Maybe you’ve thought to yourself at some point, “Should I register on the StarCityGames forums and post my opinions on article XYZ?” Maybe you’ve discovered some incredible combo and you’d like to share it with everyone, or maybe some writer said something you disagree with to the point of religious zeal and by golly, you really want to chastise that writer! Perhaps you’ve got a burning desire to discuss the top decks in your favorite format right now and you want to add your thoughts to whatever discussion is present.
But still, you wonder, “Are the StarCityGames.com forums right for me?” Well, it’s a difficult question to answer and not just anyone could give you the proper answer. I myself long struggled with this question, until I developed a test that can be taken to determine, once and for all, exactly who the forums are right for. So get your pen and paper (so twentieth century) or your notepad file ready, and dig in.
#1 I want to join the SCG forums because:
A) I have some really incredible tech to share. (+5 points)
B) I have some useful feedback about an article. (+3 points)
C) I just like to converse. (+1 point)
D) Johnny Writer really ticked me off. I just want to lay into that guy without any actual logic, just insults. (-5 points)
#2 I feel I have something to offer the forums because:
A) I am not adverse to the viewpoints of others and will hold discussions in calm, civil tones, even when disagreeing. (+5 points)
B) I’m a friggin’ pro. Who are you, monkey boy? (+3 points)
C) Well, I won’t intentionally start any fights and I’ll make minor use of insults at best when disagreeing. (+1 point)
D) I am confrontational, do not acknowledge other peoples’ valid points, and skew facts or just make stuff up when presenting an argument. (Automatic fail)
#3 The forums have something to offer me because:
A) They are a place where I can share my well thought-out and researched insights, where all may benefit from them. (+5 points)
B) I can post my cool decklists there and get them critiqued and maybe engage in the occasional hot topic thread. (+3 points)
C) Hey, it’s a good place to kill time. (+1 point)
D) It’s a wonderful place for me to vent my ego and make you morons worship me. (-10 points)
#4 Before using the internet, it has come to my attention that literacy is a key factor in using the internet. As such:
A) I am prepared to prove that I can read what other posters write, and will make my replies based on what they said. (+7 points)
B) While my reading comprehension skills may not be perfect, any discrepancies are at least more likely to be mistakes than malicious in nature. (+5 points)
C) I don’t read overly long posts, but I also won’t skim three sentences and then pretend like I’ve read the entire thing. (+3 points)
D) I don’t read other peoples’ posts at all. I just make my non-inflammatory comments and depart. (+1 point)
E) I’m not actually literate and I will constantly misquote people, put words in their mouths, and start fights based on things I only think people said. (-15 points)
#5 Say you are a fairly new Magic player, and you’ve come to the SCG forums for help improving. The proper tack is:
A) Be respectful to those who came before me, listen to what they say, and take their advice when they give it. (+10 points)
B) Ask several questions, wait patiently for answers, and not be afraid to ask for clarifications. (+7 points)
C) Read a few interesting sounding topics, posting a small thank you to those who shared their wisdom. (+5 points)
D) Skim around a bit, just looking specifically for stuff you want to know, maybe make a post or two. (+3 points)
E) Beg for help. Don’t be very specific about what I need, but give at least a gist. (+1 point)
F) Don’t read anything, just make a post with bad grammar and bump it every ten minutes until someone answers me. (-3 points)
G) Make several posts asking for help, frequently question the premises of those who offer to help, ignore advice. (-5 points)
H) Make a practically unreadable post and flame several of the people trying to help me. Double the negative points if I manage to insult a known Person Who Knows What They’re On About. (-10 points)
#6 I have a disagreement with another forum poster. I should:
A) Take it to private messages and maintain a polite, civil tone while trying to work out our differences. (+20 points)
B) Post a well-reasoned and well-researched reply, flame-free. (+10 points)
C) Politely change the topic, or go to a different thread. (+5 points)
D) Simply disregard said poster and continue posting on the thread. (+1 point)
E) Make a poorly conceived jape regarding the mother of the other poster. (-3 points, -100 originality points)
F) Call into question my opponent’s parentage, sexuality, and/or the existence of their brain, publicly decry them as a Satan worshipper/sheep lover/televangelist, et cetera. Basically make an ass out of myself. (-10 points)
#7 Help! People are ignoring the sheer brilliance of my post! I should:
A) Get over it. (+5 points)
B) Politely ask if anyone did indeed read my sheer brilliance. (+3 points)
C) Do what that swell fellow Rivien Swanson did and make an article out of it! (0 points) [Note: This answer is currently being checked for bias.]
D) Post my post a couple of more times, just in case all those fools missed it. (-3 points)
E) Make unnecessary new threads with my post and demand people read them. (-10 points)
#8 I want to make a post, but I’m not at least pretty sure all my facts are straight, or indeed even facts. I should:
A) Double check all my information; no, better yet, triple check it. I’ll post once I make sure I know what I’m on about. (+7 points)
B) Double check all my information. I’ll post once I’m pretty sure I know what I’m on about. (+5 points)
C) Double check at least most of my information, so at least if I slip up a bit, it won’t be catastrophic. (+3 points)
D) Double check at least the main point of my post, so I at least won’t look like an utter tool. (+1 point)
E) Just post. Eh, screw it. If I’m wrong, someone will correct me, amiright? (-1 point)
F) Post what I know, and then just make stuff up for whatever I don’t know, and hope no one notices. If called on it, I will make references to shadowy conspiracies hiding the truth, but no matter what, I will never admit being wrong. (-25 points)
#9 Someone has just pointed out that I’ve made a mistake with my facts. I should:
A) Apologize, and thank the person for correcting my previous false information. (+7 points)
B) Apologize, and try to do better next time. (+3 points)
C) Thank the person who pointed out the correction and move on. (+3 points)
D) Feebly try to defend a point already proven wrong. (-3 points)
E) Insult the person who corrected me, and then proceed to tell them they’re wrong, even though fifteen people are telling me they’re right. Geez, what a bunch of morons. (-15 points)
#10 Help! My score so far is negative because I’m a disagreeable, lazy git who pretends to know a lot more than I actually do! What should I do? I should:
A) Kill yourself. (+100 points)
B) Get off of the internet instead of spreading my rampant disinformation around and spoiling the place. (+50 points)
C) Get the assistance of a doctor or a sledgehammer in ensuring I will never reproduce. (+50 points)
D) Not use the forums. (Good call!)
E) Make an effort to improve myself and perhaps one day I will be able to contribute in a useful manner. (+10 points)
F) Carry on regardless, because I’m also stubborn and/or illiterate (how did I make it this far??) (-10 points, then kill yourself)
Scoring:
82+ points: You must have answered either A, B, or C to the last question… so why are you still here?
41-81 points: You seem like a swell person. Looking forward to seeing your contributions!
1-40 points: Well, on some level or another, you’re competent enough to post. You may not be the perfect poster, but you’ll do.
Less than 1 point: You failed, go away. Read all the articles you want, but for the sake of all that’s reasonable, please stay out of the forums.
Hopefully this little quiz has helped you answer whether or not the StarCityGames forums are right for you. If this has been useful to you, then I’ll be happy to hear about it… in the forums!
Signing off,
Rivien Swanson
flawedparadigm a(aye Carumba!)t gmaSPAMSUCKSil d(.)ot co[I like kittens.]m
Flawed Paradigm on MTGO (Remember, /join SCG!)
GodOfAtheism just about everywhere else.