The Combat Phase – Evolution

The beast is starting to squirm in bed, kicking side to side, and readjusting himself endlessly. This means, “I’m restless, I need to pee, I want you to get up, and why are you not petting me? Has everyone forgotten the dog? Have you seen how cute I am?”

It’s eight thirty, and I’d like a little more sleep, but I have things to do. I get up and make some coffee and let the Dog of Thunder out onto the terrace. I need to sleeve up the
Vitalidad
(Vigor) and other cards I bought yesterday, set up my sideboard, shower, clean the terrace, pack away all my Magic cards that are strewn all over the living room, and make my way to Evolution, the store I’m playing Magic at today. By the time I get everything done, I’m about five minutes late. I hastily hug and kiss the Beautiful Wendy goodbye, she wishes me luck, I tell her to have a good ladies brunch, which like everything in Spain starts much later than in the States. Brunch starts at 2:00 today.

I show up at 10:25 for a tournament that’s supposed to start at 10:30, and it’s me and two other guys. I thought Legacy was the most popular format here, right now? I sign up and look over the cards in the case. Wow, foil Natural Order is going for forty Euros which is about fifty dollars. David and Ferrero are behind the counter as usual. David tells me the tournament will start in about twenty minutes he thinks. Another guy comes in. Now we are four.

I wander around the small space and find a fantastic bust of Eddard Stark with a wolf on his shield and a base of snow. They have four racks of shirts. Strategy games like Beowulf, Runewars, World of Warcraft, Giants, Settlers of Catan, etc. There are two rows of tables with tight seating for 32. The Evolution tables are made for Magic with printed squares in two rows, 20-0 imbedded in the table. You could put a bead there and keep track of your life total. Having seen everything I can see in the store (it’s not large), I sit down to read some more of
A Storm of Swords.
Five pages in, I think, “I should be writing this down,” pull out my computer, and start to write this.

A few minutes later a couple more guys straggle in. Now we are six. Okay, six is alright I guess. A few more straggle in, then more, and we start with fourteen. My computer clock tells me it isn’t as late as I thought.

Today I am with Secret Force 2010.

Pairings are posted, and Juan Tavira Manjon is my first opponent. He’s tall for Spaniard, and we shake hands and shuffle up. David comes over and informs him I don’t speak much Spanish. Luckily, Juan speaks English slightly better than I speak Spanish.

I keep a hand of Wasteland, three Forests, Wall of Roots, and Noble Hierarch.

He just keeps playing Mountains and an Elkin Bottle. I draw Forests and another Wall of Roots. He unloads on me when I have five lands on the board and four in hand.

Despite losing the first game, I’m confident this deck is almost a bye for me.

I side in four Umezawa’s Jittes. I side out two Acidic Slimes and two Viridian Zealots.

I start with a hand of Verdant Force, two Wall of Roots, two Jittes, a Noble Hierarch, and a Forest. If the Hierarch survives one turn, I’m off and running. I play her and say a silent prayer. He lets her live. I draw a Forest, and I’m off to the races. He kills everything I play, plays Elkin Bottle. I finally get a creature through and get two counters on the Jitte. Ha ha! Now we’ll see! One more land, and I can cast the Titan I’ve drawn. Bolt you, Bolt you, untap, Flames of the Blood Hand, Bolt you…

“I’ll remove two counters off the Jitte.”

It’s been a long time since I’ve read Flames of the Blood Hand.

“Fireblast you.”

Round 2 is against Javier.

Javier is playing something I’ve never seen. Dark Confidant, Counterbalance, Lim Dul’s Vault, Thopter Foundry, Sword of the Meek. I’m thinking combo. I get too fast a draw; he doesn’t get enough counters, and an Acidic Slime kills his Thopter Foundry. He has a couple blockers, and I have a Gaea’s Cradle, two Acidic Slimes, and two Spike Feeders. When he blocks, I just move counters over to the unblocked Slime and kill him.

I side in three Umezawa’s Jittes and side out an Overrun, a Verdant Force, and an Elf.

I have to mulligan to six, but he keeps. He plays an Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth, then an Island and Lim Dul’s Vault, looks three times, and then… stops playing land! I Wasteland the Urborg and then Acidic Slime the next land he plays. I don’t have much momentum, but you don’t need much here. I have two Natural Orders and creatures to use it on, but he’s got two Islands. “Overrun?” Countered, so I swing. “Acidic Slime?” Countered, so I swing. “Overrun?” Force of Will, so I swing. He dies to my creatures the next turn.

Round 3 is against Jesus Ruben Galvan. I hope I’m getting these names right. Spaniards usually have two last names, and the pairings put first name, last name, last name. I don’t know if I’m putting these in the right order, but I think so.

