I wouldn’t usually run the Other People’s Decks feature too close to each other, but when friend of the show and fellow Rules Committee member Scott Larabee shipped me his new Vampires list, I felt compelled to share. This started as a Garza Zol, Plague Queen deck. Post-Dark Ascension, Scott said that he truly wanted to commit to the theme. He dropped the blue, picked up Olivia, and here we are. It’s a deck that stays mostly on theme, but drifts a little off in the name of some good cards. It’s strong enough to make interesting games but certainly doesn’t go over the top.

Speaking of strong, I think there’s a significant misconception about how and why cards get banned. Simply put, cards don’t get banned because they’re good, they don’t get banned because they end games (although they might if they end games too early); they get banned because they make miserable games. When you’re finished with a game and you look up to see everyone else sitting, arms folded, kind of staring blankly at you, you know it’s been a miserable game. Yes, players can create miserable games with many different cards, but the Banned List contains the worst offenders, the sort of “players don’t really do anything but with these cards.” Having a banned list shapes a narrative for the format, and we try to look at it as a whole as opposed to individual cards, or at least when we’re looking at individual cards, consider how they’re fitting into the whole.

Olivia Voldaren:  A single-card creature control strategy, Olivia is awesome leading a legion of Vampires (actually, she’s quite awesome leading a legion of anything). I hope she comes around some day with more fortunate art.

Artifacts (5)

Expedition Map:  If you’re not planning on recurring the creature that has a similar effect, Expedition Map makes more sense than, say, Sakura-Tribe Elder, since you can get any land. Scott’s running Cabal Coffers/Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth, which I’m awfully bored with seeing, but at least he’s not using to Exsanguinate out…wait, yes he is. Mental note to play Ruhan (and specifically Parallectric Feedback) next time we sling together.

Mimic Vat:  You can’t get angry when someone blows up your Mimic Vat. In fact, I say so here.

Nevinyrral’s Disk:  Black/red is really good at destroying some things (like creatures) and really bad at destroying others (enchantments), so the Disk is the answer. Given that things are wont to come crawling back out of the graveyard here, I might consider another Disk-style effect like Oblivion Stone.

Sensei’s Divining Top:  I want Armada to bring back the point for destroying a Top. It’s not like my Krosan Grips are a waste; it’s just a rewarding and tricky task.

Sol Ring:  Clearly I’m not articulating, “Sol Ring isn’t getting banned,” clearly enough since people keep asking. Guess I’ll have to work on more concise verbiage.

Creatures (28)

Anathemancer:  It’s a Zombie, so it’s crept across tribal lines, but as I’ve said recently, I play it in every deck that has black/red so I understand why Scott is playing it.

Blood Seeker:  Here’s to you, Avenger of Zendikar!

Bloodghast:  With so many “sacrifice a creature to do stuff” effects, this is a robust choice.

Bloodgift Demon:  It’s mostly a big-bodied Phyrexian Arena for you, but when someone is at one it’s a killer.

Bloodline Keeper:  Getting this guy transformed should be pretty easy, and then it’s probably lights out for someone. That he helps with Captivating Vampire is a bonus.

Bloodlord of Vaasgoth:  Cool design and everything, but I get the impression the bloodthirst ability isn’t actually going to matter all that much.

Butcher of Malakir:  Butcher is a complete business card. There are enough sacrifice outlets here where you have a great deal of control of the rest of the board. Of course if someone else has a Butcher of their own or a Grave Pact, one creature going to the yard likely turns into a board-sweeper.

Captivating Vampire:  In an environment or game that doesn’t have a heavy board-control element, this guy is a house. He quickly becomes quite dangerous because every creature he steals adds to the Vampire count. Note that control is permanent. Combined with Olivia, things arrive at the New Vampire World Order much faster.

Chancellor of the Dross:  There was a time when we would’ve rushed to play a flying, lifelink 6/6 for seven mana. Now, he’s just a guy. Of the Chancellors, he’s nothing special (although I can’t wait to play Chancellor of the Spires in my Mimeoplasm deck). Sure, his opening hand ability is a swing, but it’s also likely to get people pointed at you right away.

Falkenrath Aristocrat:  So this family walks into a talent agency…

Fiend of the Shadows:  When I first saw the card I thought that I’d be interested in playing it, but I didn’t realize that it was a Vampire. Once the Fiend deals the damage and the card is exiled, you can cast it even if the Fiend goes away. I don’t see too many Humans to sacrifice for the regeneration ability, but I suppose you could steal some with Captivating Vampire.

Filth:  I kind of object to Scott playing Filth in the Vampire deck. After all, Vampires are clean and high class. You know, simply better than us uncool mortals.

