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Call It “Hom-o-nock-a-lus” Again And I’m Going To Smack You

So there I am, playing a little Nemesis mini-masters, safe from the allergens floating around outside just waiting to plague me, when my opponent slaps down a 1/1 blue creature and announces that he has cast a“Sneaky Hom-uh-NOCK-ah-lus.” And this virtually drives me to an apoplectic fit of rage. I want to reach across the…

Withholding Information

We’re headed up to Pro Tour: New York, for the weekend, which explains why this article, which would normally have surfaced on Friday, is here lousing up the internet today. I’m excited about going to New York– it’s going to be my first Pro Tour. I’ve been to Nationals, but never a Tour. Bear in…

The Cynical Approach To Choosing A Regionals Deck

Most people who know me would probably describe me as a generally happy-go-lucky, optimistic kind of guy. I tend to expect the best from people, and generally count on things working out for the best in the world around me. I wasn’t always like that; my childhood and teenage years weighed heavily on my psyche,…

The Quiz Show

A very recent -Files (quick! if you taped it last Sunday and haven’t watched it yet, STOP READING) featured a quiet housewife who ended up being the alter ego of a horrible, vengeful monster. I enjoyed this episode immensely – have you noticed many of the really good ones feature Scully and Mulder doing most…

Conglomerate Mess

Greetings, Magic players out there in E-Land. It’s time for another addition from your favorite author! (I think Omeed posted something today…) But seriously, if you’re reading this, you’re probably going to read the rest; bonus points for you! "So," you’re asking yourself. "What’s he going to write about today?" That’s a very good question,…

Spoiled!

I’m on a bit of a Star Wars kick, currently. Alright, alright, I’m a Star Wars fan. I see Star Wars as America’s Homeric Epics: an Iliad and Odyssey. I totally saw Episode I at the midnight-before showing. Now. To explain. I’m not the zealot who stands in line for a month, waiting for tickets,…

Why You All Are A Big Bunch Of Ridiculous Whiners

It is now the time to reveal The Secret History Of . This history brings up two very important points that you need to understand BEFORE I get into my rant about what a bunch of dithering nincompoops you Magic players can be, so listen closely: I understand that many of you may think that…

Maro-Ed With Children

An Homeopathetic ———————– Relax and unwind, light up that joss-stick, kick off those shoes, undo that constricting belt (steeeeeeaddy on there, old hoss!), reach out for that steaming mug of herbal tea (Bullrush & Nettle, or maybe Thorn & Potato), and be at one with yourself – feel those tired and drawn muscles melt. Comfortable?…

Don’t Forget The Kiddies!

It all started with a scene from the Simpsons. A huge elephant. The family outside, gawking. Marge: Homer, it looks like it could gore. Homer: Hehe, it does look like Al Gore. Bart: I think I’m going to call him Stampy. Little kids love those fatties. There aren’t any elephants in Stampy, anymore, though. Just…

A Bath, UK Tournament, In All Its Glory

Firstly I’d just like to thank all those readers who sent me deck lists and ideas for decks to play last Saturday. I liked some of them a lot especially one sent to me by Mikael Aaby-Ericsson and have started working on a R/G deck with big creatures, , and lots of burn. When I…