Thursday
4:06 p.m. Get home from work.
4:07 p.m. Mare tells me to take her upstairs or “face her wrath.”
5:30 p.m. Get dressed. Try to wipe silly grin off face. Fail.
5:31 p.m. Tell wife I’m going to win Regionals now.
5:31 p.m. Wife tells me if I win Regionals I get more nooki.
5:35 p.m. Rod and Mick show up for play testing. I tell them nice timing.
6:00 p.m. Paul and Joshie show up with chips and a twelve pack.
6:47 p.m. Go to store for more beer and pizza.
Rodney’s got a fantastic Blue/Red deck that does surprisingly well right out of the box. Considering we’ve been tuning for weeks, it’s a shock that he can pull some cards together and give game versus almost everything we throw at him. Trolls with Blanchwood give him some trouble. So do little White flying foxes with Jittes attached, but even then at least he has some game against them.
The deck is just a pile of really good cards. Thieving Magpie. Magma Jet. Arc-Slogger. Kumano. Shock. Condescend. Mana Leak. Sorcerers. Meloku. A few other things. In the three sessions he’s tested it, we’ve tuned it a bit more, worked on a sideboard for him.
Bingham shows up a bit later and we share cards. Well, Rodney and I take cards and he, Joshie and Paul give them. Chrome Mox for Mick’s burn deck. Zo-Zu for Mick. More Arc-Slogger for Rodney. Sword of Light and Shadow for me. Being out of Magic for years means we’re a little short.
Friday
6:30 a.m. Log on to MODO. Beat down two stupid punks who call my deck crap. Might of Oaks for the win. Laugh maniacally.
8:15 a.m. Shower. Grab wife’s ass. Tell her to take me to bed or face my wrath. Laughs in my face and tells me to get ready to work. Clearly need to work on threat of “Wrath.”
8:45 a.m. Go to store for Breakfast sandwich and Red Bull. Tabby and Joe holler good morning to me as I come in. Joe is an ex-marine who can’t stay retired. Beefy. Tattooed. Loves to greet and chat with everyone while he works the register. Tabby is a girl I worked with 15 years ago at the Middlebury Inn. Fantastic worker. Always smiling.
8:55 a.m. Show up to work. Len is in. We go through the school marking machines to be replaced with new Dell GX280’s. Make mental note to work on Image next week.
10:30 a.m. Fall asleep in office.
10:45 a.m. Phone rings. Make mental note to turn off ringer during nap time. Boss needs my help at Middle School. Asks me if she should restart machine before I come over. Tell her to restart machine and call me back if that doesn’t work. It doesn’t work. Drive over to Middle School.
11:00 a.m. Office is looking for install files. Point it to correct server. Go back to office.
12:00 p.m. Wake up. Leave early. Go home and mow my dad’s lawn since he and my mom are in Alaska for two weeks. Mow my own lawn. Remember to call Alan back.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“You are coming up here to get Hilary? You got room for me?”
“Yeah. We’re staying at Rod’s tonight, you wanna come?”
“If it’s okay with Rod.”
“I’m sure it will be. Hilary is without a car. Since you’re an hour closer to him, can you pick him up for me?”
“Sure.”
2:30 p.m. Mare comes home from work. I tell her to take me upstairs or face my wrath. She says, “After you win Regionals.”
Make mental note to win Regionals.
Ponder threat of “wrath” and why hers works and mine doesn’t.
2:45 p.m. Fall asleep on couch.
7:30 p.m. Rodney and Hilary show up. Kiss wife goodbye. Tell her to be careful of terrorists while I am gone. Remind her to pull the shades since Terrorists can pass through windows like nothing.
9:30 p.m. Show up at Rodney’s house. Play Magic until 11:00. Call Mare. Make sure she is okay.
“No terrorist attacks?”
“I fought them off.”
“Did the dogs help?”
“They cowered behind me and peed on the floor barking ‘Get them Momma! Get them!’ like we knew they would.” I laugh.
11:05 p.m. Fall asleep on Rodney’s couch.
2:00 a.m. Get up to pee and get a drink. Parched. Check the house for terrorists. Seems secure. Go back to sleep.
