1) Paul Cheon is a master. We called it half a year ago, and the Father Of The Future Of American Magic Sir Aten Himself agrees that Cheon is one of the few who can be “a champion.” I say this only to get the barnage out of the way overtly in the first paragraph, so that I don’t attempt to backdoor it in awkwardly later on.
2) Tiago Chan just placed 9th at a Grand Prix with our deck minus Chalice of the Voids. His sideboard, well:
Feldman: It looks like one of those boards he just made up.
Hill: His board looks staaaaaains.
Feldman: Because he assumed ours was wrong, or whatever.
Hill: I mean, Stifle?
But still. Piracy Charm is nice, but – I mean, Stifle? Maybe without Chalice of the Void the TEPS matchup is difficult, but then I’d rather just have Trinispheres or Chalices. To be fair, though, Tiago is somewhat of a level 6 mage while I am probably missing a Pro Tour stop at this point. He just might know what he’s doing. Maybe.
The point is, though, this is the first time a deck I’ve made has been reasonably relevant in a metagame, and I feel rather warm in fuzzy inside. It’s like I’ve swallowed a Furby or something. I mean, I’m nobody and I still suck at Magic, but at least I can create Gifts Ungiven piles. Now all I have to do is break Extended again for the one remaining PTQ in my region and I’m all set, right? Right?
3) Alex Kim has finally put a shirt on in his Myspace picture. I should be hearing a collective sigh of relief from around the world at this point.
4) Everybody in the world has created a “Top Ten Songs” list and published it on the Internet except for me. Because I strive to be a trendy follower of the emo pack, I’ll go ahead and do so as well so that I can bask in the sap-like deluge of criticism that is sure to be flung my way:
“Evolution Revolution Love” by Tricky
“Lonely Soul” by UNKLE and Richard Ashcroft
“To Zion” by Lauryn Hill
“Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand” by Primitive Radio Gods
“Bring My Family Back” by Faithless
“Black” by Pearl Jam
“Unfinished Sympathy” by Massive Attack
“Everybody Knows” by Leonard Cohen
“Maps” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
“Babylon” by David Gray
…
The deck I want to talk about today was inspired by my favorite formally-sow-teated sprightly sometimes-superstar, Alex Kim. I am pretty sure he tanked out of the GP due to an awful sideboard that tried to transform into Mike’s “Haterator” deck, but the concept of the initial sixty is very solid. The deck has the fastest goldfish in Extended right now – no, it actually does, I promise – and is resistant enough to disruption that it isn’t kold to any particular card. Perhaps most importantly, most people won’t have any idea what is going on until they’re dead.
I have a particular affinity for this deck because it reminds me of “Splitting Headache,” the deck I designed late last year that never won games for anybody else but myself and the guy who was featured in Frank’s column. It’s easy to ridicule despite being very good, and you play at least twenty cards that sit in the sideboard of most Limited decks. Seeing as how I’ve historically cared much more about style points than actual match wins, you can see why I was salivating the first time I saw this list. So, without further ado…
Creatures (17)
- 3 Llanowar Elves
- 4 Birds of Paradise
- 1 Krosan Cloudscraper
- 4 Elves of Deep Shadow
- 1 Sutured Ghoul
- 3 Cephalid Illusionist
- 1 Outrider en-Kor
Lands (18)
Spells (25)
The numbers on this deck are uglier than my StarCityGames.com picture – which is a very difficult thing to be, I assure you – so I’ll go ahead and outline the plan in case it isn’t obvious.
What you want to do is get a Cephalid Illusionist into play, along with a way to target it for zero mana. You then mill your deck, flash back as many Therapies as you need to make sure your Ghoul doesn’t die, then Dread Return (with Acorn Harvest if necessary) the Ghoul into play to deal twenty-plus damage. Seeing as you have sixteen potential zero-mana-targetters, eleven Illusionists, three spells that draw two cards for one mana, and a ton of mana accelerants, this happens surprisingly often. Most of the time you’ll be able to Dread Return without the Acorn Harvests, but even if you have to set up for a turn you can use the Cabal Therapies to make sure your plan won’t get busted.
Sadly (or luckily, depending on how you look at it) I just told you how to play each and every single game 1. You have one goal and absolutely one goal in mind. The only possible interaction you can have with your opponent’s board is to Living Wish for a Harmonic Sliver to kill a Tormod’s Crypt (or Worship) the turn you go off. If all I wanted to talk about were game 1s, however, I’d be waxing poetic about the Locket deck, as that deck has the most insane game 1 of any deck I’ve played in a long time. Unfortunately for it, we live in a format full of Shattering Sprees and Engineered Explosives, and it doesn’t have (in its present form, anyway, but that’s another article) many of the tools to adapt. This deck, though…
Okay, okay, okay. Mr. Hill. You’re telling me a Destructive Flow plan in a deck with four basic lands, plus some random 2/2s and overcosted equipment in a deck with 18 lands, constitutes a good sideboarding plan? You been hanging out with Zadjner much? What are you smoking, kid?
