More than a few cunning plays and alterations are devised whenever a new set rears its head. Here the author submits for your approval and digestion a few noteworthy strategies and approaches to foil them.
These are all relatively new gameplay situations granted to us from Ninth Edition or Saviors of Kamigawa that may crop up and ruin your Standard netdeck. Be wary of “bad players” randomly busting out “bad” cards to ruin your day. This article also suggests coping tips.
1: “Help, I’ve Fallen, and I Can’t Tap Out!”
If you read the above line and the voice in your head didn’t sound like an elderly woman, then you are missing out on a great joke.
Problem: Mono-Blue Tron likes its toys, oh yes it does. Sun Droplet, to keep back those pesty White and Red vermin. Wayfarer’s Bauble, to ramp up mana. Chrome Mox, which can help you Mana Leak or Condescend on turn 1. You are going second. Your opponent plays Plains and (whew!) plays nothing. You play your Island and drop Wayfarer’s Bauble. Your opponent untaps, plays a Plains, and plays Kataki, War’s Wage.
Kataki, War’s Wage is a fast, vicious kick in the head to mono-Blue Tron. If your opponent uses a Chrome Mox of his own to start the pain on his first turn, or went first, you will probably be having fits. Your Talismans become a hassle. Your turn 1 Wayfarer’s Bauble becomes an incredible liability, requiring you to only have one mana on turn 2, and presuming you activate it on turn 3, only lets you have non-Annul countermagic online on turn 4. In the meantime, Kataki and a host of Cats, Legendary Dogs, Lanterns, Hawks, and quite possibly Weasels will show up and rip your flesh.
Yes, that Chrome Mox-hasted Kataki ends up forcing the WW player to consign that Mox into perpetual tappedness. But who has the bigger tempo issue, you or the White player?
Advice: Have the Mana Leak or Condescend handy to counter Kataki. Win the die roll. Failing that, make sure there are no nearby solid surfaces for which to bang your head upon. Temptation is a harsh mistress. When turn 4 rolls around, hopefully you should have some sort of stalling tool.
2: “Forty-five cards to search from, and nothing’s on.”
Tooth and Nail already has a hateful card to face in the environment in the form of Cranial Extraction. With that four-mana sorcery, it makes winning many matches a trial. You’ll have to hardcast single 7/10 monstrosities, and know that Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker, has taken a day off from being a useful draw. But it could be a bit worse.
Imagine you’ve got the nine mana on turn 4. Imagine you’ve got the Tooth and Nail in hand, ready to go. But all that they’re going to fetch are … Eternal Witnesses and Sakura-Tribe Elders. Maybe a single Triskelion. And for many people, a game winner that is not.
You’ve Been Served by Jester’s Cap. Jester’s Cap can make the modern Tooth and Nail target-light decks roll their eyes in aggravation. In the past, some people played 7 or 8 fatties that could be hardcast. Big, burly men and women like Akroma, Angel of Wrath, or Silvos, Rogue Elemental, or Darksteel Colossus. They’d just laugh off the Cap.
But you, who follow the latest build by Soh and Company, you who cut the threats so heavily that it makes public radio look flushed with wealth… you can’t handle the Cap.
Ironically, the guy most likely to pull this trick on you is … Tooth and Nail. Who else will be able to have 6 mana on the table so early? (Conceivably, Tron Blue could do this as well.) Nor is it necessary to play and utilize the Cap all in one go.
Advice: Fear is the mindkiller. (Insert over-used Dune quote here. Blah blah blah.) Don’t fear the fear. Too much. Alternately, pack the fear. Or simply pack 4 game breakers in your Tooth deck instead of 3. This leads smoothly into the next point. It is worth considering sideboarding Mindslavers for Jester’s Caps in the Tooth and Nail mirror.
3: McCain-Feingold Act, 2005*
There is no way to slip a Franklin under the table anymore. Barring Epic follies, there’s no way to search your opponent’s library and convince his ludicrously priced fatties that you’re the right side of the table to sit on.
Bribery is illegal in Type Two now. One of the most broken Blue sorceries ever has left the building.
The person who had to worry about this the most was the Tooth and Nail player, who would end up on the wrong side of a Kiki-Jiki. Bribery could also search out Eternal Witness, who could bring back the aforementioned Bribery. Bribery could snatch out a Duplicant, putting you at a further disadvantage in the creature fight.
Yeah, Bribery has gone the way of the dodo, so there’s not much of an excuse to not play that irreverent Darksteel Colossus in your Tooth deck now. It’s not like your opponent’s going to have the Islands to throw Vedalken Shackles at it. It also infuriates your opponent who has just Twincast your Tooth and Nail and fetched out his Triskelion and Mephidross Vampire. Just use Kiki-Jiki to copy your DS Colossus, and the chances of breaking through increase dramatically.
Advice: If you’re the Blue guy, have enough open to get Uyo and a Vampire and copy to get the second Vamp and the Trisk, and just go infinite on the other guy. But if you’re the Tooth guy, you probably want to have a Colossus these days.
4. Hooters Hiring Policy
No big men need apply. (Unless they’re looking for a cook.)
Marble Titan is a pain in the rear end. It makes all the big guys of the world stop and pause. “I will get to attack… but if I don’t get rid of you, it will only be once.” Now, this effect might not stop the presses at the moment, because Marble Titan keeps the big men from untapping. He can’t be done in by a single Shock or Magma Jet. Now, this may not save you any games at the moment, but if a deck that puts massive amounts of big guys on the table arises any time soon, give the forgotten Titan a call.
Advice: Don’t worry too much about Marble Titan at the moment. But be wary in the future. The combo of Marble Titan and Reverence isn’t quite Orim’s Chant/Humility, but it is not to be taken lightly.
Conclusion: Do not be completely surprised if these situations occur. Do not expect them to occur, but if they do, be forewarned.
A combination of two of the previously mentioned problems can be found here.
Hooters Hates Having Hiring Choices
Okay, I can’t make up deck names for beans. Also, I apologize for the large number of rares.
3 Master Decoy
4 Marble Titan
3 Icy Manipulator
4 Neverending Torment
4 Phyrexian Arena
4 Night’s Whispers
4 Reverence
4 Wrath of God
1 Terror
3 Wayfarer’s Bauble
3 Fellwar Stone
4 Caves of Koilos
4 Tendo Ice Bridge
2 Quicksand
7 Plains
6 Swamp
This is a Johnny Deck. It will not win Japanese Nationals. Make sure you have a handful of cards while ramping up your mana with Baubles and Fellwar Stones. Marble Titan and Master Decoy or Icy Manipulator put a lock on the big guys. Reverence keeps the little beaters away. Wrath of God gets you out of bad situations. In the meantime, your Night’s Whispers and Phyrexian Arenas should keep you alive long enough to power out a huge Neverending Torment. This will hopefully deprive your opponents of enough ways to counter your lock, and win the game four or five turns after. Remember that if you have a Phyrexian Arena in play, stack the Epic copy so that it resolves after Arena’s draw.
Make a sideboard to your tastes. It could even have Cranial Extraction and Jester’s Cap in it. And Kataki, War’s Wage. (Probably not, though.)
Thank you, you’ve been a wonderful audience.
* For the edification of the non-American readers and the young, I should briefly note that the McCain-Feingold Act is a piece of American legislation that restricts direct individual donations to political campaigns to $1,000 each. It is not the world’s most effective law, but it was a step forward.