Hey everyone and welcome back to Building On My Budget (BOMB)! For this week, I built a Modern deck that made me want to shoot myself in the head virtually every game I played, was no fun for my opponents to play against, and gave me carpal tunnel syndrome.

You can stop reading this article now. See you after Grand Prix Richmond!

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. . .

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Okay, really, see you next week!

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Fine, here’s the deck:

The deck is designed to win by going infinite with double Myr Retriever and Heartless Summoning. Once the loop gets going, you can make an arbitrarily large Storm Entity, an arbitrarily high storm count for Grapeshot, or an arbitrarily large gravestorm count for Bitter Ordeal.

The problem, as I found out, is that arbitrarily large includes clicking "ok" several dozen to a hundred times per combo. I’m sure there were some Magic Online shortcuts I missed, but *spoiler alert* skip down to my fourth game against kang8r.

Okay, are you back now? Of course not—nobody skips down! Let me walk you through that game as it happened to me.

Turn 1: Swamp, Inquisition of Kozilek, make him discard Stonecloaker.

Turn 2: Blackcleave Cliffs, Heartless Summoning.

Turn three: Dragonskull Summit, Transmute Shred Memory for Myr Retriever.

Turn 4: Here’s the fun, kids!

Click #1: Cast Myr Retriever (free because of Heartless Summoning).

#2: Cast 2nd Myr Retriever (automatically targets the first since it’s the only artifact in my graveyard, thank god).

#3: Cast Myr Retriever a 3rd time.

#4: Cast Myr Retriever a 4th time.

#5: Cast Myr Retriever a 5th time.

#6: Cast Myr Retriever a 6th time.

#7: Cast Myr Retriever a 7th time. Yes, I really am going to do this in this article. If you are going to playtest this deck, for the love of god, do it offline!

#8: Cast Myr Retriever an 8th time.

#9: Ponder my mortality. Cast Myr Retriever a 9th time.

#10: Cast Myr Retriever a 10th time.

#11: Cast Myr Retriever an 11th time.

#12: Cast Myr Retreiver a 12th time.

#13: Cast Myr Retriever a 13th time. Lucky number 13. I think my opponent auto-yielded priority here.

#14: Cast Myr Retriever a 14th time.

#15: Cast Myr Retriever a 15th time.

#16: Cast Myr Retriever a 16th time.

#17: Ponder downloading an auto-clicking program. Instead, cast Myr Retriever a 17th time.

#18: Cast Myr Retriever an 18th time.

#19: Cast Myr Retriever a 19th time.

#20: Cast Myr Retriever a 20th time. My opponent didn’t mulligan this game, and I played first, so only 30 more casts to go until I can gravestorm Bitter Ordeal to remove their entire deck in one turn!

#21: Cast Myr Retriever a 21st time. Concede already, damn you!

#22: Cast Myr Retriever a 22nd time.

#23: Cast Myr Retriever a 23rd time. Apologize in my head to Jamie Wakefield for playing this deck.

#24: Cast Myr Retriever a 24th time.

#25: Cast Myr Retriever a 25th time. Halfway there!

#26: Cast Myr Retriever a 26th time.

#27: Cast Myr Retriever a 27th time.

#28: Cast Myr Retriever a 28th time.

#29: Cast Myr Retriever a 29th time. Take a moment to flex my hand.

#30: Cast Myr Retriever a 30th time.

#31: Cast Myr Retriever a 31st time. This would be so much easier if I could just verbally tell my opponent "I repeat this action one hundred billion million times."

#32: Cast Myr Retriever a 32nd time.

#33: Cast Myr Retriever a 33rd time.

#34: Cast Myr Retriever a 34th time.

#35: Cedric, I swear I’m not trying to pad this article; I just want to get across the mind-numbing tedium I endured comboing off with this deck. Cast Myr Retriever a 35th time.

#36: Cast Myr Retriever a 36th time.

#37: Should be playing Anti-Idle: The Game on Kongregate instead. More interactive. Cast Myr Retriever a 37th time.

#38: Cast Myr Retriever a 38th time.