6:30 Get up. Shower. Put on ultra cool Superman shirt I can’t find a picture of anywhere on the internet. Look at 39-year-old Magic playing geek in a Superman shirt in the mirror. Give him a smile and a big thumbs up. Tick style.
7:00 am OFF TO REGIONALS!!!
363 people show up for Regionals this year.
Joshie is about the most optimistic and frenetic as I have seen him in months. “We’re gonna do it Jae. POW! Might of Oaks! That’s right biaotch. Take it. POW!”
Justin and Alan take turns shouting to anyone near me “Hey! Isn’t that Jamie Wakefield? Hey, that’s Jamie Wakefield, right there!” This seems to amuse them no end throughout the entire day.
Joshie and I walk around the tables and try to get a feel for the metagame. Hmm, lots of Blue Tron. Lots of MUC. Lots of people who won’t be making top eight as they fail to beat the most popular decks of Burn and Tooth.
Round one is called at 10:30, about 30 minutes late, but considering 463 people, not too bad at all.
John Carroll is my first opponent and he is playing Black/Green. Mmmm… Forestwalk… He is young compared to me. Late teens early twenties at most. Has a very cool chain mail dice bag. Yes, his dice are kept in chain mail.
I start off with a Pioneer and then a Jitte. He plays land and Reach Around. I play a Forestwalker. Since he is ahead on land, he Clouds early leaving me with 2 and him 5. He plays a Sakura-Tribe Elder and an Eternal Witness. I topdeck 2 land in a row and play the Beacon I’m holding. I attach Jitte to a dinosaur and attack. He Barters in Blood and I lose 2 tokens. Then I use the Jitte to deprive him of guys. He gets rid of a Jitte and I play another one. Jitte and a token do five a turn to him until he’s dead.
Game 2.
He starts off with a Forest, Swamp, Elder.
I start off with a Jukai Messenger.
He sacs the Elder and gets a land, untaps, and Persecutes me on turn 3. It’s a lot like getting kicked in the junk. I lose Iwamori, Troll and a Rushwood Dryad. I hold onto two Forests and top deck another Iwamori. A turn later I play him.
He Persecutes me again, and gets a duplicate Iwamori I had just drawn.
I attack with the Iwamori for 5. He has no answer. I draw a Blanchwood Armor and attack for nine. He is at one. He finds no answer and extends the hand.
1-0
Joshie has won and is bouncing off the walls. Alan has won. Justin wins. Paul Wins. Jeremy wins. Bingham wins. Hell, everyone from Vermont wins except for Rodney and Mick.
“Well, I didn’t go 0-2 drop at least,” I think to myself.
“Dude, I played Black/Green, second game, I Might of Oaks a Rushwood, BAM! For the win! It was awesome. Today’s the day dude!”
Round 2 pairings are posted. Hey look, I’m further up the tables. Oh yeah, I remember this. This is the part where I work my way up to the front and stay there. Then I go to Nationals. Yeah, I remember this part. I love working my way up the tables. It’s like a game within a game.
My second round opponent is Ben Peebles. (Pebbles? Not sure I got the name right.)
We chat a bit. He tells me he knows me from the Star City forums and has chatted there as well. Very nice guy. Also young like my last opponent. Late teens, early twenties.
We play slow and deliberate and I feel great about my game. I feel like I’m awake and alive and playing well. A rarity for me this early in the morning. Must remember to get coffee after this round though.
He plays a Mountain.
That’s usually pretty good for me.
I play a Forest, Jukai Messenger.
He plays a Mountain, Slith, thinks for a bit and then says “Wanna trade?” picks up the Slith and motions to me. I pick up the Jukai and block. They go to the grave. He passes the turn.
I play a Forest, nothing.
He plays Mountain, Seething Song, and Slogger.
Huh. This is going to be tight.
I play out a Troll and choose not to block his Slogger so I have a regenerator next turn.
The battle builds to one of epic proportions. I get out a Jitte, but can’t get any counters on it, because if I attack, he can bum rush me and do a lot more to me than I can heal myself. He builds up an army on his side and I build up an army on mine. He has out a Slith, ZoZu, and Slogger times 2, and a Sword of Fire and Ice. My side has a Jitte, Iwamori, Troll, Sakura, and Rushwood Dryad. I’m able to start coming in for a bit with the Troll and Jitte and regenerating and gaining counters…
Eventually, he goes all in, with me at 7, him at 15. He tries to attach the Sword to Zo-Zu, but I kill Zo-Zu with the Jitte in response. Everything comes in. I block and get more counters on the Jitte. It’s not looking good for me. I survive the attack, but lose the Rushwood and the Elder.
