From The Lab – Planar Chaos Red in the New Standard

In which our diabolical villain gets to set things on fire with the Planar Chaos Red

cards. Burn baby, burn…

Hmm, the origins and entomology of Pyrohemia…

So what is this actually referencing?

Wikipedia… nope, nothing (by the way you just got an F)

WordNet… “word does not exist.”

I smell a made-up word here, Mr Clever-Clogs Card-Namer. Very lazy. At least Phthisis

actually meant something (even if it was Greek for Tuberculosis).

Pyrohemia… Hmm… Pyro… Hemia…

So Burning Blood wasn’t good enough for you, Mr Clever-Clogs Card-Namer. Had to make

it sound all fancy and mysterious did we. And for the record shouldn’t it be

Pyrohaemia.

Ah, but I suppose I must tolerate our barbaric colonial cousins and their bastardizations

of our beloved Queen’s English.

Lab Notes 06.02.2007.
The inflammatory agent is easily introduced into the subject’s bloodstream through

the use of hypodermic needle. Achieving proper controlled ignition has so far proved

problematic…

Lab Notes 06.02.2007 – add.
Visit Opticians for replacement spectacles.

Yes, this week it’s the Red spells of Planar Chaos. It’s time to set fire to

things and blow sh** up. Ah, good times.

As before I’ll have a look at what Planar Chaos has to offer the Red mages out there

and throw out some theoretical ideas. Once again I’ll stress these are just my first

impressions and don’t qualify as champs-potential winning decks, yadda-yadda. Feel free

to post in the forums and hopefully we’ll come up with something to give a whirl around

20th Feb, or whenever we get to see Planar Chaos on MTGO.

As you read this I’ll once again be demonstrating English people can’t draft

over at PT: Geneva. As at Worlds my embarrassing incompetence will be demonstrated for all the

world to see right here in the “Pro” Player

blog. So we’ll be a little briefer than usual this week (which I imagine our editor

will be grateful for).

Red spells are doing pretty well in the current Standard environment. A look at the

rundowns from last week’s (the week before, actually — I have to write this before

leaving for Geneva and haven’t seen blisterguy or Frank’s weekly rundowns

for this week) online Standard tournaments reveals three decks in the top ten (Dragonstorm,

Angelfire, and Boros) and a number of other strategies waiting in the wings (LD, BlinkRiders,

Izzetron, and Satanic Sligh).

Red currently has a couple of top-notch finishers (Bogardan Hellkite, Demonfire), crazy

mana acceleration (Seething Song, Rite of Flame), land destruction (Stone Rain, Cryoclasm,

Avalanche Darwin) and of course bucket-loads of burn (too many to mention).

This has given rise to a number of successful strategies.

Dragonstorm abuses the ritual effects and brute power of Dragonstorm combined with Bogardan

Hellkite to be the best combo deck of the format.

Aggressive decks like Boros and Satanic Sligh pair fast little beaters with burn to finish

an opponent off. Some, Boros in particular, also take advantage of Red’s mana disruption

to keep opponents off the mana they need to fend off the early beats. BlinkRiders functions in

much the same way except it sacrifices raw speed for more controlling elements.

The control decks look to burn cards like Lightning Helix or even Electrolyse to provide

the point-and-dead and also to Bogardan Hellkite and / or Demonfire as the finisher.

So what changes will Planar Chaos Red make? Let’s take a look at the cards.

Rare
Akroma, Angel of Fury
Boom / Bust
Detritivore
Fatal Frenzy
Magus of the Arena
Molten Firebird
Shivan Wumpus
Torchling
Volcano Hellion

Uncommon
Aether Membrane
Blood Knight
Hammerheim Deadeye
Lavacore Elemental
Pyrohemia
Reckless Wurm
Rough / Tumble
Shivan Meteor
Sulfur Elemental
Timecrafting

Common
Battering Sliver
Brute Force
Dead / Gone
Dust Corona
Firefright Mage
Fury Charm
Keldon Marauders
Needlepeak Spider
Prodigal Pyromancer
Simian Spirit Guide
Skirk Shaman
Stingscourger

While performing a similar exercise as part of a recent MoxRadio podcast, one of the things

I noticed is that Red appears to be suffering from an identity crisis in Planar Chaos. I know

this is the set where things are mixed up, but it seems to be more so in Red.

From White, Red has bludgeoned Armageddon (Bust), Ivory Gargoyle (Molten Firebird), Silver

Knight (Blood Knight — kind of) and even Akroma (err, Akroma mk.II).

From Blue we have Prodigal Sorcerer (Prodigal Pyromancer), and new versions of Morphling

(Torchling) and Man O’War (Stingscourger — he’s even carrying a baby

jellyfish in the artwork).

Green has yielded Giant Growth (Brute Force), Arrogant Wurm (Reckless Wurm), and even a

slightly more expensive Berserk (Fatal Frenzy) in a move that must send shivers down the spine.

Red also gets a Planeshifted Argothian Wurm (now Shivan Wumpus). Oh and Elvish Spirit Guide

(Simian Spirit Guide).

