ANNOUNCER: When last we left our hero, he had valiantly scrubbed out of Grand Prix: Detroit, but while he was down, he wasn’t yet out. He was nursing hopes of a Sunday comeback at a Pro Tour Qualifier for London, but what would Lady Fate have to say about this? We join him once again on his journey from the hotel back to the tournament site, where his fortunes await…
(Traffic sound effects are heard in the background.)
ANDY: See fellas, this is where Jeff wiped out yesterday. Over there’s the sign he took out.
OTHERS: Ooooh. Ahhhh.
SALLY SUE (his best girl): Oh Andy, you must have been scared!
ANDY: Naw, I wasn’t scared a bit.
SALLY SUE: You’re so brave! What are you going to do today?
ANDY: Well, if everything goes right, I’ll be a-stompin’ my way through that there tournament and hitchin’ my bags up for a ride to London.
ANNOUNCER: Can our hero overcome all the odds, make the Top 8 and win the blue envelope? Stay tuned and find out, right after this message from our sponsor, Blue Anthrocite Coal of Pennsylvania. When you’re cold at night, think Anthrocite! We’re here for all your heating needs!
(Musical interlude: George Gershwin – Rhapsody in Blue)
ANNOUNCER: We now rejoin our valiant hero as he receives a card pool and begins constructing his deck. Will he have the tools he needs to take down the competition? Let’s take a look. Everyone at home, take out your Official Star City Decoder Rings and pay attention, and we will now give the encoded card pool. Remember, this is a secret, and only those of you who have sent in twenty Golden-O’s box tops will be able to learn what cards Andy had to work with!
[Editor’s note: Since this is a rebroadcast and Golden-O’s haven’t been available for sale since 1952, the card list has been decoded for your convenience.]
Blessed Breath
Devoted Retainer
Empty-Shrine Kannushi
Ghostly Prison
Heart of Light
Kami of Ancient Law
Kami of False Hope
Kami of Old Stone
Kami of Tattered Shoji
Kami of the Painted Road
Konda’s Hatamoto
Lantern Kami
Mending Hands
Moonlit Strider
Samurai of the Pale Curtain
Terashi’s Cry
Vigilance
Aura of Domination
Callous Deceiver
Hisoka’s Defiance
Hisoka’s Guard
Minamo Sightbender
Minamo’s Meddling
Mystic Restraints
Ninja of the Deep Hours
Quillmane Baku
Soratami Rainshaper
Soratami Seer
Teardrop Kami
The Unspeakable
Veil of Secrecy
Wandering Ones
Blessing of Leeches
Eradicate
Horobi’s Whisper
Kami of the Waning Moon
Kokusho, the Evening Star
Midnight Covenant
Nezumi Cutthroat
Pull Under
Skullsnatcher
Soulless Revival
Stir the Grave
Wicked Akuba
Blademane Baku
Crack the Earth
Desperate Ritual
Glacial Ray
Honden of Infinite Rage
Initiate of Blood
Kumano’s Blessing
Ronin Cliffrider
Sokenzan Bruiser
Soul of Magma
Sowing Salt
Torrent of Stone
Unearthly Blizzard
Yamabushi’s Storm
Child of Thorns
2 Commune with Nature
Dripping-Tongue Zubera
Forked-Branch Garami
Harbinger of Spring
Humble Budoka
Joyous Respite
Kodoma’s Might
Matsu-Tribe Sniper
Moss Kami
Patron of the Orochi
Rootrunner
Sachi, Daughter of Seshiro
Traproot Kami
General’s Kabuto
Orb of Dreams
ANNOUNCER: Everybody got that? Good! Don’t look now, but seated right next to our hero is his friend and ally, Andres “The Mexican Gangster” Miguel. Let’s see what he has to say.
ANDRES: Howdy, compadre. How’s that deck looking?
ANDY: I don’t know, Andres. Seems like a tough nut to crack. My Red’s looking mighty splashable, but I’m gonna have a hard time picking out my main colors.
ANDRES: Hey now, is that a dragon there? Those things are pretty powerful!
ANDY: Gee wilikers Andres, you’re right! I do have a dragon! Maybe I’ll end up playing Black – I’ve got a couple removal cards in there as well. Wow, it looks like you’ve got a dragon too!…
ANNOUNCER: It looks like fortune has smiled upon these two for now… but what’s this? It looks like Andy is having trouble deciding between two possible builds and time is running out! Will he opt for raw power and removal with this decklist?
Skullsnatcher
Nezumi Cutthroat
Wicked Akuba
Kami of the Waning Moon
Kokusho, the Evening Star
Soulless Revival
Horobi’s Whisper
Eradicate
Pull Under
Teardrop Kami
Minamo Sightbender
Callous Deceiver
Soratami Rainshaper
Ninja of the Deep Hours
Soratami Seer
Quillmane Baku
Hisoka’s Defiance
Mystic Restraints
Initiate of Blood
Glacial Ray
Honden of Infinite Rage
Torrent of Stone
ANNOUNCER: Or maybe he’ll try the fast, aggressive deck?
