I’ve always done pretty well at States, too, although I had to skip playing last year, due to a) my recent move to Washington, b) my then-lack of employment and c) the fact that the Palouse, as previously and frequently mentioned, is basically a big Black Hole of Suck, especially when it comes to game stores and Magic players, specifically, the lack thereof.
But I’m nothing if not persistent. Or stubborn. Or stupid. Take your pick.
Rant the first: I want to know – in all seriousness, and I would really appreciate hearing from someone in charge of such things – who’s idea it was to put States two weeks after the release date of a heavily hyped product. I don’t have to tell anyone who had to scramble to get four Sacred Foundries how this short turnaround time led to the hyperinflation of card prices – prices I’m pretty sure are going to go down considerably now – but that’s of little comfort for those who had to shell out mondo big bucks for a playset of lands.
I can understand, from a retailer’s point of view, why an early States tournament is good – but from a player’s point of view (at least, this player’s view), it sucked. If I wasn’t able to borrow half the cards I needed, I wouldn’t have gone to States this year. And I’m sure I’m not the only person who was stuck in that boat.
Not too many years ago, a lot of people dropped out of the tournament scene because it became too much of financial drain to keep up with new sets and constantly shell out hundreds of dollars just to stay competitive. This is what may be happening again by putting major, popular tournaments so soon after the release dates of new sets (remember, Regionals was also held very shortly after the release of Saviors of Kamigawa as well). Remember the parable of killing the goose that laid the golden egg?
Hm. Apparently not.
Why can’t we have States in November anymore? Can someone please give me an answer here? I ask for so little (and, boy, do I get it).
Aside to rant the first: given the fact that I am one grade-A cheapskate of Scottish heritage, legendary for pinching pennies so tight that Lincoln screams in agony, having money to spend on Magic cards has seldom a problem. However – and I’ll spare you the longer version of the story – I have been pretty short on cash for the past two months because I got promoted.
No, that’s normally not how it works. But due to the vagaries of switching from an hourly to a salaried position and the fact the Washington State University’s Human Resources department makes FEMA look like a paragon of organization, I was essentially in a jobless limbo for far too long, and rent and food take precedence over Magic cards – well, you could eat Magic cards; they certainly are high in fiber, but I actually did eat one during an Iron Man match, and I won’t regale you with various Tales of Constipation that then ensued.
As much fun as bashing my employer is, however, I suppose I should get back to the article at hand.
I’d fallen hard for the speedy beats of WW/r (henceforth referred to, more eloquently and appropriately, as "White Lightning") ever since I got a hold of the Ravnica spoiler, well ahead of Knut’s extolling. I had a pretty well tuned version for almost a month.
But you know the trouble with the early best decks. Popularity breeds contempt. Archetypes evolve. Any deck running Black starts putting Hideous Laughters main. Blue control decks start adding Threads of Disloyalty. Before you know it, what was a Tier 1 deck is going down faster than Paris Hilton after a roofie colada.
I had a very bad feeling that I was going to be walking into the lion’s den wearing T-bone underwear, but it was far too late for me to scrounge up another set of Ravnica lands.
That would be the tournament in Missoula, Montana. Funny thing, geography.
Rant the second: The older I get, the less fun these long drives to tournaments become. Especially in Idaho. There may be states with worse roads. There may be states with worse drivers. But there is no state that has, cumulatively, the worst drivers on the worst roads. The entire state seems to be undergoing constant road construction (after decades of disrepair), the two second rule I learned in driver’s ed seems to be the 0.2 second rule here and if I had a nickel for every time I’d been pushing 70 and been flipped the bird for driving too slow… well, I wouldn’t be beefing about those Sacred Foundries.
If you live in Idaho, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t… consider yourself warned.
As expected, the turnout is small, about fifty people – Boise is not the hotbed of Magic that Portland and Seattle are. Roughly half the field seems to be running some flavor of White weenie. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.
My version, after much consternation and desperate borrowing of cards at the last moment, looked like this:
White Lightning II: Electric Boogaloo!
4 Lantern Kami
3 Isamaru, Hound of Konda
4 Hand of Honor
4 Leonin Skyhunter
2 Kami of Ancient Law
4 Skyknight Legionnaire
4 Shock
4 Lightning Helix
1 Char
4 Glorious Anthem
4 Umezawa’s Jitte
4 Sacred Foundry
4 Forge[/author]“]Battlefield [author name="Forge"]Forge[/author]
2 Mountain
11 Plains
1 Eiganjo Castle
Sideboard:
4 Hokori, Dust Drinker
3 Paladin en-Vec
3 Terashi’s Grasp
2 Pithing Needle
3 Bathe in Light
Yes, I went lower on the flier count – eight 1/1 fliers just seemed too inviting to a Hideous Laughter. Instead, I upped the burn count with some anti-Birds, anti-mirror Shocks and a couple of Kami of Ancient Law.
The maindeck I was fairly happy with, the sideboard I hated. I should have listened to Knut; Promise of Bunrei would have been a much better choice than Hokori (an utter nonfactor), and the Paladins were supposed to be Chars. But this was the best I could do on short notice – I’m lucky I managed to get what I needed.
