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From Right Field: Auran’t You So Cute!

Read Chris Romeo... every Tuesday at
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This week, Chris clarifies his position on Staple Rares and Expensive Lands, and examines some interesting casual decks based around Thran Golem. He’s on a mission to bust face with an 8/8 flying, first-striking trampler. Does he succeed? Only he can tell you that…

{From Right Field is a column for Magic players on a budget or players who don’t want to play netdecks. The decks are designed to let the budget-conscious player be competitive in local, Saturday tournaments. They are not decks that will qualify a player for The Pro Tour. As such, the decks written about in this column are, almost by necessity, rogue decks. They contain, at most, eight to twelve rares. When they do contain rares, those cards will either be cheap rares or staples of which new players should be trying to collect a set of four, such as Wildfire, Llanowar Wastes, or Birds of Paradise. The decks are also tested by the author, who isn’t very good at playing Magic. His playtest partners, however, are excellent. He will never claim that a deck has an 85% winning percentage against the entire field. He will also let you know when the decks are just plain lousy. Readers should never consider these decks “set in stone” or “done.” If you think you can change some cards to make them better, well, you probably can, and the author encourages you to do so.}

Campaign Promise #3: I’ll Tell You All About It

As I’ve mentioned the past couple of weeks, I just decided that I want to go to this year’s Magic Invitational. I’m not going to make it as a highly-ranked player. I’m not going to make it as one of the Most Innovative Deck Designers. So, until they have a Best-Looking Magic Writer slot (heh, slot, heh), I’ve got to shoot for one of the two Fan Favorite slots. This week I promise that, if you vote me in, I’ll tell you all about it. When I say that, I mean, I’ll tell you all about it. (By the way, since many have been asking, the two Fan Favorite slots go up on the ballot in March 17th.)

Vote for Romeo!

Defending the Lands

Last week, I wrote about staple rares. There was a lot of discussion and disagreement. That’s fantastic. That’s exactly what I wanted the article to do: get a discussion going. One thing that people were most impassioned about, though, was my inclusion of the Ninth Edition Pain Lands and the Ravnica Shock Lands. “How can you of all people, someone who writes about building decks on a tight budget, say that the rare lands are staples? Most budget deck builders can’t afford those lands.”

Short answer: because they’re staples. That’s what staples are. Staples are the things you should have at the start of your project, whatever it may be. Merriam-Webter calls them items that are “used, needed, or enjoyed constantly[.]” Cost has nothing to do with whether or not something’s a staple. If you like playing Blue and Black a lot, for example, you should get four Watery Graves and four Underground Rivers. They will be constantly used, needed, and enjoyed. Your decks will be much, much better for them.

Longer answer: I write about building decks on a tight budget. That doesn’t mean that I write about peasant and pauper decks. I can. I could. I have. Those aren’t the focus of this column, though. The key is understanding a budget.

I can’t go out right now and buy four copies of Sacred Foundry. I just don’t have the money. I couldn’t do that with any of the Ravnica Shock lands. So, I picked the color combination that I liked the most — Green and Black — and I’ve focused on getting four of that land, Overgrown Tomb. I take five bucks from my allowance each week (yes, kids, even as a married adult, I have an allowance; we have other bills to pay first), and I’ve been putting it aside to buy Tombs. Once a month, I get one. At the end of February, I should finally have a set of four. Then, I’ll work on getting Sacred Foundries. That’s how a budget works.

Just so you know, it took me almost four years to get my fourth Birds of Paradise.

The idea behind this column is that someone new to the tournament scene, or someone who wants to just pick up a fun cheap deck, can do so without spending too much money, even if s/he had not a single one of the cards in the decklist before heading into the store. This is why my decklists don’t start “four Temple Garden, four Overgrown Tomb, four Cranial Extraction.”

