It’s that time again, Wizards of the Coast are going to allow us to sample their newest incarnation of that magical, Magic drug, just a few scant weeks before it’s available in stores.
Which means it’s once again time for me to present you with your all-important”Prerelease Survival Guide.”
“But why a Prerelease Survival Guide?” you may ask. Well, have you ever been so surprised that a small, yellow puddle has formed suddenly between your shoes? Tinkle, tinkle…?
Probably not.
But this coming weekend is not the time to find out that your bladder control is quite capable of abandoning you there on the spot, while some fiendishly beasty spell awaits your reply on the stack!
(Cunning, no?)
Today, I’ll discuss the usual threats: instants that can ruin your day,”falters,” and things that will downright wreck you if you’re not careful.
(No, not the table, which card it might be…)
First of all, I’ll talk about one group of threats at a time, and I’ll split them again into commons and uncommons. I won’t talk about rares, because you’ll see them so infrequently that it hardly seems worth it. I’ll even edit out the bits that don’t seem relevant. The commons you’ll see aplenty, and the uncommons, not so much. But be aware, nevertheless.
“Falter”:
These are named after the card”Falter,” funnily enough. Falter reads:”creatures without flying cannot block this turn,” or something along those lines, and often meant your opponent was gonna go a darkish crimson color in the face, and a small, yellow puddle would form between their shoes. Tinkle, tinkle.
A”falter” card will probably win you the game when you play it, as long as your creatures have enough power to actually kill the opponent anyway.
The real problem comes about when your opponent gets silly ideas in their heads about running”falters” themselves. In previous sets, the best answer to a”falter” card has been a”fog”-type effect, because they commit to the attack before they realise it’s too late. A counterspell will also stop it, but won’t snatch their win from their grasp.
There are no”fogs” in Onslaught.
I repeat: There are no”fogs.”
So be on your toes for the following spells, or it’s tinkle, tinkle time.
Common:
Dirge of Dread 2B Sorcery
All creatures gain fear until end of turn.
Choking Tethers 3U Instant
Tap up to four target creatures.
Crown of Ascension 1U
Enchant Creature
Sacrifice Crown of Ascension: Enchanted creature and other creatures that share a creature type with it gain flying until end of turn.
Wave of Indifference XR Sorcery
X target creatures can’t block this turn.
Uncommon:
Akroma’s Blessing 2W Instant
Creatures you control gain protection from the color of your choice until end of turn.
The red one is the most fatal of them all; you can avoid the others in some way or another, but the red one needs a counterspell, or it’s”target player shuffles their library for game two” time.
“Combat Tricks”:
These cards turn combat into a headache. Why did she attack with that? I don’t need to block – or do I…? Can I safely gang block that, or did it”drop the soap” on purpose? Combat tricks can often be something like a Giant Growth – also known as a”pump spell” – but can be anything from”target creature you control gains protection from color x,” to”target creature actually had their soap on a rope.” How do you avoid being taken advantage of by combat shenanigans? Easy; study this list and be aware of what that sneaky opponent can get up to. Note that they are all instants.
Common:
Trickery Charm U
Target creature gains flying until end of turn.
Vitality Charm G
Choose one – Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains trample until end of turn; or regenerate target Beast.
Wirewood Pride G
Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of Elves in play.
Defensive Maneuvers 3W
Creatures of the type of your choice get +0/+4 until end of turn.
Piety Charm W
Target Soldier gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
Uncommon:
Shade’s Breath 1B
Until end of turn, each creature you control becomes black, its creature type becomes Shade, and it gains”B: This creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.”
Primal Boost 2G
Target creature gets +4/+4 until end of turn.
Cycling 2G When you cycle Primal Boost, you may have target creature get +1/+1 until end of turn.
Tribal Unity X2G
Creatures of the type of your choice get +X/+X until end of turn.
Commando Raid 2R
Until end of turn, target creature you control gains”When this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may have it deal damage equal to its power to target creature that player controls.”
Akroma’s Blessing 2W
Creatures you control gain protection from the color of your choice until end of turn.
Inspirit 2W
Untap target creature. It gets +2/+4 until end of turn.
Sunfire Balm 2W
Prevent the next 4 damage that would be dealt to target creature or player this turn.
Cycling 1W When you cycle Sunfire Balm, you may prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to target creature or player this turn.
So there’s a bunch of pump spells; blue can pull a surprise mid-air intercept; black can”Howl from Beyond” you out; and so on. Moving right along…
“Instant Speed Removal”:
Also a possible combat nightmare, especially when you think some of your pets are up to a spot of”antisocial teamwork” on one of their guys, so to speak. You might also want to be wary if you’re going in for the kill with an all-out, alpha-strike, or if you’re trying to play dress-ups with an enchant creature spell of some sort.
