{From Right Field is a column for Magic players on a budget or players who don’t want to play netdecks. The decks are designed to let the budget-conscious player be competitive in local, Saturday tournaments. They are not decks that will qualify a player for The Pro Tour. As such, the decks written about in this column are, almost by necessity, rogue decks. They contain, at most, eight to twelve rares. When they do contain rares, those cards will either be cheap rares or staples of which new players should be trying to collect a set of four, such as Wildfire, Llanowar Wastes, or Birds of Paradise. The decks are also tested by the author, who isn’t very good at playing Magic. His playtest partners, however, are excellent. He will never claim that a deck has an 85% winning percentage against the entire field. He will also let you know when the decks are just plain lousy. Readers should never consider these decks “set in stone” or “done.” If you think you can change some cards to make them better, well, you probably can, and the author encourages you to do so.}
Do you know what’s really cool? When something that you do for gits and shiggles actually works out well. Perfect example: when I was a freshman in college – ah, my freshman year in New Orleans; what a wonderful life – there was a girl in our dorm who was cuter than a monkey holding a puppy and whom I’ll call Jessica. Jess was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed cheerleader from Texas, and she looked exactly like you’d expect a blonde-haired, blue-eyed cheerleader from Texas to look. Pony-tail. Bangs. Large chest. Muscular legs. Callipygian. Her eyes sparkled. Her laugh was infectious. Her smile could power a small Nebraska town through a long, hard winter. (Long. Hard. Heh.)
Yet, no one asked her out because they figured they didn’t stand a chance. One day, tired of hearing all of the guys talking about what they’d like to do with her while also doing nothing about it, I decided I’d ask her out.
Worst case scenario: she’d say no, but I’d be known as one gutsy dude.
Best case scenario: she’d say yes.
She said yes, and my rep was made. I became known, as one guy put it (I kid you not; this is exactly what he said to one of Jess’s friends) the guy “who can sway women with words.” Whatever.
Flash forward twenty-one years, and I’m married to a raven-haired version of Jess, sans ponytail. One night, just a couple of weeks or so ago, I’m talking with some of the Magic gang about building a mono-Green beatdown deck for Standard.
“It can’t be done,” someone says.
“Why not?” I ask. “All the tools are there. It can deal with annoying artifacts. It can remove fliers. It can make very big Tramplers very quickly.”
“It’ll run out of steam. You’ll either start drawing spells when you want creatures, or you’ll get land, land, land. You’ll have to add a second color for card drawing.”
“Yeah, add Blue. Heck, even Black for Phyrexian Arena.”
I shake my head. “I’ve already done the Green-and-Black-with-Arena thing. I don’t think I need Blue or Black. And I can make sure I never draw a spell when I don’t need it.”
“How can you do that? No spells means no Sensei’s Divining Top, either.”
“Simple,” I say. “I won’t run anything but creatures. Pure. Unadulterated. Texas-cheerleader beatdown.”
“Huh?”
“Just . . . nothing. Shut up. I’m gonna make a mono-Green, nuthin’-but-critters beatdown deck, and it’s gonna work.”
Why do I do this to myself?
Okay, I do it because I enjoy it. Besides, I’d had this idea going for while about using Carven Caryatid and Stampeding Serow together in a deck. Yeah, I know. Just about as original as Wall of Blossoms and Stampeding Wildebeests. Yet it seemed that no one was doing it. Heck, when I mentioned it right after MagictheGathering.com revealed that new Wall (yes, it is) during the Ravnica preview weeks, I was bitch-slapped.
“It’s too slow.”
It’s a freakin’ Wall! Of course it’s slow.
For me, though, it was sure to be great fun. You see, I wasn’t playing at the time that Wall of Blossoms and Stampeding Wildebeests were Standard legal. I do know, though, that drawing cards is A Good Thing.
Section to Skip if Yer a Pro Tour Playa
There’s a reason that a creature like Stampeding Serow is so good, and, frankly, I’m shocked he doesn’t show up more. The Serow is a 5/4 trampler for four mana. That’s over-the-top wicked good. His “drawback,” of course, is that you must return a Green creature – not just any creature, but a Green one – during your upkeep. If he’s the only Greenie on board, back he comes.
