When last we left out intrepid hero, he was espousing various inexpensive decks as choices for Regionals. Sorry, “National Qualifiers.” What exactly was the impetus behind changing the name of this tournament? Is it now NOT based on a “region” of the country? I guess now each state has a Nationals Qualifier, but they couldn’t very well call it “States” and remind us of how they had taken that away from us.
Saturday morning I got up and put on my sweet new Orange Crush t-shirt. I was heading up to Denver with 75 servings of Frank’s Red Hot and the desire to crush people’s hopes and dreams! A quick reminder of where we left off last week:
Creatures (24)
Lands (22)
Spells (14)
Rare Cost Summary:
Blitz Hellion($0.59 x 4 = $2.36)
Hell’s Thunder ($5.99 x 4 = $23.96)
Ball Lightning ($4.99 x 4 = $19.96)
Raging Ravine ($4.99 x 4 = $19.96)
Rootbound Crag ($5.99 x 4 = $23.96)
This is the deck, as listed in last week’s article, and it’s exactly the deck I played at Nats Q. After going brain-dead around round 7 at the last PTQ playing the RWU Planeswalker deck, I wanted something that would provide me raw bashing power without making me do cranial jumping-jacks to determine “optimal” plays. I’m pretty sure I can figure out the “optimal” play with this deck: make a guy before combat, then SWING! Everything in the deck has haste, which means that even as you burn through what’s in your hand at an alarming rate, all your topdecks are still live and will likely be crashing into your opponent before they can muster an Oblivion Ring or a Day of Judgment or a Maelstrom Pulse.
Blitz Hellion is, by far, the superstar of the deck. Ball Lightning is a good hasty trampler, but can be handled by Lightning Bolt or other things that come at instant speed. Blitz Hellion is pretty much only handled by Terminate or Path to Exile, and is going to do a LOT of damage before being shuffled back in to return again some day. I got in the habit of petting my Blitz Hellions as I shuffled them back in, whispering “I’ll see you soon!” It’s especially fun when you have a second one already in hand.
Sideboard:
3 Vithian Renegade
3 Unstable Footing
3 Goblin Ruinblaster
2 Earthquake
2 Mark of Mutiny
2 Runeflare Trap
Rare Cost Summary:
Earthquake ($2.49 x 2 = $4.98)
Vithian Renegade is for anything running the equipment package – Basilisk Collar and Behemoth Sledge are both really bad times. I don’t think you side them in against Time Sieve, though, simply because they don’t have haste, and the way to beat Time Sieve is to race them down. Unstable Footing is a “best guess” against Kor Firewalker; all the cool kids are doing it, so I went with it rather than trying to find a Green card that could handle him. Which is good, since I still haven’t found anything better than Turntimber Basilisk. Ruinblaster is for anything with more than 2 colors, and I was siding it in against UW Control as well, just to try and keep them off their manlands or double-white where I could. Earthquake is for Vampires and for Jund, where you can clear out a bunch of things with 1 or 2 toughness, then drop a hasty guy to take advantage of the opening. Mark of Mutiny was a lark; I wanted something to help against that desperation turn-5 Baneslayer, and I also thought it would be a ton of fun to watch Mythic Conscription tap out for Sovereigns, attack and Conscript, and then get Mutinied back in their face. (A good player would sacrifice the Conscription to Annihilator, but … I wonder how often it’s come up?) Runeflare Trap was a “better burn” spell against anyone playing Jace, the Mind Sculptor.
I met the Eminent Brew team (fan them on Facebook, now, before they break the format and all the cool cats are doing it) up at The Egg and I for breakfast. Former Colorado State Champion Jeremy Burt picked the location; he had eaten there prior to winning his State Championship, and hoped that the old place still had some mojo left in it for his glorious return to competitive Magic. (He finished 6-2 and in 13th; so maybe SOME of the mojo was still there.) (Note: Do not confuse this place with The Chicken or The Egg on Long Beach Island, home of the best wings on the planet. I did, and was really wanting wings for breakfast.) And, after a good helping of sausage gravy and biscuits and enough parenthetical comments to choke a horse, we made our way up to Denver.
I bought orange sleeves to match the Orange Crush shirt.
I informed my former Two-Headed Giant partner, Emily, that she would be proud of me for playing something so bashy.
They announce the attendance. 129! So we get eight rounds, but it’s likely that a 6-2 or two with extraordinary tiebreakers will make the top cut.