Note: Once again, these are all instants too.
Common:
Cruel Revival 4B
Destroy target non-Zombie creature. It can’t be regenerated. Return up to one target Zombie card from your graveyard to your hand.
Swat 1BB
Destroy target creature with power 2 or less.
Pinpoint Avalanche 3RR
Pinpoint Avalanche deals 4 damage to target creature. The damage can’t be prevented.
Shock R
Shock deals 2 damage to target creature or player.
Solar Blast 3R
Solar Blast deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
Cycling 1RR When you cycle Solar Blast, you may have it deal 1 damage to target creature or player.
Uncommon:
Death Pulse 2BB
Target creature gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
Chain of Plasma 1R
Chain of Plasma deals 3 damage to target creature or player. Then that player or that creature’s controller may discard a card from his or her hand. If the player does, he or she may copy this spell and may choose a new target for that copy.
A lot of common red burn in there. Which leads us nicely to…
“Don’t Get Burnt!”:
Red can kill you. No, sooner than you think. Didn’t block the innocent-looking little guy who just came over? That might have been the straw that will break your back, bud. Learn to count – and in this case learn to count how much, with the following collection of cards.
Common:
Profane Prayers 2BB Sorcery
Profane Prayers deals X damage to target creature or player and you gain X life, where X is the number of Clerics in play.
Shock R Instant
Shock deals 2 damage to target creature or player.
Solar Blast 3R Instant
Solar Blast deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
Cycling 1RR When you cycle Solar Blast, you may have it deal 1 damage to target creature or player.
Uncommon:
Chain of Plasma 1R Instant
Chain of Plasma deals 3 damage to target creature or player. Then that player or that creature’s controller may discard a card from his or her hand. If the player does, he or she may copy this spell and may choose a new target for that copy.
Searing Flesh 6R Sorcery
Searing Flesh deals 7 damage to target opponent.
Thunder of Hooves 3R Sorcery
Thunder of Hooves deals X damage to each creature without flying and each player, where X is the number of Beasts in play.
I thought Lava Axe was dumb when it dealt five damage; at least it’s uncommon now. And while we’re on the subject, if you do want to burn someone out, watch out for these two instants.
“Loss Prevention”:
Common:
Renewed Faith 2W
You gain 6 life.
Cycling 1W When you cycle Renewed Faith, you may gain 2 life.
Uncommon:
Sunfire Balm 2W
Prevent the next 4 damage that would be dealt to target creature or player this turn.
Cycling 1W When you cycle Sunfire Balm, you may prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to target creature or player this turn.
“Counterspell”:
Or,”when to drop the bomb.” Your opponents can stop you from dropping your good stuff, so look out for untapped blue mana near these cards. I’ve also included cards that aren’t necessarily counters – but sure act like it around your ever-so-important removal spells. Obviously, they’re all instants as well.
Common:
Ixidor’s Will 2U
Counter target spell unless its controller pays 2 for each Wizard in play.
Mage’s Guile 1U
Target creature can’t be the target of spells or abilities this turn.
Uncommon:
Complicate 2U
Counter target spell unless its controller pays 3.
Cycling 2U When you cycle Complicate, you may counter target spell unless its controller pays 1.
Discombobulate 2UU
Counter target spell. Look at the top four cards of your library, then put them back in any order.
Meddle 1U
If target spell has only one target and that target is a creature, change that spell’s target to another creature.
“Sweepers”:
Don’t overcommit to the board unless you have to. There are several cards that are capable of punishing you for not holding back on the gas somewhat. Leaving yourself vulnerable to these cards is a sure-fire way of earning a quick trip to the loss bracket.
Uncommon:
Infest 1BB Sorcery
All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.
Slice and Dice 4RR Sorcery
Slice and Dice deals 4 damage to each creature.
Cycling 2R When you cycle Slice and Dice, you may have it deal 1 damage to each creature.
Thunder of Hooves 3R Sorcery
Thunder of Hooves deals X damage to each creature without flying and each player, where X is the number of Beasts in play.
But how many beasts are there? And for that matter, how many are there of anything? Here is a quick summary for your own safety, and viewing edification: Bear in mind that I am quite, quite lazy, and am only counting once. So if the numbers are off by one, bite me.