#39: Cast Myr Retriever a 39th time.

#40: Cast Myr Retriever a 40th time. Seriously, folks, if you ever have anyone ask why Wizards discourages this sort of combo deck existing, just point them to this article.

#41: Cast Myr Retriever a 41st time.

#42: Cast Myr Retriever a 42nd time.

#43: Cast Myr Retriever a 43rd time. Fun fact: I am typing Myr Retriever each time instead of copying and pasting!

#44: Cast Myr Retriever a 44th time.

#45: Cast Myr Retriever a 45th time.

#46: Cast Myr Retriever a 46th time.

#47: Cast Myr Retriever a 47th time. I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

#48: Cast Myr Retriever a 48th time.

#49: Cast Myr Retriever a 49th time.

#50: The Count from Sesame Street would be proud that I’ve taken his lessons to heart. Cast Myr Retriever a 50th time. Ha ha ha!

#51: Cast Bitter Ordeal targeting kang8r.

#52: Oh snap! I have to click "choose the same target" for each gravestorm copy? Wah! Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #1.

#53: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #2.

#54: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #3.

#55: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #4. This is my fifth Bitter Ordeal since I at least get one for the original spell. This also reminds me that I cast Myr Retriever one too many times because I didn’t account for the original Bitter Ordeal. Oh dear!

#56: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #5.

#57: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #6.

#58: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #7.

#59: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #8.

#60: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #9. Why isn’t kang8r conceding? I will see this through, even if it cripples every tendon in my wrist!

#61: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #10. Wait, how many tendons does a human wrist have anyhow?

#62: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #11. Wikipedia is no help here.

#63: Oh wait, now that I am copying and pasting the gravestorm copies, I hit control V on the wrong thing. Make that choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #12.

#64: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #13.

#65: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #14

#66: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #15

#67: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #15

#68: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #17. Just kidding about the last one being #15 a second time. Are you still even paying attention to this article anymore?

#69: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #18.

#70: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #19

#71: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #20. Do you realize we aren’t even at the halfway point of this turn yet and we’re already 71 clicks in?

#72: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #21.

#73: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #22

#74: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #23

#75: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #24

#76: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #25—halfway through this round of clicking!

#77: I know there’s a shortcut here—please spam the comments of this article so I never go through this ordeal again. Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #26.

#78: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #27.

#79: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #28.

#80: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #29.

#81: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #30. 30 is unfortunately a number smaller than 50.

#82: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #31.

#83: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #32.

#84: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #33.

#85: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #34.

#86: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #35.

#87: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #36.

#88: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #37.

#89: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #38.

#90: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #39.

#91: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #40. This goes a lot faster (or slower) when I cut out the witty banter!

#92: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #41. Wait, who am I talking to?

#93: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #42. Me. This is your conscience speaking.

#94: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #43. Wait, I have a conscience that speaks to me through post-game article write-ups on a MTG website?

#95: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #44. Yes.

#96: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #45. Am I sure that I’m just not hallucinating both sides of this conversation?

#97: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #46. Even if you were, it’s more interesting than mindlessly clicking your mouse for the past five minutes.

#98: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #47. Conscience, that is true. So how have you been lately?

#99: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #48. Good, Mr. Bleiweiss, and yourself?

#100: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #49. Quite fine, pip pip. I could use a spotta’ though.

#101: Choose the same target for Bitter Ordeal gravestorm copy #50. Well, now that you’re done with gravestorm copies, I’ll leave you to your internal karma meter. Toodles!

#102: Resolve gravestorm copy #1. Hello.

#103: Remove card #1 from my opponent’s library. Is there anybody there?

#104: Resolve gravestorm copy #2. Just nod if you can hear me.

#105: Remove card #2 from my opponent’s library. Is there anyone at home?

#106: Resolve gravestorm copy #3. Come on now

#107: Remove card #3 from my opponent’s library. I hear you’re feeling down

#108: Resolve gravestorm copy #4. I can ease your pain

#109: Remove card #4 from my opponent’s library. Get you on your feet again.

#110: Resolve gravestorm copy #5. Relax.

