Hey everyone! Today’s article is going to begin a set review of Planar Chaos, and it’s going to be long. Therefore, introduction over!
Aeon Chronicler
For those of you who have gone through my (admittedly incomplete — where did half the colors go!) review of Time Spiral, you’ll know that I tend to shy away from strategy talk in these reviews, and find points of more interest. Ironically, I’m going to start off the Planar Chaos set review with strategy talk.
Aeon Chronicler is my pick for the sleeper card of the set right now. Maro has always been on the fringe of playability, but it’s in the color that (before now) was short on card drawing. Aeon Chronicler, if you took away suspend, is a Blue Maro that costs one more mana. In-and-of-itself, that’s not terribly exciting. Yes, Blue’s a better color for filling your hand than Green, but it’s not like people would flock to a White Wild Mongrel that cost W2 instead of G1.
What makes Aeon Chronicler exciting, at least in my mind, is the Suspend trigger. Let’s say you suspend Aeon Chronicler for one on turn five. When he comes into play, you cantrip, plus you’ll have five mana up (at the least) to defend him with countermagic. That, my friends, is a lot more exciting than Maro. This is Maro that costs one more, lets you play your lands untapped the following turn, and replaces itself immediately when it comes into play (or the time counter is removed). In the control / control mirror match, you can suspend the Chronicler for a lot longer, and have it act as Phyrexian Arena, except without the loss of life.
If there’s one rare that is currently being valued at bulk that I would recommend people pick up now rather than later, it’s Aeon Chronicler.
Aether Membrane
No offense to Zoltan Boros and Gabor Szikszai, but why did it take two people to draw a trampoline?
Akroma, Angel of Fury
Momentary Blink decks have been on the fringe of breaking out, and adding in a perfect Blink / Morph target to the deck might be enough to push the deck to the serious / competitive tiers.
For those crying foul about the lack of haste on Akroma, Angel of Fury — that’s what morph is for! It worked for Liege of the Pit, right!
Right?
Ana Battlemage
As pointed out on MagicTheGathering.com, the artwork for this card pays homage to Anavolver from Apocalypse. The Battlemage cards from Planeshift were some of the most rules-misunderstood cards by casual players in Magic’s history. The problem was that each of the guys had off-color kicker costs (much like Ana Battlemage), and many casual players intuitively think that if you pay a color of an ability, that ability is that color, So, for instance, they thought that Thornscape Battlemage shouldn’t / couldn’t kill a Protection from Red creature, because the Red kicker dealt two damage (even though the Thornscape Battlemage itself is Green). I look forward to the Black kicker hitting White Knight and causing even more rules arguments in group games!
Aquamorph Entity
It might just be me, but this guy seems redundant with Primal Clay in the set, in the same rarity slot to boot.
Auramancer’s Guise
This card is associated with Rabid Wombat, of all creatures. You can look at Auramancer’s Guise in one of two ways: It’s Serra’s Embrace without flying, or it’s Rabid Wombat without a 0/1 creature. Either way, it’s strange to see a card that encourages mass-enchantment go to Blue (rather than White or Green), but it’s not like this is going to break Constructed in half, either.
Aven Riftwatcher
Isn’t it a shame that there’s such an inefficient Rebel search engine this time around? This guy would have been a house in a world of Ramosian Sergeant, Ramosian Lieutenant, and Defiant Falcon. The rebel chain is a lot less impressive this time around. Popping out a guy for free that swings for four, gains you four, and / or takes a hit is a lot less exciting than paying for Cloud Elemental that exchanges a long lifespan for Staunch Defending.
Battering Sliver
Horned Sliver: G2, 2/2. All Slivers have trample.
Battering Sliver: R5, 4/4. All Slivers have trample.
Between Planar Chaos and Tempest, +2/+2 on a creature has apparently become worth 3 mana. You know, like this gem:
Battering Fanatic: R3, 3/3. Sacrifice Battering Fanatic to deal 1 damage to target creature or player.
