Yeah, I’m back. For the time being, anyway. As long as I can be funny and write about cheap, good decks, I have a job. Good for me. Good for you. Bad for good writing.
Last week, I wrote about a deck that featured Vengeful Dead. It was loads of fun, cheap, and won me some swag, $6.58 worth of cards, to be exact. Whenever I cover the cost of entering the tourney, I feel good.
The next week, Karl and I were discussing another deck that featured Black. I was telling him how well the deck had done. In his best Han Solo impersonation, he said,”Great kid! Don’t get cocky.” Man, I get no respect. Then again, whaddya expect when your rating hovers around 1600 all the time?
He, of course, being a highly-rated player, wanted to see if we could tune and tweak the deck. Me, being easily distracted, said,”Oooooo, butterflies,” and wandered off to sit in a snow bank. That is the final time I ever mix tequila with cold medicine, I tell you what.
I was, however, itching for a new deck. We had sprung the Vengeful Dead deck on the local gang like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie were sprung on Arkansas. And when I say”sprung,” man, do I mean . . . . Aw, forget it. That’s too easy. Anyway, I figured I’d let whoever wanted to tune the thing do their best with it. It was time for me to move on.
Karl, meanwhile, had been pondering one of his favorite Onslaught cards: Threaten. The ability to just take the other guy’s best creature (unless it’s Akroma or Silver Knight) and bash him in the face with it is Karl’s idea of fun.”Wow, look at that really good creature. Mind if I use it to win the match? You do? Too bad.” We had been talking about how to complement that card. Not how to”compliment” the card, which would be like,”My, you are such a cute card. No, really, you are.”
What we wanted was to find other cards that worked well with Threaten. Sure, you can take the guy’s creature. Unless you win the game, though, he gets it right back. Often, that doesn’t matter. You’ve just dropped your opponent from twenty to twelve in one swing. However, when it’s a creature like Exalted Angel, which gains that life back, it’s purely a stopgap measure. We wanted a way to dispose of the thing, too, if the game wasn’t over after Threaten went off.
Of course, we headed right back down the yellow-brick road to my old stomping grounds in Louisiana. Yep, we headed to the Swamps. Looking down bayou way gave us access to creatures that allowed us to sacrifice that stolen critter. We had Carrion Feeder, Nantuko Husk, Fallen Angel, and Phyrexian Plaguelord. (Thank you, 8th Edition!) The great thing about those last two was that, while they’re rares, they’re rares that are cheap. Not cheap like a truck stop floozy. I mean, inexpensive to purchase. Like a truck stop floozy! [Chris speaks from experience here. – Knut] In addition, they have both been reprinted. In the case of Fallen Angel, she’s been reprinted several times. Like a truck stop floozy! I think I may be riding that one too much. (Like a truck stop floozy!)
Then, something wonderful happened. Not as wonderful as the Grinch’s heart growing three sizes in one day, but nearly as good. Wizards dropped Mirrodin on us. That wonderful, wacky, Mirrodin with the wonderful, wacky Grab the Reins. (Just so youse guys know, this was well before the Grab the Reins/Wall of Blood deck showed up on MagictheGathering.com. We wouldn’t try to steal their thunder. Much. In either case, that li’l mini-combo has been floating around for a while. Still, it’s a suh-weet play.)
To top this all off, Karl wanted to use Custody Battle in the deck, too. Oh, why the heck not? Yet another way to steal critters. If you’re gonna sell out, sell all the way out. Am I right or what, Jon Bon Jovi? Karl dreamed of this scenario:
Turn 1: I Drop Carrion Feeder.
Turn 2: I Play Custody Battle on my opponent’s only creature. Since there is no way she’s going to sacrifice a land that early, I get the creature during her upkeep.
Turn 3: During her upkeep, with the Custody Battle’s ability on the stack, I sac her creature to the Feeder.
Turn 4: Nicole Kidman showers me with kisses after leaving Lenny Kravitz.