#111: Remove card #5 from my opponent’s library. I’ll need some information first.

#112: Resolve gravestorm copy #6. Just the basic facts!

#113: Remove card #6 from my opponent’s library. Can you show me where it hurts?

#114: Resolve gravestorm copy #7. Yes, I have stooped this low to try to make this sequence of events anywhere near interesting.

#115: Remove card #7 from my opponent’s library. Speaking Pink Floyd, which album is more depressing?

#116: Resolve gravestorm copy #8. The Final Cut or Eels Electro-Shock Blues?

#117: Remove card #8 from my opponent’s library. Personally, I’d go with the latter. It’s a deeply moving album about one man’s journey into depression and insanity in the wake of his mother dying of cancer and his sister committing suicide.

#118: Resolve gravestorm copy #9. Revolution #9. Revolution #9. Revolution #9.

#119: Remove card #9 from my opponent’s library.

#120: Resolve gravestorm copy #10.

#121: Remove card #10 from my opponent’s library.

#122: Resolve gravestorm copy #11.

#123: Remove card #11 from my opponent’s library.

#124: Resolve gravestorm copy #12.

#125: Remove card #12 from my opponent’s library.

#126: Resolve gravestorm copy #13.

#127: Remove card #13 from my opponent’s library.

#128: Resolve gravestorm Copy #14.

#129: Remove card #14 from my opponent’s library.

#130: Resolve gravestorm copy #15.

#131: Remove card #15 from my opponent’s library.

#132: Resolve gravestorm copy #16.

#133: Remove card #16 from my opponent’s library.

#134: Resolve gravestorm copy #17.

#135: Remove card #17 from my opponent’s library.

#136: Resolve gravestorm copy #18.

#137: Remove card #18 from my opponent’s library.

#138: Resolve gravestorm copy #19.

#139: Remove card #19 from my opponent’s library.

#140: Resolve gravestorm copy #20.

#141: Remove card #20 from my opponent’s library.

#142: Resolve gravestorm copy #21.

#143: Remove card #21 from my opponent’s library.

#144: Resolve gravestorm copy #22.

#145: Remove card #22 from my opponent’s library.

#146: Resolve gravestorm copy #23.

#147: Remove card #23 from my opponent’s library.

#148: Resolve gravestorm copy #24.

#149: Remove card #24 from my opponent’s library.

#150: Resolve gravestorm copy #25.

#151: Remove card #25 from my opponent’s library.

#152: Resolve gravestorm copy #26.

#153: Remove card #26 from my opponent’s library.

#154: Resolve gravestorm copy #27.

#155: Remove card #27 from my opponent’s library.

#156: Resolve gravestorm copy #28.

#157: Remove card #28 from my opponent’s library.

#158: Resolve gravestorm copy #29.

#159: Remove card #29 from my opponent’s library.

#160: Resolve gravestorm copy #30.

#161: Remove card #30 from my opponent’s library.

#162: Resolve gravestorm copy #31.

#163: Remove card #31 from my opponent’s library.

#164: Resolve gravestorm copy #32.

#165: Remove card #32 from my opponent’s library.

#166: Resolve gravestorm copy #33.

#167: Remove card #33 from my opponent’s library.

#168: Resolve gravestorm copy #34.

#169: Remove card #34 from my opponent’s library.

#170: Resolve gravestorm copy #35.

#171: Remove card #35 from my opponent’s library.

#172: Resolve gravestorm copy #36.

#173: Remove card #36 from my opponent’s library.

#174: Resolve gravestorm copy #37.

#175: Remove card #37 from my opponent’s library.

#176: Resolve gravestorm copy #38.

#177: Remove card #38 from my opponent’s library.

#178: Resolve gravestorm copy #39.

#179: Remove card #39 from my opponent’s library.

#180: Resolve gravestorm copy #40.

#181: Remove card #40 from my opponent’s library.

#182: Resolve gravestorm copy #41.

#183: Remove card #41 from my opponent’s library.

#184: Resolve gravestorm copy #42.

#185: Remove card #42 from my opponent’s library.

