The “hipster” movement is about so much more than skinny jeans, thick-framed glasses covered in tape, mustaches, and chops so thick they can hold a pencil. It’s all about being so cool that you’re not. It’s about
being cool first.
It’s all about “The Shins” changing your life. But as soon as they’ve changed fifteen lives, they’re not cool anymore. They’re mainstream. They’re no longer hip.
So crack open a PBR, empty your pocket of 8-tracks and cassette tapes, and let’s have a seat on that old couch I have sitting on my mental porch (you know, the one with the rips and tears, but it’s okay because it’s sooooo comfy), while I tell you a story.
As I began preparing for States (Champs) this year, I realized how much of Magic is analogous to hipster culture, and I realized just how many people use this particular tournament as a chance to be hip.
This is one of the few tournaments where
everyone
is motivated to “break the format.” It’s new, cards have gone untested, and it’s a rare chance to have your name associated with a deck (or to name a deck — here’s looking at you “Pickles”). This year Joshua Edwards (who may even be the same Josh Edwards who used to write with me on Londes a million years ago) will be the go-to guy if “Vampire Vat” takes off.
I admit it, for all the snide hipster clichés that I managed to cram into the first two paragraphs, I wanted to be cool, to “innovate,” and to have my name associated with a new deck (this is always tempting unless you’re playing White Weenie, as my friend Ryan Chopra discovered when he made Top 8 of a PTQ with the deck in Kamigawa Block Constructed… now every time you Google his name one of the first hits is “Ryan Chopra — White Weenie,” which is really awkward for people who don’t play Magic).
I started before the “big” New York tournament before the week of States, and I’ll use this badly altered (go go MS Paint) picture to demonstrate where my mind went.
My thoughts immediately drifted to the utility of the free artifact creatures with an aggressive flier package, and several others, including writers on this site and longtime friend and occasional Pro Tour attendee CW Colglazier, suggested inclusion of Quest for the Holy Relic. We (meaning CW and I) came up with a basic decklist:
White Weenie (v.bad)
Â
After toying around with the deck, we realized that it was highly inconsistent and ran a bunch of bad cards when you didn’t have the Quest or Tempered Steel (I know! Who would’ve guessed that running eight zero-cost artifacts that don’t do anything would be awkward). It was a deck that had a small chance to just “run well” and smash several matches in a row, but there was little room for play skill, and it was highly draw dependent. It seemed like the kind of deck that would win a single Champs somewhere, but only on the basis of statistics.
We then dropped the Tempered Steel, Steel Overseer, Lodestone Golem, and Etched Champion to run Trinket Mage, Kor Outfitter, Adventuring Gear, and Stoneforge Mystic. It made the deck more consistent, if slower, and more resilient to spot removal. It also enabled a diverse sideboard including Elixir of Immortality, Brittle Effigy, and Necrogen Spellbomb. My thinking was less geared toward how the deck would interact with the metagame (not being scared of Lightning Bolt doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be scared of turn 4 Wurmcoil Engine!), and more focused on developing a deck that would look “fresh” on the side panel of StarCityGames.com. That “obviously” meant splashing a second color.
The obviousness of Trinket Mage’s inclusion in the deck was further emphasized when Todd Anderson wrote
this article.
Ironically (an especially appropriate adjective), our uneasiness with the deck stemmed more from this publication than from the fact that the deck itself was highly inconsistent. We thought we “broke” the deck when we found Precursor Golem to play the role of “Cloudgoat Ranger” in a deck that was looking more and more like a version of Kithkin running sixteen Goldmeadow Stalwarts and no Wizened Cenns. We perceived that the deck’s biggest weakness was to Day of Judgment (probably true in the abstract, but we were only considering weaknesses external to the deck’s construction), and dropping nine power with one card seemed to be an appropriate answer, especially since you can play around Condemn by leaving the primary golem back to bounce with Kor Skyfisher (this was before the New York tournament publicized the use of cards like Oust). Oh, and we probably forgot that Searing Blaze exists.
So, still mired in a metaphysical comedy of errors, I sleeved up a mostly finished copy of the deck, trading away potentially valuable cards for questionable ones (*cough* Mox Opal).
My girlfriend (who doubles as my immediate-access playtesting partner) was very uneasy with the deck, and repeatedly told me that I was only winning in testing because the lists we had to test against were either bad decks or bad versions of good decks. For the record, this was true (I borrowed all of our lists to test against from a Listserv that hadn’t fully fleshed out its own decks yet), but I didn’t want to acknowledge it at the time. I wanted to live the dream of attacking with Argentum Armor on turn 2.