Hey, I said it was a dream!
Even with all of that creature control, it still didn’t seem like we had enough. We wanted something that killed critters dead just in case. Luckily, we could reach back for our old friend Nekrataal. Granted, he can’t kill Myr Enforcers, Withered Wretches, or that nasty rash that the truck stop floozy gave you (uh-huh, I went back there!), but he offs a bunch of Big Uglies, as Keith Jackson calls them. Along with the Red theft spells, that seemed like plenty.
For our final touch, we went with two Persecutes and two Reaping the Graves. I went over these in depth last time, so no need to do that again. Hey, that was punny. Reaping the”Graves.””In depth.” Man, I’m on fire!
The biggest mistake we made was the amount of mana. We thought that twenty-three would be enough. given that only a couple of the spells in the deck cost over four mana. The problem was that those spells, Fallen Angel and Phyrexian Plaguelord, were fairly important. In addition, I should have been able to play Grab the Reins with Entwine more than I did. Here’s what we ended up with.
Deck – Gimme That!
23 Lands
4 Urborg Volcano
4 Bloodstained Mire
4 Swamp
6 Mountain
1 Barren Moor
1 Forgotten Cave
2 Vault of Whispers
1 Unholy Grotto
21 Creatures
4 Carrion Feeder
4 Nantuko Husk
4 Rotlung Reanimator
4 Nekrataal
2 Fallen Angel
3 Phyrexian Plaguelord
16 Other Spells
4 Custody Battle
4 Threaten
4 Grab the Reins
2 Reaping the Graves
2 Persecute
15 Sideboard
2 Persecute
4 Infest
4 Flashfires
4 Scrabbling Claws
1 Reaping the Graves
Given what we learned from the tournament, I would definitely add another Swamp. Then, I’d drop the Plaguelords entirely and go with four Fallen Angels.
Cost-Cutting Moves for the Cheap and the Homeless:
If you’re trying to keep costs down, you can drop the Bloodstained Mires for two each of Vault of Whispers and Mountain. Again, though, I urge you to get four of any of the Onslaught Fetchlands that match the colors that you use.
You could also drop the Rotlung Reanimator. Once again, I can’t recommend this. He has great synergy with all of the sacrificing going on. Imagine needing to kill your opponent this turn because he just tapped out to cast a Siege-Gang Commander. If he gets to untap, he can attack and then start throwing Goblins at you. If that happens, you’re gonna die! You have a Fallen Angel and a Rotlung Reanimator. He’s at seven with nothing to block fliers. No problemo. Sac the Rotlung to the Angel. Then, sac the Zombie he makes to the Angel. The Angel flies over for seven. You win! Hooters girls flock to your side! The champagne flies! Woo-Hoo!
If you just don’t have Rotlungs, though, Festering Goblin makes a nice replacement, and it lowers the mana curve. If a lot of people in your area bring stuff back from the graveyard, then, use Withered Wretch. If you really want to play Zombies, though, you have to invest in Rotlungs.
I was pleasantly surprised by the results at the tourney and what I learned, which I’ll get to later. The card that I thought would be one of the strongest was the Plaguelord. The ability to combine taking the other guy’s creatures with the ability to kill yet another creature is huge. I envisioned stealing a Clickslither with a Threaten. Then, I could use the Plaguelord’s ability, sacrificing the Clickslither, to off some random X/1 creature like a Goblin Sledder. That turned out not to happen too much. Actually, it didn’t happen at all. I rarely even cast the Plaguelord. The couple of times I did, he was less than useful. I still can’t put my finger on it, but it may have been the fact that he comes out so late. The game was usually won or lost by then.
Much bigger was the Angel’s ability to fly. My favorite play of the day was when I stole my opponent’s Eternal Dragon with Threaten and swung with the Fallen Angel and the Dragon. Then, I chucked the Dragon to the Angel. I followed that with a Grab the Reins, Flinging the Angel at my opponent. That’s thirteen points of damage folks. Ouch.