Lantern Kami
Kami of False Hope
Devoted Retainer
Konda’s Hatamoto
Kami of Ancient Law
Samurai of the Pale Curtain
Moonlit Strider
Kami of the Painted Road
Blessed Breath
Teardrop Kami
Minamo Sightbender
Callous Deceiver
Soratami Rainshaper
Ninja of the Deep Hours
Soratami Seer
Hisoka’s Defiance
Veil of Secrecy
Mystic Restraints
Initiate of Blood
Glacial Ray
Torrent of Stone
ANNOUNCER: We’ll find out which deck Andy chooses after a quick message from Hopkins’ Miracle Salve, a magic solution that will keep your mind sharp and your step springy! If life’s got you down, Hopkins’ will pick you back up! Available from your doctor or at fine drugstores everywhere.
(Musical interlude: Duke Ellington – Piano Jazz)
ANNOUNCER: We’re back, and it looks like Andy has chosen the Black deck. I’m guessing that seven removal spells was just too tempting, even if it means only thirteen creatures. Now it’s time for his first match against Matt Herweyer, so let’s see how his decision turns out. We join Sally Sue and Andy’s faithful steed, Jalopy, as they watch the action from afar…
SALLY SUE: Oh no, Jalopy! It looks like Andy already lost the first game!
JALOPY: Neigh!
SALLY SUE: You’re right, there isn’t much to do with only two lands, but getting killed by a Humble Budoka is still pretty embarrassing! What’s this? Oh my, he’s actually switching decks!
ANNOUNCER: That’s right listeners, after seeing naught but 2/2s in game one, Andy has chosen to sideboard into the aggressive White-Blue-Red deck! Hopefully his Samurai will be able to overcome any other Humble Budokas or Goblin Cohorts.
SALLY SUE: Oh no, not again! Even after taking a mulligan, Andy can’t find an Island! What will he do?
JALOPY: Whinny!
SALLY SUE: You’re right Jalopy, he probably should have mulliganed that second hand too. Two Plains, two Mountains, a Glacial Ray and a Soratami Seer just isn’t going to get it done.
JALOPY: Neigh!
SALLY SUE: He did draw an Island! Get out there, Soratami Seer! You can do it, even if it is already turn 6 and Andy is already at ten life!
ANNOUNCER: Yes, our hero did eventually summon a creature to fend off his opponent’s 2/2s, but Matt wasn’t done yet. He still had a trick up his sleeve… a Patron of the Kitsune!
SALLY SUE: Oh no! That Patron will make it really hard for Andy to get back in this game, and that Ghostly Prison and Honden of Infinite Rage Matt just played won’t be any help either!
(A loud shout is heard in the background.)
SALLY SUE: Jeepers! Matt just tried to kill one of Andy’s creatures with a Red spell! Thank goodness Andy had drawn Blessed Breath, and Glacial Ray even managed to splice and kill a creature.
ANNOUNCER: Indeed, things were looking a little better for our hero. Between the Soratami Seer, a Samurai of the Pale Curtain and Glacial Ray, Andy hoped to be able to kill the Patron if it should attack, and attack it did! Joined by an Orochi Ranger, the legendary spirit stormed into the red zone!
SALLY SUE: He’s blocking! He’s going to kill the Patron!
JALOPY: Neigh!
SALLY SUE: Oh no! A Strength of Cedars! That Orochi Ranger will kill Andy unless he Glacial Rays it in response! I guess he has to, but now the Patron can kill off the Seer and stay alive. I don’t know if Andy will be able to get back in this game before that Honden gets him to zero!
ANNOUNCER: Alas, it was not to be. Despite getting Matt down from twenty-four to all of eighteen, the Honden of Infinite Rage got Andy down to four before a Hanabi Blast finished things off, winning the match. Better luck next time!
ANDY: Thank you.
ANNOUNCER: You’re welcome.
ANDY: Actually, you know what? I think I’m done with this gag. I appreciate you all coming out, but it’s time to go back to normal writing.
Thanks for bearing with me through that, folks. I had really wanted to play the old-time radio bit through to at least the end of the tournament section, but there’s nothing like attempting it to teach one how hard it is to write a script describing a game of Magic.
This will also let me mention a couple mistakes I made in my second match. We were both mana-light to start out, but I was hitting my Green/White opponent with Nezumi Cutthroat while we both tried to develop our boards. He had deployed (on successive turns) Kabuto Moth, Ronin Warclub, Waxmane Baku and Moonlit Strider, while I had just managed to Ninjutsu out the Deep Hours and Skullsnatcher. My opponent Chuck also got out an Order of the Sacred Bell and attacked with it (bearing the Club), Waxmane Baku (with one counter) and Moonlit Strider.
I had my two Ninjas to block with and was at thirteen life. I also had Horobi’s Whisper and Glacial Ray in hand, with the mana (but not the graveyard) to splice and a Soulless Revival to splice the Ray onto on my turn, but the untapped Moth made things much trickier. So what’s the correct play?
