Hello folks!
I am taking a short break away from cards this week while my fellow pro travelers are grinding in Japan and in the Philippines. I used to love this kind of trip, going from one continent to another, hanging out with new companions, sharing new experiences, seeing new places, having new stories. The travel stories are tough to tell, because no one is interested in them. They look at the pictures, and enjoy a couple of them because you framed a beautiful landscape, but they rarely genuinely care.
When you share a travel story, it is hard to make it interesting and captivate your audience. The people you’re telling it to are either jealous or they don’t give a damn. Sometimes you do get their attention, and it’s all about making them feel how you lived the moment.
Keep that in mind, since telling Magic stories is often a lot less interesting than telling travel stories. People LOVE to talk about their games and what happened in their last tournaments. It feels so relieving to share your last bad beat, how bad your opponent played, and how awesome you played despite your loss. They are looking for compassion or, on the other hand, people to praise them.
Have you noticed how you can tell someone’s score in a tournament, when they ask you about your record? In the beginning I thought it was just annoying; now I make fun of the situation. For example, when someone asks you, looking down on you with compassionate eyes: “what’s your record?” you can be a 100% sure that they have more points than you do, and the only thing they’re waiting for is for you to ask him back. When I notice this pattern, I usually give them my score and stare at them until they either walk away or change the subject. Unfortunately, they often find another target who hasn’t noticed their little game, and they proudly rub their perfect record into their face. It’s just a way to turn a boring and uninteresting situation into something funny. [I’m 100% with you here, Raph… I also love the guys who usually never EVER talk to you at a tournament, but always ask how you’re doing when they are at X-0. — Craig, amused.]
The worst, however, are the bad beat stories. In 15 years of Magic, I can tell you I have heard somewhere around a five-digit number of bad beat stories. “I never got to my 4th land.” “He drew the only card that saved him.” If you want to feel better and get rid of your frustration, go out, take a deep breath, ask for a hug, or hit a wall (not inside the tournament site or you might get kicked out). Complaining and putting the blame on luck and bad beats is not going to turn you into a better player, and most importantly… no one ever cares AT ALL.
When someone approaches with a Magic-related story, I often have high expectations. I am often disappointed, but sometimes they are worth it. I put together a few stories I am used to telling, when the time is right. They are stories of which I have been part, or heard first hand. These are the kinds of Magic stories I love to hear, something that doesn’t often occur (ironically, bad beat stories are not that rare, despite their name), something that makes you doubt it ever happened.
An Angry Head
Location: PT: San Diego 2007
2HG was the Next Big Thing in 2007. Unfortunately, Time Spiral wasn’t the best set to try it out at a PT… or at a GP two months before that. GP: Amsterdam in March 2007 is ranked first for most chaotic GP of all time, tied with GP: Paris 2004 when they had players listing on the floor on Day 1 due to a lack of seats (and they were forced to drop when they reached their third loss) and had pairings done by hand on Day 2 when DCI Reporter crashed. It was the first time a GP was split into two tournaments, and DCI Reporter started to go crazy and paired players from different draft pods against each other. GP: Amsterdam was the first big 2HG tournament, and TOs didn’t expect so many players (yeah… very professional), they were missing lands and had judges open starters for basics. We lost about 4 hours before we finally started the tournament. The event was scheduled for 9 rounds, but after round 4, they stated that they would cut a round due to time issues. After round 5 they had to cut yet another round, and made it 7. This was two months before the PT, and in the meantime we thought they had fixed our beloved DCI Reporter and made it reliable for a PROFESSIONAL event. Round 3 of the Pro Tour was over, and we were all waiting for round 4. Thirty minutes had passed, and we were getting really impatient.
Then a rumor started to spread. Osyp came by and explained to us what happened, using his jolly face and his natural enthusiasm: “Have you guys seen what happened? There was this dude… he started arguing with his teammate. They kept arguing and arguing until he punched him in the face! The police got here and pulled him out. That’s why we are waiting. They are sorting things out with the police!”
We all looked at him in disbelief… not buying a word he said. But then he added:
“Ask Nassif!”
How could we question Gabriel’s words? If Nassif said it’s true, it had to be true… We didn’t even have to ask him, since he was not the kind of guy who would tell this kind of story if it wasn’t true. That was definitely the way to make the story believable… Even though, of course, the delay was simply because DCI Reporter had crashed again. We had a good laugh, and it helped us wait for Round 4.
