White Weenie – you either love it or you hate it. It has the richest and longest history of any archetype – it is the most ancient of deck types. Cavemen probably played White Weenie back in the day in the Pangaea championships. And for all the years that people have been playing White Weenie, it never ceases to amaze… I mean, how could a deck full of – well, White Weenies – beat a deck with any good cards in it?
“Suntail Hawk is amazing – I always play it in Limited.”
–Mike Turian
Suntail Hawk. Amazing – somehow amazing. As much as I am trying to sound sarcastic here, I agree. I would always play the Hawk, too. I would even play White Weenie. Of all the decks in the world, I can’t explain why it wins – believe me, I have tried. Mana consistency, utility spells, and a decent curve is the best argument… But Sligh already covers this with much greater efficiency.
Yet White is always lurking just around the corner, backed by all of the cards in the past that proved the deck type works. Savannah Lions, Benalish Hero, Tundra Wolf – they are the pillars of the ancient White Weenie deck. For a long time, White was all about Rebels – they are not true Weenies; they are card advantage in the guise of smackdown. It is just like Wild Mongrel – people say that he may be the best weenie of all time.
Wild Mongrel is no weenie – Wild Mongrel is a monster.
Suntail Hawk – now that’s a weenie.
I think that Judgment may bring this archetype back into the light with a fresh infusion of powerful Weenie creatures. There are three major variants of White Weenie these days: The pure White version and a White/Blue threshold version.
The Pure White deck is White Weenie incarnate. This is it, folks – you are playing the same awful cards that the cavemen won with. It looks so bad, but feels sooo goood.
The White/Blue threshold deck takes the premium White Weenies and tries to pump them up with a Thresholded Sacrament.
A Closer Look:
Pure White:
22 Plains
4 Divine Sacrament
4 Suntail Hawk
4 Benevolent Bodyguard
4 Mystic Penitent
4 Patrol Hound
2 Glory
4 Phantom Nomad
2 Mystic Zealot
4 Battle Screech
2 Lieutenant Kirtar
4 Pianna, Nomad Captain
Notice the consistency of this deck – you will drop dorks, period. However, there are a few tricks and powerful cards in this deck, so you will have more than vanilla to work with. The two coolest cards in this deck are probably the Battle Screech and Pianna. Battle Screech is quite frankly insane – especially when you don’t always lose an attacker by casting it. While Pianna is Legendary, it’s still worth playing four – that really says something about a Legend – that and you can always play out another one after the first dies valiantly in combat while cheering on your army.
This deck is very fast and really punishes a poor mana base. This is the real strength of White Weenie – consistency. The Kirtar’s are nice for taking out Roars and Glory provides you with finishing power. It won’t be easy to power up the Sacraments – but when you do, it will be a beating!
White/Blue:
4 Skycloud Expanse
6 Island
13 Plains
4 Divine Sacrament
3 Quiet Speculation
2 Deep Analysis
4 Mental Note
4 Suntail Hawk
3 Phantom Nomad
3 Patrol Hound
3 Mystic Penitent
4 Benevolent Bodyguard
2 Mystic Zealot
4 Battle Screech
1 Prismatic Strands
This deck uses blue cards in order to get threshold quickly. The downside to this is that you sacrifice the mana base for more powerful effects. Quiet Speculation also gives you the utility of getting Deep Analysis, Battle Screech, and Prismatic Strands while putting four cards in your Graveyard, while Mental Note is just a solid Threshold engine.
While it won’t come out of the gates as fast as the mono-white variation, this version of White Weenie is solid in the mid-late game – just imagine all the crazy beats you will give out when your graveyard hits seven! There is nothing like four 3/3 birds laying the smackdown!
One interesting note on both of these decks – the use of Divine Sacrament is necessary, but it can be trouble when they have white creatures or a Wild Mongrel – watch out!
Well, there is the White Weenie of OBC, post-Judgment!
It always looks so awful…
Even after it just smashes you.
Beware the Weenie.
–Nate Heiss
Team CMU