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You Lika The Juice? – Drinking the Thousand-Year Kool-Aid

Read Bennie Smith every week... at StarCityGames.com!
Thursday, January 22nd – This week has been a rollercoaster ride. First, we swore in a new president. The next day, the company I work for let go a small but significant number of employees; friends and colleagues who are now out looking for work in these terrible economic times. It makes me thankful for all the blessings life’s given me… including the escapism and joy that Magic brings. So let’s get on with it, eh?

Make friends with Kool-Aid
For a groove that never ends
Make friends with Kool-Aid
Make Kool-Aid with friends
Make friends with Kool-Aid
For a groove that never ends…waaaah!

The Monkeys’ Kool-Aid commercial, 1969

This week has been a rollercoaster ride. First, we swore in a new president. The next day, the company I work for let go a small but significant number of employees; friends and colleagues who are now out looking for work in these terrible economic times. It makes me thankful for all the blessings life’s given me… including the escapism and joy that Magic brings. So let’s get on with it, eh?

A year or so back I wrote about a 1,000 Year Elixir deck that I had fun with, making good use of creatures that did cool stuff when they tapped. For reference, here was the deck:

1,000 Year Elixir (circa Time Spiral Block Standard)

4 Thousand-Year Elixir
4 Icatian Javelineers
4 Mulldrifter
4 Riftwing Cloudskate
2 Grim Harvest
4 Momentary Blink
3 Unsummon
4 Mangara Of Corondor
4 Merieke Ri Berit
3 Venser, Shaper Savant
3 Island
3 Plains
2 Swamp
3 Adarkar Wastes
2 Caves Of Koilos
4 Terramorphic Expanse
3 Vivid Creek
2 Boreal Shelf
2 Frost Marsh

Sideboard:
4 Burrenton Forge-tender
4 Shriekmaw
2 Sower Of Temptation
3 Stonecloaker
1 Crovax, Ascendant Hero
1 Venser, Shaper Savant

Though I had mixed success with the deck, it had some really nice synergies, and I think with some work and dedication I could have tuned it into a decent Tier 2 deck that would be fun to take to Friday Night Magic a few more times. It made me a real fan of Thousand-Year Elixir, so while the tappers I used have all rotated out with Time Spiral block, I’ve kept an eye out for new tappers that might enjoy the haste and untapping that Elixir brings.

Recently Vithian Stinger has been making some buzz as a powerful weapon against Faerie decks. I’m all about powerful weapons against Faerie decks, so I pulled four Stingers and set them in a little stack with my Thousand-Year Elixirs.

Then Extended season has rolled around, and I started hearing about how surprisingly good Fatestitchers have been in the new Dredge deck. Hmm… Fatestitcher is a tapper, ain’t it? At four mana, Fatestitcher hits the turn after you cast Thousand-Year Elixir—how convenient!

I took 4 Fatestitchers and added them to the pile. Seemed like a promising start, so I started digging through my collection to see what else I could add to the stack… Merfolk Looter… Arcanis…

I held up my Doomed Necromancers. Hmm… I’ve been dying to try out Doomed Necromancers alongside Sedris, the Traitor King, but it seemed too painfully slow to leave the Necromancers dangling out there for a turn getting un-summoning-sick. Could the Elixir be the answer?

I’ve got Merfolk Looters… maybe some kind of crazy Looter-fueled reanimation deck with a Sedris core?

My pile of cards was starting to look out of hand… and then I stumbled across the lynchpin card I’d been looking for without even realizing it.

Crackleburr.

I realized that Crackleburr with a couple of Fatestitchers could make for some seriously crazy bounce, clearing your opponent’s side of the board in short order. Of course, we’re talking about a Gray Ogre and two four-drop 1/2s and hopefully an Elixir thrown in there at some point. How do you live long enough to pull off the shenanigans?

