{From Right Field is a column for Magic players on a budget or players who don’t want to play netdecks. The decks are designed to let the budget-conscious player be competitive in local, Saturday tournaments. They are not decks that will qualify a player for the Pro Tour. As such, the decks written about in this column are, almost by necessity, rogue decks. They contain, at most, eight to twelve rares. When they do contain rares, those cards will either be cheap rares or staples of which new players should be trying to collect a set of four, such as Wildfire, Llanowar Wastes, or Birds of Paradise. The decks are also tested by the author, who isn’t very good at playing Magic. His playtest partners, however, are excellent. He will never claim that a deck has an 85% winning percentage against the entire field. He will also let you know when the decks are just plain lousy. Readers should never consider these decks “set in stone” or “done.” If you think you can change some cards to make them better, well, you probably can, and the author encourages you to do so.}
I have heard from many folks regarding ultra-rares and the like. (Just look at the forum replies on last week’s piece. Whoa.) People wanted to talk about “standard deviations” and “statistically-relevant sample sizes.” What do I care about that? That doesn’t help me pull Sacred Foundries Link this from packs, gang! I wanted to know what to do about this horrible streak I’ve been on for the last six years, in which chase rares from the big expansion typically elude me. Only one person, someone named Harmon or Landon (I get them confused because one is blonde with hair cut like a Marine and the other has dark hair like Ozzy on a long, rockin’ night or Michael Bolton before his haircut-for-charity stunt), figured it out. It’s simple.
The Gods of Magic hate me!
Identifying the problem is only the beginning. In order to change the outcome, we need to know how to change what’s causing the problem. So, does anyone know how to make the Gods of Magic stop hating me? I mean, what have I done? Is it that I write about cheap, janky, non-Pro-Tour-winning decks? Is it the fact that I’m now a—gulp—cat guy? (We just got our fourth. Yes, our fourth. His name is George. As in, “I will love him and hug and squeeze him and call him George.”) Please, help me. I want to be the guy who busts four black-bordered Birds of Paradise—one of them foil—in a box of Ravnica, while getting zero Mindmoils.
By the way, isn’t the moil the guy who cut the foreskin off of my winky?
Enough of that, though. What you want to know about is the first week of Ravnica on Magic: The Gathering Online and what happened with You Stinker. To refresh your memory, I bought two Golgari Deathcreep precon decks and melded them together. The first version was:
You Stinker, V.1.0
23 Lands
9 Swamp
10 Forest
2 Golgari Rot Farm
2 Svogthos, the Restless Tomb
23 Creatures
4 Elves of Deep Shadow
2 Golgari Guildmage
4 Stinkweed Imp
3 Golgari Brownscale
4 Shambling Shell
2 Savra, Queen of the Golgari
2 Golgari Rotwurm
2 Golgari Grave-Troll
14 Other Spells
4 Darkblast
2 Vigor Mortis
4 Recollect
4 Putrefy
Some people—the ones who weren’t obsessing about chase rares—mentioned that “that’s not how JMS does it. He plays the deck unchanged first. Then he modifies it.”
Newsflash: I’m not JMS. He does his thing, and I do mine.
Also, I’ve actually played with some of these cards while testing for States. The dimmer lights just had to go by the wayside. For example, Infectious Host is too expensive for what it does. For three mana, the Host is a lousy 1/1 that makes your opponent lose two life when it hits the ‘yard. For three mana, you can have the Golgari Brownscale, which is a 2/3 and makes your opponent lose two life every time it hits him. In addition, the Brownscale gains you life when it comes back to your hand, and it has Dredge to help you do that.
Then, there’s the Elvish Skysweeper. It’s great against fliers. I’ll keep it in the sideboard until I see some.
The Key Question
To put all of this another way, why play with cards that I simply know are not as good as others in the deck? Why waste time playing games to prove that to myself?
“Because you stink?”
Shaddup!
Some of the cards were tough choices. Last Gasp, for example, is a pretty nice piece of removal, reminiscent of Smother in that it’s a two-mana instant that pretty much kills anything that costs three mana or less. However, the deck already had Darkblast for weenies and Putrefy for everything else. On the other hand, I like lots of removal in my decks. This is what made it a hard decision.