Falkenrath Noble:  The Noble provides paths to victory that don’t involve combat. Imagine facing down the no-win scenario of getting killed by all the Vampires running around or dying when you kill all the Vampires. This and Blood Seeker together double punishment.

Fleshbag Marauder:  Okay, we’re getting off theme here. Perhaps this just wandered in from a Zombie deck, confused about the segregation of the undead.

Gatekeeper of Malakir:  The Gatekeeper, who’s usually awesome against Uril, the Miststalker, makes me think that I haven’t seen a good Uril deck in a long time. I’d love to see one that’s not quite as one-dimensional as just enchanting Uril and getting in, but he’s kind of a one-trick pony.

Grave Titan:  Does anyone actually remember that Grave Titan has deathtouch? Seems to not come up very often.

Malakir Bloodwitch:  Another alt-win condition for the deck, it makes me realize that there’s also a fair amount of life gain in it.

Massacre Wurm:  Yeah, he’s sauce on his own, but combine with Falkenrath Noble for added pain.

Mephidross Vampire:  This guy provides the Conspiracy effect of making everything a Vampire, which makes a number of cards in the deck even better. When I saw this on the list, I immediately scrolled down to see if Triskelion is also there, and was happy to see it’s not.

Netherborn Phalanx:  In this format, I’m a fan of punishing players for doing stuff to excess, whether it’s land ramp (Acidic Soil), card draw (Cerebral Vortex, Sudden Impact), or making a zillion creatures, which this takes care of. The transmute ability gives you some flexibility to maybe get that fifth Vampire you need for Captivating Vampire, Nirkana Revenant for the mana-doubling, or Mikaeus for the complete blowout.

Nirkana Revenant:  You could certainly feature the Revenant in a Single Card Strategy article. Mana doubling and the pump ability make him especially good late game after a series of board wipes.

Reaper from the Abyss:  I’m over the fact that Scott isn’t a complete slave to the Vampire theme (although our Vampire overlords aren’t quite as pleased). There’s enough death and destruction going around, both in the format and in this deck, to make this guy really good. Note that there are eight Reapers in Magic. Okay, seven: Windreaper Falcon doesn’t really count. If I were to make some kind of combo deck, it’d be killing people by making them deal damage to Reaper of Sheoldred.

Stromkirk Captain:  The Captains are an excellent cycle, simple but clever in design. Crisp and refreshing, like a nice South African Sauvignon Blanc.

Vampire Hexmage:  I’m really surprised that I don’t see more of the Hexmage played in EDH. There are so many things — Planeswalkers, Kresh, Hamletback Goliath — with counters on them, it’s a wrecking ball. Now consider this:  you have Hexmage, Mikaeus, and a creature with +1/+1 counters on it which is about to die. Sacrifice the Hexmage targeting the creature. Mikaeus triggers, putting the Hexmage back, then the counters on the other dude go away so that when it dies, it comes back!

Vampire Nighthawk:  Every time I see this picture, it feels to me like a cross between Predator and Kate Beckinsale in the opening scene of Underworld. Flying, deathtouch, and lifelink make this a great three-mana package.

Vampire Nocturnus:  This was deadly in Standard, and it’s deadly in this deck. It turns “Hrm, looks like the Vampire deck is in a decent position” to “WHY ARE ALL THE VAMPIRES KILLING ME???”

Viscera Seer:  This is probably the most shenanigan-filled card in the deck. Combine with Butcher of Malakir and Grave Pact for board control while you’re controlling your library, and of course, the normal Mikaeus stupidity.

Withered Wretch:  If you don’t fear other people’s graveyards, you haven’t been paying attention to the format.

Artifact Creature (1)

Solemn Simulacrum:  The play I want to see in this deck is with Mephidross Vampire, Stromkirk Captain, Lord of Lineage, and Vampire Nocturnus all on the battlefield, and Jens attacking for seven a turn.

Legendary Creatures (7)

Ascendant Evincar:  I was going to say something snarky about this card choice until I realized that he’s actually a Vampire; another choice to get when you transmute Netherborn Phalanx.

Drana, Kalastria Bloodchief:  So dangerous with Nirkana Revenant, Drana doesn’t even have to be a general to do some serious killing.

Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker:  Getting the three red might be a slight challenge (I only count seven red sources plus two ways to fetch them), but otherwise, there are so many good choices in this deck for KJ to copy I don’t know where to start—but I’ll mention that this is one of the few decks I’ve seen the card in that it’s not simply used as a game-ender all the time.