How’s that a drawback? Just make sure you have either (a) a creature with a comes-into-play or leaves-play ability to return to your hand or (b) just some creature that you don’t mind returning to your hand. This is why he’s so much better with the Caryatid. They fit the mana curve so well…
“She’s a three mana wall. He’s a four mana beast,” says the emcee. “Let’s meet this amazing couple!” –
It’s almost as if…
*gasp*
…they were made for each other.
Of course, I’m sure they weren’t. I’ll bet that the idea of a third- (or second-) turn Caryatid followed by a fourth- (or third-) turn Serow never came up. Yeah, and I can’t get Nadine Velazquez to stop calling me.
Of course, if I was going to do this, I needed mana acceleration. Four Llanowar Elves and four Sakura-Tribe Elders seemed like a good start. It just wasn’t enough. I will admit that, at first, I had three Birds of Paradise in here. If you have ’em, smoke ’em. However, they came out in the later versions (replaced by Elves of Deep Shadow) because the rare count was getting up there thanks to some of the bigger critters.
For example, I threw in a complete four-of set of Gleancrawlers.
That’s right. Gleancrawler in a mono-Green deck. I guess I’m just cray-zay like that. Why does that strike people as so unusual when I mention it? Why do I get yelled at in drafts for taking Gaze of the Gorgon or Gleancrawler when I’m G/R or G/W? (“I was in B/G hard, dude. That shoulda been mine.”) I think it’s because the hybrid B/G mana makes people think of Gleancrawler as a creature for a Black and Green deck. Sure, it can – and maybe even should – be in B/G decks, but it can be cast as mono-Green. (It can also be cast as mono-Black, but that isn’t relevant to our current discussion. Maybe later when I look at Nantuko Husk again.)
Do you know what that puppy does in a mono-Green deck? It allows you to be even more reckless than usual. Look at what it does. Anything that hits your ‘yard during your turn comes back to your hand at the end of your turn. Worried about losing someone when you swing? Who cares?!? Swing away. You might want to leave the Gleancrawler back or protect it in some way, though.
What?
“Protect it”?
Isn’t this a creatures-only deck?
Yup.
Let me reintroduce Shinen of Life’s Roar, also known as “Oh, crap; I forgot about him.”
Shinen of Life’s Roar is still one of my favorite Channel cards. I can use it to kill an annoying creature by forcing it to block something that can kill it. I can protect something I want to keep, like Gleancrawler, by making sure that some other creature gets blocked instead. And, of course, I can end a stalemate by “casting” the uncounterable, non-Naturalizable Lure. Yup, Channeling is fine.
Speaking of Channeling, yes, I have some Arashis in here. I think it’s required when StarCity writers make Green decks. Funny story. Well, not so funny as humorous. Which means it’s funny but without laughing out loud. I was talking with another writer about this deck when he asked, “Hey, does Flores get royalties off of the sale of Arashis?”
“Um, I don’t think so. Why would you ask that?”
“Because he’s pimping yet another deck with Arashi in it. Plus, the price has shot up since he started talking about it.”
“Yeah, I see your point,” I said. “Still, I think it’s really because it’s such a good card if you’re playing Green.”
The truth is Arashi is a truly amazing card. Disregarding the abilities, it’s a 5/5 for five mana. Not as disturbing as the Serow’s numbers but quite efficient. Add on that he can kill a flier when he’s on board, and he just broke through to being amazing. Now, consider that, when he’s in your hand, he can be used to kill every flier on board and that can’t be countered. All of a sudden, what with all of the White Weenie fliers and Meloku-spawned tokens out there, he’s just unfair. “Better make him a Legend,” you can hear the Wizards folks saying. Yup, wouldn’t want him to get out of hand.
The deck didn’t get out of control, though, until I replaced Rootbreaker Wurm with another card. Before I move onto the new guy, let me talk up Rootbreaker Wurm. There aren’t too many other uncommon creatures that beat this guy out for a roster spot. He’s a 6/6 with Trample for seven mana. In fact, the guy that beat him out for the team wasn’t an uncommon.
