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From Right Field: You Still Stink

When we last left our intrepid hero he was massaging a dredgeariffic budget deck online. How has the deck morphed since that time, and is it good enough for you to want to play for yourself? The answers are inside.

{From Right Field is a column for Magic players on a budget or players who don’t want to play netdecks. The decks are designed to let the budget-conscious player be competitive in local, Saturday tournaments. They are not decks that will qualify a player for The Pro Tour. As such, the decks written about in this column are, almost by necessity, rogue decks. They contain, at most, eight to twelve rares. When they do contain rares, those cards will either be cheap rares or staples of which new players should be trying to collect a set of four, such as Wildfire, Llanowar Wastes, or Birds of Paradise. The decks are also tested by the author, who isn’t very good at playing Magic. His playtest partners, however, are excellent. He will never claim that a deck has an 85% winning percentage against the entire field. He will also let you know when the decks are just plain lousy. Readers should never consider these decks “set in stone” or “done.” If you think you can change some cards to make them better, well, you probably can, and the author encourages you to do so.}


When we last left our intrepid hero (as opposed to our Intrepid Hero), this was the budget deck that he was massaging online:


You Stinker, V.3

23 Lands

9 Swamp

10 Forest

2 Golgari Rot Farm

2 Svogthos, the Restless Tomb


21 Creatures

4 Elves of Deep Shadow

4 Stinkweed Imp

3 Golgari Brownscale

4 Shambling Shell

2 Savra, Queen of the Golgari

2 Golgari Rotwurm

2 Golgari Grave-Troll


16 Other Spells

3 Darkblast

3 Phyrexian Arena

3 Rend Flesh

3 Recollect

4 Putrefy


I’m just gonna cut to the chase.


Game 21: I could give you a long, drawn-out, blow-by-blow account on this one. I think all I really need to say is this. His first three lands were Overgrown Tomb, Overgrown Tomb, and foil Overgrown Tomb. His first creature was a foil Grave-Shell Scarab. The fact that it took him until turn nineteen to kill me makes me feel pretty good. The saddest part was that I got to play my new Phyrexian Arenas, but he had maindeck Naturalizes. Of course, that’s a good idea with all of the Jittes and Sunforgers running around, but why can’t I use my Phyrexian Arenas the first time I get to cast them? (0-1)


Game 22: Are ya kidding me? Followed Footsteps on a Verdant Force? And me with no Putrefies or Rend Fleshes anywhere. Not even in my ‘yard to Recollect. By the time I could kill the Enchanted Force, he had two VF tokens. (0-2)


Things were not going well in cheap G/B land.


Game 23: Finally, a win. He was playing a tricked out U/B Dimir deck with Szadek, Lord of Secrets. At first I thought, “Excellent. Cards in my ‘yard.” Then, I realized how big he got and how quickly. The first swing (five cards) wasn’t bad. Two more, and I’d be decked. Fortunately, I had Putrefy, Recollect, and lots of mana by that point. Countering the first Putrefy was not going to do much good. Finally, a bunch of Shambling Shells and even Savra swung for the win. (1-2)


I noticed something else after this game. The Golgari Grave-Troll was never getting very big. I wondered why? Oh, right. Only twenty-one creatures in the deck at that point. What could I do to change that?


Game 24: This was one of those really annoying decks because, on the one hand, other than basic lands and Sakura-Tribe Elders, everything was rare, but, on the other hand, they were (mostly) janky, dollar rares. He quickly accelerated into two Heartbeat of Springs and an Early Harvest that allowed him to cast Grozoth – yes, really – and grab stuff like Myojin of Life’s Web (times three), Plague Wind (times two), and, of course, three more Grozoth. I tried to be annoyed at all of the rares, but I was too busy laughing. (1-3)


Game 25: Seven cards; no lands. Six cards; no lands. Five cards; no lands. I finally kept four with two Swamps and two Golgari Brownscales, a double-Green creature. Guess what? I lost. (1-4)


Game 26: His seventh turn took six minutes. I kid you not, homeslice: six minutes. He had some Early Harvest / Recollect / Tidings thing going. I just sat there waiting for him to Stroke me out or whatever the kids call it today. In the end, after six minutes, he ended up with a few more lands and a Carven Caryatid. Hmmmmm… Okay. I Putrefied the Caryatid and swung for the win with the Golgari Rotwurm and a Shambling Shell. (2-4)


I’ve got it! Darkblast should be Festering Goblin. Sure, Festy can’t be Dredged, but he does help the Grave-Troll get a bit bigger. (That change makes it version four.)