The two last names thing causes no end of troubles for Wendy. Some web pages she needs to sign into require you to put in two last names and won’t continue if you don’t. So, Wendy Harrison White uses her middle name as her second last name. Then she’ll get phone calls, “Hola, Señora Harrison?” or she reserves a plane for us, and the ticket counter doesn’t have a reservation for any “White,” but they have one for “Harrison.”

Jesus is a nightmare matchup for me. He’s playing super-fast, flying Merfolk who quickly reduce me to zero at mach seven. Anything I cast that could turn the tide is countered. I side in two Summoning Traps, a Tornado Elemental, and a Cloudthresher.

I have to mulligan to six and keep a hand of Gaea’s Cradle, Wasteland, Natural Order, and weenies. I get a Forest, and I think I’m in like Flynn, but without one, I’m doomed. On my third turn I get a Forest. Play Forest for Wall of Roots, remove a counter, cast Llanowar Elf, tap Gaea’s Cradle for two mana, Wall of Roots, remove a counter, Noble Hierarch, holding one card — Natural Order.

He’s already beating me up pretty bad, but if I can go get a Tornado Elemental that will end. He attacks again with his fliers, I untap, “Natural Order?”

He rocks back in his seat as if punched. He looks through his hand, and his eyes brighten. He casts Into the Roil on the Wall of Roots I’ve targeted.

I don’t think that works…

He insists it does.

He doesn’t speak any English, and David and Ferrero aren’t much better. Based on the fact that timing rules have changed in the years I took off, I’m unsure. I’m pretty sure the sacrifice happens as you cast the spell; you can’t respond to it. Having been to the Pro Tour, I also know what happens when a native speaker calls over a judge and explains things, and his opponent doesn’t speak the language to make his case. I let it go.

He kills me two turns later as I draw a land and another Wall of Roots.

Considering he only has basic Islands in his deck, I’m regretting my choice of Summoning Trap over Choke. On the other hand, with every blue deck I’ve faced having Into the Roil, Choke seems ineffective as well.

My last opponent of this tournament is Jesue Segadoro. He has the look I’ve always wanted — dark hair, moderately dark skin, full beard but with the sides trimmed, so it looks like a goatee with a few days growth on the sides, wearing a stylish leather jacket. I expect him to be aloof and quiet, but he’s just the opposite. We have friendly, chatty, nice, casual games.

He’s playing the deck I was tempted to play today but need to work on a bit more.

Game 1 he plays fetchland into a Swamp, Duress, Swamp, Hymn, Nyxathid 7/7 monstrosity for three mana! (Magic Online shows these selling for twenty-five cents. I pick up four immediately.) I have a lot of land, a couple of Noble Hierarchs and keep drawing more land. He plays a Jitte. I have enough land that I can play almost anything in my deck, but I keep getting land, and it’s over.

I side in three Jittes of my own.

In the second game, I have a perfect draw. My heart is
literally pounding out of my chest.

Which, of course, is ludicrous, because if it were, paramedics would be called, people would be filming it, there would be spectators screaming, and I would be dying. This sentence was uttered on a TV show we watch, and Wendy and I are grammar police. “Literally” means — in reality, this is happening. It might
feel
like it’s literally pounding out of your chest, but it’s not. And now you know. This message brought to you in defense of the English language.

Forest, Elf, pass.

Swamp, Dark Ritual, Hypnotic Specter.

Gah! I miss being able to do that.

Gaea’s Cradle, Wall of Roots, Noble Hierarch.
Please don’t take the Natural Order. Please don’t take the Natural Order. Please don’t take the Natural Order.

Swing with the Hypnotic, pull a Forest.

I cast Natural Order for a Primeval Titan, putting Wasteland and Forest into play.

He plays a Nyxathid which is bigger than my Titan.

I draw a Jitte and play it, attach Jitte to Titan, swing with my Titan putting two Forests into play, since I realize every land he has is fetch or Swamp. Jesue blocks, and I add two counters, then remove one to kill his Elemental. Titan goes to the bin, but I now have enough land to cast anything I want, and an active Jitte. I get a few more weenies out. My Jitte remains active until he plays his own then he plays another Nyxathid. I play an
Overrun that leaves him at one with only the Elemental on the board, me at seven with one Wall of Roots to block with.
Please don’t let him draw elimination.
He doesn’t, and I swarm him for the win.

That was a tight game.

I have another good draw,

if

he doesn’t Hymn me on the second turn. He has to mulligan, plays a Swamp and says go. I play Forest, Noble Hierarch. He draws, looks at his hand, passes the turn.

Um, you forgot to play land, and I’m holding an Acidic Slime.

Cradle, Wall of Roots. Swing for one.

He draws, looks like someone spit in his soup, passes the turn.