What? You think I just throw these things together on the fly with no thought involved?
Don’t answer that. Thank you for being so considerate.
Day One
Game One: His first non-land permanent was Rukh Egg. I figured either I was in for a big problem, or he just had a janky deck.
It was a big problem.
The deck was a U/R deck with Traumatize and Magnivore. Oddly, he Traumatized me, and not himself—a play that would have helped Magnivore. This gave me a Stinkweed Imp very quickly. Stinky held off whatever he had. He conceded. (1-0)
Game Two: My opponent had to mulligan to five, which is never good… But there was no real need to concede to third-turn Shambling Shell. Was there? (2-0)
Game Three: My opponent let me know that he had no Ravnica cards yet. But that was no big deal, because he had a tight R/G deck featuring Kodama of the South Tree] and [[Path of Anger’s Flame. Thank goodness for Dredge. Had I not been able to bring back Darkblast (which took out both his second-turn and third-turn Hearth Kami), Golgari Grave-Troll, and Stinkweed Imp, he would have rolled me. I did, and he didn’t. (3-0)
Game Four: What are friends for, if not to beat you at your own game? Bill Bryant challenged me to a game. Turns out he bought two of the Boros Guild precons and smooshed them together. Here’s a little Ravnica math for you:
Sunforger + Pretty Much Any Critter > Most of What You Got, Clem
At this point, I had noticed two things. First, I had yet to even see Putrefy. Second, Recollect had been simply sitting in my hand every game. I never wanted to cast it, because everything that I might want back, I could Dredge back. With cards like Golgari Grave-Troll, Dredge is better.
Which reminds me of something humorous that Bill said. I said, “You know that Grave-Troll is great when pros put it in decks that can’t even cast it—namely, Psychatog—just because it’s so good at filling the ‘yard.” To this, Bill said, “Do you think The DCI would ever ban an entire mechanic?” (3-1)
Game five: Even though I lost to Bill the previous game, this was my hardest one yet. You see, Bill had me on the ropes from the get-go, and Sunforger just drove it home. In this one, I had to work, and I had some tough decisions to make.
One nice thing: I got to cast my first Putrefy. It took out a Silklash Spider. You wouldn’t think that the Silklash Spider would be tough on this deck, but when he also has Blinding Angel, and the Stinkweed Imp is the only way to keep it in check, the Spider is a major pain. Things went from bad to worse when he cast Congregation at Dawn and grabbed Paladin en-Vec, Blinding Angel, and another Silklash Spider.
I finally got Savra. Doing Silly Shell Tricks (tm) with her and the Shambling Shell left my opponent with no creatures and gave me yet another concession. (4-1)
Game Six: A lesson in why mass removal is a Good Thing. He turned a first-turn Isamaru, Hound of Konda into a second-turn Ninja of the Deep Hours who was soon wearing Phantom Wings. Had Putrefy or Stinkweed Imp ever showed, well…. that would have been nice. Except that Eight-and-a-Half-Tails soon showed up! A single Hideous Laughter (note to self: put this the sideboard, already!) would have made all the difference. (4-2)
Game Seven: My opponent was playing—well, I don’t know. I saw two Islands and two Plains. I was pretty sure that I was walking into a Wrath of God. However, when I dropped the Golgari Guildmage—not my idea of a fearsome creature—he conceded. (5-2)
Game Eight: I didn’t know what kind of mana curve my opponent was running, but it looked awful. The first play was Scion of the Wild, and even at five land, he was complaining about mana hosing. So I offered him a rematch. (6-2)
Game Nine: Another lesson in mass removal, and maybe a suggestion that I ought to have Rolling Spoil in the sideboard. Turns out he was running two of the G/W precons rolled into one (and here I thought I was being original!). Normally, that wouldn’t seem to be a problem. I mean, look at the deck. It became a huge problem, though, when I couldn’t find any creature kill. I kept Dredging and Dredging ’til my dredger was bledged [Bledged? -Seamus]. By the time I found one, he had a horde of Saprolings, and I only had eight cards left in my deck. He threw out a Selesnya Guildmage for gits and shiggles, and watched me go from twenty to negative twenty in one alpha strike. (6-3)
Game Ten: When she accelerated into some quick Mountains from Forests and Sakura-Tribe Elders, I figured, “Oh great, Wildfire.” Thank goodness it was everything but Wildfire. I survived two Flame Waves, Blaze, and Shivan Dragon (thanks to a Putrefy brought back by Recollect). The Golgari Brownscale kept my life total high enough that small burn spells weren’t going to end the game. Finally, a large Grave-Troll ended it. (7-3)
Go Go Golgari Guildmage
Okay, time to make some changes. First out, Golgari Guildmage. On the surface, the card is awesome. Look at those abilities! The problem, though, is the activation cost. Not once in ten games did I have the mana to activate either of them; if only they cost two mana, like the Boros Guildmage. Alas, there are only about four thousand Magic cards that would be much better if they cost less.