#186: Resolve gravestorm copy #43.

#187: Remove card #43 from my opponent’s library.

#188: Resolve gravestorm copy #44.

#189: Remove card #44 from my opponent’s library.

#190: Resolve gravestorm copy #45.

#191: Remove card #45 from my opponent’s library.

#192: Resolve gravestorm copy #46.

#193: Remove card #46 from my opponent’s library.

#194: Resolve gravestorm copy #47.

#195: Remove card #47 from my opponent’s library.

#196: Resolve gravestorm copy #48.

#197: Remove card #48 from my opponent’s library.

#198: Resolve gravestorm copy #49.

#199: Remove card #49 from my opponent’s library.

#200: Resolve gravestorm copy #50.

#201: Remove card #50 from my opponent’s library.

#202: Resolve the original Bitter Ordeal. Why did I cast it one too many times?

#203: Pass the turn. Win.

So yes, 203 individual clicks on turn 4 in order to get my combo off and win the game. This was not fun for me at all. I think this deck has potential if you play it either U/B or Grixis, but I was so demotivated after playing just eight games with it that I prayed for sweet merciful death and started planning out my deck for the next Building On My Budget.

Here are some of the highlights (lowlights?) of my playtest games:

Game 1: karasinkohu2, U/W Control

I led off with Inquisition of Kozilek and saw double Cryptic Command in karasinkohu2’s hand. They got to four mana before I could combo off, making it virtually impossible for me to win because of their ability to bounce my Heartless Summoning plus counter one of my key spells in the same turn.

Record: 0-1

Game 2: itsjustmegreg, U/B Control

Itsjustmegreg played a Nightveil Specter on turn 3 and proceeded to use it to rip Shred Memory off the top of my deck, making it virtually impossible for me to win before I died to the Specter. Yes, this should have been my signal to just give up on this deck entirely.

Record: 0-2

Game 3: KNTM, Reanimator

I got a turn 2 Heartless Summoning, turn 3 Shred Memory, turn 4 go infinite, drawing a concession. Note that this was the only time I drew a concession in a win versus having to combo off all the way.

Record: 1-2

Game 4: kang8r, Mono-White Aggro

See the recounting at the beginning of this article. I swear to god and all that is holy, I am not typing that out again.

Record: 2-2

Game 5: theglitterbus, Merfolk

I led off with double Inquisition of Kozilek and got Aether Vial and Master of the Pearl Trident. Theglitterbus’ hand was two lands and a bunch of higher-cost stuff. They then drew two copies of Master of the Pearl Trident, a Phantasmal Image, and a Cursecatcher with which to beat me down.

Record: 2-3

Golgari Thug was pretty useless, and I was drawing enough win conditions each game, so I took out Storm Entity in favor of more discard and more draw.

Out:

In:

Game 6: HandsomeBoyMS, Jund

I got all the pieces except for one. He got Sarkhan Vol, ultimated it, and then dropped a second Sarkhan Vol to kill me in one turn. I drew about eight extra cards this game, none of which let me get together the entire combo.

Record: 2-4

Game 7: Malbete, Mono-Black Combo

Tip: Playing a combo deck that revolves around Teferi’s Puzzle Box and Howling Mine is not going to win against a deck that can combo off at a moment’s notice.

Record: 3-4

Game 8: aflowerispower, Bant

Aflowerispower got multiple shroud creatures plus a Worship. Yet again I assembled all the combo pieces but one. They used Wargate to get Leyline of Sanctity. I conceded.

Record: 3-5

All kidding aside, I think the shell of this deck has potential, but I would for real take out the Inquisition of Kozilek, some of the black card draw, and one Grapeshot and one Bitter Ordeal in favor of adding blue and cards like Serum Visions or something to dig for combo pieces a little better (Dimir Infiltrator and Muddle the Mixture for example).

Next week I’m going to be taking a break from Building On My Budget to write a post-event wrap-up for Grand Prix Richmond. This article will go up on Thursday of next week in place of my normal BOMB article. Two weeks from now BOMB will return to Standard with a deck that I’ve been excited about for the past three weeks!