Game 27: Another two-Selesnya-precons-smooshed-together deck. The big Convoke creatures were no match for the removal spells. (3-4)


Game 28: Yet another G/W Selesnya deck, but this one had been redesigned a bit better. There were Glorious Anthems, for example. There was also the “Romeo gets no removal” mojo which is a surprisingly common maindeck choice, though completely understandable. (3-5)


Game 29: I’ve found that weenie decks tend to give this one some problems. This person had a nice White Skies deck complete with Glorious Anthems and Story Circles. Story Circle is bad for this deck, mmmmm-kay? If they call Black, there aren’t too many cards in here that can deal damage to them. On the other hand, life loss can’t be stopped by the Circle, and Golgari Rotwurm’s activated ability causes life loss, not damage. (4-5)


Game 30: This was a nicely done milling deck with multiple copies of Glimpse the Unthinkable, Dimir Cutpurse, and Psychic Drains. As I believe I’ve mentioned before, though, in Ravnica math class, Dredge > Milling. (5-5)


Well, these versions only went 5-5, but it wasn’t because of the changes, as you can see from the actual games. Even so, I’ve found that there aren’t enough good early plays in the deck. I also need another creature that sacrifices itself. For this next version, I’m going to drop the Festering Goblins and one of the Elves of Deep Shadow for four Sakura-Tribe Elders. This should help accelerate some of the spells even though I’ll be losing some of the removal that Festy represented.


You Stinker, V.5

23 Lands

10 Forest

9 Swamp

2 Golgari Rot Farm

2 Svogthos, the Restless Tomb


24 Creatures

3 Elves of Deep Shadow

3 Golgari Brownscale

2 Golgari Grave-Troll

2 Golgari Rotwurm

4 Sakura-Tribe Elder

2 Savra, Queen of the Golgari

4 Shambling Shell

4 Stinkweed Imp


13 Other Spells

3 Phyrexian Arena

4 Putrefy

3 Recollect

3 Rend Flesh


Game 31: He got mana hosed. He only got three lands which, it turned out, were the three lands in the opening hand. So, it proves nothing with my deck. I didn’t even see an Elder. Bah. (1-0)


Game 32: Those darn Zubera. I couldn’t break through. My opponent, meanwhile, just kept getting more and more lands. “Wah,” cried my opponent. Normally, that would have stunk for him except for one thing: Tatsumasa, the Dragon’s Fang. With all of that mana on the other side, I could never get him to the point where I could destroy the Dragon’s Fang (i.e. tapped out of mana). (1-1)


Game 33: I’m not sure what G/W can do against a deck like this if it’s not running Glare of Subdual. They typically have no removal other than Wrath of God and no way to protect their guys. I have to remember that when building mine. (2-1)


Game 34: This opponent professed love – or at least admiration – for my work. I knew there was something wrong right from the beginning. His deck was also G/B, but I got the early mana acceleration and card drawing via the Arenas. (3-1)


Game 35: Between my Phyrexian Arena and his Kami of the Crescent Moon, I nearly decked myself. In fact, when the game ended, I was at two life with zero cards in my deck. *whew* (4-1)


Game 36: This was that Heartbeat of Spring / Maga, Traitor to Mortals deck. I used the Golgari Brownscales to keep my life as high as possible, but I couldn’t keep it high enough. (4-2)


Game 37: Even with a day in between, I got another Maga deck next. This time, however, I got enough removal to prevent the excessive mana. (I killed two Daughter of Seshiro in a row.) I also gained about sixteen life from sacrificing Elders with Savra on board and Dredging back Brownscales. (5-2)


Game 38: This person was trying to work a neo-Blue Skies deck, splashing some Black. It couldn’t keep up with the steady stream of threats I was able to Dredge u, though. When it did get a creature, I had Putrefy or Rend Flesh. (6-2)