I top Blanchwood Armor.
Iwamori Armor’s up. Remove counters from the Jitte to give him +4 +4.
Iwamori comes in for 15 and the game.
We go to the boards.
Game two he again gets a third-turn Slogger. I sac my Elder to go and get a land and answer with a third turn Beacon for 4 chump blockers.
He fails to play a land on turn 4.
I chump his Slogger, play a Jitte.
He fails to play a Land on turn 5.
I play a Troll.
He fails to play a land on turn 6.
I creep one of his 3 lands.
He draws and say’s that’s it. Shows me his hand of 2 more Sloggers and 2 more Swords of Fire and Ice.
2-0
Thoughts of Nationals dance in my head. Damn I feel good! I mentally check for the hand of destiny on my shoulder. The hand that I can always feel when I know I’m going to draw great all day and be lucky and have my deck love me. I don’t feel it yet. It’s tentative, but not there. I can almost feel it, but, not quite. I’ll check again in a couple more rounds.
Joshie comes bounding over to me. “I just smashed Red! Dude, this deck is tight! We’re going to Nationals Jae!”
I won. Joshie won. Alan won. Paul won. Justin won. Bingham won.
Round 3 a.k.a. The Day the Earth Stood Still!
Blah. My note taking skillz r te lose. My opponent is “Chris” and I don’t have his name. I’ll explain why later. Super nice guy. Extremely careful and tactful player. Passed priority to me at every step. Waited for reactions. Just a great player all around.
I look at my opening hand and I see a Pioneer, 2 Trolls, and enough Forests to play them. A superb draw against Burn and a fair draw against Tooth. I almost mulligan it away because if he’s playing Tooth, you really want to see a Forestwalker on the draw. I eventually decide to keep.
“Forest, Pioneer, Forest, go.”
“Tower.”
Groan.
“Forest, Troll.”
“Island.”
Huh. Blue Tron. Might as well make myself comfortable…
Game one looks like this
19 – Pioneer
12 – Jitte and Troll
4 – Jitte and Troll
We go to the boards.
I don’t really know what to do against Blue Tron. I just hate the deck. I don’t think it has any game. I don’t think it has any chance against WW, Tooth, or Burn, so I have no idea why anyone would play it. Much to my joy, there are about 40 copies of it at the tournament today, and after round 6, they are all at the back tables playing each other
The bad thing is, one of the few decks it beats is Green if they don’t get a very fast start. I side in a bunch of Might of Oaks and some Creeps.
Let me once again state my utmost respect for my opponent. Good conversation. Excellent player. Very nice. I enjoyed playing against him a lot. It’s just the deck he’s playing that I hate.
We have a very long, drawn out game 2. The matchup is most likely decided when I fumble, and a Might of Oaks falls onto the table. Yes, that’s right. He now knows I am holding a Might of Oaks, and very wisely keeps enough blockers back so that he never has to take it as a surprise.
He counters some key spells, lets through a few Beacons and then Echoing Truths them, and eventually gets out a Meloku that goes all the way. When the game is done, he tells me the game was most likely decided by me fumbling the Might of Oaks.
Game Three takes us to time. And long past time. We’re still on turn 2 when a second and third judge come over and wonder what the hell is going on. We are surrounded by people. I don’t actually look up to see how many, but it felt like hundreds. And I just know as soon as I’m done, all of my friends will gleefully tell me how I could have won the game and how many errors I made.
It is deathly quiet.
Until Justin walks over and hollers “Is that Jamie Wakefield? WOW! That’s Jamie Wakefield! I heard he has a huge Penis!”
No, I’m not kidding.
I turn about 50 shades of crimson and those not too stunned to silence, laugh.
We end up timing out as I have a Jitte with multiple counters on it keeping me alive against his Trikes. Chris says, “It’s a draw, right?”
I say “yes” and extend my hand.
Two of my friend’s behind me say “No, Wakefield you can untap and win!” thinking I can creep a blocker and come in for a lot. I point out the Oblivion Stone they had missed and for once I am correct. I could not have won.