But, I remind myself, I lucksacked into Nationals, maybe I can get lucky again.
Only six rounds with fifty people. I won’t complain; that means I might make it home before midnight if things go quickly. (Get a map, you’ll see what my drive looked like. Ugh.)
Round 1: Dustin Frawley (WW/r)
Wow, the mirror. What a surprise.
The first game is pretty much a reminder about why the new legend rule is good. Dustin wins the roll and opens with Plains, Isamaru. Cue the banjo music, as my opening play is also Plains, Isamaru. Dustin starts dropping 2/2’s, I fall behind with only a turn 3 Glorious Anthem, and things are looking bad when Dustin can Jitte up a Hand of Honor, but I topdeck into a copy and we play the matter-antimatter game – but Dustin curiously forgets to remove the two counters for four life, and I won’t complain about that oversight.
I take a few beats, Dustin drops another Isamaru, and I play the fourth hound of the match on my turn.
Fear not, there was no pig squealing to be had.
Fortunately, I’m drawing more burn than Dustin (although I do have to point out that Lighting Helix is not an either/or spell but, yes, you get the burn and the life). A second Glorious Anthem, two nondescript beaters and a Helix of my own is enough to allow me to swing for an alpha strike and the game.
In come the Paladins and a couple of Bathe in Light for the Char and a few random creatures I don’t recall.
Game two, I have to mulligan, and I’m facing off against Dustin’s first turn… Empty-Shrine Kannushi?
That’s definitely something completely different.
Dustin adds to his army with Boros Swiftblade, but my Paladins, in from the side, do a pretty good job of staunching the potential beats, and I get the Jitte of Mass Retardedness and a flier before he Dustin does, and they start eliminating his ground forces in short order.
I swing with a Jitte’d up Paladin for the win, Dustin answers with his sideboard tech (Boros Fury-Shield), and I answer with mine (Bathe in Light), and that’s the match.
For the record, Knut, neither of these cards proved to be all that good.
Round 2: Trapper Sweet (Flores Blue)
To my knowledge, my opponent is in no way related to Trapper John, M.D., or the Trapper Keeper. And, curses, he would have to be running the one Flores Blue deck in the room.
Starting with a double mulligan doesn’t help my chances either (I think you need 23 lands with this deck now). At least I’m on the draw, though, and have three mana sources and the Doggie of Fast Beats in hand. And Isamaru does indeed get a few beats in, until he falls into Quicksand. I keep some pressure on with a Leonin Skyhunter and Skyknight Legionnaire with a Jitte, but am forced to expend Jitte counters on my own Skyhunter to prevent it from being stolen with a Threads. I manage to Char Meloku, but a second copy comes out two turns later and I don’t have the burn or Jitte to take him out.
Game two, I have a better draw, turn 1 Isamaru, turn 2 Jitte. Unfortunately, I can’t keep my creatures around long…I keep running into Execute, Last Gasp, Quicksand…if only one of my seven pro-Black creatures would show up, for the love of Knut… still, I’m able to dink away, a two points here, two points there, but then Kagemaro, First to Suffer shows up.
I don’t remember him from Flores’ decklist. Not a bad addition, certainly.
Facing down a 6/6 Kagemaro who is rapidly draining my life, I make a fateful decision. With a lone Isamaru holding the fort against Kagemaro, I gamble and aim both my Lightning Helixes…at Trapper’s dome, taking him down to three, and me back up to nine. That will buy me at least two turns to buy a burn spell or more hasty beats. Isamaru gets killed with Execute, and I get taken down to two.
I peel off the top and find… Leonin Skyhunter.
Well, that will give me one more turn to find an answer.
Unfortunately, Trapper’s next draw is Shizo, Death’s Storehouse, and that’s all she wrote.
At least I kept it kind of close, and can rest better in the knowledge that I won’t have to face Flores Blue unless we both make the Top Eight.
Still, one does not like being put in win-or-go-home position this early.
Round 3: Samuel Lambson (R/G)
Not much to report here. I barely saw any of this guy’s deck. Game one, he drops nothing but Mountains and Kird Apes, and monkeys need Forests to go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Game two, Isamaru and a Paladin en-Vec go the distance as I draw three Lightning Helixes to kill any creature that he plays.
Round 4: Jesse Pitz (WW/r)
Surprise, surprise, another mirror match. Our decks do seem to be slightly different. I finally win a die roll and open with Isamaru, Jesse has Savannah Lions. I answer with Hand of Honor, he has Samurai of the Pale Curtain.
We trade creatures for a while, then play the lets-destroy-each-other’s-Jitte not once but twice. I’m drawing more burn, though (hooray, Shock), and they help me pull ahead a bit. Amazingly, a second Isamaru goes the distance, as I’m able to back him up with my Eiganjo Castle and he can’t burn it out or block it effectively.
That is the first time in about a bajillion games that Eiganjo Castle ever turned out to be a factor. But that’s why I put it in.