Then I saw the card type – Crackleburr is an elemental! Things finally clicked, and I cleared away the Necromancers and the reanimation nonsense and dove straight into an Elemental framework. Here’s what I cooked up Thursday night to play in the FNM:


There’s actually a pretty gruesome combo here if it ever comes together: Crackleburr, two Fatestitchers, and a Smokebraider. Tap the Smokebraider for two Red or Blue mana, tap one Fatestitcher to untap the Smokebraider, tap one Fatestitcher to tap Crackleburr, then use the Crackleburr’s untap ability to untap the Fatestitchers and bounce a creature — either one of your opponent’s or one of your Mulldrifters… you could even do this with the Evoke trigger on the stack. Sure, we’re talking about a four-card combo that you likely want an Elixir thrown in to facilitate it without worrying about summoning sickness, but two of the cards are Elementals you can tutor for, and the Fatestitchers can be Unearthed in a pinch. If you’ve got a random Red creature standing around not doing anything (hello, Flamekin Harbinger), you can add him to the mix to start slinging Lightning Bolts.

The sideboard was a mess thrown together as the clock struck 1:30am, and I could barely keep my eyes open from the prospect of having to get back up at 6am for work. However, I do think the Spitemares were a stroke of genius, presenting a strong problem against a couple of the decks I played against. More on them later.

A recap of how the tournament went:

Round 1 versus Nick, Cruel Control
Nick had a slow start game 1 and I managed to nickel and dime him to death two points at a time from 20 to 10 before finally getting a Horde of Notions to stick with mana to activate his ability too. Game 2 he had all the answers, I run out of steam, and he bends me over with Cruel Ultimatum. The last game we ran out of time, which is no surprise given my mid-range versus his long-range.
0-0-1

Round 2 versus Andrew, Seismic Ad Nauseam
Game 1 it looks like I’m playing against a Jund Mana Ramp deck. I get a little pressure down, he removes a fair amount of creatures, but I swing into him and take hits back with Treetop Village, until I’m down to eight and he plays some Goldenglow Moths I had to beat through and he ends up way ahead on life. He then slams down Seismic Assault and, four lands later, I’m at zero. Ouch! Game 2 I get lucky and draw my one Wispmare, so when he plays the Assault I have the answer. I doesn’t hurt also that I get the perfect opener: turn 1 Primal Beyond, cast Harbinger to fetch Smokebraider, play it on turn 2 to play Mulldrifter on turn 3. Was that a Horde of Notions I just drew into? The last game I’m a little slower, but I still have a decent hand. Andrew gets blinding speed with turn 1 and 2 Birds of Paradise, and when I tap out on turn 3 to cast the Elixir, he casts Ad Nauseam at the end of my turn to draw a bunch of cards — mostly land — and finally hits Seismic Assault while he’s at 2 life. He untaps, plays the Assault and throws 9 lands at my head to end the game. Ouch! I tell him I really liked his deck; he ends up making the Top 4, so I ask him to send his decklist, and you can find it at the end of the column.
0-1-1

Yikes! Not exactly an auspicious debut of Elixir 2K9…

Round 3 versus William with Goblin Shenanigans
William is literally rocking Goblin Shenanigans alongside all the Lorwyn block synergies that come with it. We all know Tribal Goblin isn’t consistently good enough to be Tier 1, but we also know with the right draws and tight play even Lorwyn Goblins can smoke you. He pretty much runs me over in the first game. In the second game I have to mulligan and keep a workable but shaky hand that needs either my Smokebraider to live one turn or for he to have a slow start. Luckily for me both happen, and I managed to stay alive long enough for Spitemare to make an appearance. Spitemare is an elemental that can be easily cast off Smokebraider, and while he’s a great defensive creature, you also want him to get in for some hits too… you hate to spend four mana for a 3/3 that just sits there. That’s where the Elixir comes in; you can attack with the Spitemare and still threaten to untap him and block if need be. I managed to squeak by game 2 at six life, and game 3 he has to mulligan, I get a fast early start, and handily win at 19 life.
1-1-1

Round 4 versus Michael with R/G Where Ancients Tread
Michael’s got a cool deck with a little dash of Mana Ramp, some big fat creatures (Woolly Thoctar, Cloudthresher), and a nice finishing touch – Where Ancients Tread and Stampeding Wildebeests! We knock each other back and forth; we’re both at 12 when he drops the Red enchantment. My eyebrows rise up and I wish I had maindeck Wispmare. A Thoctar and Cloudthresher later, and I’m toast. The next two games are tough, though Wispmare and Spitemares come through enough times to squeeze out victory. I did manage to trick Michael into killing my Reveillark, after attacking with it (he chose not to block with Cloudthresher), and when he swung back with the big Green giant I untapped the Reveillark with the Elixir and blocked (getting back two Mulldrifter). Go-go artifacts no one is familiar with!
2-1-1

Sadly, I don’t make the cut to the final four, which is made up of a Mono-Red Burn deck, Kithkin, the Seismic Ad Nauseam deck, and one other deck I can’t remember. The burn deck is defeated in the finals by the Kithkin deck; with so many interesting decks floating around that night, it was sad to see two conventional decks battle it out for the top spot.