Those two are making room for two Last Gasps. I thought about Hideous Laughter, given how mass removal would have helped in a couple of games, but I wanted to try a couple of pieces of targetted removal first. I’ll leave the four Hideous Laughters in the sideboard for now. That’s all we’ll change at the moment. I thought about dropping the Recollects down from four to three, simply because much of what I want to bring back Dredges itself back. This doesn’t include Putrefy, Savra, or Vigor Mortis—so all four Recollects stay, for the time being. Total cost for this: nothing, since Last Gasp came in the precon.
Okay, that’s enough for tonight. More games tomorrow night.
Day Two
Game Eleven: Hey, more Magic math:
2 Kokusho, the Evening Star + 2 Phyrexian Arena + 3 Consume Spirit = Game Over
Interestingly, Putrefy and Stinkweed Imp kept me alive all the way until turn 13. Oh yeah, and Savra, aided by Cruel Edict. You see, with only Kokusho on board, she cast Cruel Edict. I sacrificed Savra and used both triggered abilities. That left nothing on her side of the board….Well, except for lands and two Phyrexian Arenas. The Arenas were too much for me. I really need to get some of those. (0-1)
Game Twelve: This game was the first time that I cast Last Gasp, and it worked wonderfully. An Air Elemental put the kibosh on combat until I pulled the Last Gasp off of the top of the deck. I swung with everything, including my Elves of Deep Shadow. When he blocked with the Elemental, it was dead. Between countermagic and bounce, he did his best to keep my boys at bay, but the onslaught of Dredging would not abate. (1-1)
Game Thirteen: I’m pretty sure that this was a mono-White Samurai deck. A second-turn Samurai of the Pale Curtain met a Last Gasp, while a Devoted Retainer got hit with a Darkblast. After I dropped Golgari Brownscale, of all things, he conceded. (2-1)
Game Fourteen: It looked like she was playing two copies of the Dimir precon deck melded together—seems to be a popular concept. As far as I can tell, another piece of Ravnica math looks like this:
Dredge > Making Me Put Cards Into My ‘Yard
While she milled cards into my graveyard, I was able to play pretty much anything. A very large Grave-Troll was the straw that broke the camel’s back. (3-1)
Game Fifteen: Ah, the mulligan. For the first time, I had to mulligan to fewer than six cards. Five, to be exact. That’s never a good thing, especially when the other guy has a well-designed U/B deck. His Moroii went all the way for him when I couldn’t keep a Stinkweed Imp on the board or resolve a Putrefy.
Card drawing was the big difference. Before the final turn, I was at four and he was at two. Either of my guys getting through meant that his Moroii would actually end the game during his upkeep. All I needed to do was get a Stinkweed Imp to stay and block or get Putrefy to hit his flier. Because of the cards he drew, neither happened.
I need Phyrexian Arenas. (3-2)
Game Sixteen: Okey dokey. Mulligan again. This time, I had to go down to four cards. I did get a Swamp, two Forests, and a Shambling Shell, but that’s not great, unless something else follows up.