Battering Slayer. BB3, 4/4. Shadow. Battering Slayer must attack each turn if able.
Battering and Claw. Enchantment, R6. Sacrifice two creatures: Put a 5/3 Red Carnivore creature token into play.
Come to think of it, Battering Fanatic and Battering Slayer aren’t off the curve for modern day Magic…
Benalish Commander
If you could pay WWinfinity and never have this guy come into play, I think that’d usually be preferable to having him hit as a 4/4 creature, and then die to Pyroclasm / Wrath of God / board-sweeper du jour. Plus, he’s Benalish. Where’s the banding love, eh?
Big Game Hunter
The mirror image of Intrepid Hero. Rejected from the set was Little Game Hunter, which destroyed itself as it came into play, since it was also 1/1.
Blightspeaker
If you’re going to have just three Rebel search cards in the new block, make sure that one of them is Black so that it makes it that much harder to play the neutered version of a now-nonexistent deck archetype.
I would like to note that I like the synergy between the “Tap: Lose a Life” and “4, Search your Library.” It gives Blightspeaker a use for when you have your mana tied up, unlike a lot of the Ramosian cards from Mercadian Masques, which just sat there as 1/1 and 1/2 dorks unless you had full mana available.
Blood Knight
The eternal question will be: Is this a Planeshifted Black Knight, or a Planeshifted White Knight, or a Planeshifted Silver Knight? The world will never know!
Body Double
When Body Double came into play, the man on second scored. Dimir Doppelganger was thrown out trying to reach third.
Bog Serpent
I’ve said it before, but the stupidest “Xhome” creature ever was Gorilla Pack. Bog Serpent is just like Sea Serpent, right down to its name. This makes it every bit as uninteresting as Sea Serpent.
Boom / Bust
As if Flagstones of Trokair needed a reason to be expensive, Wizards goes ahead and prints a two-mana Stone Rain for Boros decks everywhere. And if that’s not enough, let’s just Armageddon further down the road! Before you get all those Sneeches in your Breeches, just remember that other six-mana Armageddon spells that aren’t named Wildfire have met with a failure, including Razia’s Purification, Catastrophe, and Thoughts of Ruin.
Except, of course, Thoughts of Ruin cost four, not six.
Gallant lets her opponent play with extra permanents.
Goofus destroys permanents and tells her opponent to go home.
Gallant would never use a pipe for anything other than ventilation and heating.
Goofus is on a first-name basis with Kate Moss and Whitney Houston.
Gallant holds doors for old ladies.
Goofus holds doors for old ladies.. until they are halfway through. Then, it’s time to play “bend the biddy.”
Gallant was at the party, but not that you’d have noticed.
You took Goofus home for the night, but man, hope your health insurance is paid up! Better change your address and phone number the next morning, too. But you can tell yourself it was worth it.
Brain Gorgers
In general, the flavor text on this set was either a home run or a complete miss. This one was a complete miss. Come on — “Slow eaters?” BRAINS! BRRRRRRAIIIIIINS! BRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSS!
Brute Force
Back in the day, we used to walk three miles through the woods to get to this spell. And when we got to grandma’s house, she was eaten by a wolf, dagnabbit! You kids, get off my lawn or Imma gonna call the cops.
Calciderm
Ooziderm FTW.
Cautery Sliver
Okay, hold on. Horned Sliver costs three more in this set, but Goblin Legionnaires costs the same, and sacrifices one damage / damage prevention for a colorless activation? Whozzy wuzzis? Wasn’t the last set filled with Sliver homages to older creatures that were exact? You know, Avenging Angel is a 3/3, Juzam Djinn is a 5/5 and all that rot? Make up your mind, peoples!
Chronozoa
This really, really, really needed to be creature type — Amoeba. This is also a really cool concept for a card, and props to the designers for coming up with an ever-splitting set of mitochondria.