That doesn’t mean that the budget player shouldn’t be trying to get expensive cards. Expensive cards tend to be expensive because they also tend to be really good cards. The budget player, however, has a choice to make. I do it all the time. “Do I buy two Sacred Foundries, or do I get a complete deck set of the Guildpact uncommons?” In the end, I will get both. In the end. That means “just not right now.” (I still don’t have four Chrome Moxes.) That list was cards that I believe new and/or budget players should be saving up to get sets of four. If you’re rich or have parents who feel guilty about divorcing and give you lotsa stuff to compensate, you can just buy sets of four of those cards all at once.

The lands are key. They smooth things out so much that it’s ridiculous. That’s also why they’re so expensive. Take a look at the G/B deck I wrote about a couple of months ago. I was very pleased with the deck, though it had some problems (mostly my lack of sideboarding skillz) once I hit the tourney room. Look at the mana on that deck:

23 Lands
10 Forest
9 Swamp
2 Golgari Rot Farm
2 Svogthos, the Restless Tomb

How much better would that deck have been if the only changes made to it were in the mana base? What if the mana base looked like this:

23 Lands
7 Forest
6 Swamp
4 Llanowar Wastes
4 Overgrown Tomb
2 Svogthos, the Restless Tomb

The answer is seventeen and a half. The deck would have been seventeen-and-a-half times better with four Llanowar Wastes and four Overgrown Tombs.

Obviously, one thing that was misunderstood was timing. I live on a tight budget. (Law school loans without a law school income will do that.) I would never suggest that you go out and buy four copies of everything on that list right now unless you had some sort of Brewster’s Millions things going on or you were a filthy rich supermodel. Budget for those cards. Get them when you can.

The bottom line is: get the lands if you like playing multi-color decks, even if it takes you four years.

The same goes for any of the cards on whatever you would consider a list of staples rares for the colors that you like. Save up and get them. You won’t be disappointed.

This Week’s Pure Drivel

I was inspired again this week by an e-mail I got, this time from Adam Chesney. Adam’s idea was simply this: why haven’t I ever tried to build a deck around Thran Golem? It’s cheap to buy. In fact, you can still get original Urza’s Destiny versions on this very site for a buck each. Online, the Ninth Edition ones are only one ticket, though I did find someone willing to unload four for three tickets.

So, what was holding me back? The thing can be a monstrous beast, or even a bestial monster. In case you forgot, Thran Golem is:

Thran Golem 
5  
Artifact Creature — Golem  
3/3  
As long as Thran Golem is enchanted, it gets +2/+2 and has flying, first strike, and trample. 
“I thought about giving it haste, protection from Red, and protection from Black, but then I thought that would just be too over the top. Don’t you agree?” — Erin Frostwhyte, barbarian tinker

Someone once told me, “Don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made. When you see a lot of abilities on a creature, there’s probably something good going there. Look at it twice. Then look at it again.” This person had said, when it was released, that Morphling was pretty much junk. He’s since learned his lesson.

Thran Golem, of course, is not Morphling. It can’t protect itself. That, sadly, is the big, huge drawback with this guy. Let’s just look at one Aura that might enchant this guy: Moldervine Cloak. If the Thran Golem is wearing the Cloak, he’s an 8/8, flying, first striking, Trampler. Ya think — now follow me here — that maybe, just maybe, he’s gonna be targeted for removal?

Nikki Sanderson and Tina O’Brien both agree. Yes, he will be targeted for removal.

Even worse, he’s not just a creature; he’s an artifact creature. So, it’s not just the Dark Banishings and Chastises of the world that hump this guy to death. Smash can do him in. That’s just not good.

This is a True Story

When I started tinkering (I’m funny!) with this, the very first deck against which I played had Nullmage Shepherd maindeck, and the first one hit the board on turn 3 thanks to Llanowar Elves.

Now, what’re you gonna do if your whole deck is built around a guy that your opponent can simply off by tapping four of his guys? You’re gonna hit the beach early, drinking margaritas while your friends finish the tournament. Mmmm . . margaritas.

The Assessment

What we have, then, is a really strong creature that’s also a bit more fragile than average. He’s strong simply because any Aura with Enchant Creature that hits him makes him so much better than the average five-mana creature that it’s ridiculous. He’s not too tough, though, because, as I pointed out, more things kill him than most other creatures.