The entirety of my testing with this deck was the tournament itself. I never even had the time to play this with our ragtag Apple Dumplin’ gang. Karl and I did our theorizing, talked about sideboarding, and that was it. So, I packed up the cards and headed to the store to put my five dollars on the line with my untested deck. This time, however, I lost my Top 8 match to an Affinity deck that was running way too many counters.
A Note to Bobby, Who Played the Affinity Deck
I know you’re young and get easily excited. I remember those days. I had one last week, as a matter of fact. Someone sent me a picture of Naomi Watts in tight sweater. Yes, easily excited is a good way to put it. However, some folks would consider it bad sportsmanship to yell across the room to your friends,”Dude! I removed another Rotlung from the game with Assert Authority! That’s the third time today! Woo-hoo!” More violent types might reach over and smack someone who did that. I’m not violent, so I didn’t do anything. I probably should have at least said something to you, but I was too busy trying to figure out how to kill that Broodstar. Anyway, you might want to tone it down a bit.
Yours truly,
Chris
Unlike last week, I did keep my notes from that week’s tourney. You’re so lucky to have me, you know that?
Obligatory Tournament Report
Round 1: I sat down across from someone I had never seen before. He was playing a rogue Blue-Red deck. Essentially, he tried to counter a few things, burn some stuff out, and drop a big creature. The problem for him was that, with so few creatures, he left me with tons of ways to deal with the couple he did have. When he finally dropped the Mahamoti Djinn, I had Nekrataal, Threaten, and Grab the Reins in hand. He didn’t have enough counters to keep the Fat Flier alive. For the second game, I took out two Plaguelords for two Persecutes. He tapped out on turn 4 for a Concentrate. That left me able to cast Persecute and call Blue. It was all over after that.
Round 2: Great. Goblins. This was the one I worried most about playing correctly. Carrion Feeder can’t block. That makes him a less-than-ideal turn 1 play against Goblins. Luckily, Custody Battle’s ability triggers at the beginning of the upkeep. So, there’s no chance to lay, say, a Goblin Sledder and sac the creature with the Custody Battle on it. Anyway, I got a wonderful draw. He went first and dropped a Skirk Prospector. I dropped a Feeder.
He made a Warchief on his turn and swung for 2. I dropped Custody Battle onto it. With only two lands in play, there was no way he was going to sac a land to keep it. So, he let me have it during his third upkeep. Then, he made a sad, lonely Goblin Piledriver and another Prospector. At the beginning of my upkeep, I sac’d the Warchief to make my Feeder bigger. Then, I Threatened his Piledriver. He must have been demoralized because he didn’t sac it to the Prospector. He just let me have it. I swung for three. He didn’t block. Then, I pitched the Piledriver to the Feeder, which was now a 3/3.
It didn’t get any better for him. He drew a land and dropped another Warchief. I dropped Nekrataal, killing the Chief, and swung with the Feeder. Nekrataal holds off almost everything that attacks for Goblins. (I know,”except for Clickslither.”) It doesn’t matter how big a Piledriver is when it attacks. It still dies to that 2/1 first striker. By the time he finally got the Siege-Gang Commander, it was too late. I had taken or killed everything. I just needed to find Grab the Reins for my now heinously large Carrion Feeder. I did.
In game 2, I brought in the four Infests for the two Persecutes and two Plaguelords. (I see a pattern here.) Not only did he get stuck on two lands (which would have been three if he hadn’t stubbornly tried to keep a Warchief with a Custody Battle on it), but I was able to get a Fallen Angel up and flying. There was nothing he could do, since she doesn’t die to Shock, and he couldn’t get enough mana for the Siege-Gang Commander.
Oh, wow, look at that. Someone else gets mana hosed for a change, and it helps me. Must be my day.