Game 39: He had a very nicely developed U/B Dimir deck, but it wasn’t based on decking. It was very aggressive, with the Doppelganger and Circu. It was quite a tight game until I found a Rend Flesh for Circu. I held it until his hand was empty which was risky for me. If he had cast a spell that removed Rend Flesh, I’d have been sunk. (Putrefy was already gone.) (7-2)


Game 40: This opponent was sporting one of those spiffy new R/W decks. While Lightning Helix is bad mutha, it still just kills one creature at a time. And I can bring them back from the dead. (8-2)


This was it. The final changes before heading into the Tourney Practice room. I didn’t want to make this next change. I really didn’t. I’ve been fighting it, but Golgari Rotwurm has to make way for Nantuko Husk. I don’t like losing the Rotwurm’s beef, but the deck needs a way to sac creatures without spending mana. The Husk is huge for that. (Man, do I miss Fallen Angel and Phyrexian Plaguelord.) This move also cost zero tickets since I have Husks. However, it shouldn’t cost more than a ticket for four of them. The sixth version looks like this:


You Stinker, V.6

23 Lands

10 Forest

9 Swamp

2 Golgari Rot Farm

2 Svogthos, the Restless Tomb


24 Creatures

3 Elves of Deep Shadow

3 Golgari Brownscale

2 Golgari Grave-Troll

3 Nantuko Husk

3 Sakura-Tribe Elder

2 Savra, Queen of the Golgari

4 Shambling Shell

4 Stinkweed Imp


13 Other Spells

3 Phyrexian Arena

4 Putrefy

3 Recollect

3 Rend Flesh


Game 41: Read the cards, folks. I let a Hammer Giant live way too long because I didn’t notice that it was doing damage to me, too. (It had been enchanted or aura-ed or however you verb it now with Unholy Strength.) It was late, and I was stupid. (0-1)


Game 42: This was a G/R Arcane deck with lotsa stuff onto which Glacial Ray could be Spliced. It was another close one, but the power of Savra came through again. (1-1)


Game 43: Game three with the Nantuko Husks, and they never showed up. Or rather, they all debuted in my graveyard, thanks to Dredging. Given his first play was Genju of the Fields, the Husks would have been nice. I could have sac-ed things to the Husk before the Genju dealt damage. Instead, I had to play the long game, the very long game. I whittled him down to just the Genju with a Putrefy in my hand. I swung with two huge Grave-Troll and an even larger Svogthos. When he activated the Genju, I killed it. He was holding one card, and I was worried that it was Chastise, since I’d seen two before. It wasn’t. *whew* (2-1)


Game 44: Is there a good mono-Black control deck out there? I think there is. Starting with Genju of the Fens (which he did), you then move into Cruel Edict (three times), Consume Spirit (twice), and hand destruction. Thanks to Grave-Trolls and Svogthos, I was able to pull it out. Again though, very close. (3-1)


Game 45: The story of this game is short and ugly. I had to mulligan to four while he had such cards as Umezawa’s Jitte, Ink-Eyes, and Sickening Shoal. (3-2)


Game 46: I was sure that this was lost early. I had to mulligan to five while he started the land destruction. Somehow, I pulled it out. Okay, not “somehow.” Sakura-Tribe Elder and Golgari Brownscale did it. (4-2)


Game 47: I believe this is the first time that a deck designed to deck me actually decked me. He used Tunnel Vision and named Elves of Deep Shadow. It left me with only nine cards in my deck, and I couldn’t pull out of it. (4-3)


Game 48: This was another R/W Boros deck, and I couldn’t get any creature kill. He had one – count it, one – Boros Recruit for the first ten or so turns. But it was wearing the Sunforger. I Dredged about fourteen cards into my ‘yard. When I finally got a Rend Flesh, he had Agrus Kos and the Sunhome. (4-4)


Game 49: I thought this game was over when he dropped Moroii and had counter backup while I couldn’t get Rend Flesh, Putrefy, or Stinky. Again, though, the Grave-Troll showed why he’s one of the best creatures going. It wasn’t long before he had to stop attacking and throw his Moroii in front of the Troll. (5-4)


Game 50: You know what stinks when you’re playing a Green and Black deck? When no Green mana shows up. I kept a three-land hand because I could play Stinky and Rend Flesh. Forests never showed. (5-5)


Okay, no more casual room for me. Not that I wanted to leave on a 5-5 record, but time was an issue here. I had a column to turn in. Onto the Tourney Practice room. Geez, I hope people don’t just concede when they see that this isn’t one of the established Tier 1 decks. First, though, I need a sideboard.