I did not get Chris’s last name because I usually get my opponent’s last name off the slip, but in this case, the judges have us sign up quickly and take the slip away and I have no time for more notes or to get his last name before rounds are paired up and now….
Now….
Now I’m in the land that time forgot.
The land of the draws.
Luckily, my first opponent in this god-forsaken land is actually a Red player, who drew with his friend in the last round.
Dustin Doggitis is his name and he is the victim of the best draws I see all day.
Game 1 I get a first turn Pioneer, second turn Jitte. He kills the Pioneer when I go to Equip, so the next turn I Beacon. Now I can just keep trying to equip until he runs out of burn or I run out of mana. Then I throw Blanchwood Armor on it so the token becomes King of the Dinosaurs! Dustin’s life total shows 20, 15, 3.
Some good.
I side in 2 Sword of Light and Shadow and out with 2 Rushwood Dryad.
I mulligan to six, but find a hand of 2 land, 3 Sakura Tribe Elders, and an Iwamori. Yeah, that seems pretty good against Red. I play out Iwamori and rip Armor. I come in for 9. Next turn I play a land, play an Elder, sac it for another land, and come in for 11.
God, I love playing Red with this deck.
Dustin, like most of my opponents, was nice but we didn’t get to chat much. It was over too soon.
Finally I get to have a cup of coffee. Make that two cups of coffee. And a Chili dog. And a Coke.
I go watch Alan’s match. He’s playing “Melissa.” A petite girl that Joshie tells me is playing our deck. Neither Alan nor Melissa has lost a round yet.
I go watch, and it’s reminiscent of our deck, but not an exact copy. She has Rushwood Dryads and Blanchwood Armor, and a bunch of other similar cards, but also splashes Black for Terror and Cranial. So, a bit similar, but not our deck.
Alan is playing his own mono-Black Death Cloud creation. It is some good.
There game goes to time as well, with both of them winning one game, and two games being tied when Alan Death Clouds for enough to kill them both. Now they are both in the land of the draws as well.
This brings me to round 5, against, yup, Alan Webter.
Who plays Black these days? Gawd!
Black is usually a pretty hard matchup for Green. But I’m not worried. Alan will get land screwed or I’ll get a nuts draw or something. Because that’s what always happens. Alan smashes me in testing and then I get lucky and beat him in the tournament because the universe likes me better or something. It’s just the way things work. Like if I play someone playing forests, I just win because forests like me better than you. It’s a rule.
I’m smiley guy when we sit down to play, confident in the universe to see me through against Alan. Alan is whatever guy.
I start off with a Pioneer and a Dryad and then a Beacon. Alan keeps necroing himself for 2 life.
Alan’s life steadily dips like this.
20, 18, 17, 15, 12, 7, 1…
And then Alan kills all my guys.
So I play an Iwamori. And at instant speed, Kokusho joins his side of the table with a triumphant wail of death. (Like Dragon’s are wont to do.)
“I’m not afraid of Dragons. I’ll find some Armor and a Jitte and punch that Dragon straight in the maw,” says Iwamori.
Alan untaps and Befouls Iwamori like he was nothing.
Just like that. Like he was nothing.
And then he flies in for 5.
And I went – “huh.” And played a Forest. This didn’t seem that strong a play to me when facing off against a Dragon.
And then Kokusho flew over again like silent death and brought me to 10. And then Alan played another one and I lost 10 life.
Huh.
I side in some Sword of Light and Shadow and side out some Iwamori.
I mulligan to 6 and get a hand of 5 land and a Beacon. That doesn’t seem that strong, but it’s not that bad. Beacon is good vs. Death Cloud, right? It’s not like I’m facing Tooth, right? And is that worse than a mulligan to 5?
Sure. Whatever you donkey. Who wants to go to Nationals anyway?
Alan starts and finishes with the nuts draw. Nezumi Shortfang to start, Chittering Rats turn 3, and then he just starts sticking me until its time to Rack me, and the Beacon is dealt with like it’s nothing. Cause, well, I do it for 4, and he has a 3/3 blocking rack on the board, and a 2/2 rat. So I can come in once for 2, and then bash against them and die.
And I do.
