I’m getting frustrated.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been having great fun whenever I play Magic lately, but the problem is I either play super-powered type 1 tournament-caliber decks, or kids’ decks that are so poorly constructed that I run them over no matter how hard I try to lose. I’m not bragging, nor am I bitching about losing; my Magic bread and butter is creativity, and I love the idea of building decks that push the envelope in terms of wacky uses. I’ve used Crystal Quarry, Skirk Fire Marshal, Unnatural Selection (which finds a lot of power with the onset of Onslaught). I love the creativity that Magic breeds, I love the interaction that I have with other players, which is why I try to avoid solitaire combo decks…. But it’s tough! A person can only have so many deck ideas in a set amount of time.
Regardless, I just played quite a few games last week at the game store with some random people from here and there. I built some great decks and had so much fun!
Wait…
No I didn’t.
Why the hell didn’t I have fun?
Seeing as you weren’t there, I think I need to explain.
I started Magic because I got to play with friends, play cool spells, and summon powerful creatures. I spent all of last week’s Magic sessions watching little kids get ripped off in bad trades, playing with guys who pulled out Academy combo decks, Type 1 Gro-A-Tog, and from there proceeded to insist that my decks would need Moxes before I would be able to compete with them.
I was a perfect gentleman about it, mind you. I politely laughed, said,”thanks for the tip,” and promptly continued playing. It hit me then – I had gotten burnt out on Magic. Why was that?
Because I kept hearing the same things over and over. And over. And over. I’m sick of it. I know I said that I am loathe to suggest any broad banning in multiplayer or casual games… But this has gone far enough! I think this is something the world needs to hear for the sake of multiplayer games and groups everywhere.
I am sick of having to hear all these things over and over and over again. And you should be too. In fact, we, the decent, law-abiding Magic-playing players of the world shouldn’t have to hear them more than once in a match, if at all. Let’s sort these out.
I present…
The Official Restricted Comment List*
The”I’m The Yoda Of Deckbuilding” Statements:
- Why aren’t you using (Moxes/Ancestral Recall/Black Lotus/Insert super expensive card here)? You can’t compete without it, and your deck sucks without it!
- Ooooh! Ooooh! There’s a much better card choice than the one you made, and I know what it is despite not having seen your deck/getting my ass handed to me by you! It’s sooooo cool!
The”I’ll Do What It Takes To Win, Even If It Is Cheat” Statements:
- You know, several spells later, realizing that the spell you cast about three or four priority passes earlier would put me in a very bad position. I am turning back time and countering/responding/preventing that spell.
- Hmmm… what will I offer you for your fetchlands and Exalted Angel? I’ll trade you a Wall of Wonder, Mudhole, and Elder Druid for it. What do you mean that’s an unfair trade?
The”That Wasn’t A Real Win” Statements:
- That wasn’t a real win; you only won because of card X.
- That wasn’t a real win; if I had drawn card X you would have lost so badly.
- The only reason you won was because I couldn’t cast my fat beast because I couldn’t find one of my fifteen lands in my seventy-card deck.
- You only won because I didn’t draw my super-duper card of death! Otherwise, you would never have won.
- You only won because of that topdeck.
The”I’m An Arrogant Bastard” Statements:
- Manascrew? Pfft, whatever – that’s such a lame excuse. I’m just better than you!
- There was nothing you could do; I had card X in hand that would make anything you do null and void.
- Counterspells suck. Counters are too good. They should ban counters!
- That card is so cheap. What a no-skill card.
In reference to [author name="Geordie Tait"]Geordie Tait’s[/author] recent article on venting, I am in perfect agreement – sometimes we have to let it all out. We’re not meant to hold in our anger; we’ve seen how people who do that a little too much tend to snap. But also, in reference to Kurt Hahn and his recent article, I definitely agree that too much whining gets you ostracized.
Peer pressure and politics. Between the two (too much whining and expression of discontent), a happy medium has to exist. However, any bitching and whining needs to be done in moderation, and not to the point that people will start to dislike you.
Now, there was a point and time when I would spout the phrases above – but as I learned the ins and outs of Magic, I got used to a lot of things, especially about Counterspells. There are certain principles of deckbuilding that are in effect across all formats, from Type 1 to Block Constructed.
Let’s look at each of these statements.
- Why aren’t you using (Moxes/Ancestral Recall/Black Lotus/Insert super expensive card here)? You can’t compete without it, and your deck sucks without it!
- Ooooh! Ooooh! There’s a much better card choice than the one you made, and I know what it is despite not having seen your deck/getting my ass handed to me by you! It’s sooooo cool!
These are statements randomly screamed out by some arrogant schmuck or some complete random walking by. What’s the core of these statements? These statements usually come from well-meaning people; the problem with these statements is not their intent, but the way in which they are delivered.