Yeah, I’m about to max out on rares. First, though, let me take you back to a draft I was in right before I started on this deck. Ravnica draft has been much, much better to me than any Kamigawa block drafts. I can’t explain it. I just “get it” better. So, I’m drafting G/W. Most people think this is a bad set of colors because of lack of removal. Not when you get two Devouring Light and two Gaze of the Gorgon, it’s not. My MVP that night, though – the card that got me to the finals, which I lost to a B/R deck with more removal than Paris Hilton has {censored for lack of good taste, but you can imagine what it might be} – was Primordial Sage.
Holy unnecessary superlatives!
I get to draw a card when I cast a creature spell? In a Green deck?! That’s like allowing Blue to draw a card when it casts an instant. That’s like allowing Black to draw a card when it kills a creature. That’s like allowing White to draw a card when it casts a completely useless late-game weenie. It’s just ludicrous.
Now, ludicrous is one thing. Then, there’s just plain wrong. This is where I get to see if I understand Magic theory. There’s this thing that Flores called Velocity or some such physics thing. This is not to be confused with momentum which is mass times velocity. Velocity is speed with a directional component and is independent of mass, which is good for me since I haven’t gone to mass is years. Mea culpa. In essence, MFV (a.k.a. Mike Flores‘ Velocity) says something like a deck that moves more does more and has more options, so it’s better. Or maybe it doesn’t say that. I just keep thinking about all of those three-card Monte games I won in New Orleans. The more the cards moved, the more I took in. Anyway, look at this kind-of-stupid-wrong series of plays.
Thanks to nothing more than a first turn Llanowar Elves, I was able to get a second-turn Carven Caryatid. That put a halt to the shenanigans on the ground. It also drew me a card. On my next turn, I cast a Stampeding Serow. I read on a bathroom wall that third-turn 5/4 Tramplers were good. At least I think that’s what it said. It was kinda smudged, but the numbers three, five, and four were definitely in there. On turn four, I brought back the Caryatid, drew my card for the turn, played a land, recast the Caryatid, drew another card, and waited. Turn five saw me return the Caryatid again, drop a land, swing, and play a Primordial Sage.
On turns 6, 7, and 8, I drew three cards per turn thanks to being able to recast the Caryatid.
Three.
Cards.
Per.
Turn.
That’s three times more than the other guy was drawing.
“But that means the deck was taking too long to develop.”
Huh? Did you not see the thing about the Serow on turn 3? I was just having fun beyond that point. I had simply decided to see if I could draw into a Shinen of Life’s Roar and alpha strike.
I did.
So, here’s the deck:
Flores’ Royalty Check
23 Lands
21 Forest
2 Quicksand
37 Creatures
4 Llanowar Elves
3 Elves of Deep Shadow
4 Sakura-Tribe Elder
3 Shinen of Life’s Roar
4 Carven Caryatid
4 Viridian Shaman
4 Stampeding Serow
3 Arashi, Sky Asunder
4 Primordial Sage
4 Gleancrawler
Yes, there are eleven rares. None of them are very expensive. In fact, I will go so far as to say that anyone who likes playing Green should have four of each of these rares in their collection. I’ve mentioned why they’re so good already. Let me also add that you should get four of each because I said so. They are just that good.
“How good are they?”
Thanks for playing along.
They’re so good that I have lost only a single game in the Casual Decks room on MTGO. That game was against a nicely-built U/B Ninja deck that featured Dimir Infiltrator to enable the Ninjas as well as Umezawa’s Jitte, which wouldn’t have been a problem if all four of my freakin’ Viridian freakin’ Shamans hadn’t been in the last ten freakin’ cards of the deck. Excuse me. I get a bit upset when I think of that game. Jitte isn’t usually a problem for this deck. In fact, in the second game I played with FRC, I faced a White Weenie deck that had Jitte and had it often. His only problem was that I was able to cast the same Viridian Shaman four times in one game, thanks to the Serow.
I love Stampeding Serow. I wonder if I can get one as a pet. Do you think they sell them in Vietnam or Cambodia or something? I should Google that.
Of course, now that the thing is umpteen-and-one in the Casual Room, the little hamster-powered wheels have started turning in my mind: can this deck compete on a tournament level?
