hoser plays a vital role in the deck itself. A Hurricane deck with a Circle of Protection: Green, for example.
Still, you always have to be prepared for the person who plays their pet Magical Hack–Karma–Flashfires deck or whatnot. So, be prepared for your group to possibly have whiners about the Circle. Be prepared to argue your case. You can even point them to this article and say that it’s proof. Casual players can play hosers in their decks under the previous three conditions. Why not?
After all, we all know that anything that sees print has to be true, right? Right?
Right?
Until Later,
Abe Sargent