We aren’t very far removed from the days when Siege Rhinos roamed the lands of Standard, draining three life from anyone in their path. No one was safe; no mercy was given. The most frustrating part of playing against the warmongering pachyderms was how they always seemed to travel in packs.
The first Siege Rhino was no big deal. We all knew what we were signing up for; if you wanted to win the tournament, you couldn’t be cold to a Rhino.
The second Siege Rhino was tough. If your draw was weak a pair of Rhinos, that was probably enough to take the game, but if you were careful and a little fortunate, it was manageable. There was still hope.
The third Rhino was the dagger. Most of the time, you were left to wonder if your opponent was just running six of them while you packed up your cards. Sometimes you would fight valiantly on, but you didn’t have much more to hope for than a glorious death on the field of battle.
And the fourth Rhino. If you ever wondered what was behind the phrase “Three Rhinos and a Dream,” the fourth Rhino is the dream.
Well, this deck has eleven Rhinos. Thirteen if you count Eternal Witness. It’s a stampede and there’s no time for your opponent to get out of the way. You don’t even really need to attack. Just sit behind your giant creatures (but not literally behind, because rhinoceroses are highly flatulent) and drain them out three points at a time. I mean, you’re going to attack anyway, because who doesn’t love a nice beatdown, but it’s nice to know you don’t have to.
And if you’re very unlucky and don’t have a Siege Rhino on the battlefield, you can blink almost any other creature in your deck for value, from Wall of Omens and Eternal Witness to Kitchen Finks and Thragtusk. With Eerie Interlude, you don’t even have to bother with pesky decisions about how to blow your opponent away. Blink them all and make sure that match slip is nearby and your pen has ink.
The unsung hero of the deck is Voice of Resurgence, which is why I’m surprised there aren’t more. Trying to aggressively blink your creatures can lead to blowouts by your opponent, but Voice forces them to play straight into your blink effects or cede a sizeable Elemental token. That, my friends, is the hard lock.
With the high and varied curve I would like to see Noble Hierarch over Aether Vial so you can accelerate into your four-mana plays, and the sideboard is light on hand disruption to help against combo decks, but otherwise this list looks solid. It’s clearly meant for fairer metagames where the value you accrue with each of your creatures adds up over the course of an attrition game to an insurmountable resource advantage. Still, you have the tools to compete in any matchup with access to all that the Abzan wedge offers in Modern.
And with Siege Rhino on your side, you can never be wrong.
Creatures (28)
- 4 Birds of Paradise
- 2 Eternal Witness
- 1 Whitemane Lion
- 4 Kitchen Finks
- 4 Wall of Omens
- 1 Stonehorn Dignitary
- 4 Restoration Angel
- 2 Thragtusk
- 2 Voice of Resurgence
- 4 Siege Rhino
Lands (21)
Spells (11)
