Sigh…
I guess it’s time to publish one of these articles that I wrote last year and have been storing in my desk drawer, saving for just such an occasion as this. The real trick will be talking in a really vague way, so as to keep up the illusion that I actually wrote this a long time ago (or is the illusion that I wrote this in ’07…?)
First, I suppose I need a topic. How about the new set that’s coming out? I am sure you all know its name, so I surely have no need to say it. The tricky thing is, I may have “written this in ’06,” but I still can’t reveal things about the set until it is pre-released (whenever that is…). Still, I could always just speak about vague concepts, mechanics that may or may not be used in the new set.
How about a card with cycling of two life instead of two mana? I know it is not a new mechanic, but it will (or would) function quite a bit different than cycling cards, I would wager. Cycling cards usually have some role they serve and can be replaced at a loss of tempo if needed. Some even have effects that essentially turn them into uncounterable cantrips.
This card would instead be used to shrink one’s deck size to 56 cards (effectively). The big difference between such a card and Mishra’s Bauble is that you get the card now. This is huge for cards like Vampiric Tutor and Mystical Tutor. In addition, its other attributes might be useful for things like pitching to spells like Unmask, or using its creature status for a card like Ichorid. Ironically, it may even serve as a back-up road to victory for a combo deck that has been Jester’s Capped (assuming it is a creature…)
It is tempting to say this card should go in every deck in some formats, especially Vintage, but I think those who cry “the sky is falling” (I am looking at you, Steven Menendian) may be speaking a little prematurely. Two life is two life. Playing Force of Wills, Fetchlands, This Guy… it adds up. He has his cost, and it is easy to say you don’t care about that cost, but when you cast Bargain, when you are on a two-turn clock instead of a three-turn clock, when you draw three of this guy, when you don’t know when to mulligan as a result of this guy, you may reconsider. Still, this guy is interesting. (Or at least, he would be…)
You know, I really don’t want to just talk about stuff from this upcoming set (which for all I know, might not even be real…). How about we switch gears? Block Constructed? Hmmm, I can sum it up like this:
1. Play 23 Plains/Flagstones…
2. Or play 4 Aeon Chroniclers.
Nice. Format.
Let’s see, how about music? No, no, no, not what I am listening to (that plot device is so 2006, although if you are interested, I am really digging the new Basement Jaxx CD). I am talking about the band edt and I are putting together.
You see, edt has recently built a guitar out of a two by four, some string, three metal plates, some screws, and a roll of duck tape. It actually produces a better sound than his other electric guitar, and he is ready to jam! See, the thing is, he is only one man and can only play one instrument at a time. I, however, am a producer of the electronica, a veritable one-man band, if you will. I have the technology, I have the musically comprehension. Edt knows how to plug my keyboard into the wall (which I do not); edt has talent and motivation. With our powers combined, we will… well, jam, you know?
Don’t get me wrong. We still need to flesh out this band a little. A producer and a guitarist do not a band make. We need people who sing (although I can rap 520 words a minute, no jokes…), and maybe a bassist. I am pretty sure I got the drums covered on my drum machine. We’ll see. I will keep you all updated on when we are ready to start dropping the funky beats.
So, Magic, eh? Okay, Grand Prix: Columbus is coming up. Here is a Legacy Survival deck designed by Brian Demars and Jon Wilkerson, of R.I.W. Hobbies fame:
Survival.dec
4 Survival of the Fittest
2 Llanowar Elves
2 Fyndhorn Elf
4 Basking Rootwalla
1 Birds of Paradise
1 Rofellos, Llanowar Emissary
1 Quirion Rangers
2 Spectral Force
1 Eternal Witness
1 Genesis
1 Loaming Shaman
1 Spike Feeder
3 Cabal Therapy
4 Duress
1 Mesmeric Fiend
1 Big Game Hunter
1 Zombie Infestation
2 Recurring Nightmare
1 Anger
1 Orcish Settlers
1 Flametongue Kavu
1 Goblin Pyromancer
1 Squee, Goblin Nabob
1 Gaea’s Cradle
4 Taiga
4 Bayou
4 Windswept Heath
4 Wooded Foothills
1 Bloodstained Mire
4 Forest
As I am sure you can probably imagine, the game plan is to Survival. The Dream is to Survival out Anger, Rofellos, Quirion Ranger, a bunch of Rootwallas, and either a Orcish Settlers or both Spectral Forces. You can actually generate an obscene amount of mana with the Rofellos–Quirion Ranger action, although the designers wonder if a little more focus on the Gaea’s Cradle aspect of the deck might not serve them, backed by the Magus of the Candelabra. Yeah, do the math on that one…
With this much discard and the Orcish Settlers, there is actually a legitimate disruption package with which to threaten combo decks (not to mention a deceptively fast clock – turn 4!). Also, there are plenty of bodies with which to fight goblins, and Goblin Pyromancer serves the KO. B/W is weak against the creature card type (and sucks in general, really). Threshold really needs to draw Meddling Mage. Really, what it comes down to is the same problem all Survival decks have. They win when they Survival – they get wrecked when they don’t.
I was skeptical at first, due to the lack of ways to tutor up Survival, but after seeing the deck in action, I must say, it is very competitive.
Of course, I plan on winning on turn 2 myself…
So let’s see, I gotta cover all the bases. Next up, Vintage.
The story of modern Vintage: It is illusion.
The idea that there are all these wonderful viable archetypes is an illusion.