Circle of Affliction
Sounds too much like a hazing ritual. Next!
Citanul Woodreaders
Where I come from, we read books. Books are made of paper. Paper is made of trees. Trees are made of wood. Therefore, these guys are no more special than me. The only difference is that I’m 1/3 at best, but I’m not round enough to have that four-ass yet.
Cradle to Grave
According to IMDB.com, the plot of this card is as follows:
When his daughter is kidnapped and held in exchange for priceless diamonds, the leader of a crew of highly skilled urban thieves (DMX) forges an unlikely alliance with a Taiwanese Intelligence officer (Jet Li) to rescue her. Their race against the clock to find the precious stones ultimately unravels a plot to distribute a deadly new weapon of war.
Crovax, Ascendant Hero
Another well-designed card. Crovax combines his old Ascendant Evincar powers with the powers of his personal family angel, Selenia. From flavor text to abilities to cost to artwork, a smash hit. Yeah, it’s playable too. Wheeeeeee! Gonads and strife.
Damnation
Thank you to Mark Rosewater, for these $20 bills from Heaven. I’m eating steak tonight!
Darkheart Sliver
Dark Heart of the Woods cost GB, and let you sacrifice Forests to gain three life. Darkheart Sliver costs GB and allows you to sacrifice Slivers to gain three life. This is still better than Victual Sliver, which added one life, but also two mana to the activation.
Dash Hopes
This card happened to me every time I attended a Pro Tour.
Dawn Charm
In my last set review, I took a look at all of the previous charms, and rated them on a scale of zero to three. Dawn Charm would get a 2.5 — two abilities are useful (Fog and Gilded Light lite) and the regenerate can come in handy if you’ve got creatures laying around.
Dead / Gone
Originally this card was going to be slotted for “Jitte / Clamp”, but Wizards decided last minute to cut artifacts from the set entirely.
Deadly Grub
I’ll go for the obvious Taco Bell joke here. Yo quiero Kormus Bell!
Deadwood Treefolk
Here’s what Julian Nuijten had to say about Exhumer Thrull in his StarCityGames.com Guildpact set review:
It’s a bit better in Sealed Deck than it is in Draft because of the difference in speed of the formats, but I still like it a lot in Draft simply because it’s pure card advantage. It’s not too high of a pick though, as you’ll often have to board it out (or not maindeck it at all) against aggressive decks.
Mike Flores added this in his set review:
I don’t see myself playing this in Constructed. For the same mana, I can smash for five and reanimate one of your guys. Maybe in Block? Probably not, still. Constructed Unplayable.
Ha ha Mike Flores! Wizards took away the Ravnica Block Constructed season just to prove you wrong!
Are you listening, Bennie Smith?
Detritivore
It’s all fun and games until Detritivore starts destroying your own nonbasic lands. Then someone loses and eye. Former Virginia state champion Popeye the Sailor used to play with Detritivore.
Dichotomancy
This card was incorrectly spoiled on MTGSalvation.com prior to the Planar Chaos prerelease. According to their pre-prerelease spoiler, Dichotomancy copied all nonland permanents on your opponent’s side of the table. The real version only copies tapped nonland permanents. Why, was it too powerful? Why not restrict it to all tapped, nonland permanents that begin with the letters Qx? Then the magical land of consonants can throw a giant hashish party to welcome their new unpronounceable overlords to the land.
Dismal Failure
On a scale of one to frustrating, this card is going to score a ten.
If you’re a Blue mage, that’s a good thing.
Dormant Sliver
This is like Jungle Barrier, except it’s not. Jungle Barrier had six-butt. This guy is Striped Bears with defender. Seriously, what’d they do to Slivers this time around? Have Slivers jumped the shark?
Come to think of it, that probably happened at Legions.
Dreamscape Artist
Harrow, but repeatable, in Blue, and at the cost of -1 card (the Artist itself) as an investment. I approve of the flavor text; “He’s mastered the art of sleight of land.”