Forest, Acidic Slime targeting your one land and kick you in the junk just for good measure.

“Lo siento, mi amigo.”

Him — Draw, count cards, look sad.

Me — Unleash Hell.

He makes a game of it, drawing up to three lands, but I finish the game with an army led by a Verdant Force wielding a Jitte and holding another Natural Order.

So, I finish the morning 2-2 and get a pack of Scars. My rare is a Myr Battlesphere. I like it.

There’s now a two and a half hour break between tournaments, so I head towards McDonald’s to write and call Wendy. As I walk there, a huge crowd has gathered around a band playing in the street. They’re playing opera, and there’s a lady singing as well. Street musicians this talented can make a lot of money from the crowds that gather, but then, they have to split it amongst the cello player, the violinist, the guy on sax, the singer, etc.

It’s a struggle to make it through to McDonald’s. The Opera plaza (yes, they were singing opera in Opera) is completely torn to shreds and walled off for construction, leaving only an eight-foot wide passage for thousands of people to squeeze through. Now add on top of that a crowd gathered for the street opera, the beggars, the delivery trucks, the guys handing out advertising, and you have a jam. I feel like jelly rolled in construction dust by the time I make it to McDonald’s. I order some McNuggets and a beer and settle down to eat, read some
Song of Ice and Fire,
and write. An hour later I head up the street to another plaza, find a seat in the sun, order some coffee, and read some more.

Soon it is four thirty, and I make my way back to Evolution. When I arrive, the store is packed! There are 32 people for this event! David takes my four Euros. I ask him in Spanish, “A lot of people here this afternoon, no?”

He replies with a confused look. “No, not really. Many days we get forty or fifty. We have to put up extra tables in the alley.”

I’m stunned. Normally they get forty or fifty?

My first opponent is Ferrero, one of the guys behind the counter. He is with Jace, Brainstorm, Sensei’s Divining Top, dual lands, Counterbalance, Tarmogoyf, Force of Will, Cunning Wish, Swords to Plowshares.

Our first game is actually pretty close as I just keep casting threats until he’s low on cards then I cast Primeval Titan and suck all the Wastelands out of my deck, but since he has plenty of land, I just use them for mana. But, a 3/1 flier eventually kills me after forty minutes.

I side in two Summoning Traps.

Game 2 is even closer.

Do you know how much blue hates spiky tricks? I get him down to four, and then I know he’s dead next turn. It’s like a very simple Rosewater puzzle from the old days of the Duelist. I want to tell him, “Don’t bother to look with your Top because there’s nothing you can do.” But, I never tell people such things. On my side of the board is a Noble Hierarch, three Llanowar Elves, a Spike Weaver, a Wall of Roots, and five land.

On his side of the board are Jace, Top, land, and a Tarmogoyf.

He’s at four life.

I will attack with three creatures, and he has one blocker. Whoever he blocks, I’ll move the spike tokens over to the unblocked and do four.

I draw a Hierarch and count mana. Yes. Four will get through even if I cast the Hierarch.

I attack, and he casts a flash creature. Now he has another blocker. And I only have five mana. I need six to move all the tokens over to the unblocked Elf.

I’m a donkey. This is the second time today I’ve screwed up when victory, or in this case, a draw, could’ve been mine.

I shouldn’t have cast the Hierarch. Since I did, I should’ve just swung with the Weaver who would be 5/5 thanks to exalted. If he bounces the Weaver on his turn, I move the counters to something else. Or I could have used the Weaver’s ability to Fog and not lose any of my creatures this turn that I’ve just screwed up and hopefully swing next turn.

I only know that with five turns left, I cannot get that last point of damage through, and we end with him at one life, but 1-0 in games.

Ferrero asks me, “No Progenitus?”

As others have suggested, the card reminds me of Sliver Queen. Yes, if you don’t draw it, he’ll probably win you the game. If you do draw it though, I have no way to get him into play. Maybe I’ll just swap out everything else big and just run four Progenitus. Or maybe I’ll find a way to get him into play if I draw him. Or as others have pointed out, add in a couple of Fauna Shaman to get rid of him if I draw him.

The deck will continue to evolve.

The next round is paired, and I play bye guy. I always beat that guy. Like, instantly.

Without anyone to play I take to the streets of Madrid to get a beer from the local shop on the corner and think about my loss. The streets are packed like it’s New Year’s Eve in New York. I’m a stranger in a strange land. I used to live in a town of 12,000 people. Now I live in the city of Madrid where the streets in our historic neighborhood are narrow and almost always crowded with natives and tourists.