Common:
- 12 Beasts
- 10 Zombies
- 10 Elves
- 9 Goblins
- 8 Clerics
- 8 Soldiers
- 6 Birds
- 6 Wizards
- 2 Illusions
- 1 Centaur
- 1 Insect
- 1 Wall
- 1 Druid
Uncommon:
- 13 Beasts
- 11 Wizards
- 10 Clerics
- 7 Soldiers
- 7 Birds
- 6 Zombies
- 5 Elves
- 5 Avatar
- 4 Goblins
- 3 Illusions
- 2 Wall
- 1 Insect
- 1 Druid
- 1 Mutant
- 1 Shapeshifter
- 1 Basilisk
- 1 Dwarf
- 1 Rebel
While we’re here, why don’t we have a look at a few of the better commons and uncommons that should probably make it into your deck. In fact, the only excuse for not playing some of these had better be:”It was my only (insert color here) card.” Or maybe:”My sealed deck is god-like, and that card pales in comparison.” Or perhaps even:”I’m playing Pokemon today, leave me alone.”
Pokemon?
Pokemon!?!?
It’s pronounced”Pac-Man,” you under-educated, whipper-snappers!
(Kids these days, I don’t know…)
Black’s goodies:
Common:
Nantuko Husk 2B
Creature – Zombie Insect
Sacrifice a creature: Nantuko Husk gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
2/2
6th edition rules came out just after this guy when he was first printed in Urza’s Saga. He loves the stack, especially if damage is on it.
Cruel Revival 4B
Instant
Destroy target non-Zombie creature. It can’t be regenerated. Return up to one target Zombie card from your graveyard to your hand.
You’ve got to be wary of”banish spells” that cost five mana. This one allows you to get back a card, but isn’t fussy if you don’t want one… Or as the case may be, can’t get one. It also hits some black creatures, but beware of those pesky blue cards that can change creature types.
Wretched Anurid 1B
Creature – Zombie Beast
3/3
Whenever another creature comes into play, you lose 1 life.
This thing beats early and hard, and even gives you some of its lovin’. It shouldn’t be too hard to throw away if you think it’ll become a liability. Imagine one on turn 2, and another on turn 3; the pain will be irrelevant, compared to what they’ll be doing to target opponent.
Hint: Don’t splash this; you’ll never get it early, which is when you want it.
Uncommon:
Aphetto Vulture 4BB
Creature – Zombie Bird
Flying
When Aphetto Vulture is put into a graveyard from play, you may put target Zombie card from your graveyard on top of your library.
3/2
When it says”target zombie card,” it means itself – unless, of course, you have a larger, meaner zombie lying around. This is a good ability on a flyer of this size, and doesn’t choke you if you don’t want it too.
Infest 1BB
Sorcery
All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.
Kills a lot of things, especially after combat, where they may have a few cuts and bruises.
Gluttonous Zombie 4B
Creature – Zombie
Fear
3/3
It has to be said: this is splashable, fat beats, pure and simple.
Walking Desecration 2B
Creature – Zombie
B, T: Creatures of the type of your choice attack this turn if able.
1/1
So there’s a bunch of annoying wizards hanging around over there, too scared to come into combat because your all guys have two-plus toughness? Flip ’em the bird and see how they like it. Only so many of them can tap themselves to avoid the punch up.
Blue’s goodies:
Common:
Ascending Aven 2UU
Creature – Bird Soldier
Flying
Ascending Aven may block only creatures with flying.
Morph 2U
3/2
Mistform Dreamer 2U
Creature – Illusion
Flying
1: Mistform Dreamer’s type becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
2/1
Two very efficient flyers.
Choking Tethers 3U
Instant
Tap up to four target creatures.
Cycling 1U When you cycle Choking Tethers, you may tap target creature.
I like it; you can use it as an”Ice,” or you can use it as a”Falter.”
Information Dealer 1U
Creature – Wizard
T: Look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of Wizards in play, then put them back in any order.
1/1
It counts their wizards too, by the way.
Uncommon:
Aven Fateshaper 6U
Creature – Bird Wizard
Flying
When Aven Fateshaper comes into play, look at the top four cards of your library, then put them back in any order.
4U: Look at the top four cards of your library, then put them back in any order.
4/5
This is a very big flyer for an uncommon. Do you remember Zanam Djinn? I have a sneaky suspicion that this will dominate the air as much as it did.
Fleeting Aven 1UU
Creature – Bird Wizard
Flying
Whenever a player cycles a card, return Fleeting Aven to its owner’s hand.
2/2
A smaller, yet still very efficient flyer, which you can save by cycling cards. It doesn’t matter if they can bounce it, too, it’s a much more useful ability for you than not.