Obviously, I need some sort of enchantment destruction as well as more artifact destruction. That means Naturalize and/or Creeping Mold. I’ve already discussed the need for mass removal for weenies. In go four Hideous Laughters. I also notice a lot of disturbing lands around. I like Rolling Spoil for those. As a bonus, it wipes out weenies. Finally, I need to hose decks that abuse their graveyards. Nezumi Graverobber or Reito Lantern? Each has benefits and drawbacks. The Graverobber removes the card from the game while the Lantern puts it back into their deck where they can go get it. The Lantern, though, doesn’t die to creature removal (unless it’s Putrefy). This was the sideboard that I took with me into the Tourney Practice room.


15 Sideboard

4 Hideous Laughter

3 Nezumi Graverobber

3 Naturalize

2 Rolling Spoil

2 Creeping Mold

1 Nightmare Void


Yes, I wish I had more Nightmare Voids, but I honestly could not find anyone to trade for them. Could be I was on at the wrong time. Who knows? Anyway, I had all of the other cards, but I can’t see them costing more than three tickets. You should be able to get the set of Laughters for one ticket while the Graverobbers, Molds, and Naturalizes should be two tickets at a maximum. (You’ll probably end up with some extra commons, too.)


Match 51: Another Maga-Heartbeat of SpringEarly Harvest combo deck. Ugh. When did these things becomes so popular online? I had to mulligan to five in game one, keeping a three-land hand with no Green mana sources. In all of the games I’ve played with this, I do believe that this was the first one in which I got color-hosed for Green. Not that it would have mattered. He had a lot of fun playing with himself until his Maga spewed all over me. For game two, I dropped the Rend Fleshes for the Naturalizes. The Heartbeats were what helped him power out such big Magas. I never saw one. (0-1)


Match 52: Holy steaming turd on a stick, I just beat Flores Blue. Where do I sign up for the Pro Tour? Game one was all about Dredge being better than countermagic. Also, I snuck in an Arena. He valiantly held the field by getting out Keiga while he was at one life, but I had Nantuko Husk on the board. When I finally killed Keiga, he had nothing he could take, since I’d sac it to the Husk. He tried to take the Husk, but I sacced it to itself. For game two, I forgot to bring in the Hideous Laughters, and Meloku & Co. went all the way. What I did bring in was the one Nightmare Void for a Brownscale. When I cast it, it got Hindered. The bottom of the deck is no place for a Dredge card. I was a bit smarter for game three. I dropped the other two Brownscales, a Shambling Shell, and an Elves for the four Laughters. They did their job while a Grave-Troll did his. (1-1)


Match 53: Ugh. White (red) Weenie. I knew this would be a very, very tough matchup. Game one was just a bye for him. I couldn’t keep up with the steady stream of 2/1 Lions and 2/2 fliers. I sacrificed creatures in an attempt to keep him from gaining life with the Lightning Helix, but that just mean fewer blockers. For game two, the Rend Fleshes and one Elves came out got the Laughters. It seemed risky to drop removal, but the mass removal was more important. And it worked like a charm. Once he knew I had them, he was waiting for a Glorious Anthem. By the time it showed in game two, it didn’t matter. For the second game in a row, however, he was more than happy to sac his Kami of Ancient Law to kill my Arenas. So, I dropped them for Naturalizes for game three. The final game went even more smoothly. With no Anthems to keep his guys out of Laughter range and Stinky taking out the bigger guys, it ended 2-1 in favor of You Stinker. (2-1)


Match 54: This was a very unusual W/R deck. In game one, his first three creatures were Savannah Lions. Of course, he didn’t want to lose them to two Sakura-Tribe Elders and a Stinkweed Imp, so they stayed put. I expected to see the typical Leonin Skyhunters and Suntail Hawks, but the next thing up the mana curve was Sunhome Enforcer. The great thing about the Shambling Shell is that it prevents the Enforcer from ever dealing damage. While the Shell was holding off the Enforcer, a Stinkweed Imp was collecting Shell counters and swinging for the win.