The solution is to protect him. Sounds simple, I know. You have to start down a path, though, before you know what’s there. The two best ways to protect him are countermagic, and White spells and abilities that grant protection from a color. That gives us three colors from which to pick. I’m not going to attempt a three-color deck since the best way to do that includes about a hundred dollars worth of rare lands. Two colors is okay, though. How to choose those colors is the question. I guess we’d look at the support spells and Auras that we could throw in here.

Auras

Moldervine Cloak turns Thran Golem from an overcosted 3/3 for five mana to an 8/8 flying, first-striking, Trampling machine. That right there is enough to tell me that Green goes into the deck. The Cloak also helps with the two-for-one trades that will be inevitable when the Golem is Enchanted. T.G. may die, but I can get the Cloak back for later use.

I spent a lot of time using the Gatherer to sift through Blue and White cards that would further the agenda of the Big, Bad Flying Golem. Blue doesn’t have a lot of cards to help that. It can draw cards and does have access to countermagic, but the Auras tend to be very defensive or, at best, not helpful to an aggressive strategy. The best card I found was probably Freed from the Real. (It does look interesting with the Golem, and someday I’ll work on that.) Followed Footsteps seems cool, too, but JMS already did a Followed Footsteps deck. Besides, I’d still need more Auras to make the Xerox Thran Golems very good.

White, it seemed, was the other go-to color. White has Bathe in Light and Blessed Breath. Bathe in Light ain’t all that hot with the Golem. It doesn’t share any colors with anyone, so one cast on a Golem will only save that Golem. (It will help if cast on other creatures with color, obviously.) White also has a card that has to be an auto-include in this deck: Three Dreams. Going to White has another benefit, too. I can reach back into Kamigawa Block for that little Spirit-Arcane-Tallowisp engine.

Sweet. We can protect the Golem (and any other creatures in the deck) and grab some Aura. Which Auras does White add, though? Compared to Green, not many aggressive ones. Holy Strength is okay, as is Indomitable Will. However, Flickerform is awesome. It can protect the Golem. White also has Pacifism and Faith’s Fetters. While we can’t get the Fetters with the Tallowisp’s ability (it’s not an Enchant Creature but Enchant Permanent), we can get the Fetters with Three Dreams.

Is This All There Is?

The problem I had was filling in the holes between and among Thran Golem, Tallowisp, Blessed Breath, Moldervine Cloak, Three Dreams, and the other Auras. Blessed Breath wasn’t enough to make the Tallowisp useful. What other Green and/or White Spirit or Arcane spells would help? And what about creatures? Winning with just the Golem and ‘Wisp would be pure luck. At about this time, I was reminded that Carven Caryatid was actually a Spirit with Defender, not a Wall. Casting that with the ‘Wisp on board would grab me an Aura and draw a card.

Gee, the 1/3 Tallowisp, the 2/5 Defender, and the Golem that’s only really good if you enchant it. Even if I went with a more controlling version this needed more creatures. Fortunately, Ravnica gave us one that slipped right into the deck: Dowsing Shaman. Unfortunately, he’s not too tough given his cost. The first version of this deck started out like this:


Believe it or not, this actually ended up having the best record (an unspectacular 12-8 in the Casual Decks Room on Magic Online) of the five or so versions that I followed this and used the Spirit-Arcane-Tallowisp engine. The only other one that was close was one that had a greater spread of creature enchantments, once I realized that I often left myself unable to get three different Auras with Three Dreams. I dropped down to one Pacifism and added a Treetop Bracers.

Interestingly, the best kill mechanism was an enchanted Thran Golem but a Tallowisp wearing a Moldervine Cloak. Of the twelve games this version won, eight were completely attributable to the ‘Wisp wearing the Cloak. It wasn’t for lack of getting Auras or anything. It was simply that the ‘Wisp won the game (with help from Pacifism, Faith’s Fetters, and Blessed Breath) before the Golem could hit. Also, except in dire circumstances, I wouldn’t cast the Golem with an Aura in hand. Why would I?