Dunerider Outlaw
In last week’s column, I compared Dunerider Outlaw to Slith Bloodletter, to make the example that Black has gotten a 1/1 creature in the two-slot that grows when it deals combat damage. People then wrote to me (publicly and privately) to let me know that Dunerider Outlaw is a Timeshift of Whirling Dervish, which was never my point to begin with. I’m here to let you know that Dunerider Outlaw is not actually a shift of Whirling Dervish, but of Restless Dead from Mirage.
Dust Corona
My my my my my whoooo!
Dust Elemental
Isn’t it odd to give Fear to a White creature? Mark Rosewater or Aaron Forsythe (one of the two) mentioned that Fear would have been better if it was keyworded to work with any color, and not just Black. I agree. It’s odd that Dust Elemental cannot block other Dust Elementals.
Enslave
In which the lawsuit of the ACLU versus Wizards of the Coast took place. I’m not touching this one with a ten-foot pole. Next!
Erratic Mutation
I love the artwork on this card. I also love that Blue gets the Flowstone effect in this set, as +X/-X seems a lot more Blue (uncontrolled mutations, flesh shaping, etc) than the —X/-0 Shrink effect that’s been foisted on the color recently.
Essence Warden
Now all we need is for Saffi Eriksdotter to cost GG or GB, and Project X will be greenlit!
Evolution Charm
This card is banned in Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Mississippi, and Oklahoma.
Extirpate
Not as good as people think it is. Also not as bad as people think it is. Meet the new Pithing Needle, philosophically speaking. Whether you think it changes entire metagames, or is an overpriced piece of trash, let’s all agree that the artwork is completely killer.
Fa’adiyah Seer
Let me note that this is a great Dredge enabler, since you can Dredge and then not discard a card. Fa’adiyah Seer is also in the right color for dredging, unlike Sindbad, who is no longer psychic.
Fatal Frenzy
Oh Fatal Frenzy! Oh Berserk! Let me count the ways.
Berserk costs one mana. Fatal Frenzy costs three.
Berserk can target an opponent’s creature. Fatal Frenzy can only target your own creature.
Berserk only destroys a creature if it attacked. Fatal Frenzy destroys a creature, period.
Fatal Frenzy can be played at any time. Berserk can only be played during combat, before damage.
Berserk is Green. Fatal Frenzy is Red.
Berserk was drawn by Dan Frazier. Fatal Frenzy was drawn by Steve Ellis
The guy on Berserk looks rabid. The guy on Fatal Frenzy looks like he’s roid Raging.
Berserk sounds like Berzerk, which was from the 80’s. Fatal Frenzy sounds like Fatal Fury, which was from the 90’s.
Firefright Mage
Another card where the flavor text is quite awesome. “After a millennia of advancement in goblin military theory, Toggo VI realized that almost everyone is afraid of fire.” Unfortunately, the actual mage infusing the goblins in the artwork with fire looks nothing like a Goblin. He looks more like a human, or maybe like my Uncle Jimmy. And if I know one thing, it’s that my Uncle Jimmy isn’t a goblin.
Frenetic Sliver
Frenetic Efreet: Flying. Frenetic Sliver: Not Flying. Any questions?
Frozen Aether
Not to pick on anyone, but in the forums of Peter Jahn Green article from this week, the following was said:
Titanium Dragon: “Groundbreaker is far better than the blue Kismet; Kismet is not likely to see play, as there’s nothing near as good as Stasis or Winter Orb around to support it.”
Fungal Behemoth
My favorite part about Fungal Behemoth is that you can put Spore counters on it with Sporesower Thallid, and then have those counters do nothing.
Gaea’s Anthem
Allow America’s best Canadian Rock Act of the 70’s to take this one:
There is unrest in the forest,
There is trouble with the trees,
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas.