A person’s deck is, unless netdecked, a personal creation. With that in mind, if you’re tempted to offer advice on how a particular deck, be mindful that people tend to be attached to them. The problem with making suggestions is that you’re never familiar with the contents of someone’s collections. Not everyone has moxes and the rest of the Power Nine, or some of the more powerful rares. Don’t flaunt yours – and don’t insult people when they don’t have them.
Secondly, if you make a suggestion, make sure it’s a good one.
Finally, and most importantly, watch the way you make a suggestion. Suggestions are just that and should never be forced, insulting, or condescending. Be mellow. Don’t force it. People will appreciate suggestions, but not if they’re crammed down their throats.
Now, those two were the easiest kinds of people to deal with, because you don’t really deal with those people for extended periods of time. But other people, you have to stick with them through and through, much worse during tournament matches. You can’t just walk out of those. You’re stuck with them. First, let’s look at non-tournament whining.
- You know, several spells later, realizing that the spell you cast about three or four priority passes earlier would put me in a very bad position, I am turning back time and countering/responding/preventing that spell.
This offense isn’t seen very often in tournament scenes, because this is cheating. But it gets very annoying, especially if it’s repeated. People tend to ask is whether they can”take back” a move… And in some cases, I generally let those things slide, like when people tap lands to pay for a particular spell. But think of your combat phases. Think of times you or someone else you know has regretted combat because they forgot about certain combat abilities your creatures have? Have they forgotten about triggered abilities like Powder Keg or Sylvan Library? How far back is okay?
If you’re not in a tournament, and this gets annoying, you can just walk away. That’s the good news. The bad news is that it’s hard to gauge just how bad something is. One of my groupmates used to do this often, and it was frustrating. He’d attack, I would reveal Moment’s Peace, and he’d say,”Wait, wait, I won’t attack with this creature, and before attackers are declared, I’ll cast this spell instead.”
- Hmmm… what will I offer you for your fetchlands and Exalted Angel? I’ll trade you a Wall of Wonder, Mudhole and Elder Druid for it. What do you mean that’s an unfair trade?
This is a special class of a-hole. Now, the point of trading is to get rid of lousy cards and improve your collection overall… But this is ridiculous! I saw a very similar situation, in real life, very recently. That was when I saw the trade happen.
Matt** had some cards laid out in front of him, placed on a binder: A Polluted Delta, Akroma, Angel of Wrath, Phage the Untouchable, and Exalted Angel, and in another column, there were three cards: Aluren, Knight of Dawn, and Western Paladin. I was wondering what was going on when I tilted my head a little more, to observe a second binder, and a confused looking kid of no older than twelve. Now, Matt was a seasoned Magic veteran, one who plays 5-color, Vintage tournaments, and everything in between. He knew his cards. He knew values. And deep down inside, I knew he knew what he was doing. I was sickened by it, and you should be too!
Quick poll: Who was cheering for Matt?
For those who were: You all need to turn around, find a short pier, and take a long walk.
What you just saw was theft, people, plain and simple. This was not a bad trade. This was Matt bending this kid over and putting the Catholic Church to shame. People like Matt are the reason you should go out there and buy from StarCity Games; these guys won’t rip you off. How can you not love a shop where the shopkeep loves Hundroogs? (Hundroog! – The Ferrett)
Heck, I’ll bet they have a little Hundroog pound. Adopt a Hundroog now! They make oh so good pets. Me, I’m happy with the Wild Mongrel I picked up from my local pound. He’s playing very nicely with my lizards and wurms.
Avoid these people. Once you’ve traded with someone who’s ripped you off, you shouldn’t care what he has to offer – don’t do it again. Walk away.
Now we’re really getting deep in the crap:
- That wasn’t a real win, you only won because of card X.
- That wasn’t a real win, if I had drawn card X you would have lost so badly.
- The only reason you won was because I couldn’t cast my fat beast because I couldn’t find one of my 15 lands in my 70 card deck.
- You only won because I didn’t draw my super-duper card of death! Otherwise you would never have won.
- You only won because of that topdeck.
These are the arrogant ones – the ones who can never lose. In truth, the last one, the topdeck, can be factored to some extent to deckbuilding and playing to the odds. In some cases, what can I say? I was playing with My Big Black Weapon, having sided in two Duresses against an Oath of Druids deck. I’m at two, holding a Drain Life with lots of mana on the board, with a Morphling on the other side of the table, ready to attack. I rip one of those Duresses, cast it, find that he has a Force of Will and a blue card; I take the Force, and proceed to win the game with a Drain Life.
Yes, I won from a lucky topdeck. So? The problem is when people focus on it way too much. Luck happens, people. Just let it be.
As for the rest, I have this advice for y’all: Look at your deck. Some cards will just cause an auto loss, like a Withered Wretch against a Reanimator deck. Sometimes, you just won’t have the card you need! That’s part of the structure of Magic, and the skill of deckbuilding. It happens. If your opponent isn’t bragging, then just leave it alone. Sometimes, things will just catch you off guard. Just play your games the way you usually do and sometimes, you just have to hope for the best.***
I say that it takes more than just being a good loser to be a gentleman; being a gracious winner is also important. If you run into these comments a little too often, look at yourself. Are you guilty of the above statements? Not just the ones about a real win, but any of them? Do you give unsolicited advice in a rude and pushy manner? Are you a little too happy when you win? Are you condescending when you win?