And of course there’s Pestilence from Black (Pyrohemia).

All this swapping is actually quite interesting, as Red gets a bit more depth than

“burn it” or “destroy target land.” But what does it mean for

Constructed?

Ironically, while Red has a bunch of cool new toys, I think its biggest problem may

actually be finding a home for them.

Let’s take a look at these rares. Overall, the Red cards aren’t going to have

the cash value compared to Black, but that’s in part to a certain Planeshifted version of

Wrath of God. Despite this, I think the overall quality is actually quite good with nothing

that really strikes me as an outright useless dud.

First off we have a new version of a fan favourite. Akroma is back, and this time

she’s Red. In fact Akroma is so popular I imagine we’ll see a Black version

(Akroma, Angel of Cool), Blue version (Akroma, Angel of Knowledge) and even a Green version

(Akroma, Angel of

Not-Quite-As-Sexy-As-The-Others-But-I-Have-A-Nice-Personality-If-You-Get-To-Know-Me).

The new Akroma isn’t a direct Planeshifted reprint but rather has a different set of

ridiculous abilities. Some people say she isn’t a patch on the original without the

Vigilance and Haste. To which I say, turn 1 elf, turn 2 morph, turn 3 Seething Song…

Condemn this!

You know someone’s going to try it.

I don’t think she’ll replace Bogardan Hellkite as the finisher of choice in the

big mana decks (you’re going to hear that a lot), but she may have a role as an alternate

win condition in Dragonstorm (nice Trickbind / Shadow of Doubt there… take six).

While Akroma mk.II will create the biggest splash, the sensible money is on Boom / Bust for

the best red rare. Originally I thought Boom was a bad Raze, and the card was basically a

fairer costed Armageddon in miniature. However, the wording on Boom is “target land you

control,” not “sacrifice a land.” Aside from the obvious combo with

Flagstones of Trokair there are a number of ways you can make sure you don’t actually

lose a land. Targeting a sac land such as Terramorphic Expanse turns it into a straight Stone

Rain, while Fathom Seer can save any Island facing Boom.

The other half is basically Armageddon, and it will probably be the final nail in the

coffin for countermagic-free control decks. If you’re mana-intensive, this card is going

to be your worst nightmare.

Boros is going to love Boom / Bust. It already runs Flagstones to abuse Boom, but now

might even go back to running Boros Garrison to ensure it hits Bust mana as well. Either way

is pretty good disruption against most decks.

Continuing the theme of blowing lands up, we also have Detritivore and Shivan Wumpus.

I’m not sure where to evaluate Detritivore. On the one hand it is an uncounterable

source of land destruction. On the other it’s painfully slow and needs a lot of mana to

get started. Extended may be slightly more welcoming with all the Onslaught sac lands floating

around, but even there he’s just a shabbier Terravore.

The first thing to say about Shivan Wumpus is you absolutely should not be playing it in

your Limited decks. Like the punisher cards, it gives your opponent a choice, and if

they’re ahead on the board position they just get to Time Walk you for the simple cost of

sacrificing a land. In Constructed its relative value goes up a great deal as you can engineer

the situation to make none of the choices particularly good. Turn 1 elf, turn 2 Stone Rain,

then Shivan Wumpus puts them in a very hard place.

Groundbreaker, attack, cast Fatal Frenzy on Groundbreaker, sacrifice Groundbreaker to

Greater Good…

Again, I’m not sure where to put Fatal Frenzy. The extra two mana is a significant

increase from Berserk, and there are probably better pump options in Stonewood Invocation and

Might of Old Krosa (although Fatal Frenzy plus Might of Old Krosa…).

Morphling was the undisputed Superman for much of its time in Constructed. Despite sharing

many of the abilities, I suspect Torchling may only be the pretender to the throne. In fact,

if Morphling returned right now, I suspect it’d wonder what the hell had happened to its

kingdom. Torchling doesn’t fly, but it’s more aggressive in that it goes out and

seeks things to kick the crap out of. The redirection ability may look harsher than

Superman’s untargetability, but in reality can be got round by any spell that can target

multiples (the Fireball trick of targeting b and c for 0 damage always used to be the classic,

although I think has been fixed in recent times).

The biggest problem for Torchling in Constructed is where does it go? Again, it’s

unlikely to replace Bogardan Hellkite as the big mana finisher. Would Morphling have even got

off the bench in recent times? Still, accelerating it out on turn 4 (or earlier) with Seething

Song with mana open to protect is pretty good.

This just leaves us with Magus of the Arena, Molten Firebird, and Volcano Hellion.

“Cockroaches” have got better since Ivory Gargoyle’s day, so I’m not

sure Molten Firebird will get off the bench when Shard Phoenix is barely being used. Magus of

the Arena is big, with a fairly scary ability for creature-based decks. He may have a spot in

some form of big Red deck, but he faces a lot of competition. The same is true of Volcano

Hellion unless you really, absolutely want to give that Stuffy Doll a right good kicking

(Combo!).

Into the uncommons and some potential playables.