Mikaeus, the Unhallowed:  Yes, Mikaeus is bonkers, and yes, he provides some pretty saucy combos. All of your guys (except Humans) having undying is a game-changer. I guess Standardize would be a blowout against him. The build-around space for Mikaeus is wide and deep. It’s clearly the best card in the format from Dark Ascension, and I’m looking forward to seeing what further insane stuff EDH players come up with to go with him.

Sheoldred, Whispering One:  Sheoldred is a great card, no doubt, but I think it engenders a disproportionate amount of fear in players. He’s not even the best Praetor—in fact, he might be third best.

Urabrask the Hidden:  Speaking of Praetors, this is arguably the best. He’s aggressively costed for what he does and can certainly bring wins out of left field.

Xiahou Dun, the One-Eyed:  The bad news is that he’s a Human. The good news is, well, everything else.

Enchantments (6)

Bloodchief Ascension:  This is a card rightly feared. Once it gets rolling, it will get life totals changing swiftly.

Gratuitous Violence:  Obviously any deck that has creatures dealing damage loves this card, since it’s only for you (unlike Furnace of Rath). Like with KJ the three red might be an issue, but otherwise it makes games more violent.

Grave Pact:  Makes me reconsider running Tajuru Preserver.

Necropotence:  With all the life gain in this deck, Necropotence is a fair choice. It’s not like it’s fueling a combo deck. It’d be awful to see Everlasting Torment after you drop this, but otherwise it seems strong.

Phyrexian Arena:  Comes down early, draws cards for you. Simple.

Wound Reflection:  I don’t enjoy seeing this in combination with Sorin Markov (definitely a cheese combo IMO), but otherwise it makes you sit up and think about the attack step. Now that you know he’s playing it, you’ll be careful.

Planeswalker (1)

Sorin Markov:  Sorin (and Magister Sphinx) are lightning rods for the ire of some players, but quite honestly, there are few ways to combat life gain in the format (other than general damage). Sure, they’re used for the “deal 30” option, but they seem to me reasonable protection as opposed to broken.

Sorceries (12)

Ambitions Cost:  Mini-Necropotence that doesn’t cost you your regular draw.

Beacon of Unrest:  Turns out the undead are quite restless. Don’t forget the ability to get an artifact with this. Quite nice with your own Nevinyrral’s Disk should you get into trouble, even better with someone else’s Oblivion Stone.

Beseech the Queen:  “Please, Queen, can we have good stuff?”

Blood Tribute:  Okay, also cheese with Wound Reflection. I think in this deck, this gets kicked every time it’s cast.

Corrupt:  With Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth on the battlefield, this can net you some life. It’s a middling choice as far as I’m concerned, although since the deck is quite aggressive, I suppose it could be a finisher.

Damnation:  Sometimes other peoples’ creatures are just better than yours. And for that, you must kill them.

Decree of Pain:  Kill them, and draw cards.

Demonic Tutor:  It was me. I let the dogs out.

Exsanguinate:  Yawn.

Grim Discovery:  This little gem is extremely good. For the low cost of 1B, you get two cards back from your graveyard, and if a land is really important to you, like getting back Crypt of Agadeem or an emergency Wasteland for someone else’s Cabal Coffers, this fits the bill.

Living Death:  You already know this is my favorite card ever, and there’s very little that I can say about it that I haven’t said already—except, “Taste it, Grafdigger’s Cage!” 

Syphon Mind:  Theoretically card advantage defined, it almost seems to me to be card parity instead. You normally draw one to your opponents’ three, so this is just getting you back to even and not getting you ahead.

I don’t really have much to say about the lands. Crypt of Agadeem is a reasonable card with really cool art. I am so ennui-filled about Cabal Coffers that if I were younger and emaciated, I could be a Calvin Klein model. Finally, don’t underestimate the value of the Phyrexian Tower/Grave Pact combo.

Lands (22)

Badlands
Barren Moor
Blood Crypt
Bloodstained Mire
Bojuka Bog
Cabal Coffers
Command Tower
Crypt of Agadeem
Dragonskull Summit
Evolving Wilds
Forgotten Cave
Graven Cairns
Marsh Flats
Maze of Ith
Polluted Delta
Rakdos Carnarium
Reliquary Tower
Scalding Tarn
Temple of the False God
Verdant Catacombs
Vesuva
Wasteland

Legendary Lands (2)

Phyrexian Tower
Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth

Basic Lands (15)

11 Swamp
4 Mountain

While I mention some cards (or combinations thereof) that I would not personally choose to play, I think Scott’s deck is an excellent example of playing a very strong deck which doesn’t go over the line. When you sit down to play with it, you’re going to have to watch out. It can kill you in the more normal fashion of just getting into the red zone, but then it also has quite a number of ways to get there without attacking. Strong but fair is the perfect way to Embrace the Chaos.