The trouble with the maples,
(And they’re quite convinced they’re right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light.
But the oaks can’t help their feelings
If they like the way they’re made.
And they wonder why the maples
Can’t be happy in their shade.
There is trouble in the forest,
And the creatures all have fled,
As the maples scream “Oppression!”
And the oaks just shake their heads
So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights.
“The oaks are just too greedy;
We will make them give us light.”
Now there’s no more oak oppression,
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.
Ghost Tactician
Because every color needs a five-mana Chorus of Woe spellshaper.
Giant Dustwasp
Green finally gets that staple of Limited, the Faerie Squadron. Except nowadays, they make it 4/4 and call it Errant Ephemeron.
Gossamer Phantasm
They exist only so long as the living take no notice. In the Cateran Guild, being caught is a capital offense. The Cyclops shrugged off savage blows, but casual insults made him weep.
Groundbreaker
“The earth’s memory is long, its retribution brief.”
I know what else is long and brief. But this is a family site, so I won’t mention that it’s my sex life.
Hammerheim Deadeye
Was Hill Giant so overpowered that to give him Wing Snare, they needed to give him an upkeep of six? I say thee nay!
Harmonize
Little known fact: The first Green spell that drew three cards for four mana was not Harmonize, but was in fact Innervate, because as everyone knows, all druids are Green. This also helps prove that all crows are Black.
Healing Leaves
When Wizards was originally planning on shifting the Boon cycle, here’s how it went:
Giant Growth —) To Red
Healing Salve —) To Green
Dark Ritual —) To Red
Lightning Bolt —) To Blue
Ancestral Recall —) To Blue
Then they decided to hold off printing the other three until Future Sight.
Hedge Troll
This guy will have a home in Constructed W/G beatdown and mid-range control decks. What, so I went 50 or so cards between saying anything even remotely strategy related — you wanna make something of it?
Heroes Remembered
Ten points to the first person that can tell me what the heck is going on in the artwork of this card.
Hunting Wilds
Another card that will see play, because it can fetch double-Ravnica land. Explosive Vegetation saw play in Block, and this might see play in Block as well.
Imp’s Mischief
“Do the innocent pay for the crimes of the guilty? Of course they do. That’s the fate of the weak.” — Nicol Bolas. Good flavor text, and a very, very underrated sideboard (one maindeck?) card. I’d pay two life to move Volcanic Hammer around. This is probably the most playable Misdirection since Misdirection, especially since it’s off-color.
Intet, the Dreamer
You know, I just have to wonder if it’s nostalgia talking, but the names of the “New” Invasion dragons just seem relatively uninspired compared to the “Old” Invasion dragons. Compare:
Rith, the Awakener (makes tokens)
Crosis, the Purger (forces mass discard)
Dromar, the Banisher (Unsummon everything)
Darigaaz, the Igniter (mini-Sudden Impact)
Treva, the Renewer (lifegain)
The surnames for these five seemed directly tied to what they did. This time around, what do we get?
Intet, the Dreamer (Mind’s Desire)
Numot, the Devastator (Rain of Salt)
Oros, the Avenger (Sunlance)
Teneb, the Harvester (Zombify)
Vorosh, the Hunter (Suck hard)
Of these, Numot and Intet are the only ones that I would say is appropriately named. The other guys are just too vague. Don’t avengers, well, avenge? Not Wrath of God? Shouldn’t Harvesting be the domain of Green? I mean seriously, let’s have a go at renaming the other three dragons.
Oros, the Purifier
Teneb, the Reaper
Vorosh, the Juganator
Much better.
Jedit Ojanen of Efrava
This card is banned from our forums. Other people can talk about it, though.
Oh, and this is decent in the way that Silvos and Kamahl were decent — in the mirror match, you’re going to swing for five, then seven, then game.