When I first thought about the plan, believe me, I agreed with you. It’s a hodgepodge of mediocre, difficult-to-execute cards that seem to work at odds with one another and don’t ultimately appear to accomplish much at all. But bear with me for a second.
First, you don’t completely “transform.” You bring in the Mages and Mage Stuff if you a) need to deal with Tormod’s Crypt or Meddling Mage, b) need to prevent a graveyard-based deck from killing you before you can kill them, c) don’t want all your guys dying to an Engineered Explosives, d) need to make Sutured Ghoul bigger to get around, say, Loxodon Hierarch or Ravenous Baloth, or e) need guys to hold sticks. You bring in the equipment so that you have relevant threats to present when they stock up on graveyard removal, and have a reasonable plan of attack on two fronts that the opponent has to address. You bring in Destructive Flow when it hurts them more than it hurts you, or can just completely win the game for you right there on the spot. You’ll be taking out Living Wishes (and bringing in Wish targets), redundant Therapies and Careful Studies, redundant Shukos (because you can now get one with Trinket Mage if you need to), and a mana elf if you need the room.
Your plan is still to Sutured Ghoul them. But by pseudo-transforming in this manner you prevent them from being able to take all the pain they want from their lands, sideboard in twelve graveyard-hate spells, sit on a couple of removal spells, or single-mindedly keep an Illusionist off the table to the detriment of everything else.
The reason this works when historically it hasn’t been possible is that your combo pieces are very good at performing multiple tasks. Having three Steelshaper’s Gifts along with a Jitte and a Sword is like having five pieces of equipment. Having all those elves for your Dread Return just gives you more men to take up arms, and provides you with plenty of wiggle-room under a Destructive Flow. Meanwhile, you’re making reactive decks counter your Therapies, counter your Flows, deal with your Swords and Jittes, and avoid dying to a 25/25 Ghoul in the process.
The best part is that because Trinket Mage can get a combo piece, you aren’t really taking out much of the combo at all; you’re just making it slightly more expensive to set up. The decrease in speed is compensated for by a much higher level of resilience.
A couple of notes on playing the deck:
Don’t just dump your deck into the yard when you’ve got “the combo”. If they’re all tapped out, this probably doesn’t matter, but man there are so many potentially awkward situations that could arise. You don’t always have enough creatures on the table to Cabal Therapy away their entire hand. I flipped my deck one time carelessly and my opponent Repealed Dragon Breath. It was real loose when I died during my draw step. Also, there’s no sense in showing the opponent your entire maindeck if you don’t have to. Maybe he thinks you have two Krosan Cloudscrapers and won’t board in Baloths to make you get in two attacks. Maybe he doesn’t know about the one Outrider in the maindeck, and therefore any Outrider at all, and so won’t prepare for your ability to deck yourself in response to a removal spell on your Illusionist. None of these situations are very likely, because you can’t control the exact spells you mill, obviously. Nevertheless, you don’t want to be losing games to them.
Play out your Birds and Elves before anything else. Having guys on the table is the most important thing of all, and it seldom happens that they have mass removal by the time you get online.
Make sure your Ghoul is big enough! If you have enough creatures on the table or in hand, you have to flash back those Cabal Therapies. The Careful Studies are in the deck to get Cloudscrapers and Dread Returns out of your hand without having to Therapy yourself, but it’s real easy to forget about that Elf of Deep Shadow that is sitting on the table making your Ghoul a 19/19. Once again, awkward.
Don’t forget about the “normal” functions of your cards. The first time I played against Alex at the Nashville PTQ, I had a Chalice for two on the table before he had an Illusionist. Kold, right? Mm-hmm. No, unfortunately, I very nearly died to a horde of squirrels and Shuko-holding Birds of Paradise. I am talking about one attack step away. Between the amount of damage people deal themselves and the steps they’ve had to take to stop your combo, sometimes you can just get lucky. Similarly, sometimes you’ll actually have to hard cast Dread Return. Like the chickenhead in high school, it isn’t always pretty but it gets the job done.
Finally, the deck’s issues. I am pretty confident on the numbers right now just because each card serves such a specific function. The maindeck may be off by a land or one mana-elf, and the third Careful Study is more of a luxury than a necessity. As far as the sideboard goes, I would really like a Meloku in there somewhere just to cement the semi-transformational plan. Consider it a challenge for the good deckbuilders among you.
Have fun, my pretties. Win some envelopes for me.
Zac