The next major shift in the deck came when I dropped the Hazes for Bathe in Lights and dropped the Dowsing Shamans for Waxmane Bakus. The Shamans weren’t really doing what I’d hoped they do, which was (wait for it . . .) return enchantments from the graveyard. One of two things would happen each game. Either I’d need the D.S. to do his job, and he’d die, or enchantments just weren’t hitting the ‘yard. The Waxmane Baku allowed the deck to be more aggressive. Still, this version of the deck was 11-9, not a great win percentage when you consider it was just the Casual Room.

Be Aggressive! Be-ee Aggressive! Be-ee-ee Ay-gee-gee . . . Oh, Forget It.

My next idea was to be more aggressive. Drop the Ethereal Hazes and Waxmane Bakus. Make big creatures. Attach Auras if I got them. I also diversified my Aura base to allow me to grab more things with Three Dreams and the Tallowisp.


That deck didn’t work much better. It was also not very satisfying because the deck no longer focused on getting a Moldervine Cloak on a Thran Golem. It just wanted a Cloak on anybody. Or Pollenbright Wings.

Oh, by the by, Pollenbright Wings on a Thran Golem is loads of fun if (big if) your opponent doesn’t just concede.

I had a feeling that this was going nowhere fast. Or, rather, going nowhere slowly. I had already spent hours trying to figure out a way to make a G/W Thran Golem deck work, and it wasn’t. Time to look at G/U deck.

A.K.A. G/Ulem.

This one also wasn’t great. It was more fun, because I was drawing cards like crazy (I like drawing cards), but it couldn’t deal with weenie hordes. The idea was sound. I think. Defense, defense, defense, Thran Golem, Enchant Thran Golem, countermagic to protect the Golem, game over.

Useless Trivia: Drift of Phantasms can Transmute to grab Moldervine Cloak, Freed from the Real, Hinder, or Thunderheads. It’s a fact!


Yes, kids, that’s right. Actual Guildpact cards. This one I had to proxy and test with live people using cards and everything. What I can say is this: Thunderheads makes a great combat trick and can end up being some massive card advantage. Meanwhile, Repeal is better than they say.

Freed from the Real is, as I expected, awesome with the Golem. He swings for five (eight if the Cloak is on, too), then untaps to play defense, too. A single two-card “combo,” however, does not make a deck unless that combo just wins the game. Freed from the Real and Thran Golem don’t win the game.

Quit While You’re Not Too Far Behind

Homer Simpson once imparted this piece of wisdom to his children: “Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.” While I’d never tell someone not to try, I do urge you to learn to know when you’ve failed.

One thing that I’ve always been proud of, aside from my humility, is that I’m not one of those writers who thinks that every deck s/he ever puts together is grand. Plus, I feel that we learn from our mistakes. (Yeah, yeah. “You oughta be a freakin’ genius!” Shaddup.) For many reasons, I couldn’t get a deck based around Thran Golem to work. An Enchanted Golem is a great spectacle, but it can’t get the job done by itself. An Enchanted Golem, much like Gary Larson’s buck with the unfortunate birthmark, is also just begging to be killed, giving your opponent a two-for-one trade. As one (or even many) would expect, that became the defining problem for the deck. I think both the W/g and U/g versions were weak for trying to protect the Golem too much.

Should I have just gone with an aggro deck with Auras and creatures? Should I have said, “If the Auras hit the Golem, great. If not, they can Enchant something else?” Can it be done? Can you help me? You’re my only hope.

Aesop Says . . .

I have taken the bullet for you. I have fallen on the grenade. I have picked up the ugly one. For you. If you want to try to build a Thran Golem deck, I have shown you what you don’t want to do. First and foremost, I think you need to think of it not as a Thran Golem deck but rather as a deck with Thran Golem in it. I’d check the “Talk about this article in our forums!” link on this one. I have a feeling that someone is going to unleash deck that’s actually good using Thran Golem.

Next week, a deck that works much, much better. I hope.

Chris Romeo
CBRomeo-at-Travelers-dot-com

P.S. Try Eight-and-a-Half Tails in the W/g version. I’ll hear that’s really good.