Without fail, everyone I’ve played or met today has been nice, kind, even helpful. But Madrileños have such a different outlook on personal space. When walking down the street, it’s not uncommon to just crash shoulders with people and just keep moving. If a bar is full of people, then it must be a good bar, and everyone passing by heads into that bar to join the massive press of people, as if relishing in the lack of space. I prefer the bar next to it that’s nearly empty. Magic players here are the same. In the morning, with only twelve players, pairings would be posted and only rarely would anyone not play in their assigned seat, squeezing twelve people onto one and a half tables rather than find your opponent and move to a separate space with more room. In the middle of my game, one guy came over and leaned so far over my shoulder to look at the game next to me I couldn’t even shuffle or draw without bumping into him.

Beer is drunk for breakfast and at work. I’ve seen a butcher slicing meat with an open beer sitting on the table next to him at eleven in the morning. Most places close from 2-4:30 every day. I play Magic, and everyone around me is speaking a language I only partially understand. They’re kind and patient, and many of the cards are in English (I’d guess over half the cards played today are in English), but there are times when I cannot understand what a card does and just have to trust my opponent that he’s not lying when he does something.

How my life has changed.

I head back to Evolution, crack open my computer on the far corner of the counter, chat with David in my limited Spanish, and write about my match with Ferrero until the battery says 6% remaining, save my document, and close it. Soon, pairings for the next round are posted.

I sit down in my assigned seat, and someone near me smells like cheese. Like stinky feet. Like stinky feet cheese. It is, literally, awful. Luckily, Magic players have gotten a lot better at cleanliness over the years, but every now and then, this problem rears its ugly, smelly head.

My opponent is playing a deck similar to my first round opponent’s: creatureless burn. I get a fast start, Natural Order for Vigor, and now he has to do six damage to Vigor or all his burn spells do is make my creatures bigger. He deals six to Vigor, and that’s fine by me, since it’s not damage to me, and I still have guys swinging every turn.

In the second game, he gets stuck on one land. I get a Gaea’s Cradle, and on the third turn I cast an Acidic Slime destroying it. Then I Natural Order for a Verdant.

Nice guy, we chatted throughout the games, but I forgot to get his name. Sorry, man.

In the last round I play Adrian Alvarez who is with Tendrils. His English is perfect, and he’s a very nice guy.

I think we all know that pre-sideboard, my deck will have little chance against Tendrils. He takes the first quite easily, and I side in my four Chalices of the Void. I consider siding in my Ravenous Traps but decide not to. I keep a fast hand but one without a Chalice. Mistaaaaake.

His first play is Lion’s Eye Diamond, Chrome Mox, Mox Diamond, City of Brass. He kills me on the next turn. Throughout the entire process, I’m asking to read his cards and asking him to explain things to me. He happily obliges, keeping track of mana in his pool with colored dice, and keeping track of how many spells he has cast with a purple die. He drains me dead, and I have a final question for him. “If I sided these in,” showing him Ravenous Trap, “would they be any good against you?”

He smiles and nods. “Oh yeah. In some cases it would be very good.”

“And when exactly should I play it?”

“When I cast Ill-Gotten Gains.”

I shake his hand, thank him, pack up, and head home. I call Wendy on the way home. “Do you guys need any supplies?” Wendy asks everyone if they need anything and cries of “More Cava!” and “Doritos!” and “Handsome, available men!” ring out.

“I might’ve been able to do that men thing ten minutes ago, but I’ve left the shop now. I’ll have to try for next time.”

I think there are some men at the store that might be interested in coming to a party with available women. I’ll have to careful with the language though.

“What? No, I don’t want to come home with you, Wakefield; I don’t care if you’re available!”

“No, no, not me! Oh God.”

For instance today an opponent asked to read one of my cards and then handed it back to me. I said “
Entiendo?”
He looked at me blankly for a second, clearly confused. That was because I just asked him “Do I understand?” instead of
entiendes
which is “Do you understand?” I realized my mistake two seconds later and apologized, correcting myself. He smiled. “Yes, I understand.”

Even the charcoal for grilling here is different. When I get back to the apartment, everyone is on the terrace and chilly so I make a pyramid of charcoal in our Weber grill and soon we have a modified fire pit glowing. The odd thing is, the charcoal here spits and shoots off sparks like a Fourth of July sparkler. As it burns, it’s not just a fire but a light show as well, sometimes exploding and sending fifty sparks at once into the air in all directions to die out two feet later.

Everyone keeps trying to steer the conversation towards sex, but we keep getting sidetracked and end up talking about the new awning, how my experience with Magic in Spain was today, a son who still wets the bed at nine, Grey’s Anatomy, and Dexter.

I get up the next morning, clean a little bit, and make some changes to the deck. On Monday there are some great suggestions in the forums, and the deck now looks like this —

Good luck and have fun.

Jamie C. Wakefield
www.JamieWakefield.com