Round 3: Against U/W Control, I was kind of stuck for answers. The Eternal Dragon doesn’t hurt early and I can steal him late. What could I do about all of those Soldiers, though? The answer is: I died. This ended up being a close match. It went to three games. I took out the Custody Battles for the four Flashfires while I took out two Plaguelords for the other two Persecutes in the final two games. The reasoning was that Custody Battle does nothing early since they have no creatures. When they finally get critters, they can afford to lose a land. Better to wreck their hand and most of their mana.
Games 1 and 2 were tight. He won game 1 with lots of countermagic and Decree of Justice that he actually got to cast for four Angels. I got a Persecute to hit White in game two and won from there. (That was the game with the thirteen point turn after stealing the Eternal Dragon.) Game 3 was all his, no problem. I went down to six cards while he kept gas. Brazenly, he played an Angel face down on turn 3. It was as if he knew I didn’t have an answer and wouldn’t draw one. He was right. It went all the way. I couldn’t Threaten it or cast Nekrataal. Or rather, once I could, he said,”I don’t think so.” The end.
Round 4: My loss to the U/W Control deck meant that I had the privilege of playing a Mono-White Control deck. That’s kind of like getting to marry the second-most attractive member of Roseanne Barr’s family. The good thing is that MWC doesn’t have countermagic like U/W Control does. So, I can do whatever the heck I please. And when I please, she stays pleased, if you know what I mean. [Truck-stop women are easy like that. – Knut]
Luckily, the deck did what it was supposed to in games 1 and 3. In game 1, I took everything that he made that was of any consequence. I was a bit mana short in game 2. You’d think four would be enough, but the 2 Fallen Angels mocking me at the end were testament to the fallacy of that belief. Game 3 was won by Persecute on turn 4 and Flashfires on turn 5. By the time he got his mana back to a reasonable position, it was too late.
Round 5: Ooooo, a Zombie deck. This ought to be fun. Nekrataal is useless except as a 2/1, first striking blocker. That’s not to be sneezed at. It does block and kill most of the Zombies. As luck would have it, I had Persecute in my opening hand. I played Urborg Volcano. He followed with Dark Supplicant. I played Urborg Volcano. He dropped Withered Wretch. I dropped a Rotlung. So, did he. Sadly, we all know what that means. Yup. Here comes the Scion. On my fourth turn, I cast Persecute and emptied his hand of Undead Warchief and two Scions of Darkness. Yes, not one, but two.”Oh, this is gonna be good,” was all I could think. At the end of my turn, he popped off the Supplicant, leaving him with three Zombies and a Scion and me with three Zombies and a Rotlung.
On his turn, he played a land and attacked with the Scion and company. I blocked Zombie token on Zombie token and took the Scion since I had nothing in my yard. On my turn, I dropped a Feeder and Threatened his Scion. I hit him and took the other Scion in his ‘yard. Then, my Feeder ate the first Scion. At this point, I was trying not to have a Schick-eating grin on my face, but it was so hard not to. If he couldn’t deal with the Scion that I stole, I’d get his other one on the next turn. He saw this and folded.
In game 2, the Scion trick worked very well for him, and I was dead before I knew what hit me. I had taken out the four Nekrataals for the other two Persecutes, the third Reaping the Graves, and Scrabbling Claws. In game 3, things worked out well. I didn’t get a turn 1 Feeder, but I did get a turn 2 Custody Battle on his Supplicant. He gave the Supplicant back to me. I got a Nantuko Husk. I got the Supplicant back, and the Husk ate it. Persecute came home to roost, and that was game as I followed up at some point with Rotlung and Fallen Angel.
Things I Learned from Playing the Tourney:
• Infest was most assuredly better than Pyroclasm. I am so glad I used it. It kills Silver Knight dead. Pyroclasm doesn’t. Infest also kills Troll Ascetic while Pyroclasm won’t it they have regeneration mana up.
• As expected, Persecute is huge against Mono-White Control. Being able to rip all those cards out of their hands is a lot of fun. Against U/W Control, Persecute early usually means Mana Leak, though.