“Behold the Blood Knight. Swords slide off him, Condemn doesn’t touch him,

and even Lightning Helix leaves him unscathed. After many years of persecution we finally have

a knight with Protection to match our hated White enemies. Ha ha, your time of destruction is

at hand. We can match your Paladins and Silver Knights and Soltari Priests. The Blood Knight

is mighty, the Blood Knight is unstoppable, the Blood Knight…”

“Wrath?”

“Bugger.”

He’s not Silver Knight, but Blood Knight will probably still have occasions where he

is randomly annoying in the same way that Stromgald Crusader can occasionally irritate Boros.

Satanic Sligh may find a home for him, but quality Red weenies are a bit thin on the ground at

the moment.

Pyrohemia is Pestilence and will spawn umpteen decks in the same way Pestilence did, as

umpteen billion players reach the conclusion: “If I play it with pro-Red guys like

Soltari Priest then Pyrohemia never goes away.” Expect to run into it in the MTGO casual

rooms, a lot. Probably in conjunction with Stuffy Doll.

And while we’re talking about Stuffy Doll, I suppose it might be worth mentioning the

other comedy combo — Shivan Meteor. Alternatively, for when you absolutely have to kill

that Krosan Cloudscraper. Yes, I’m being silly.

Timecrafting may do something, or it may be rubbish. It’s one of the cards that

sails under the radar until Sylvain Lauriol and co. combine it with another card that nobody

else looked twice at and create another crazy egg deck.

Continuing Red’s theme of cards that sort of do something but probably won’t

get played, we have a pair of elementals. Sulfur Elemental can’t make up his mind

whether he’s hating White guys or pushing them over the edge. On one hand he gives Red a

way of killing Soltari Priest (on the off-chance they haven’t seen Desert), and on the

other he can help White’s myriad assorted bears to come in for extra damage. He’s

an option for the budget conscious, anyway.

Lavacore Elemental offers the more interesting Constructed possibilities. As a 5/3 for 2R

he’s aggressively costed but also dangerously fragile. The important thing to remember

is each creature that deals damage puts a counter on, so if you manage to connect with a guy

and then connect with him and the same guy, the Lavacore Elemental is probably staying around

for a while. I’ve played against him in draft, and while I’d normally think of him

as a bad card, Brute Force and Fury Charm completely fouled my attempts to get him under

control. Despite this I think his drawback is too much for him to really make it.

All those people who hated the madness era of Odyssey might want to look away now.

Arrogant Wurm is back, and he’s Red. Red now has two fantastic madness cards, in

Reckless Wurm and the reprint of Fiery Temper. Fortunately Wild Mongrel didn’t come

back, and the two-mana Madness enablers are fragile enough that making this guy on turn 3

won’t be as easy as it was before.

I thought I’d save the best of the uncommons until last. The split cards are proving

very solid for Red, and I think Rough / Tumble will play a part in Constructed. The best think

about it is the differences in functionality. Against most decks Rough is Pyroclasm (with the

exception that it fails to kills Birds of Paradise), but what really pushes it over the edge is

Tumble. Pyroclasm is fantastic against weenie rushes, but is scarcely run maindeck as it is

virtually useless against control decks. Rough / Tumble has the advantage in that it can be

used as Pyroclasm against the decks where it’s needed, but isn’t dead if you happen

to be drawn against control decks. In that matchup you just use the other half to Tumble

dragons and other assorted finishers out of the sky.

And finally, we have a brief look at the commons.

Brute Force stands out. Later incarnations of Zoo were running Giant Growth, and now Brute

Force gives two-color Boros the option if it needs it.

Dead / Gone rounds off the excellent split cards. Dead will shoot Birds of Paradise and

Savannah Lions all day long, and while Gone is a little costly for the effect, it at least

gives Red decks a way to clear a fatty out of the road while it nips in for the last damage.

Unfortunately, that fatty is usually Loxodon Hierarch.

Dust Corona has the same stats as Rancor, and can make fliers unblockable, but we’ll

leave it there as Rancor is looking a little insulted.

On the other hand, Simian Spirit Guide is in the same class as Elvish Spirit Guide. Red

has a scary amount of mana acceleration at the moment. I’m not sure Dragonstorm will

want it, but it should at least be tried. Where it might be most dangerous is in an Extended

deck such as TEPS or Goblins.

The final card is more of a Limited specialist, but it may crop up in constructed.

Stingscourger is almost a Man O’War, but the echo cost is very prohibitive for

Constructed. It may give Standard goblins a bit more oomph, and is obviously much better with

Thick-Skinned Goblin in play. At the worst, you can always feed it to a Greater Gargadon.

I’m running short of time at the moment (I’m in Geneva, and the Pro Tour starts

tomorrow), and I don’t actually have access to the Internet for reference. You’ll

have to excuse the scrappy nature of potential decks. Feel free to embarrass me in the forums

with the obvious cards I’ve certainly missed.

And finally, for the sheer amusement:

Man, I’m so getting lynched. Flame resistant suit at the ready I guess.

Until next time, burn stuff!

Prof