At the highest level, there is only combo, although in reality it is not like you actually have any combo. It is just 29 Tutor / Card Drawers, 29 Mana Sources, Yawgmoth’s Will, and Tendrils of Agony. That is what Vintage truly is, at its core, and it is what Vintage will continue to be until something really drastic happens…
And by really drastic, I pretty much mean something is printed or banned so that this is not the case.
It is basically 29 Black Lotus, 29 Ancestral Recall, and 2 Fireball.
Think about it…
So, Standard, eh? Brian Demars and I have been working on a Four-Color Control deck for Standard that has been performing well in testing. I will share it with you after we develop it a little more and take the next set into consideration. However, one thing is for sure.
Aeon Chronicler is tits.
Extended? Umm, why? I guess three-, four-, and five-color aggro decks are where it is at? Ichorid is gonna get a huge boost from the next expansion set (or so it would seem…), so I guess it is worth rebuilding it. Although it would suck if there was some kind of jailor that crippled your ability to do anything. (And take it from me, jailors have a tendency to do that.)
We already covered Block Constructed. What about Draft?
I would like to suggest some beautiful strategy taking into consideration a multitude of variables that you may encounter while drafting this block.
The thing is, I always end up U/R. Like, always. Every time. Oh, I open Tromp like the next guy, but Island and Mountain are always my other two land types. The only times I am not U/R, I end up wishing I was. Often, I don’t even get into U or into R until Planar Chaos. But, no matter how hard I try, I always get sucked in.
See, the thing is, this is a really good kind of sucking, though. You know the kind of sucking I mean. The kind of sucking that sucks you into a relationship (albeit short-lived) with a drop-dead gorgeous lady that you know has more baggage than you can possibly carry, but just bats those eyes at you…
Umm, I mean, well, you know, good sucking.
Anyway, my results are what is messing me up. See, I win. A lot. All humility aside, I do well and it keeps reinforcing this drafting pattern, where I win when I get my U/R and I lose when I don’t. What is the moral of the story?
Play Ghitu Firebreathing.
Err, and play U/R in general.
Still, Ghitu Firebreathing is hot.
So, who is coming to Michigan for Memorial Day weekend? Detroit is hosting the Detroit Electronic Music Festival, where I and 1.4 million of my closest friends will be partying like rock stars for a three-day weekend of Techno and umm, Good Times!
DEMF takes place all Memorial Day weekend at Hart Plaza, in Detroit. That is the last weekend in May and you better be there! If any of you are going and would like to hook up, maybe attend my after party (I live one mile from the site), just let me know how to get in touch with you. I may not be very good at the Magical Cards, but I do know how to party! (Note: I am a good boy. Honest)
It is a good thing I love you all so much, cause I am a busy guy. Writing articles is hard work. Just ask Michael J. Flores who actually writes 46 times as many articles as I do, as well as one book more.
I can do it though, I am a trooper. Let’s see if I can’t even make my comments some how useful or relevant.
1. Sideboard Pull from Eternity in your U/b deck to Teachings up, to deal with the Chronic.
2. Polluted Delta is the most powerful land ever printed. Over Strip Mine, Library of Alexandria, Sorrow’s Path, Mishra’s Workshop, Bazaar of Baghdad, and Tolarian Academy (none of which I use in my Vintage combo deck…).
3. Snow-Covered Island is the most powerful basic land.
4. As a matter of fact, how about this for a list of the best creatures ever printed, at their respective mana costs?
Black
1. Carnophage
2. Dark Confidant
3. Phyrexian Negator
4. Ichorid
5. Desolation Angel
6+. Skeletal Vampire
Blue
1. Stormscape Apprentice
2. Cloud of Fairies
3. Trinket Mage
4. Tradewind Rider
5. Meloku the Clouded Mirror
6+. Keiga, the Tide Star
Green
1. Birds of Paradise
2. Wild Mongrel
3. Eternal Witness (Call of the Herd…)
4. Phantom Centaur
5. Kodama of the North Tree
6+. Verdant Force
Red
1. Goblin Welder
2. Goblin Recruiter
3. Goblin Warchief
4. Flametongue Kavu
5. Arc-Slogger
6+. Worldgorger Dragon
White
1. Ramosian Sergeant
2. Silver Knight (no, not freakin’ Tallowisp)
3. Lin Sivvi, Defiant Hero
4. Academy Rector
5. Mageta The Lion
6+. Akroma, Angel of Wrath
Artifact
0. Shield Sphere
1. Arcbound Worker
2. Arcbound Ravager
3. Metal Worker
4. Masticore
5. Karn, Silver Golem
6+. Sundering Titan
Gold
1. Wild Cantor
2. Meddling Mage
3. Psychatog
4. Loxodon Hierarch
5. Spiritmonger (Flores is gonna kill me when he sees this isn’t Shivan Wurm)
6+. Simic Sky Swallower
Best Damn Spells Period
0. Black Lotus
1. Ancestral Recall
2. Time Walk (apologies to Balance and Channel, but green and white cards are not allowed.)
3. Necropotence (Sorry Yawgmoth’s Will and Tinker, Bad Beat, tune into Flores’ article for why…)
4. Fact or Fiction
5. Memory Jar
6+. Yawgmoth’s Bargain
Best Lands Ever Printed
Polluted Delta
Flooded Strand
Underground Sea
Snow-covered Island
Island
Tolarian Academy
Alrighty, I am out for now. It has been real. Talk to you all later.
Patrick Chapin
“The Innovator”