All of this changed the Thursday before States.
A chance meeting at the Scars of Mirrodin Prerelease the weekend before Champs (at which I opened a sassy pool with multiple Glint Hawks, Contagion Clasp, and Trigon of Corruption) led to a playtesting session in Indianapolis with Indiana Champs mainstays Mark and David Tidd (the latter of whom won again this year, making him a triple crown winner in Indiana). Both are highly articulate and exceptionally intelligent, and their general feedback was: “We’ll help you get the rest of the cards for the deck if you want, but we’re not sure if that’s the deck that you want to play.”
Nonetheless, I tested the deck with them, losing badly to Valakut Ramp, any blue-based control deck, and doing mediocre against Elves. It was then that Mark made an innocent comment that ultimately caused me to abandon the deck: “You know, my son and I really go to Champs to have fun and because it’s a wonderful social outlet.”
Most of the time, Magic players abandon a deck in testing because it doesn’t work or because the metagame has shifted drastically (such as when Extended Elves “became a thing”). Those changes, though, don’t do enough to disrupt the hypnotic mirror of Magic hipster-ism. You stand in front of the mirror, and all you can see is yourself, holding your pet deck, and achieving some recognition for being the “first” to put it out there — to be the first to succeed with a new idea. The mirror only shows you how cool you could be if you cast Precursor Golem for the win in a Top 8 match, and not the more realistic future of dropping at 1-3, frustrated that your opponents are interacting with your deck or playing threats that are more substantial than a 2/2.
Mark’s comment, though, was the rock that shattered my mirror. Fun is almost the antithesis of a hipster. Unless you’re truly masochistic, it’s very difficult to focus on being at the edge of cool while enjoying yourself. I realized that if I wanted this tournament to be a good experience, I would need to, as my girlfriend put it (perhaps quoting Dennis Miller), “Buck up and put on a cup.”
I de-sleeved my deck, and Mark was kind enough to lend me a copy of the fifth place deck from another tournament:
Â
Creatures (8)
Planeswalkers (8)
Lands (25)
Spells (19)
“Now this,” I thought, “is a deck I can get behind.” More importantly, it was a deck that I’d enjoy playing. It wasn’t new or unique, but it was powerful and would likely contribute to a better tournament experience than my other deck. To make matters better, Mark and David were willing to test against me
again
with the control deck so that I could determine which cards to change and which to leave intact.
This left me with the following thoughts about established pre-Champs U/W decks:
(a)Â Â Valakut Ramp is a deceptively hard matchup if your opponent is skilled. While you have some ways to interact with their ramp (Mana Leak on Growth Spasm/Harrow/Explore), they have pseudo-inevitability because you can’t counter Valakut. While a less adept player will throw his Valakuts out on the board to be eaten by Tectonic Edge, a more experienced player will be able to put you in a position where you go from twenty to dead in a single turn. Furthermore, there are simply situations where they have a Primeval Titan, and you don’t have an answer because your opening hand full of Preordains and Mana Leaks didn’t find the cards that you needed. An
early
Baneslayer Angel or other threat is a key step in winning a game because it forces them to trigger Valakut multiple times (leaving them open to Tectonic Edge) or it forces them to have multiple burn spells.
(b)Â Â It’s tempting to cut the Wall of Omens for Spreading Seas because it’s better in so many matchups and fulfills the role of a two-mana cantrip. However, Champs traditionally has been an aggressive format, and there are still one or more viable red decks out there against which Wall of Omens is too key a card to cut. I almost cut the Wall but retained it at the last moment, much to my happiness in the first round of the tournament, when three Walls of Omens ate twelve poison counters from Putrefax.
(c)Â Â Â Ratchet Bomb doesn’t really do a lot. There may be a deck in which it’s excellent, but it adds redundancy in the wrong areas; the deck has other cards to perform similar functions but in more efficient ways.
(d)Â Â Everyone running green has Nature’s Claim or a similar card in sideboards, seemingly to combat Volition Reins out of the board (also potentially Spreading Seas). Sideboard cards frequently are a clue that a particular card (the one that the sideboard card is designed to combat) would be an excellent choice to put into the maindeck. Additionally, people don’t typically play around Confiscate effects in the first game, meaning that I’d be able to steal Titans, Eldrazi, and planeswalkers all day (which I did, in addition to stealing a Mimic Vat imprinted with Putrefax). To the extent that other decks adopt maindeck Volition Reins, cards like Into the Roil will gain additional value in the maindeck.