Wow, is Nezumi Shortfang amazing. Or should I say Stabwhisker the Odious?
Some good. Gotta get me some of those.
Whee. 3-1-1. Gotta win out or go home.
Joshie loses too and it’s not looking that great for Joshie Green at Fitchburg Regionals. Too much Blue and Black, not enough Tooth and Red.
I sit down and am pleasantly surprised to see Melissa Detora as my opponent. And she’s playing Green.
I love playing Green. I have more Forestwalkers than her, and Forests love me.
Both people sitting next to me are playing Blue.
Both people sitting next to Melissa are playing Blue.
We are surrounded by the sea.
The evil, vile sea.
I say hello and offer my hand and ask her last name for the report. She tells me and I write down “Beto” And she corrects me and I write down “Deto” and she again corrects me, but my 39-year-old hearing can’t quite grasp what she is saying, so I hand her my notebook and she writes it down. “Detora.”
I smile.
She’s gonna die.
Cause what do we know about people that play Forests against me?
That’s right, they get to have a repairing of the round and I get to play Mono Blue!
Yay!
Wait, what was that? That can’t be right! If I play Blue that means I’m going home. I don’t want to go home. I want to go to Nationals for once.
Yup. That’s right. Playing Jay, with Mono-Blue Control.
Game one I get out a Messenger and a Dryad and he counters everything else. I get him to three and then Meloku comes out. Then his Stalking Stones animate. Then I’m dead.
Game Two I play a Troll and, wonder of wonders, it is not countered! I’m gonna win!
Then I play another Troll and that too isn’t countered. He tries to pretend he isn’t holding a counter and is distressed by this. I’m not buying it.
Oh. I see now. I’m gonna lose.
“I will attack.”
“Hibernate all your stupid crap!”
“Yup.”
“Play some Shackles!”
“Enter the scoop phase!”
I mark “drop” on the sheet and spend the rest of the day getting food for my friends and watching their matches.
I love to watch Magic.
I’ve watched my PT NY tape about two dozen times. I get up in the morning and log onto MODO and watch the finals of the tournaments the night before.
Okay, I gotta finish this up. Forgive me for being brief at the end here, but I’ve been sick for two days and this is already late.
Alan loses in round 8 to a Tooth deck, which puts him out of the top 8, but he finishes in the Top 32 with a deck of his own creation. Some good.
Paul and Justin both represent and make Top 8 as the number one and number six seed. And then their decks decide to go on vacation and abandon them totally in the last round and neither is going to Nationals. Honestly, in Justin’s match, I’ve never seen a Tooth deck have worse draws. And in Paul’s match, his opponent had a brilliant and unique build of Black/Green Death Cloud that had a good chance of beating Tooth anyway. On top of the amazing design, he also got the nuts draw against Paul with one right after another Reap and Sow, then Plow, then Witness, then more land destruction goodness.
Not taking anything away from him for that, he had a great deck, played it well, and had a great draw right when he needed it, and that’s how you get to Nationals.
Congrats Troy Patterson.
Final Thoughts
I am of two minds as I write this. One mind says it was dumb to go to Regionals with a deck that did well against the top two decks, but was only fair against MUC and virtually any flavor of Black. I mean, who hopes to go to Nationals on good pairings? Well, I do. (Joshie reads this over and says “Dude, everyone.”)
The other mind says we made the right choice. It’s really not our fault that 50 people decided to show up with MUC and Mono Blue Tron which we (and everyone else) thought would be completely absent. And as for mono-Black, there were about 5 mono-Black decks out of 363 so being paired up with Alan was just very bad luck. After 6 rounds, the top tables were 90% Green Beats, Tooth, and Burn, all of which we have game against. We just failed to make it through the grind to get to those top tables so the deck had its best matchups.
I buy Justin’s box of Savior’s off him for fifty bucks and it has zero Pithing Needles in it. How are Pithing Needles supposed to help against Top when they are an ultra chase rare?
We get home very early for us, only one a.m. so that was good too. I go upstairs and get undressed, slide my naked body in tight to my wife and whispered “I won Regionals.”
“No you didn’t. Get some sleep.”
Damnit!
I get up Sunday and start constructing Block decks for the NAC qualifiers and PTQ qualifiers in July. The struggle continues.
Zuberas for the winzor!
More on that next week.