It did.
His first-turn Elves met with the Darkblast that I drew off of the top of my deck. It turns out that he was also playing G/B. He just wasn’t Dredging nearly enough. I kept bringing back the Shambling Shell until something more powerful showed up in the ‘yard. When I cast a 10/10 Grave-Troll, he conceded. (4-2)
Okay. I know how this works. Once I start having to mulligan excessively on MTGO, it will continue the entire night. Time to hit the hay. I’ll finish this part tomorrow night.
Day Three
Game Seventeen: Ouch. A completely tricked out Sunforger-Godo deck in the Casual Room?
Whoa.
Well, it did show me one thing: This deck needs another card that says “Destroy target creature.” When the Sunhome Enforcer hit, I had only Last Gasp in hand. That’s not enough to do the job without a blocker. When I finally got Putrefy, she had Sunforger. I had to get rid of the Sunforger first. Rend Flesh needs to be in here. (4-3)
Game Eighteen: I mulliganed to four. Not good. Especially when his first play is Isamaru, Hound of Konda. Also, Hand of Honor is not good for this deck; only the Elves, the Brownscale, and the Grave-Troll can do anything about him. Again, Hideous Laughter will have to be in the sideboard. Fortunately, I already have them in my collection, so adding them will cost zero tickets, just like Rend Flesh. (4-4)
Game Nineteen: He was playing a G/W/r Convoke deck. I’m not sold on Convoke as a mechanic outside of Limited. He made much bigger critters than mine, but it left him with only one creature untapped when he did. Putrefy, Last Gasp, and Stinkweed Imp solved those problems. A Stinky with Shambling Shell-donated counters ended up going all the way. (5-4)
Game Twenty: This was the last game before the next round of changes. My opponent was playing a G/W Convoke deck like the last game, but had much better creatures, including multiple Watchwolves. He had me twenty to two at one point. Dredge to the rescue! My life went up as I brought back the Brownscale. Two absolutely huge Grave-Trolls hit. He couldn’t do anything except block. (6-4)
What a Deck Needs
It’s pretty obvious that this deck needs a couple of things. First off: card drawing. And in Black, that screams Phyrexian Arena. I went shopping, and found someone who sold me three of them for six tickets (that’s $6, for those of you who don’t know MTGO).
What comes out, though? The two Vigor Mortises and a Recollect. Vigor Mortis is probably best in a Reanimator-type deck. It never did much in this deck, because of the Dredge mechanic and Recollect. The deck also needs a creature kill spell that can hit pretty much anything. Last Gasp was nice, but Rend Flesh is better. Out comes the Last Gasps and a Darkblast. So, here’s how this week ends:
You Stinker, V.3
23 Lands
9 Swamp
10 Forest
2 Golgari Rot Farm
2 Svogthos, the Restless Tomb
21 Creatures
4 Elves of Deep Shadow
4 Stinkweed Imp
3 Golgari Brownscale
4 Shambling Shell
2 Savra, Queen of the Golgari
2 Golgari Rotwurm
2 Golgari Grave-Troll
16 Other Spells
3 Darkblast
3 Phyrexian Arena
3 Rend Flesh
3 Recollect
4 Putrefy
I’ll play the next ten games with this deck and see how it fares. I’ll be finish up with it next week. It’s less than thirty dollars so far. Can I keep it that way? Only The Shadow knows . . . .
Why Does Romeo Want to See Uncut Sheets of Magic Cards?
As usual, you’ve been a great audience. So, you deserve the answer to this question. It seems to have been bugging a lot of folks over the last week. You want the real, honest answer? I think uncut sheets of cards are mondo cool, and I’ve never seen an uncut sheet of Magic cards. Have you? (Yes, but not in person — The Ferrett) When I was in the baseball and football card business, I saw plenty of uncut sheets. Heck, I still have an entire set of 1981 Donruss (their first year) in uncut sheets. The error sheets, no less. I really want to see Magic cards that way. Is that so wrong? If it is, I don’t wanna be right.
Chris Romeo
FromRightField-at-AOL-dot-com