But some offenses are just about unforgivable. Tolerances may vary, but no one wants to hear these all the time.
- Manascrew? Pfft, whatever; that’s such a lame excuse. I’m just better than you!
Manascrew happens to everyone – and short of power level differences and deckbuilding skill, manascrew is the leading cause of losses all over the Magic World. It is a legitimate reason to lose – unless you’re not running enough land. Then you just need to improve. Admittedly, this is one of the rarer bitchings.
- There was nothing you could do; I had card X in hand that would make anything you do null and void.
Okay, much like the lucky topdeck whine, sometimes this is true. Like the deck advice whines, this comes down to delivery. You’ll have people that do this and are full of themselves; they are usually referring to large creatures. Very rarely is this true – and when it is, you still want to slap the guy. If the guy that lost still insists he could have won, don’t argue. Just let things slide, and just shuffle up.
- Counterspells suck. Counters are too good. They should ban counters!
Ah, classic Magic learning curve stuff. This one comes out most amongst new players and Timmys, who love the fat, fat creatures. There have been articles done about counterspells, pro and con – but the bottom line is that counters are a reality. They’re one-for-one, and are not a solution to everything. No one’s going to have enough Counterspells for everything, and even then, there are some great uncounterable cards. There’s no way to plan for counterspells, unless you’re playing blue yourself (or one of the older, out-of-character cards like Deathgrip or Lifeforce). If you’re playing red, you may have the answer in the form of Red Elemental Blasts or Pyroblasts. If you’re playing black, proactive discard like Duress can be miraculous. Also consider the cantripping new cards Overmaster and Insist. Moreover, you can learn to draw the counters out and lure them to other spells.
That’s just how it works… What would you big monster lovers say if we said the same thing about your beloved fatties? It’s just a reality. Especially in multiplayer games, counters aren’t that great, since that means they’re going to be defending against multiple threats.
Most of the time, my counterspells in multiplayer tend to be cast in defense of my permanents instead of playing the permission game.
- That card is so cheap. What a no-skill card.
Similar to the counterpell crybaby crap, cheap is a term more often seen in arcades and fighting games to describe something with a high reward and little risk. Examples of such cards in Magic include Mana Drain, Pernicious Deed, Morphling, and Coat of Arms.
Whether the player of said card agrees with you or not, the reality is that these cards exist. Your group may want to come up with a banned/restricted list of your own; set your house rules as you see fit, but when you go out into the Wild West that is public Magic, just remember that you’re trying to have fun out there. Find some people that you connect with, that share your attitudes and that you can get along with. And that’s the most basic thing. Have fun! Enjoy.
Be it in a casual duel or a multiplayer game, every now and then, something’s going to come out from right field and catch you – and sometimes everyone else – completely off guard. That’s just how it goes! It’s best to take it all in stride. It’s been said many, many times. I’ll say it one more time: No one likes whiners.
Along with being a sore loser, there’s the issue of being a poor winner. The person I hate most is the guy (most often some punk kid who’s spending all his folks’ money buying cards) who’s going,”my deck is incredible! It’s worth hundreds of dollars! You’ll never beat me with this foil something-or-other!”
Yep – it’s Super Timmy! If you’re at somebody’s house, it’s harder to ignore the guy, since you’re both kind of stuck there, but if you’re in a game store, it’s easy to just set him aside. I said it in my first article – be obnoxious at the risk of being ignored.
Speaking of a good group of people to play with…
Before I sign off, I wanted to take a moment to see who is from the Oakland/Alameda area and is looking for a casual Magic group to play with. Most of the friends I played with from college have gone home, and instead of several times a week, we get together maybe once every other week in a group. I play quite a few games and spend quite a bit of time at local game stores and such, but I would really like to meet up with some folks and just have some fun. If you’ve read my articles, you know the kind of decks I play, and get an Idea of just how casual it is. Bring along that strange deck! Who knows what might happen? Meeting new friends is always a great thing, especially when they’re not crazy. Contact me at berkeleyguyver at yahoo dot com. I have a couple of people in the wings, so I’m hoping for the best.
I highly encourage you all to actively find regular playing partners. Tournaments are one thing, but multiplayer games involve a lot more interaction. You can definitely learn more about a person by the way they sling spells. You meet people and have fun with them. I’ve met a bunch of great people since I started, and through playing a few fun multiplayer games, you will too.
John Alcantara Liu
“I have this feeling that Magic was made when Richard Garfield wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons, but didn’t have dice and a pen and paper handy.”
* – Official only when I take over the DCI =)
** – Names changed to protect the jackassoholic.
*** – Then there’s me, whose first rule of Multiplayer is”The combo deck dies first.”