Back when storytellers were invited to play the Invitational, I don’t know how Osyp didn’t get his invite…
Barcelona’s Crash Landing
Location: GP: Barcelona ‘06
Helmut Summersberger, Future Rookie of the year Sebastian Thaler, Swedish superstar Johan Sadeghpour, and Future Hall of Famers Jelger Wiegersma, Olivier Ruel, and myself sat at the table for the final draft of GP: Barcelona 2006 in Ravnica/Guildpact Limited. We were all experienced drafters, and we were up for a tough Top 8.
The draft was called at a reasonable pace, with nothing noticeably wrong for the first five picks. I have to say that I was not happy with the way my draft was going, but I had 40 picks to go. Suddenly, Jelger put his pack down in front of him and showed everyone a Crash Landing. No one had a clue what was going on, wondering why the hell Jelger would show that card to us. We first thought that he thought we were all so bad and that there was no way we could have missed such a strong card, something you sometimes do in team drafts with a “Whaaaat, are you guys kidding???”… but Jelger is a smart guy, and he knows the kind of sanctions he could get for doing that, and the card wasn’t even good.
We all looked at each other, puzzled, and finally realized what we missed that Jelger did not: Crash Landing was a card from Guildpact that had found its way into a pack of Ravnica, probably replacing a foil. Head Judge and future level 5 David Vogin decided to cancel the ongoing draft and start a new one…
I have never heard of another Top 8 draft crashing, but I am glad I was part of it!
Olivier’s Mana Severance
Location: GP: Barcelona ‘06
After the draft and before the quarterfinals, we had a little time to get a sandwich while the judges were checking the decks and bringing us basic lands. Olivier was happy about his draft, and so was I, definitely glad about the first draft crashing (complete decklists are here, and my deck is worth having a look at!). Oli was paired against Johan Sadeghpour, and they were ready to play. He mulliganed his first two hands, looking undeniably frustrated. He kept his 5-card hand with an Izzet Boilerworks and a Dimir Aqueduct, passing his first turn with no play. Drawing no land at all, and not being able to play his Karoo lands, he eventually scooped his cards. Grabbing his deck, he realized that it was particularly small… 28 cards big actually. Indeed, he had forgotten to add the basic lands to his deck…
Olivier is a very skillful player, but he is the biggest scatterbrain I know. I have traveled countless times with him, and I can’t remember how many times he had to run back to the plane because he forgot his passport/wallet in the seat pocket. The last of these “accomplishments” was forgetting his laptop, leaving it on a table during GP: Washington 2 weeks ago – he was lucky enough that someone actually took it to the judges. But in Spain, he cursed the judges so badly, as they were in charge of checking his deck but they hadn’t taken care of the lands (when, in fact, he just forgotten to add them to his deck…). The whole situation was both funny and dramatic, since it’s not something you often see at the top tables. He eventually lost game 2, and was out of contention for the title.
The Weatherseed Situation
Location: PT: LA ‘98
It was Day 2 of PT: LA ’98. Failing to make Day 2 of the main event, I played in a $1K Team event along with German superstars Peer Kroger and Stephan Valkyser. We had reached the single elimination rounds and were naturally deck checked. After a few minutes, the judges came back with our opponents’ decks, informing us there was a problem. PT: NY ’98 finalist Dominic Crapuchettes, my quarterfinal opponent, had listed his deck wrong, writing down a “Peregrine Drake” instead of a “Pendrel Drake” (next to each other on the checklist). We all thought it was no big deal, and that he would get a warning and play with his Pendrel Drake. The ruling was as follows: “You get a warning, and play with the cards you have listed.” So Dominic got to play with an uncommon Peregrine Drake (or a proxy of it) instead of a common Pendrel Drake.
We had registered the decks without having our decks swapped, so we started thinking at how random that ruling was, how you can abuse it freely without fearing a severe sanction, and that you might as well list all the rares you wanted and play with a broken deck “by mistake.”