Remember, “compete” in Right Field simply means “win more than it loses.” It doesn’t have to win a PTQ or anything.
Digression Alert!
Speaking of winning a PTQ or anything, John F. Rizzo predicts that I will enter and win a PTQ. Presumably he means “someday” and not “in 2006.” Either way, I think he’s wrong, but I can’t tell him that. He thinks so highly of me. Or he thinks of me only when he’s high. Either or.
Another reader, Edd Black – yes, the Edd Black – “took umbrage” at me saying that I was the only person pimping Hondens to the masses. Uh-huh, he really used the words “took umbrage.” I had to look that up. I thought you took umbrage to keep your colon cleaned out. Turns out that stuff is actually called “roughage,” although I find that, as I near 40-years-old, I need more smoothage than roughage. Anyway, Edd pointed to his PTQ successes with Hondens (multiple Top 8’s) and the article he wrote on the Hondens in July of 2005. I countered with the fact that I had written a piece six months to the day before his appeared and that I had mentioned the deck as PTQ-worthy numerous times after that. The discussion came down to what you considered “pimping” a deck. I felt that my multiple mentions of the deck made me the pimp-daddy, while Edd felt that his actual “success” with Hondens made him the true hoormonger. I called him a poopyhead, and that was that.
…
So, into the Tournament Practice Room I headed. I started off against two different MUC and/or Flores Blue decks. Thanks to a sideboard that included two Trophy Hunters, I won both, though in three games. I later faced a third, and lost in three games. I’m not going over any of those matches. Why? Because it’s always the same thing. We fight for control of the board. He finally has to drop some flier, Meloku or Keiga. I Channel Arashi and win. Either that, or we fight for control of the board, my hand is empty, he drops the flier, and I lose.
Next up, the aforementioned double-D Black with Warp World. I wanna start calling this deck Maria so that I can ask the question, “How do you solve a problem like Maria?” The only way I could win this was to attack as quickly and as forcefully as possible. Mr. Black put quite a hurtin’ on my mono-Green monstrosity, winning in two games.
I also faced a Mono-Black Control deck. (Memo to Edd: MBC does seem viable and good.) Against the MBC deck, the card drawing and the Gleancrawler came up large and in charge. This was another three-game match. Again, though, FRC came out on top.
The two toughest matches, other than the Warp World stupidity, were against mono-Red decks. With way too many burn spells that could kill off the weenie Elves, I never accelerated any mana. The Caryatid did a good job of stopping up the middle (a la Brian Urlacher), but I was overwhelmed in two quick games both times. Essentially, the games went:
Burn an Elf;
Burn an Elf, cast a weenie;
Burn something else, cast a weenie;
More weenies; and
Burn at my head when the ground stall started.
You probably want to see the sideboard now, doncha?
4 Trophy Hunter
4 Junktroller
4 Nullmage Shepherd
3 Elvish Champion
I tried keeping the sideboard as nuthin’-but-critters, too. It looks good. We have more enchantment and artifact kill in the Shepherd. We have more flier kill in the Trophy Hunter. Junktroller helps against those decks that recur and Dredge stuff. And, of course, Elvish Champion is for the mirror match. Okay, well, not the mirror match, which probably will never happen, but against another deck running a lot of Forests. Heck, even Forest Swamps or Forest Plains. Just not Forrest Gumps. Yes, I know that the Elvish Champion is a rare. Again, it’s another cheap rare. If you don’t want to use it, don’t. In fact, given my less than stellar performance against mono-Red, you may even want a spell like Giant Growth. Seriously.
How to Play the Deck
Cast creatures.
Swing.
Channel Arashi or Shinen of Life’s Roar if necessary.
Swing.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. (If necessary.)
As usual, you’ve been a great audience. Next week, you’re in for a special treat as the “official” Magic: The Gathering budget deck guy, Jay Moldyham-Saladbar, and I write articles on his Building on a Budget Smackdown! II, each from our own perspective. Should things turn out right, both will hit our respective (and respectful) web sites on Monday, January 16th. Neat way to break in the new editor, doncha think? You have been warned.
Chris Romeo
CBRomeo-at-Travelers-dot-com