Most everyone who played against or watched my deck in action really liked it, and I certainly think it has some potential. The Elixir element of the deck is solid, but it was pretty obvious the Elemental engine is what carried the day. I think the Stingers might need to move to the sideboard to bring in against Faeries and maybe Kithkin, and some Remove Souls need to be in the counterspell mix. Here’s the deck with the current tweaks:


Post-Script
As I was finishing this up, I got an email from a friend pointing out that a card previewed this week on Magicthegathering.com would be a great card to combine with Thousand-Year Elixir. Check it out:

Master Transmuter
3U
Artifact Creature – Human Artificer (Rare)
U, Tap, Return an artifact you control to your hand: Put an artifact card from your hand into play.
1/2

If ever an artifact creature wanted to have haste, this little 1/2 for four mana is it, especially considering you can transmute the Elixir itself (in response to its untapping ability activation, of course) to bring out something much more threatening! Speaking of artifacts tapping… might it be finally be time to bring out Scarecrone again?

Man, I should totally have a shirt made that says “So Many Deck Ideas, So Little Time.”

Post-Post Script
Okay, as promised here is that wacky Seismic Assault/Ad Nauseam deck, courtesy of Andrew Geiss. I really like where it’s going here; I’ve long thought Ad Nauseam would pair up nicely with Retrace cards in a land heavy deck, but I hadn’t added Seismic Assault to the equation (and in fact had completely forgotten about that card).

Seismic Ad Nauseam
Andrew Geiss

4 Goldenglow Moth
4 Birds of Paradise
4 Ad Nauseam
4 Seismic Assault
3 Condemn
3 Worm Harvest
4 Reflecting Pool
3 Vivid Grove
3 Vivid Meadow
2 Vivid Marsh
4 Treetop Village
4 Mutavault
4 Graven Cairns
4 Fire-Lit Thicket
4 Jungle Shrine
2 Rugged Prairie
4 Forbidding Watchtower

Sideboard:
2 Dawnglow Infusion
4 Firespout
3 Guttural Response
3 Thoughtseize
3 Naturalize.

Matchups at FNM:
1st Round – 2-1 versus Michael Rooks (Naya Ramp – Ancient Treads Deck)
2nd Round – 2-1 versus Bennie Smith (Elixir Elemental Deck)
3rd Round – 1-2 versus Joey Page (Mono-Red)
4th Round – 2-1 versus Shane Scotts (Vengeant Weenie)
Top 4 – 0-2 versus Joey Page (Mono-Red)

I’m wondering if maybe a pure Black/Red version of the deck might be worth trying out? Instead of basing it off Green mana-fixing/acceleration just load up on removal and then combo out on turn 5:

Seismic Ad Nauseam, Blairwitch-style

4 Raven’s Crime
3 Executioner’s Capsule
4 Terror
4 Seismic Assault
1 Syphon Life
4 Ad Nauseam
2 Worm Harvest
4 Banefire
4 Mutavault
4 Spawning Pool
4 Ghitu Encampment
4 Graven Cairns
7 Mountain
10 Swamp

I figure the newly spoiled Banefire (again, thanks MTG Salvation!) would be a nice addition, something to do with all the land you draw, inevitability, and only costs you a life off Ad Nauseam. Andrew struggled against burn, and I imagine I would as well, but if there’s not a lot of burn decks being played, this looks like a lot of fun.

Okay, that wraps things up for today… see you next week!

Bennie

starcitygeezer AT gmail DOT com

I’m listening to:
Big Brat, by Phantom Planet
Desination Unknown, by Missing Persons
Sequestered in Memphis, by The Hold Steady
Cha Cha Cha, by MC Lyte
Weather Girl, by Fruit