Then I was informed that I had made a mistake as well… I had written down “Weatherseed Treefolk” instead of “Weatherseed Elf.” “Weatherseed Treefolk” is a huge Limited bomb, while “Weatherseed Elf” is a playable sideboard card. The Elf/Treefolk was listed in my sideboard, and I was told that I now had a Treefolk in my sideboard. I was surprised and shocked at the same time. Really? I argued with the judges, told them that I could not possibly have a Weatherseed Treefolk in my sideboard since our pool already had 8 rares. They made me understand that it was none of their business, and that I HAD to have it. I just could not believe it. I was too honest to allow myself to take advantage of such an unfair ruling… so I asked again, and I was then informed I’d get another warning if I kept asking. Oh well…
For the record, I felt too bad to board it in against our quarterfinal opponents, as my deck was already really good (man, was I cocky and confident back then!). I only boarded my proxied Treefolk in for the finals, and I only drew it when I already had the game in the bag…
Sneak Attacked
Location: Berlin, Worlds ‘03
I stood at 6-7, and was fighting for an extra PT point on Day 3 of the World Championships ’03 in Berlin, in the Extended portion of the tournament. I was running UG Madness and was paired against a very friendly and very physically strong bald guy from South Africa. He was about 3 times my size, all muscles. Only a couple of turns into game 1, he revealed his strategy: Sneak Attack along with Tutors (Vampiric Tutor and Gamble), Grim Monoliths, and all the fatties you can think of. On turn 4, he resolved a Sneak Attack with a Red mana available. I was tapped out, no Basking Rootwalla for a surprise block, no Daze, nothing.
“Here goes nothing!” he said, tapping a Red mana, and bringing a Phage the Untouchable into play. That was the last card I was expecting to see, especially since it was round two of the Extended portion of WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS, and he had won his last match so he probably showed his “combo” to his last opponent. I stared at him in disbelief:
“Phage? Really?!”
“Yep… Do you have a Rootwalla?”
Looking at his size, and not wanting to act (too much) like a smartass, I replied, choosing my words wisely:
“I don’t think I need one. I am pretty sure you’re dead.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Let’s call a judge to settle this…”
The judge arrived and examined the situation:
Judge: “So you activate Sneak Attack, and bring Phage the Untouchable into play?”
Him: “Yes sir.”
Judge: “Since you didn’t play it from your hand, her ability goes on the stack. Do you have anything to add on the stack?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “Neither do I.”
Judge: “Then Phage’s effect resolves… aaaaaaaaand you’re dead.”
His friendly face turned red, and didn’t look so friendly after all. He explained that a judge back home confirmed that the “combo” worked. He then added that he would have a little talk with that judge when he flew back the following week (that judge probably can’t walk now). I managed to win the match even though I lost game 2 to a couple of Hypnoxes that let me keep my hand (yep, that “combo” didn’t work either) and a few Dragon Tyrants.
A Swedish Urban Legend
Location: Unknown
Date: Sometimes in ’96-‘97
Long ago, when Stasis was still legal in Standard, a player nicknamed “the Littlest Viking” was wreaking havoc on Magic tables. It is claimed that Olle RÃ¥de once pulled one of the greatest bluffs in history. It was turn 6 of game 1 and his opponent had yet to play anything. Facing only Islands, he figured out he was paired against the future Hall of Famer that was running the dreadful Stasis deck. On his turn, Olle missed a land drop and went on to discard a Dissipate. Facing one of the slowest players of all times, Olle’s opponent considered his options: it was highly likely that Olle was holding 7 counterspells. In order to save some time, as he didn’t think he could ever win that game, he scooped to go on to game 2.
The thing was that Olle was holding 7 Islands and a Dissipate. Seeing the game was looking grim for him, he decided to go for the bluff, and his opponent bit…
I once wrote an article about bluffing, and thought about that story. I was then living in Göteborg, renting my flat from Olle. I thought it was a good opportunity to ask him about that story in person, so I could have more details. The now hairless Viking told me that it was an awesome story, and that I should definitely keep spreading it!
Even though none of it was true.
The main goal of a Magic story is to be entertaining. They help us enjoy the tournaments and waiting for the next rounds in a way bad beat stories don’t. Where else can you tell these stories anyway? I guess you can also share what you’ve seen during your round, what you sideboarded in/out, which decks you have seen on the tables around you… But those are tournament-related stories, and are much less entertaining!
Unbelievable tales make better stories. True stories are always a plus, but as long as people believe in them… it doesn’t matter so much!
Until next week…
Raph