For game two, I brought in the three Naturalizes to deal with Loxodon Warhammer and Glorious Anthem in exchange for the Brownscales. This was the game that I found out what he really wanted to do: play with all four Firemane Angels. Even with him having access to all four at one point and the mana to reanimate them one at a time, it took twenty-two turns for the game to end. It ended when I conceded, since I knew there was no way I was going to win unless he just screwed up badly. (I know that Sun Tzu would say that I shouldn’t interrupt my opponent while he was making a mistake, but this was merely testing. No need to test to see if I can trick him into letting me win. Is there?) For game three, I dropped the Arenas for the Graverobbers. I couldn’t afford the loss of life if the game was going to go long, and I desperately needed to get the Firemanes out of the game.


Things were going well in game three. I had stalled him, killed an Angel, and removed it from the game, being careful not to flip the Graverobber. However, the game was going long, and I had to get to work. So, we adjourned. I’m sure that I would have won the long game since Dredging means never having to worry about top decking, but I’m only going to count this as a draw. (2-1-1)


Match 55: Mono-Green? Really? Without Plow Under? Actually, it may not be a bad idea. Right now, Green can kill artifacts instantly, and that’s a big deal with Umezawa’s Jitte and Sunforger running around. It can also kill creatures. “No it can’t!” Yes, it can. Remember, Gaze of the Gorgon can be played in a mono-Green deck. Anyway, this guy was trying to use the Dredge Gang and Blanchwood Armor along with Loxodon Warhammer to just plow through. Game one was tough because he had more Grave-Trolls than I did. However, I had all of the removal. For game two, I dropped the Brownscales for the Graverobbers, and his stuff never came back from the dead. (3-1-1)


Match 56: This deck has no game against Enduring Ideal in game one. I brought in the Naturalizes and Creeping Molds taking out the Arenas (again, I couldn’t handle the life loss in a long game) and two Husks. He got off an early Ideal and grabbed the Mindcage. I Naturalized the Mindcage at the end of the turn. With his Ghostly Prisons and Hondens, though, it wasn’t enough. (3-2-1)


Match 57: Oh, geez. Flores Blue again. Am I good enough to beat this deck twice in one week? Long answer short: no. This guy didn’t panic and lay out a Meloku without any mana up like the last guy did. That means that I didn’t get to kill it in game one. For game two, I took out the Arenas, an Elder, and a Brownscale for the four Hideous Laughters (I remembered!) and the Nightmare Void. This game, the Void worked a couple of times. While it did get countered once, it didn’t get Hindered, so I could bring it back until his hand was emptied. On one particularly good turn, I cast Rend Flesh on Meloku. In response, he made a bunch of Illusion tokens. After Meloku was gone, I Laughtered away the rest of the stuff. I was left with a 3/4 Stinkweed Imp and a very large Grave-Troll. For game three, I mulliganned to five to get two lands and never saw another. (3-3-1)


At this point, I didn’t feel too bad. I had beat Flores Blue once and had lost to it once only because I couldn’t cast any spells. (Okay, I might have lost to it anyway, but I know that the reason that I lost that third game was inability to play spells.) I had logged as a draw a match that I’m sure I would have won. (What was he going to do? Cast Wrath? My guys would come back; his wouldn’t.) Instead of 3-3-1, I could easily have been 5-3. The last three matches would tell the tale. Interestingly, they all turned out to be other G/B decks.