I think I should have cast the removal before blockers, but instead I made my blocks, putting the ‘Snatcher in front of Waxmane Baku and the Ninja on the Strider, leaving me taking six from the Order. I killed the Waxmane with the Ray when he tried to pump it and finished off the Moth on the next turn, but I dropped to seven. Those extra life points would have been quite handy against the Hikari, Twilight Guardian and Moss Kami he dropped on the next turns.
The second mistake I made in this same game was falling into tunnel vision on my last turn. I had gotten Kokusho out alongside my surviving Ninja and was attacking my opponent, who was at six, with the Cutthroat. I had Pull Under in my hand and was planning to cast it on Kokusho if the Cutthroat dealt his combat damage… which he didn’t. Instead, Kami of False Hope prevented it and I mentally packed up my cards. However, I would have still been able to win, even though I wasn’t looking for it anymore.
I was at two, and my opponent had out Moss Kami, Hikari and a Clubbed Moth (gotten back with Moonlit Strider). I couldn’t Pull any of his creatures to save myself, so I just played Soratami Seer as another blocker, but because of Moss Kami’s trample, I knew that still wouldn’t save me. If I had still been mentally in the game and hadn’t given up as soon as Plan A failed, I might have seen my out.
See, what I should have done was sit on my open mana, block Hikari and the Moss Kami, then Pull Under Kokusho with damage on the stack to leave me at one and let me swing for the win on the next turn.
I’d hate to think what Sally Sue would have had to say about that.
That same Kami of False Hope actually cost me the second game as well. It stopped me from using Minamo Sightbender on Wicked Akuba to drop my opponent from five before I got smashed by the same fatties that had walked on me the previous game. That’s right kids, the seven-removal special couldn’t pull out a single game win. It’s not an encouraging feeling.
Reaching back to Saturday, I was acutely aware that my performance this weekend fell dramatically short of what I was hoping for and/or felt I was capable of. It’s times like these that make me wish I believed in luck. When you believe in luck, you can use it as a shield; “Of course I lost, I just got mana screwed is all,” or “My awful opponent managed to draw his bombs every game” are two very popular examples. The problem is, I can’t embrace it.
Even when these are perfectly legitimate reasons to take a loss, it still walks and talks like a cop-out. I took around one-and-a-half to two times as many mulligans as my opponents this weekend, but I don’t process that as bad luck. I think of it as my opponents not mulliganing enough, and while that’s probably a factor, random chance is in there somewhere. Whatever the “average” number of mulligans was, there’s a fifty-fifty shot I was on the high side.
Not that I don’t like to blame irrelevant factors. It’s just that the factors I choose are ones that I can still blame on myself. I should have shuffled a few more times, I shouldn’t have cut my opponent’s deck, I should have worn a different shirt – would these have made a difference? I suppose, in some small way, maybe, but what good is it to say so in hindsight? Yes, if I’d shuffled one more time, I would have drawn different cards and maybe won. Of course I say that now, after the game is played and lost. All it does is let me blame myself without the ability to gain anything from it. What am I supposed to do, learn which type of pen to never use?
Perhaps luck is a bigger part of the game than I’m willing to give it credit for. Draws, matchups, even the die roll for first choice – there are a lot of things we really have no control over. If you play the way you think is right, but an unexpected play from your opponent completely fouls things up, does that mean you got unlucky or that you should have taken that possibility into account? Game 2 of my second match, I had the choice of playing a turn 1 Teardrop Kami with hopes to drop Ninja of the Deep Hours on turn 2, or I could have played two Swamps into a Wicked Akuba. I went with the Kami, which got stopped short by a Petalmane Baku. Does that mean I made the wrong play or did I get lucked out? At some point, trying to learn from your “mistakes” is like squeezing a stone and looking for blood.
I’m not talking about failing to take a victory path, with the Pull Under scenario above being a prime example. That’s on me, and I can live with that. I lost my concentration, I didn’t see the board correctly, that’s something I can actively try to work on. Mulliganing correctly? I think I’m getting closer, but obviously I have some work still to do. Still, sometimes you’re just going down and there’s nothing else to be said. That might be the case as much as twelve point five percent of the time, but identifying which games those are isn’t so easy. As a result, you’re often not sure whether you actually screwed up or you just got beat. Lots of people tilt toward the latter when they’re uncertain; I tend toward the former.
I’d like to think this makes me a “better player,” but over-blaming yourself is really the same as putting luck on the hook for all your losses. You try to learn too much instead of not learning enough, and you still end up with skewed results. (This is where someone observing your play comes in handy – not just to catch mistakes, but to catch right plays.)
Becoming a good player means not blaming luck for losses you caused yourself, and that’s something I’ve embraced. What the Motor City reminded me, though, is that chance will make a room for itself … whether you like it or not.
Signing off,
Andy Clautice
clauticea at kenyon dot edu