Round 1 versus Chris playing UW Control
… or so I thought. I play a first-turn Goblin Guide which takes chunks out of his life total before Hell’s Thunder arrives and knocks him to 5; he plays a Jace but it can’t find him any answers, and I burn him out. In game 2, I find out that he’s playing a weird version of the RWU Planeswalker deck, as he finally sees Red mana to Earthquake away two Rip-Clan Crashers on turn 3. Hell’s Thunder drops him to 8, but I can’t find a fourth land to cast anything in my hand. Ajani Vengeant shows up to lock down my only source of Red mana, but Chris can’t find a fifth land, so we sit and stare at each other, drawing nothing useful on either end, until Ajani blows up my world and sticks around for the afterparty. I pull a couple more lands after that, and Chris finally finds two Baneslayer Angels to do the job. My notes say we went 12 turns each drawing and discarding. Game 3, I curve out nicely in the opening moments: Lightning Bolt, Goblin Guide, Ball Lightning to put him at 7 on his turn 3. Then I sputter out, stuck on three lands with Bloodbraid and Hellion in hand, and his curve takes over: Ajani, Elspeth, Baneslayer. I did get both Runeflare Traps in this third game, and Chris managed to trigger them by casting Wall of Omens and Spreading Seas in the same turn, but doing 10 damage for RR I guess only looks good on paper. 0-1
Round 2 versus Sean playing Bazaar Trader
This is Sean’s first competitive Constructed event. He is playing a wacky deck that involves taking control of things permanently via Bazaar Trader. Unfortunately for him, I’ve seen this deck at Friday Night Magic and I know to blast away at Bazaar Traders when I see them. The matchup gets harder for Sean when he’s awarded a game loss for his deck registration. I keep a hand heavy with removal and “big” creatures, and drop him with a succession of Ball Lightning, Hell’s Thunder, and Blitz Hellion. 1-1
Round 3 versus Nick playing Jund
In game 1, I do absolutely nothing of note to Nick, mostly pointing 2-point direct damage spells at his Putrid Leech, which chips away at his life total two at a time. Game 2, he sets up a defense of Tuktuk the Explorer and I think, how the heck am I supposed to bash through that? He keeps attacking with it, though, and I keep letting it through because I’m sure a 1/1 is easier to deal with than a 5/5. I take advantage of his Tuktuk aggression by rolling in with Hell’s Thunders and Ball Lightnings when he attacks, but eventually he smartens up at 5 life and holds back Tuktuk and a Vampire Hexmage. Unfortunately, that’s not enough to prevent a Blitz Hellion from killing him with trample damage. In game 3, Nick mulligans to 4 (!) and feels he is forced to keep a no-lander at 4. I get the stupid curve: turn 1 Goblin Guide (which never draws him a land), turn 2 Rip-Clan Crasher, turn 3 Ball Lightning. Hello, you’re at 4, and I have a Bloodbraid Elf coming next turn. At least it was over quick. 2-1
Round 4 versus Frank playing RWU Planeswalkers
Frank, in this case, is Deckbuilding Legend Frank Bowker, for whom “Frank’s Red Hot” is named. Whoops. In game 1, I get him down to 6 very quickly – Goblin Guide followed by a pair of Hell’s Thunders. I just don’t have the finishing power, as Ajani Vengeant pulls him out of burn range long enough for a Colonnade and Gideon to put the thumbscrews to me. Game 2, Kor Firewalker comes down early and makes most of my cards less impactuous, and I never find a trampler or an Unstable Footing to really crack through any good damage. 2-2
Two losses in four rounds means I’m likely not making the Top 8, but I’m still playing for prize at this point. And I still have the Orange Crush shirt on. Time to crush some dreams and send some people drafting.
Round 5 versus Sean playing Wrapter Jund
My early burn and Goblin Guide don’t get there against multiple Blightnings in game 1. In game 2, I start out with Lightning Bolt into Rip-Clan Crasher, and after he takes a couple points of pain from a couple of fetchlands, I cascade Bloodbraid Elf into a Ball Lightning and clobber him down to 4. Blitz Hellion mops up after that. In game 3, I don’t have a fast draw, but I do have two Blitz Hellions. Staggershock pulls him down into double-Hellion range, and I pet the first one after I knock him to 8 with it. “I’ll see you soon …” and then untap, draw, and play the second one. It’s a good time! 3-2
Round 6 versus Josh playing Mythic
I can’t honestly tell you if this was the Conscription version or the regular version. In game 1, I burn out every Hierarch and Cobra I see while continuing to drop hasty guys. At seven, he casts a desperation Lotus Cobra just to try and block something, but I cascade Bloodbraid Elf into a piece of removal and swing in for exactly the right amount of damage. Josh mulligans to 5 in game 2 and never sees a second land, and I take advantage and drop him before he can find a third mana source. 4-2
Round 7 versus Sam playing Jund
Game 1 sees me start out with two Goblin Guides, which do 10 damage over the course of the game. Sam double-Blightnings me, but I have burn and get him to 1 with no cards left in hand. I’m at 3, though, so it’s going to come down to squeaking in that last point of damage this turn. Sam tells me to windmill it: STAGGERSHOCK. In game 2, I go Goblin Guide into Bolt into Bloodbraid – unfortunately Sam goes double-Blightning into Bloodbraid, and I’m again stuck with him at low life (2) with no cards and at a dangerous life level myself (8). Sam tells me to windmill it: BURST LIGHTNING. To be fair, he told me to windmill them. 5-2
Round 8 versus Eric playing Grixis
What is with people and double-Blightning against me? Eric did the same thing, but I was only able to get him to 9 by that time. Didn’t help that I had mulled to six and kept drawing land. In game 2, I again mull to 6, keeping two lands and four spells. Unfortunately, those are the only land I see: I draw another 11 spells, 0 lands. It didn’t help that Eric was using Jace’s Fateseal to keep me off the two lands that WERE in those top cards. 5-3
Final Thoughts
I would definitely play this deck in a tournament tomorrow. The focus is still largely on sorcery-speed removal and planeswalkers, and I think the deck matches up well against that. The one place I’d likely make changes would be the manabase – I think 4 Forests is too many (as I got stuck with no Red Round 1 against Chris, and without RRR for Ball Lightning at least once), and I’m not overly crazy about Raging Ravine either – most of the time he just came down tapped and interrupted my curve, and I think I attacked with him once over the course of the entire tournament. I’ll be pushing forward with this deck as the PTQ season continues, and I’m likely going to play it at the next Denver PTQ in mid-June. If you’re looking for an all-out aggro deck that can put an opponent in burn range before they can play a third land, I recommend giving Frank’s Red Hot a try.
Until next week…
Dave
dave dot massive at gmail and davemassive at twitter and facebook