• Nekrataal can’t kill Myr Enforcer. Don’t even try.
• Stealing Broodstar when you control no artifacts means it dies as a state-based effect due to its toughness being zero.
• Persecute is huge against any mono-colored deck, actually.
Essentially, all the matches felt the same when I was playing against the aggressive creature decks. I’d lay out a creature. They’d lay out a creature. I’d steal it or play Custody Battle on it. If they didn’t sac a land to keep a creature wearing the Custody Battle, when I got it, their creature would get eaten by Carrion Feeder, Nantuko Husk, or the Angel. Later in the game, I’d Threaten or Grab stuff. Even later, I’d play Grab the Reins with Entwine, and that was that.
Okay, okay. I know that’s not terribly exciting. Sorry. That’s how the deck played. I can tell you that it was indeed a blast. Short of countermagic, Akroma’s Blessing, Razor Barrier, or their own sacrificing ability, there was nothing they could do concerning the theft spells. With twelve of twenty creatures able to eat their creature, that almost assures you of being able to control the board.
Clearly, though, U/W Control is a problem for the deck. Affinity doesn’t really seem to be, regardless of the outcome of my match. Had I played smarter against Affinity, I should have won. He was using so much countermagic that I don’t think he had room for Lightning Greaves as his protective measure for the Broodstar. That should leave plenty of room for Nekrataal and the theft spells to do their thing. It just didn’t turn out that way in my match.
I hope you have fun with this one. I know that it has a few rares in it. However, as I’ve said twice now, they are ones that you need to have if you’re planning on playing Black and/or Red in tournaments. You can make it go without them, though, as long as you invest in the one rare that really makes the deck hum, Fallen Angel. To recap, here’s how I’d play the deck this week:
Deck – Gimme That!
24 Lands
4 Urborg Volcano
4 Bloodstained Mire
5 Swamp
4 Mountain
1 Barren Moor
1 Forgotten Cave
4 Vault of Whispers
1 Unholy Grotto
20 Creatures
4 Carrion Feeder
4 Nantuko Husk
4 Rotlung Reanimator
4 Nekrataal
4 Fallen Angel
16 Other Spells
4 Custody Battle
4 Threaten
4 Grab the Reins
2 Reaping the Graves
2 Persecute
15 Sideboard
2 Persecute
4 Infest
4 Flashfires
4 Scrabbling Claws
1 Reaping the Graves
The”lite” version would look like this:
Deck – Gimme That! (Lite)
24 Lands
4 Urborg Volcano
5 Swamp
9 Mountain
1 Barren Moor
1 Forgotten Cave
4 Vault of Whispers
20 Creatures
4 Carrion Feeder
4 Withered Wretch
4 Nantuko Husk
4 Nekrataal
4 Fallen Angel
16 Other Spells
4 Custody Battle
4 Threaten
4 Grab the Reins
2 Reaping the Graves
2 Unburden
15 Sideboard
2 Unburden
4 Infest
4 Flashfires
4 Scrabbling Claws
1 Reaping the Graves
Completely Out of Place Conclusion:
Before I go, I want to share with you a hilarious site that I’ve mentioned before, assuming that my main mammal, T-Knut, will allow this sort of thing. It’s called [I_can’t_link_to_this.com – Knut, who thinks you should e-mail Chris instead]. Now, before you go a clickin’ on it, I gotta warn you, it’s most definitely a site that needs a”Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics” sticker on it. There are no naked pictures of Serra Angel or anything. Just some hilarious and vulgar ranting about some awful Magic cards. To be fair, there’s a section about how good some cards are, too. I like the rants better, but I’m just a negative person. It’s been updated since last time I sent you off there. Be warned, though. Don’t be drinking any milk while you’re reading the site. The milk will end up coming out of your nose.
As usual, you’ve been a great audience. Please, don’t vote me off the island yet.