Match 58: Our decks were almost identical, but I didn’t have the guts to ask if he’d read my column. (Of course, it could also be that it’s obvious which cards to use.) I don’t think he had Phyrexian Arena. If he did, I never saw it. I saw mine, though. In this kind of mirror match, card drawing usually wins. He did have Vulturous Zombie, but it met an untimely death at the end of the turn that it hit the board thanks to Rend Flesh. I didn’t do any sideboarding for game two. (4-3-1)


Match 59: In this match, the tables were turned. I never saw an Arena, but he did. Also, he had the Grave-Shell Scarab. I also noted that through the last four games against G/B, I had never had Putrefy. (4-4-1)


Match 60: This is the end, the final games, my friends. My opponent was Robert Gorhum, an unfortunate young man who is forced by our government to live in Hawaii. Luckily for him, he has found Magic as a way to pass the time until Uncle Sam sends him back to wherever. Must be pretty good, too, since he took third place in the Hawaii Regionals this year. Robert was playing Geordie Tait G/B deck from last week, the one with Grave Pact and Mindslicer. Robert also pointed out that Gorgeous Geordie Tait and Golgari Grave-Troll have the same initials! Coincidence? I think not. Anyway, what these two very swift games proved was that Grave Pact is just ugly when coupled with creatures that can sacrifice themselves and is downright heinous when those creatures can come back from the dead. (4-5-1)


Well, there you have it. I wasn’t too happy, finishing under .500 in the Tourney Practice room, but it was close. Man, do I want to finish that adjourned game. I’m sure that the deck is stronger than I made it look. As usual, my sideboarding skills are suspect. Geez, I need a tutor.


“If I Were a Rich Man…”

There you have it: a G/B deck that you can make in your own kitchen for less than thirty bucks. What if you’re rich or just won a thousand dollars from your local KISS-FM by naming all of Paula Abdul’s Top 40 hits? What cards could such a person add to this deck?


Four cards should jump out at you right away: Birds of Paradise, Llanowar Wastes, Overgrown Tomb, and Grave Pact. The first three are obvious inclusions. They fix the mana, though, if you look back at my sixty games, very, very few were lost due to having the wrong colors.


Grave Pact in You Stinker is simply a steel-toed boot to the groin for most beatdown decks. With Savra and Grave Pact on board, every Black creature that you sacrifice means that they (potentially) have to sac two creatures (if you pay the life). That is just so wrong that it ranks up there with Lindsay Lohan deciding that she needed to be a skinny ho like Paris Hilton instead of her nice, normal, curvaceous self.


A couple of non-mana-bug creatures that would be good in here are Mortivore, whose G/B exploits I chronicled a few weeks ago, and Mindslicer, currently trumpeted by StarCity’s own resident curmudgeon Geordie Tait. Mortivore is obvious. You saw how big the Golgari Grave-Troll would get thanks to Dredging. The ‘Vore benefits, too. The Mindslicer is a bit more subtle, though. As GT_Money points out so eloquently:


After the big bang [i.e. Mindslicer going from play to the ‘yard], they tiptoe past upkeep like they’re on a blind date that could go either way. Every draw is an adventure for them. What’d ya draw, Blue Boy? Oh look – a bad removal spell. Oh look, land. Oh look, Remand! Me, my draws are always the fabled extra-delicious. The booyah hotties who fuel puritan ire. They rip “land, counterspell, land,” you draw Grave-Shell, Grave-Shell, Shambling Shell, you can’t tell me that it’s still a game.


An interesting enchantment to look into is Golgari Germination. I’ve used this in a couple of drafts, and it’s simply Oscar Mayer good. By that I mean, you can throw almost anything in, and it’s gonna taste good. If you have Savra, Grave Pact, and the Germination on board when you dump a Shambling Shell, they lose two critters while you lose none. Is that good?


Oh, yeah, you could also look at going up to four Golgari Grave-Trolls, Savras, Nantuko Husk, Phyrexian Arena, or any card that’s not currently a four of. Grave-Shell Scarab is worth a peek, too.


Finally, Might of Oaks would be worth testing out. There were at least six games in which an unblocked Stinkweed Imp (because who wants to lose their Shivan Dragon?) would have ended the game if the Might came down.


Where would you fit any of these in? What would you take out? I dunno. You tell me.


As usually, you’ve been a great audience. Next week, I start with the Boros precons. Why? Because I’ll get two Sunforgers and four Lightning Helixes!


Chris Romeo

FromRightField-at-AOL-dot-com