These thoughts ultimately led to the much less hip decklist that I registered for Champs:
U/W Control (Indiana Champs)
Creatures (8)
Planeswalkers (7)
Lands (25)
Spells (20)
Sideboard
I’m including a brief tournament overview from 2010 Indiana Champs to contextualize the suggestions that follow:
Round 1 — U/G Fauna Shaman/Mimic Vat/Putrefax Combo (Win)
Round 2 — U/W Control (Win)
Round 3 — R/G Valakut Ramp (Lose to eventual winner David Tidd)
Round 4 — R/G Eldrazi Ramp (Win)
Round 5 — Mono-Green Eldrazi Ramp (Win)
Round 6 — R/G Valakut Ramp (Win)
Round 7 — R/G Valakut Ramp (Win)
Round 8 — U/W Control (Draw into Top 8)
Quarterfinals — R/G Valakut Ramp (Lose to eventual winner David Tidd)
You might notice that I played against ramp variants six times in the nine matches that I played at Champs, and that I lost two of them — both to David Tidd. Although I took a game from him in the Quaterfinals (and could potentially have taken one in the Swiss absent a
huge
play mistake on my part), it’s worth noting that I never felt in control of either of those matches, whereas I never really felt threatened by the other ramp decks.
I suspect that this is for two reasons. First, David is a highly talented Magic player who knew his deck exceptionally well and who knew his role in the matchup. Second, his decklist probably was close to optimal. His copies of Terastodon in the maindeck were an absolute beating both times we played, allowing him to win out from under active Elspeth and Jace, the Mind Sculptor,* and the extra burn spells (two Burst Lightnings in addition to Lightning Bolt) were likewise key in killing my turn 4 Baneslayer in games 1 and 3 of the quarterfinals.
Without substantial knowledge beyond what I’ve presented here, I submit that the matchup between U/W Control and R/G Valakut Ramp, which statistics show to be the “big two” of the format, is highly dependent on play skill and deck composition (I know, it’s not exactly a revolutionary idea that Magic matches might depend on decisions, but I’m not trying to be hip here).
There are a few cards, however, that help to even the odds. As I noted earlier, Volition Reins is absolutely amazing in the maindeck against both ramp variants, and it also is excellent in the U/W Control mirror. In round 2, I beat my opponent almost exclusively with his own threats after I baited his countermagic and removal with theoretically strong (but situationally weak) threats (i.e. Baneslayer Angel).
Leonin Arbiter isn’t as frightening for Valakut Ramp as Tunnel Ignus might be from a red deck, but it’s still a decent card that allows you to slow down their acceleration. It’s somewhat better against Mono-Green Eldrazi Ramp decks because they typically can’t remove it, though they can certainly play some of their non-Eldrazi creatures (Wurmcoil Engine and Primeval Titan) with creature-based acceleration, improving Day of Judgment’s value.
Further, Valakut Ramp lists running Avenger of Zendikar and Primeval/Inferno Titan as their primary creatures (and even Wurmcoil Engine) functionally attack you in two linear ways — with Valakut and with their selection of fatties. U/W Control already is designed to deal with creatures (Day of Judgment, Condemn, and Volition Reins being the MVPs), so if you can shut down their Valakut plan then they have to rely on a path to victory (attacking) for which you have multiple answers. This makes Leyline of Sanctity an excellent card against R/G Valakut Ramp; it was one of the better sideboard cards for me on the day even though I never played against a deck that ran more than six “burn” spells.
Strategizing aside, if I could magically implant one idea from this article into every Magic player’s head, it’d be the concept that unless you’re an absolute master of Magic or have truly been hit by a flash of insight, you aren’t going to have a successful tournament by struggling to be hip.
While I enjoyed
developing
the first deck, “White Affinity,” to some extent, I was constantly frustrated by the fact that it wasn’t testing well and, consequently, by the fact that I expected to have a miserable experience at Champs.
In sharp contrast, I truly enjoyed tinkering with the U/W Control deck and working to see what role it would play in the metagame. I didn’t go into the tournament feeling like a righteous underdog snarling at my opponents from underneath a scraggly handlebar mustache. I went into the tournament feeling like I could win, and, while I doubt that any other article will mysteriously isolate “my” U/W list for discussion (because, honestly, out of the over 40 U/W lists that have already been posted from Top 8s around the continent, my list doesn’t really stand out), I had an excellent tournament experience, and, at a low EV tournament like Champs, what more could I ask for?
Sometimes the best band is being played on your Top 40 radio station, and sometimes the best deck is being played by thousands of people around the world.
* When I watched him play at other times during the day, that card was similarly excellent for him, both “land-screwing” opponents and killing potentially dangerous cards, such as Lux Cannon.Â