Game two, the Paladin tech turns out to be pretty good once again, as Jesse gets a much better start in the creature race, but a pro-Red first striker staunches the beats pretty good. I’ve got a Lantern Kami beating down slowly – very slowly – but surely while the rest of red zone engages in a staring contest. Just when it looks like I’m about to turn the tide and go on offense, down comes Eight-and-a-Half-Tails on the other side of the table.
Fortunately, though, I play with retarded cards, and I peel a Jitte off the top and in combination with my fliers, enables me to punch through enough damage for the win.
Live by the Jitte, die by the Jitte. It may win me games, but if it gets banned in a couple of months, I won’t cry one bit.
Round 5: Steve Canty (Gifts)
Double nuts. I get paired up against one of the undefeated players, and I don’t like the Gifts matchup that much, at least, not before sideboarding. Idiot Dave here also fails to think to perhaps offer the draw to Mr. Undefeated, hopefully working a better matchup in the final round. I manage to get some early flying beats in, but sure enough, here comes the Gifts, and I have the wonderful choice between Kagemaro, Goryo’s Vengeance, Recollect and Kokusho.
Tough call. I give him the creatures and put the reanimation spells in grumper. Next turn, though, that does leave me with a Kokusho to deal with.
Was it the right call? Who knows. Two turns later, Steve Gifts again for Gleancrawler, Meloku and two reanimation spells, and I see the writing on the wall and scoop.
But holy guacamole, do I get the nuts or what in the second game. Turn 2 Hand of Honor, turn 3 Paladin, turn 4 Pithing Needle on Top, turn 5 Glorious Anthem to get my guys out of Hideous Laughter range, then my lone Char on turn 6 to knock Meloku out of the skies and swing for the win.
At that point, I decide to re-offer the draw, and Steve accepts. Why not play on after that savage beating? Because a) I’d be on the draw, not the play, and b) the odds of me getting another God-draw like that aren’t as good as I think they are.
Basically, with my tiebreaks after this match, a win insures a Top 8, and the rest of the upper tables seem to be filled with WW and other decks I know I can beat – just so long as I don’t run into Mike Goodman’s anti-metagame special, with Wildfire, Silklash Spider and Arashi, the Sky Asunder – all main deck.
Lordy, that’s some hate.
Round 6: Daniel Gardner (B/G)
Daniel is a young’un, around 14 or so by my guess, and has his own fan club. What, no one to sweat me? I’m lovable, really. Me write funny words! Sometimes funny, at least. He’s running B/G, and is very nervous. The winner of this match is in, the loser goes home with some lovely parting gifts.
Game one, I’m forced to mulligan down to a two-land hand – no Red, either – and never find another land to go with the Helix and Legionnaire I’m holding. Yeah, Kagemaro and a Hyppie beat the crap out of me there.
After sideboarding, (in comes Hokori and Paladins, out go a few random scrubs), I run into the removal suite from Hell. Every creature I drop for eight turns dies, either to Cruel Edict, Sickening Shoal or Hideous Laughter. Criminy! To say I was getting annoyed would be a mild understatement.
Eventually, though, I get a Paladin to stick when Daniel finally runs out of gas and a Jitte makes everything academic. Hooray retarded cards!
So this is what it comes down to. One game for all the marbles. The pin. The playmat. A shot at the plaque. And a year’s supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat!
My opening hand is decent, with a Shock, Paladin, Glorious Anthem, Hand of Honor and three lands. I play a Sacred Foundry, untap it, take two, and say go. Why do that? In case he has Birds…which, whaddya know, he does! I burn it out EOT and look pretty smart, for once.
Unfortunately, I then run into not one, not two, but three, yes, three Cruel Edicts, and a Naturalize for my Glorious Anthem, which keep me from generating any offense, and Daniel draws into a Kokusho and a Jitte to go with it.
Again, this might have been a mistake, but I choose to send two burn spells at the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy instead of letting him charge up the Jitte, hoping to topdeck one of my own. Later, I was told his next draw was another Kokusho, and I might have been able to trick him into playing both for the double-whammy win, then Helixing in response to stay at two life.
But I didn’t know that, and couldn’t have counted on it, so I think my decision was the correct one.
Unfortunately, it’s all academic after that. Dragon #2 comes out shortly thereafter, and I draw no Jitte nor any other answer for the Dragon, and that puts Daniel into the Top 8.
Don Pardo, tell me what I’ve won.
Absolutely nothing, Dave! Zip, zero, zilch, de nada! If anything, you’ve brought shame and humiliation to your family name for generations to come!
Well, bah! 3-2-1 was not what I was hoping for, but I can’t say I’m surprised at the final result, given my lack on confidence in the deck.
Another year, another near miss at a Top 8. One of these years…one of the years I’m finally going to break through. I’ll get that plaque yet! And your little dog, too! Muahahaha!
Still, I wonder if my lack of faith in the deck was justified. It seems to have done fairly decently at other tournaments despite the fact everyone was ready for it.
Can White Lightning contend in the new Standard, or did it have a mayfly’s lifespan atop the Tier 1 heap?
That sounds like an interesting idea for another article.