Green’s goodies:
Common:
Snarling Undorak 2GG
Creature – Beast
2G: Target Beast gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
Morph 1GG
3/3
Good fat.
Spitting Gourna 3GG
Creature – Beast
Spitting Gourna may block as though it had flying.
Morph 4G
3/4
No too bad for size, and a nice surprise for flyers.
Wirewood Savage 2G
Creature – Elf
Whenever a Beast comes into play, you may draw a card.
2/2
There are many, many beasts.
Uncommon:
Centaur Glade 3GG
Enchantment
2GG: Put a 3/3 green Centaur creature token into play.
There are many, many centaurs. And many, many fat creatures at green’s disposal. Too many to mention, anyway. But what’s new?
Red’s goodies:
Common:
Solar Blast 3R
Instant
Solar Blast deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
Cycling 1RR When you cycle Solar Blast, you may have it deal 1 damage to target creature or player.
Split card: Bolt/Zap. Very flexible red removal.
Sparksmith 1R
Creature – Goblin
T: Sparksmith deals X damage to target creature and X damage to you, where X is the number of Goblins in play.
1/1
So what if Fireslinger could hit players? This one can kill off bigger guys instead, making it nigh-on insane, in my books.
Uncommon:
Airdrop Condor 4R
Creature – Bird
Flying,
1R, Sacrifice a Goblin: Airdrop Condor deals damage equal to the sacrificed Goblin’s power to target creature or player.
2/2
Red doesn’t often get flyers – and especially not ones with very useable abilities.
Slice and Dice 4RR
Sorcery
Slice and Dice deals 4 damage to each creature.
Cycling 2R When you cycle Slice and Dice, you may have it deal 1 damage to each creature.
Flexible Wraths are good, no?
White’s goodies:
Common:
Battlefield Medic 1W
Creature – Cleric
T: Prevent the next X damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn, where X is the number of Clerics in play.
1/1
Like a Hallowed Healer, only one mana cheaper…
Daru Cavalier 3W
Creature – Soldier
First strike
When Daru Cavalier comes into play, you may search your library for a card named Daru Cavalier, reveal it, and put it into your hand. If you do, shuffle your library.
2/2
Two 2/2 first strikers will hold off attacker for a while. Even better if you open three.
Gustcloak Harrier 1WW
Creature – Bird Soldier
Flying
Whenever Gustcloak Harrier becomes blocked, you may untap it and remove it from combat.
2/2
A cheap, efficient flyer, with an excellent ability. The Sentinel, which is a 3/3 uncommon groundpounder, is also very high quality.
Uncommon:
Akroma’s Blessing 2W
Instant
Creatures you control gain protection from the color of your choice until end of turn.
Cycling W
Two in one. Can be used a”Falter,” or to save one or more of your guys. No? Cycle it. What’s not to love?
Catapult Squad 1W
Creature – Soldier
Tap two untapped Soldiers you control: Catapult Squad deals 2 damage to target attacking or blocking creature.
2/1
Once you get three other soldiers down, things get… Ew, yucky!
Now finally for an instant-mana check list. If you see the corresponding mana open, they can pull the following tricks on you. Tinkle, tinkle.
1 Mana:
Common:
U |
Flying |
|
G |
+1/+1 and trample/ regenerate Beast. |
|
G |
||
R |
2 damage. |
|
W |
+2/+2 target Soldier. |
2 Mana:
Common:
1U |
Tap a guy. |
|
1U |
Counter removal spell, or ability. |
|
1W |
Gain 2 life. |
Uncommon:
1U |
Redirect a single target spell targeting a creature. |
|
1W |
Prevent 1 damage |
3 Mana:
Common:
1BB |
Small creature removal. |
|
2U |
Counter. |
|
1RR |
1 damage. |
|
2W |
Gain 6 life. |
Uncommon:
X1B |
||
2U |
Counter. |
|
2W |
Prevent 4 damage. |
|
2G |
+4/+4. |
|
2R |
Combat damage creature removal. |
|
2W |
Protection. |
|
2W |
Untap, and give +2/+4. |
4 Mana:
Common:
3U |
Tap 4 guys. |
|
3R |
3 damage. |
|
3W |
+0/+4 for lots of guys. |
Uncommon:
2BB |
-4/-4. |
|
2UU |
Counter. |
|
X2G |
5 Mana:
Common:
4B |
Non-Zombie removal. |
|
3RR |
4 unpreventable damage to a creature. |
Right, that’ll do for now. See you.
Ray.
(beep)