Jodah’s Avenger
Even though, strictly speaking, Primal Plasma is the only shift from artifact to a color, Jodah’s Avenger is clearly a homage to Urza’s Avenger. Frankly, Double Strike Vigilance, Shadow and Protection from Red are better than First Strike, Flying, Banding and Trample, as a suite of abilities. Urza’s Avenger could do four damage at most on the attack. Jodah’s Avenger can do six, has a better evasion ability, can protect itself, and can play both offense and defense on the same turn.
Kavu Predator
The second that Planar Chaos becomes legal on Magic Online, I am totally building the Kavu Predator / Fiery Justice deck for my Building on a Budget column. You heard it here first — hot rumors from MagictheGathering.com land!
Keen Sense
Speaking of MagicTheGathering.com, Matt Cavotta wrote a great article about the story behind the switch in ancestral curse between Mirri and Crovax. He says it all best, so go read his article, even if “Taste the Magic” isn’t usually your cup of tea.
Keldon Marauders
If the Fires of Yavimaya deck ever picks back up in Extended, these guys are good for eight damage for two mana. Otherwise, they’re good for five damage, or two damage and a chump block. If it dealt damage to creatures instead of players, it’d be better. If it dealt damage either a player or a creature, it’d be best.
Kor Dirge
(Craig, can you fill in something here? You know, before the article goes live? I really have nothing to say about Kor Dirge, and the readers expect witty Bleiweissian banter for every freaking card in the set, no matter how boring they might be. Maybe I’ll just give this one star, like Ted. Nah, I don’t want to copy his ideas. Oh well, not my problem anymore. That’s what editors are for!) [Okay, Ben. How about a tapdance? *tap tappety tap* – Craig.]
Lavacore Elemental
One interesting note is that Lavacore Elemental can give itself counters, so if you have a way to give it haste (Fires, Lightning Greaves, Need for Speed), he can perpetually keep himself in play. Well, for at least four turns.
Life and Limb
Oooh, I got a great idea! Let’s print a card that, if you’re playing Saprolings, turns your Scatter the Seeds into a spell which reads “GG3, Convoke: Put 3 Llanowar Elves in play,” but with the drawback that, if you play this spell, you scoop to Damnation, Pyroclasm, and Wrath of God. Good thing that nobody plays Damnation, Pyroclasm, or Wrath of God.
That takes us halfway through my set review. Tune in next week for the second and final part of Ben’s Totally Complete Guide to Planar Chaos!
…
Ben’s Corner
The people have spoken, and they want Ben’s Corner! This is where I put the site news about StarCityGames.com that you might not otherwise get — new products, upcoming products, and site news. In this week’s Ben’s Corner, we have a ton of new Sleeves, Binders, and Foils available, so let’s get right down to it:
Ultra Pro Akroma, Angel of Wrath 9-Pocket Binder
Ultra Pro Akroma, Angel of Fury 9-Pocket Binder
Ultra Pro Radha, Heir to Keld 9-Pocket Binder
Ultra Pro Intet / Oros 9-Pocket Binder
Ultra Pro Akroma, Angel of Wrath 4-Pocket Binder
Ultra Pro Akroma, Angel of Wrath Sleeves (80 ct.)
Also, we are restocked on Ultra Pro Official Magic Sleeves. Last week, we got in 80 packs of sleeves. They were sold out within a couple of hours. We have considerably more this time around, but they are selling stupidly fast, and I would recommend picking yours up sooner than later, if you have been waiting for these.
Also of note: We’ve added Planar Chaos foils to the site. Tomorrow afternoon, I will be adding in hundreds of higher-end Standard and Extended foils that we’ve acquired through our buylist over the past month, including three full playsets of all 10 Ravnica-block Duals, 10+ Foil Loxodon Hierarchs, two playsets of Dark Confidants, and much, much more. Click on the “Notify me when this item is back on stock” buttons for any Standard / Extended foils that you’re looking for that we’re out of, because it’s first come, first served tomorrow afternoon!
Ben